Life On The Island
by Musicxlove11
Summary: Clary Fray has no desire to leave New York. But when her parents plan a trip for her sixteenth birthday present, she has no choice in the matter. While trying to ward of a stranger's unwanted advances, tragedy strikes, and Clary is thrown into a new life she's not ready for. Will she find her way back home, or be stuck on an unfamiliar island forever? M for later chapters.
1. Goodbye, New York

"I don't want to leave," I whispered, my breath fogging up the glass as I looked over my beloved city. I loved living in New York, where every day brought a new adventure . . . okay, that might be a slight exaggeration. Not _every _day but I could honestly say I was never bored. My parents were both Broadway stars and used their money to buy out a huge apartment building. The entire bottom floor belonged to me, so even though I was only fifteen (for one more day, hell yeah!), I had an entire one bedroom apartment all to myself. I mean, of course my parents paid for the cable and water and laundry and electricity and food and such, but it was pretty much the same thing. Or at least I thought it was.

"Clary, are you done packing?" My mother pushed open the door and leaned against the frame, crossing her slim arms over her chest. I looked at her and faked a smile.

"Yeah," I sighed as I adjusted the strings of my bikini around my neck before I bent down to pick up my bags off the floor. My parents were super excited for this trip; they were taking me on a three week cruise, starting at the docks at New York Harbor, down to the Bahamas, and then finishing on the Northern Coast of Brazil. I knew it was going to be the longest three weeks of my life, and we hadn't even left yet.

I followed my mom into the backseat of the taxi parked in front of our home and we headed to the docks in silence. My mom and dad were practically shaking with anticipation. They'd actually met on a cruise, realizing almost instantly that they had just about everything in common. It took them two of the twenty one days of their cruise for them to fall madly in love with each other. And on the fifth day of said cruise, I was conceived. Yeah, they moved fast with the baby thing, but they'd yet to get married. Shockingly, that never bothered me too much.

At the harbor, my parents paid (and generously tipped) the cab driver and we walked up the long metal ramp onto the humungous yacht. People in floral print tee-shirts and khaki shorts were running back and forth, helping people with their luggage while still somehow managing to keep giant smiled plastered on their faces. I giggled when a boy around my age came up to me and took my bags. His eyes were hidden under his yellow visor, but I could see his goofy smile as he turned away. My parents and I followed him to our two joint room, and I thanked him after he put my bags down on the bed my parents said was mine. He eyes me appreciatively and I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly wishing he'd just leave. I couldn't stand guys who openly stared at me like I was a piece of meat. I got my mom's thick red hair, curvy body and green eyes and my dad's curls. So what? I did have a personality.

I unpacked my bags into the drawers by the bed before I went to explore the boat. I couldn't believe how absolutely, freaking huge it was! It had to have had at least six levels –including the ones below sea level- and there were pools, hot tubs, and snack bars all over the place. There were small wooden boats placed at intervals of about ten feet around the edge of the yacht, hanging by thick metal cords that barely moved as the ship lifted anchor and pulled away from the coast. I sat down on an empty chair and stared up at the sky, calculating how much longer I had to wait before I was back home in New York, where I belonged. Twenty days, twenty three hours, and thirty six minutes left of hell.

"Hey, gorgeous." The guy who had helped me with my luggage sat at the bottom of my chair, almost tipping us over in the process. I caught myself just in time to keep from face planting onto the wooden deck.

"Um, bye," I replied as I jumped off the chair. I started walking back towards my room, but I could feel him next to me. "What do you want?" I asked, annoyed.

"How about a date? We are going to be on the same boat for the next three weeks," he replied with a creepy smile. I sighed and turned to look at him, intending to let the guy down easy. Without the visor, I could see that he had long, greasy looking black hair pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, and a smile that was way too cocky. The only thing I could think of to describe it was _slimy. _

"That's nice of you, but no. I, um, I have a boyfriend," I lied.

"Is he on the boat?" He had his thick eyebrows raised at me, and I sighed again, this time in defeat.

"No," I admitted reluctantly.

"Then, who cares that you have a boyfriend?" I snorted and turned to walk away, but he reached out and wrapped his fingers around my wrist. "Come on, baby. I'll show you a good time." I didn't look at him as I ripped my hand away and walked away as fast as I could. I could still feel his eyes on me until I turned the corner, and I shuddered in disgust.

_ God, why are some guys such jerks, _I asked myself. I could hardly believe I'd been on the ship for about half an hour and already had some shmoe hitting on me. I laid on my bed with my hands under my head and closed my eyes. Already I missed my friends and the city: the solid ground under my feet, the giant skyscrapers towering over my head into the clouds where they appeared to go on and on and never stop. My beautiful home, my safe haven, taken away from me for three weeks.

I turned onto my side and fell asleep to the rhythmic rocking of the boat and the sound of waves slapping against metal.

"Clarissa. Clary, wake up." I opened my eyes to find my mom sitting on the edge of my bed, her hand resting on my shoulder so she could shake me awake.

"What?" I asked, stretching my arms over my head and grinning sleepily at the popping of my shoulders. "Are we home?" I wondered hopefully.

"No, but it's time for dinner. You're going to love dinner on the ship. It's so dark and romantic. It was your father's and my first date," she murmured dreamily.

"Aw, mom, that's so sweet but I really don't want to go on a dark, romantic date with you," I giggled. She laughed and pushed me just hard enough to rock my sideways a little. I sighed and righted myself. "All right, I'm up."

"Put on that nice dress I bought you the other day, okay?" I shrugged and nodded, standing up. She walked out of the room to give me privacy, and I pulled on the off-the-shoulder black dress she'd randomly bought and forced me to pack. I plopped down in front of the vanity mirror hanging on the wall, and pulled my hair into an up-do, with red ringlets hanging down around my face. And I couldn't ever, _ever _forget the necklace my mom had gotten me on my fifth birthday. She'd given it to me when, for the first time in my life, I'd gotten invited backstage of one of her shows (awesome, right?). It was one hundred percent real diamonds in the shape of a heart with an inscription of my full name on the back. It looked great with everything, from t-shirts to tank tops to dresses. Well, even if it didn't, I'd still have worn it every day, all day.

Once I was ready, I walked out onto the deck of the boat and practically fainted.

"Surprise!" It seemed like everyone on the entire ship was there, standing in the middle of the floor in some truly magnificent outfits, their hands in the air. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks," I giggled once I caught my breath. My mom and dad detached themselves from the crowd and stepped in front of me, identical grins stretching their cheeks. I hugged them while tears streamed down my cheeks. I was starting to think the cruise wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

"Watch this," my mom whispered as she pulled out of my arms. My dad was already on stage, setting up two microphone stands in front of two stools. I turned to my mom and smiled.

"Thank you so much, mom. Really, this means a lot to me." She kissed me on the cheek and ran onstage to join my dad. I grinned as he winked at me. Someone offered me a chair and I sat down gratefully as my parents sang all too familiar songs I'd been hearing since I was born. But I could not have had a better present. When they were finished singing, my dad stepped to center stage and held the microphone up to his lips.

"Thank you everyone, for making my daughter's sweet sixteen truly special. We appreciate all the help. Now, please, put your hands together for our baby girl, Clarissa Garroway. If we clap loud enough, maybe she'll show us how talented she is. Right now, there is someone very special on this boat with us, who could just lead my daughter to succeeding in her dreams of stardom!" he finished, looking at me again. I put my hand against my mouth and scanned the crowd for a familiar face, but I couldn't see anyone. It had always been my dream to be on Broadway with my parents, and I was in total shock that there was someone on the boat who could help make that happen.

I met my mom on the stage and she handed me my guitar. I'd been taking lessons since I was eight and I was pretty confident in my talents with the beautiful instrument. My mom pushed a stool to center stage and fixed the microphone while I sat down. The guitar felt familiar and comfortable in my hands as I softly stroked a few strings to make sure they were in tune. I grinned at the perfect sound that resonated out from them.

"Um, I'd like to thank everyone here for coming. It means the world to me. And thanks a million times over to my parents. I wouldn't be anywhere without them. They support me and help me when I need them. This one is for you, mom and dad. I love you." I plucked a few more strings before I started the song. When it was time for me to sing, I licked my lips quickly and sang. I couldn't help but smile tearfully as the crowd started cheering.

When I finished the song, everyone was clapping for me, and I stood up off the stool. "Thanks again, everyone," I said into the microphone. The clapping died down as I climbed off the stage and walked straight into my parent's waiting arms.

"Good job, Clary," my mom said in my ear. I could hear the tears in her voice. "We are so proud of you."

"Clarissa." I pulled away at the unfamiliar voice to see a tall, statuesque woman smiling at me, her hand outstretched.

"Clary," I replied, shaking her hand.

"Clary," she repeated with a nod. "I'm Sharon Martin, the author of the show your parents are in." That explained why I hadn't recognized her. "I'd like to offer you a position on the cast." I refrained from jumping up and down like I'd wanted to, not wanting to seem unprofessional or immature.

"Wow, that would be so great. Thank you."

"Great. Well, enjoy your party and we will definitely talk tomorrow." I shook her hand again and waited until she walked away before I threw my arms around my parent's necks.

"Yay!" I screeched and my dad laughed. "Thank you guys so much!" I was starting to believe this cruise that I'd dreaded so much might just be the best thing that would ever happen to me.

The rest of the party went by quickly. I danced with my dad, ate a wonderful _meatless _dinner, sang another song, and sat by the pool to talk to people I'd never met before. It was after one in the morning when the party finally ended and people went back to their rooms. Faster than I thought possible, it was only me and my parents left on the deck. We waited until the workers finished cleaning and left us alone, and I stared out over the water.

"You okay, baby?" my mom asked, putting an arm around my shoulder.

"I'm great. But I just want to hang out here for a while. I'll come to the room in like half an hour, okay?" She nodded, most likely completely understanding how overwhelming the entire night had been for me. My parents walked away, arm in arm, towards their room, and I leaned out over the railing. I closed my eyes as the sea spray gently brushed my face with each wave.

"Hey, gorgeous!" someone called and I immediately knew it to be the creepy guy who'd asked me out earlier. I looked around and quickly realized that he wasn't on the deck with me yet, hopefully leaving me enough time to hide. I could hear his voice coming from the hallway that led to my room, so that option was gone. The only other hiding spots were under the chairs –which I wasn't about to do considering I was wearing a dress- or in the pool. I was just about to give up and let him find me when my eyes landed on one of the boats hanging off the ship. I whipped my heels off and held them against my chest as I tiptoed quickly towards it. I climbed in as quietly as I could and ducked down until I was sure the creep couldn't see me.

"Where did you go?" I heard him call, a laugh in his voice, and I knew he'd seen me. Just as I'd expected, it was only a moment later when he leaned over the edge of the ship and peered right into my face. "What are you doing in there, sexy?" he asked. I ignored him, which seemed to just spur him on even more. "Come on, baby. You know you want me!" I snorted, but otherwise didn't respond. "How strong do you think there cords are?" He wrapped his fingers around one of the cords holding up my little boat and shook it. I closed my eyes and willed him to go away, with no hope of it actually working. "Scoot over, baby. There cords can hold us both, even if we are rocking it a bit." His voice was cocky and I turned my head to glare at him. When I noticed he was climbing over the edge, one leg already in my boat, I jumped up.

"No! Get away from me!" I moved to block him and he grabbed the edge of the small boat in his hand as he swung his leg back onto the yacht. He tried to get a better hold on my boat to keep from falling, and, in the process, pressed a red button I hadn't seen. Suddenly, I heard a few loud clanking noises before the boat I was in fell towards the water. My scream was sucked out of my throat and I held on for dear life, my hair whipping out above me. Just when I thought it would never end, the boat crashed into the water, splashing water up and over me and soaking me down to my skin. "Help!" I gasped, my fear keeping my voice from going above a raspy whisper. I tried to stand up, but the boat below me tipped dangerously and I sat back down to keep from getting thrown overboard. "Help me!"

"Oh god! Are you okay?" the creepy guy called down to me from the deck of the ship. I could barely hear him over the sound of the waves and the pounding of my heart in my ears.

"No! Get help!" I screamed back. He turned like he was going to leave, but then stopped and stared at me for a couple of seconds. He shook his head and backed away from the railing.

"I can't! I'm already on probation! I'll get fired! I'm sorry!" He turned and ran without another word and I screamed as loud as I possibly could, huge raking sobs bursting up my throat. The boat I was in drifted farther and farther out into the ocean until the huge cruise ship was no more than a tiny speck of light in the distance. I continued to scream anyway, and tried to stand up again. I climbed to my feet carefully and looked around for a flashlight or something, but I couldn't see through the pitch blackness or the tears that continued to fall from my eyes. I was turning slowly to look on the other side of the boat when, too late, I noticed the small bench stretching across the bottom of the boat.

My foot caught on it and I tripped forward, failing to catch myself with my hands. I felt a sharp pain stretching from my left shoulder to the top of my right breast as I hit a metal box in the corner. I didn't know what it was for, but the force of me hitting it and the boat swaying caused the box to fall backwards over the edge. Packs of food and bottles of water floated on the surface of the water before slipping below and disappearing into the deep darkness. I felt warm liquid flowing down my torso and I knew that I would die out here, either from bleeding out or starving to death. I laid down on the bottom of the boat until I blacked out from the pain in my shoulder.

_ CRASH! _I tried to open my eyes but I was too tired and my body was too sore. I was lying on something hard and pointy and I could feel a throbbing in my shoulder and chest, radiating out through my arm and stomach. The pain became too much to bear and I passed out again.

The next time I woke up, I was being rocked gently, and I could just barely open my eyes enough to see the sky above me. Arms were wrapped under my body and whoever was carrying me held me against their chest, but I was still too tired to figure anything out. Again, everything went black and this time I lost all hope of ever waking up again.

I felt my senses slowly start to come back to me but I kept my eyes closed, trying to take in my surroundings without showing anyone or anything I was awake. The air smelled like dirt and bugs and I could hear birds chirping over the subtle sound of running water and people whispering. I kept my breathing deep and even as the sounds of people talking much closer to my bed came into focus.

"What was wrong with her?" said a male voice I didn't recognize.

Someone sighed and I heard rustling before a female voice spoke. "Dehydration, malnutrition, and blood infection. She must have been on that boat a long time." My breathing got shallower and shallower as memories of what had happened came back to me. The button, falling to the water, cutting my shoulder on the metal box and losing all of the food and water I had, and then passing out. The people talking didn't seem to notice the change in my breathing because they went right on talking.

"How did she get the infection?" the male asked.

"I found traces of rust in the wound." Damn it. Stupid, creepy, greasy guys with their stupid hormone induced chasing. And stupid unstable metal boxes.

"Will she live?" Did I sense anger in the voice, like he hoped I _wouldn't _live?

"Yes, she will. It took a while but I found the right herbs to get out the infection. Actually, I'm almost surprised she isn't awake already." Something cold pressed against my forehead and it felt so good I lifted my head to press my face against it. Obviously, I was still running a fever. "Oh," the woman murmured and I felt my consciousness slipping again. "Jonathan, hold this cloth to her head while I go get some water." There was a change of pressure on the cloth before I heard feet scurrying away. The last thing I heard before I passed out again was an annoyed snort.

I felt much better the next time I woke up and it took me less time to take in my surroundings. That smell was still there; that fresh, new smell of nature. But now I noticed other things. Like the way that I could tell I was completely naked under a thin, crisp sheet. Luckily, it was pulled up just enough to cover my chest and I resisted the urge to pull it tighter around me when I heard a noise. My eyes snapped open in fear and the first thing I saw was a pair of amber eyes that I felt like I could fall into forever and ever and be perfectly content . . .

* * *

**Well, hi there. This is just a little note to anyone who is willing to read it. I would understand if you didn't, since I don't read Author's Notes sometimes, either. Sometimes you just want to get on with the story, right? Yeah! **

**Anyway, the point to this little note here is to tell everyone that this is my first story. I'm a newbie ;D I've always like writing, and have been doing it for years, but this is the first one I've ever actually had the guts to publish. I've always been absolutely terrified for _any_one to read the stuff I write. I'm not actually sure why. Probably the same reason I have stage fright, eh? So, my mom and my best friend have been telling me for the last two months or so to get the hell over it and publish something if I like writing so much. And I finally decided that I might just do that. **

**To be honest and risk the posibility of sounding totally cheesy, I think I finally gained the courage to publish something because I found this website. I've been reading stories on here for no more than four months, tops. I was sitting in Physics one day and my friend starts laughing, and me being me, I had to ask what it was that she found so damn funny. Turns out she was reading a story on Fanfiction, and I started browsing a little, and found a few stories that I absolutely just fell in love with. The moral to my rant and the little look into my past was that the authors on this site are what finally decided it for me. Everyone who publishes on here is so brave, at least in my opinion, and I was inspired. **

**Besides, I'm curious to know if I'm any good at writing at all. I expect mistakes and all that in my stories. I wouldn't be surprised. But I figured that having strangers who I don't know and who don't know me reading my stories would help me feel a little better. Because what if I suck? What if I totally suck and I don't find out until my mom reads one of my stories and hates it? I think that'd be a little more humiliating than someone who I can't see telling me I suck. **

**And, honestly, I trust the readers on fanfiction more than I trust my own mother to tell me the truth on how good -or bad- I am. **

**So, don't hold back, please. Tell me what you think. Should I continue writing, or give up before I melt someone's brains with my awful stories?**

**P.S. I'm still not 100% sure how to use this website -uploading and stuff, yanno? So, if there's not indent before a paragraph or it shows up as one big paragraph or something, I'll do my best to try and fix it. **


	2. The New Girl

_**{Jace POV}** _

I'd thought that, living where I did, surrounded by trees and plants and wildlife, the color green would never shock me. I thought I'd seen it all, every single shade. Oh boy, was I wrong. Her eyes were like nothing I'd ever seen before. The color was like sunlight filtered through the leaves, bright and intense and beautiful. And there were little specks of gold mixed in with the green. I'd never seen eyes like that, and it was almost unsettling: the way they made me feel like I wouldn't ever have to worry about anything ever again if I just stayed right where I was and never moved . . .

I'd leaned over her when I heard a hitch in her breathing, and her eyes had immediately snapped open and focused on me. I stepped back quickly without removing my hand from her forehead. My mom had told me to keep it on her at all costs, but it was getting hard not to turn and run. It felt like her eyes were looking right through me rather than at me, like she could see everything I've ever wanted and feared. She pushed my hand away and sat up, and I watched with fascination as the sheet fell down to the bed, exposing her naked body.

"Oh, God!" she said and scooped up the edge to hold against her. Once she'd wrapped it around herself enough to hide her glorious body, she turned her head to glare at me. She was looking at me as if _I'd _caused the sheet to fall. I hardened my expression in response and met her glare with one of my own until my mother came back, just a few moments later.

"You're awake!" my mom yelled, and I could hear the relief in her voice. I hadn't realized how worried she'd been, and I didn't understand why she felt that way about a complete stranger. The girl turned her intense green gaze on my mom and I backed away from her, crossing my arms over my chest. "Hi, I'm Celine and that's my son, Jonathan. Can you tell me your name?" my mom asked gently as she walked slowly towards the bed.

The girl looked back and forth between my mom and I in silence, seeming to shrink back into the wall. After a few silent moments, she finally whispered, "Clarissa."

"Clarissa," my mom repeated. "How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?" she said instead of answering the question. Her voice cracked, and my mom sat on the edge of the bed to press her hand against the girl's forehead. "I was on a ship. A cruise ship. My parents-."

"Sh, it's okay. Don't talk too much." I could tell Clarissa was getting dizzy by the way she swayed slightly back and forth, and her eyes were swimming with tears. "Can you show me your cut?" Clarissa's eyes flicked to me and I caught sight of the blood coloring her cheeks just before she moved her head to hide her face behind a curtain of curly, red hair. "Oh, I see. Um, Jonathan, could you, um, go get some water and food for Clarissa, here?" my mom asked me. Before I could leave, the girl spoke again.

"Clary," she said. I raised my eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" My mom talked as quietly and gently as she possibly could have without whispering, like she thought the girl was going to get scared of her. Who could be afraid of my mom?

"Um, my name is Clarissa, but I prefer Clary."

"Okay. Jonathan, could you go get Clary some water?" I nodded without speaking and walked out of the house. I climbed down the ladder and walked through the forest without paying much attention to anything. I could easily walk around this island in my sleep. So, instead, I thought about the girl. Clary. What was she doing here? How did she manage to wash up on our beach? The one I'd grown up on without a single sight of another ship? We were in the middle of the ocean, and she'd washed up just as I'd been digging for mussels for my mom. I hadn't known what the hell to do, so I'd just picked her up and carried her home. She weighed like four pounds, and didn't look older than twelve or so, though the curviness of her body suggested she was older. I just didn't understand what she was doing in a boat, alone, far away from any other civilization.

The river opened up in front of me and I dropped down to my knees to fill up a water bottle. By the time I got back, the girl –_Clarissa_- was asleep, her back to the door. "Here," I said, holding the bottle out to my mom. She was hustling around the room, looking through our drawers and picking things up off the floor, just to study them and throw them down a minute later. She slammed one of my drawers shut and yanked open another one, rattling the small things on top. "What are you looking for?" I asked.

"Something for her to wear when she wakes up again. Clary. Pretty name, isn't it?" She pulled a pair of my pants out and held them up to examine them. I scoffed at her.

"Ma, I don't think any of my clothes will fit her. She's sort of . . . small." I'd been able to easily lift her off the rocks when I'd first seen her and, while I'm not scrawny, I'm not a bodybuilder, either.

"Well, we'll just have to make it work until we can get more clothes made for her then, won't we? Or I can have someone fix that dress she was wearing, although that might be uncomfortable for her to walk around in." Her mouth was set in that stubborn line I've come to know so well, and I looked over and Clarissa or Clary or whatever the hell her name was.

"How long is she staying?" I asked.

"As long as she wants to. I mean, where else would she go? We're kind of in the middle of the ocean, Jonathan." She glared at me and I sighed. She was right. I knew she was right, but that didn't mean I had to like it, right? Who wants to share their house with someone who just washed up outside? With someone who they know nothing about? Well, I know I don't.

"Fine." No matter how hard I tried to hide it, I could still hear the annoyed tone in my voice, and my mother narrowed her eyes at me.

"And since you're acting like such a child about this," she started.

"I'm not acting like a child -!" I protested but she cut me off with a lift of her hand and a glare.

"You'll be the one who will teach her. She's going to help you with your chores everyday. Do not argue with me." I choked back my objections because I knew she'd just add more unfair shit onto my punishment for not being completely onboard with us housing a stranger. "And you be nice to her, Jonathan, do you understand me? Neither of us have ever been off this island. This girl has. This means that there is just so much she can teach us." She actually sounded excited at the idea of living somewhere else. I didn't understand that at all.

"What's so wrong with living on the island?" I asked defensively. I'd never even had a thought about living elsewhere. The island always had been and always will be my one and only home. There was no better place on the planet.

"Nothing, Jonathan," my mother sighed. "But there _is_ more out there. There are restaurants with lines around the block because they're so exclusive and there are balls where everyone is dressed in masks so no one knows who anyone is. Can't you imagine it? A huge room full of strangers." I shot a glance at the girl. She was still laying on her side with the sheet bunched up around her waist, showing most of the smooth, pale skin on her bare back and shoulders. I didn't even like having _one _stranger around, let alone a whole room full of them. Everything is better and easier when you know exactly what you're getting into, exactly who someone is and what they can do.

"No, mom, I cannot imagine it."

"What about this? Imagine this: You're walking down a street, you look up . . . and you can't see the top of the building you're standing next to. I hear that that's how high they are! Isn't that amazing?" she sighed dreamily.

"Yeah, sure, mom, whatever you say." Sounded scary as hell, if you asked me . . . which, I guess, she had.

"Fine, don't imagine it. Just, please, go get me some more medicine for Clary when she wakes up." She waved her hand dismissively and I stepped out of the house and climbed down the ladder again. I didn't know what had gotten into me. Just something about the girl being here . . . anything out of the ordinary wasn't exactly okay with me. But I wasn't going to argue with my mom. If she wanted to take in some random girl who just happened to wash up on the beach then that was her prerogative.

"Hey, Jonathan, how's it going?" My friend Sebastian walked up to me and clapped me on the shoulder. "What's kept you? We were just down at the water, man."

"Oh . . ." I mumbled, wondering whether or not I should tell him about Clary. Well, I figured since she wasn't going anywhere, everyone was going to find out eventually. "I was down there earlier," I said but Sebastian started talking again.

"Dude, you totally missed out. We found this boat on the rocks. It was smashed to bits. I wonder if whoever was on that boat fell off and died! There _was_ a blood stain on it." I sighed again as we made our way towards the beach.

"Yeah, about that . . ."

"Do you think it was a chick? I mean, I know I have a girl but we need to get you one." I snorted and rolled my eyes as I kicked a rock in front of me until it disappeared into the underbrush.

"Would you just shut up?" I asked, grinning. He'd been totally in love with our friend, Kaelie, since we were ten years old, and they'd just started going out when he grew the balls to ask her out a year ago. So, he'd been totally pining over her for seven years. Once he finally got her to agree to go out with him, he'd been trying to get me to go after Kaelie's friend, Isabelle. We'd hooked up at the beach a few times, but it hadn't gone any father than that. I didn't _want _it to go any farther than that.

"So, who do you think was on the boat?" he asked as we stepped onto the rocks. Sure enough, there was Clary's boat, the whole front of the boat smashed to pieces and the rest warped and splintered.

"A girl named Clary," I said without hesitation and Sebastian looked at me.

"Dude, how would you _know _that?" The confused and shocked tone of his voice had me choking back my laughter.

"She's unconscious in my house right now," I replied, grinning again as his jaw dropped.

"She's . . . unconscious . . . in your house? And you didn't come get me? Is she hot? How old is she?"

"Dude, relax, you got a girl remember?" I laughed and Sebastian kicked at a piece of wood, sending it skittering across the rocks and out into the ocean.

"Yeah . . . I know. I meant for you," he said, sounding totally unconvincing.

"Whatever." I didn't understand why everyone was so excited about this outsider. It just didn't make any sense. It wasn't like there was a single thing wrong with what we had on the island.

"How long is she staying?" Sebastian asked, kicking another piece of the boat.

"Nowhere else for her to go," I sighed. I wondered if he could hear the reluctance to let her stay in my voice. Would he understand why I wished she wouldn't?

"Is she staying with you?"

"Guess so." I sat on the rocks and rested my elbows on my knees, staring out over the clear blue ocean. There wasn't anything to see for miles and miles, but it was beautiful all the same. The water and the sky were two different shades of blue and the waves could get so big that they blocked out everything else until they crashed back down. Kind of like the wave Clary's boat had smashed into the rocks on. I'd watched it as it built up, and I had actually been shocked by how big it had gotten.

"And why don't you sound happy about it?" Sebastian sat next to me and picked up a piece of wood, trying to break it between his hands.

"What's there to be happy about?" I watched in amusement as he twisted the wood in every which way he could and then smacked it off the rocks to no avail.

"Damn it, this thing is strong. She must have hit these rocks hard," he muttered. "But dude, there's a girl you don't know sleeping in your house right now." His tone made it sound like I was missing something obvious, but I just stared at him. "You could . . . take _advantage _of the situation."

I finally understood what he was saying and I looked away in disgust. "You are seriously sick, Seb, you know that? You think I should try to sleep with the girl who washed up on the beach, inches from death, in my house where my mother is taking care of her?" Sebastian shook his head.

"No, wait until she's better. Knowing your mom, she'll expect the girl to earn her keep and I'm guessing that since your mom saved her life, she'll do it. So, you show her what to do, make her like you, sleep with her, and then kick her to the curb." Why was I even friends with this guy? I didn't like her being on the island, and I didn't know anything about her. But the idea of hurting Clary like that, using her and treating an innocent girl I didn't know like shit just for my own amusement, made me sick to my stomach. No one deserved that. Especially after the shit Clary will probably have to go through.

"That's wrong on so many levels, Sebastian," I finally told him, picking up a piece of wood off the rocks. I picked at the splinters with my fingernails to avoid meeting his eyes. I didn't want him to see the unwarranted disgust and anger in my eyes. I was sure he was kidding about the whole thing, but I couldn't help my reaction to his suggestion.

"Fine, then I'll do it. I could use a change from Kaelie. She's too . . . clingy."

"No." I was surprised by the anger in my voice. I could have sworn I was used to his weird personality by now, but maybe I was wrong.

"If you don't, then I will," he challenged. I gritted my teeth and shook my head.

"No, dude, that's sick."

"But there's something in it for you!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. I jumped at the suddenness of his movement.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"If it works, you'll be able to sleep with someone who might just know stuff we couldn't even dream of. Like, I heard that city girls know some freaky shit, man." I shook my head in disgust again and Sebastian sighed.

"Fine, whatever. Don't be surprised, though, when people start believing you're gay." He got up and walked away, and I fingered the shark tooth around my neck. My dad's grandpa had found it on the beach and passed it down to my grandpa, who'd passed it down to my father, who'd passed it down to me the day I turned four. It was the only thing I had left of him, and rubbing it between my fingers always helped me think.

I sat on the rocks and stared over the ocean for a few hours, thinking about everything, trying to wrap my head around it. Why was she here? What does it mean? Were things really changing? Could we ever go back to the way they were before?

* * *

**Hey again! So, I got two reviews and like four people added this story to their alerts. It may not sound like much to some people, but it means the absolute world to me. And it's really helping my confidence ;D So if you reviewed or even just read my story, I'd like to say thank you. You guys are amazing. It got a better response than I expected in the first day. **

**Now, I kind of wanted to go over an updating schedule, if that's okay? Yeah? Okay. Well, I was thinking I would update this story once a week, _at least. _No excuses and/or pleas to forgive me for making you wait. You see, I work two jobs, and try to spend as much time as possible with my friends and family. But I do have those occasional off days where I have absolutely nothing to do. So I was thinking that, on those special lazy days -like _today_ *wink wink*-, I would update _again, _even if I already had for the week. What I'm proposing is one or more chapters a week, depending on my work schedule. Is that okay? :) **

**Anyway, this chapter isn't quite as long as the first one, but I can't guarentee any of them will be. I'll make them as long as I can in the time I have to write them. And when I started this story, I had originally planned it to be only Clary's point of view. But when I thought about it more, I realized there were so many things I want to write into the story that just wouldn't work in her point of view. So, after some debating, I finally decided to add Jace's point of view in there. Clary's will be all odd numbered chapters, and Jace's will be the even numbered chapters. That way, you have the best of both in one story. Besides, when I'm reading a story sometimes, I just wish we could know what another character is thinking, and I figured I wasn't the only one, right? So now we know. :P **

**P.S. Again, _thank you_ to anyone who read this story, even if you didn't like it. I seriously appreciate it, and I'll try my best to make sure you don't regret it. **


	3. Devastating Awakening

_**{Clary POV}**_

When I woke up again, I was alone in the small hut. I looked around and tried to take everything in before the woman or her son joined me again. The bed I was lying on was pushed against the wall farthest from the door, and there were three dressers situated against each of the other walls. A huge carpet was spread out across the floor and I noticed a pile of clothes on a chair in the corner.

I stood up, my legs stiff and shaky from disuse, and took a few steps forward. I wrapped the sheet around me as many times as it would go and held it to my body with my arms. My knees knocked together as I moved forward again. Who knew something I'd been doing since I was eighteen months old could be so hard to do after only . . . how many days had I been unconscious anyways?

I lifted my foot to take another step forward but a sound distracted me, causing my foot to get caught on the edge of the carpet and sending me sprawling forward. The boy who'd been in there with me earlier stepped into the doorway just as I fell, and automatically jumped forward to catch me. His arms wrapped around me and he supported my weight until I could get my feet right on the ground again. My face was hot and I could barely meet his gaze as I pushed out of his arms and tightened the sheet around me.

"You shouldn't be walking yet," he said, his eyes careful. He seemed alert, like he was ready for me to attack him.

"I'm fine," I said, completely annoyed with this strange boy. If I was barely strong enough to walk, how would I attack him? That was just stupid. He was still standing too close for comfort –especially considering I was only wearing a _bed sheet_-, so I stepped back, trying to walk to the bed without taking my eyes off of him. I couldn't have guaranteed to myself that _he _wouldn't attack _me._ It would have been extremely hard to defend myself in my weakened state. He stared at me in a way that made me feel like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking, and I was getting increasingly more uncomfortable with his scrutiny.

Luckily, I got back to the bed without falling again and I plopped down, feeling utterly defeated. What was I going to do? Where was I? Were my parents looking for me? Had that guy who had caused this tell them anyway, despite being 'on probation' with the risk of 'getting fired'? Was the throbbing on the left side of my body ever going to stop? I dropped my head into my hands and pressed my palms against my eyes. I didn't understand what I'd done wrong to deserve this. Whatever it was, I wondered what I'd have to do to make it right, and if that would get me sent home.

"A-are you okay?" the boy asked quietly, his voice unsure. I didn't know what to say so I just shook my head.

"Jonathan, are you up there?" I heard a voice call from outside. The voice was almost familiar to me now, so I knew that it was the woman who'd treated my cut earlier. She'd studied the stitches sewn into my skin carefully for a few moments, and then dabbed something cold on it that made it feel better. But before I'd been able to ask her the questions I'd wanted to, dizziness had washed over me and I think I passed out again. How long ago was that, anyway?

"Yeah, mom, but I, uh, I think you should come up here," the boy answered. I didn't move as the woman came into the house and sat on the bed next to me. I didn't move as she put her hand on my back. I just pressed my hands tighter into my eyes and attempted to push back the tears that threatened to drown me.

Once I swallowed back my sobs and got myself under control, I lifted my head out of my hands and looked into the kind face of the woman. She was very thin, but her skin was soft as she took my hands between hers. Her eyes were so dark they were almost black, but I could see a deep kindness in them. I immediately liked her. I didn't know if it was from the concern I could feel coming from her, or the honesty I saw in her gaze. Probably both. I didn't care what it was, but I liked it. And I almost immediately trusted her.

"It'll be okay," she murmured, squeezing my hands comfortingly.

"Where am I?" I asked, my voice thick with tears and panic. She didn't answer me for a few minutes as she looked at her son or whatever. I vaguely remembered her telling me their names but I couldn't make sense of any of the craziness zipping around inside my head.

"You're on an island in the North Atlantic Ocean," she finally answered. Wasn't New York on the coast of the North Atlantic Ocean? My heart sped up at the thought. "The closest place to this island is Iceland, and that's still over one hundred miles away." My shoulders slumped. _I'm never getting out of here,_ I thought.

"What day is it?" I asked, wondering how long it'd been since I fell off the ship. Did I miss the entire cruise? How long did it take for my parents realize I was gone? Did they connect the missing boat with my disappearance? Did they think I ran away?

"It's June sixteenth." Oh my _God_. Ten days since my birthday. Ten days since that guy pushed the button on the side of the boat, sending me down into the water and away from the ship. Ten days since I cut my shoulder on a rusty metal box.

"How long have I been here?" I whispered. My world was falling apart. My head ached behind my eyes with the realization that nothing in my life would ever be the same.

"You've been here, in and out of consciousness, for six days." _Then I'd been in the boat for four_, I figured. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself, but it didn't help in the slightest.

"How did I not bleed out?"

"I don't know, Clary." Her voice held a never ending patience that made me want to lean into her shoulder and have her hug me while I cried. But I wouldn't. I didn't even know her name.

"What am I going to do?" I asked myself. "Do any boats come this way? Have you ever seen any?"

"Sorry, hun, but no. No boats ever come this way." I could hear the sadness in her voice, sadness for _me, _and I felt bad for wanting to get away so fast. But I had to. My life was waiting for me in New York.

"What about the boat I came here in? The reason I blacked out is from cutting myself on that stupid box. Maybe I can make it back-," I said excitedly but she shook her head, squeezing my hand again. My hope deflated like a punctured balloon.

"Your boat was wrecked against the rocks on the beach. Oh, Clary, I'm so sorry we can't help you more." I suddenly felt really tired, but I didn't want to fall asleep. I was afraid that the pain in my chest would kill me. When the woman realized I was spent, she stood up and walked over to the pile of clothes on the chair. "Here, these are Jonathan's, so they'll be big on you. But I'll sew up your dress and we can get you some more clothes." I nodded mechanically and took the pile, waiting for her and the boy to leave the room so I could change. I managed to pull on the soft, cotton pants and the t-shirt without standing up. The pants were too big around the waist and much too long, and the t-shirt was too big, but I felt too hopeless to care.

That was it. My life was over. I was never going to fulfill my dream of being a Broadway star like my parents. I was never going to fall in love or have kids. I'd be lucky to turn seventeen. How could I expect people to want me on the island when I didn't even want to be there myself? That wouldn't be fair. What if everyone was crazy on the island? I mean, why would anyone want to live on an island their whole lives? With the same people and no opportunities to do anything great with themselves? Honestly, I didn't see the draw . . .

I walked onto the deck surrounding the house and almost screamed. I hadn't realized the house was actually in the air, built around the a huge, thick tree. It wasn't high, but after freefalling fifty feet in a boat, I had a new appreciation for heights. Without looking down, I slowly climbed down the ladder, hoping no one saw me. No such luck.

"Clary?" I looked up the ladder to see the boy staring down at me. His hands were on either side of the railing that surrounded the deck around the house, and I could see the confusion in his eyes. I shook my head, hoping he understood my message, and jumped off the end of the ladder. My head spun and I stumbled, but I caught myself on the tree trunk and walked on. The trees grew thinner as I walked through them, and the smell of the ocean got stronger and stronger until I finally broke from the forest. A light, sandy beach stretched to my left and right and the clear ocean opened up in front of me, expanding for miles and miles until it swallowed everything else. It was mesmerizing, and if I hadn't been so depressed, I would have admitted that it was extremely beautiful.

Then I saw them: the rocks, my boat smashed to pieces. I walked over to it, dragging my feet through the sand, and sat down against the broken wood so I was facing the water. Something felt like it was breaking inside of me and I didn't know what to do. I reached up towards my neck, seeking reassurance from the cold chain and heart I never took off . . .

When my fingers met nothing but smooth skin, my muscles locked down. It couldn't be gone. It _couldn't_. I lifted both hands to my chest and felt around my neck for any sign of it. I was hoping it had just swung around my neck so the pendant was against my back, or gotten caught in my hair or something. As long as I still had it I could handle almost anything else anyone threw at me. But when my search came up empty, I realized it was gone. It made sense. It probably got ripped off on the edge of the box when I fell, and was somewhere under the ocean now. And why would I get to keep it when everything else was taken away from me? My eyes filled with tears, but I choked them back again. Nothing good would come from me crying. It wouldn't get me a ride home. The most it would get me was pity, which was the last thing I wanted from anybody on this stupid island.

I stood up and turned towards the forest to go back to the house, but nothing looked familiar. I didn't know which way to go, how to get back to where I came from. After all the stuff that had already happened to me, I was lost on the island, without anyone to turn to.

I collapsed back onto the rocks and stared up at the sky, ignoring the sharp rocks and splintered wood pushing into my back. _Why me?_ I wondered, and then I said it out loud. "Why me?" And then I screamed it. "Why me?"

I watched the sky as it went from clear blue, to orange and pink and purple, to black with tiny specks of light. It felt like hours since I first left the house or hut or whatever and I was almost happy I didn't know the way back. Then the lady who'd saved me wouldn't find out that I really wished she hadn't. I wouldn't have to live with the fact that I had nothing besides memory of my life, things that I couldn't prove. I no longer had my necklace or my guitar or my dress or my house. Who was I without those things?

"Clary?" The voice was deep and smooth and came out of nowhere, and I grabbed a rock as I jumped off the ground. If someone was going to kill me, I wasn't going down without a fight. The woman's son stepped onto the rocks and I could see him clearly in the light of the moon. His face was an emotionless mask, but his arms were held limply by his sides, so I knew he wasn't holding a weapon.

"What?" My voice cracked and I turned back towards the ocean so I could skip the rock across the waves. It bounced three times before sinking.

"My mom is wondering if you're okay." Then why was _he _here, if it was his mom who cared? I didn't need his help.

"I'm fine."

"Why didn't you come back?" He sounded merely curious, but I was tired and upset, so I convinced myself that he was mocking me. Anger bubbled in my chest.

"Why do you care?" I asked through my teeth. I wasn't about to admit that I'd wanted to return to the house but I hadn't known the way back. That would just be another reason for him to mock me.

"I don't. My mom does." I closed my eyes and let the breeze from the ocean wash over me, feeling calmness replace my anger.

"Well, tell her I'm fine."

"She wants you to come back. She's got something she wants to give you." He was starting to sound impatient and I sighed.

"Tell her thanks but no thanks." I couldn't take anything more from her. It'd be wrong. I heard him exhale angrily as he stepped in front of me, forcing me to look at him.

"Let's go. She's waiting for you," he said and his tone didn't invite argument. Too bad I never needed an invitation.

"Go right ahead. You know, I don't know who you think you are and I don't care. I-," I started but he cut me off.

"Shut up. She saved your life and the least you can do is go back and tell her to her face that you don't appreciate it." His eyes were narrowed angrily at me and I turned my head away. He was right: I was being extremely rude. Even if I wished she _hadn't, _she had stopped the infection from killing me and sewn up the stupid cut. She didn't have to but she did and I did appreciate her trying.

"Fine, lead the way," I growled and he stepped around me. Without looking to be sure I was following him, he strode confidently into the forest, almost immediately disappearing from sight. I rushed after him so I didn't get lost, and it surprised the hell out of me that he knew where he was going in so little light. The tree canopy spread out above our heads blocked out the moon and the stars, so the only thing I could see of him was the white of his t-shirt.

We got back to the house about five minutes later, and I suddenly noticed it wasn't just a house . . . there was an entire village suspended in the trees. Candle light shone through every window, and I realized there were about two dozen, all surrounded by wooden decks that were connected with rope bridges. But judging by the huge group of people congregated around a huge fire pit in the center of the village, holding plates covered in food I'd never seen before, I would have bet that the majority of the houses were empty. I felt my mouth open, and I closed it, again and again. I knew I was gaping and probably looked like a fish, but I couldn't help it. It was completely unbelievable that so many people could be willing to live on an island like this.

"Are you coming?" I continued gaping at the place and the people as I followed the boy to one of the ladders. I was totally in shock that I'd been so upset earlier that I hadn't noticed any of it. Usually, I was much more perceptive than that. I stepped into the house and immediately saw the woman who'd saved me. She was sitting on the bed with her hands clasped on her lap, and she nodded at her son or whatever, who stepped out of the room and disappeared around the side of the house.

"How are you feeling, Clary?" she asked. I stood awkwardly by the door and shrugged.

"I'm okay, thanks."

"I have something for you." She reached behind her but I shook my head. I help my hands out in front of me and backed away.

"No! No, please, you've already done too much," I stammered. "I would feel awful if you did anything else." She smiled kindly at me and gestured that I sit down on the bed next to her, and I only hesitated a second before I did.

"I would feel awful if I didn't return what's rightfully yours." I tilted my head to the side confusedly as she reached behind her again. "Don't worry. You'll love it."She brought her hand out from behind her back but kept her fingers clenched loosely so I couldn't see what she was holding.

Then, she uncurled her fingers and I gasped. Nestled in her palm was my necklace, the diamonds and silver shimmering just like I remembered. I reached out a finger to touch the tiny chain, thinking it was a figment of my imagination. When I felt the metal under my hand I lifted it up and held it to my cheek.

"Oh, thank you. Where did you find it?" I cried, finally letting some of the tears I'd held in since I woke up spill over. I ignored them as they trailed down my face and dripped off my chin, creating a wet stain on the chest of the shirt I had on.

"You were wearing it when Jonathan found you. I took it off so I could heal your cut, and it was covered in blood. So, I had it cleaned before I gave it back to you. That's why it took so long."

"Thank you so much! But how did you have it cleaned? Is there, like, a jewelry store out here? How do things work in a village like this?" I asked teasingly. I was so happy that she'd found my necklace that I felt I _could _tease her, which was more than I expected for a long time. I clasped the necklace around my neck and smiled as it settled right in the hollow at the base of my throat, just like I remembered.

"I have plenty of time to explain, Clary. But right now we should go eat." She got up to leave but I quietly cleared my throat, embarrassed.

"Excuse me. I, um, remember you telling me your name but I can't remember what it is," I whispered.

"Celine. And that's Jonathan," she said, pointing at the shadow stretching across the deck outside the doorway. I nodded and followed her downstairs, continuously running my finger over my necklace. Maybe I wasn't stuck in a hopeless situation. Maybe, with the help of Celine, I could find a way back home.

* * *

**Uh oh. Seems Jace and Clary don't get along too well, eh? **

**Okay, I have a warning. I've been reading some Author's Notes and stuff from other stories, and I feel I should clear up something now before I go on. In my stories, it is most likely that all of the characters will be _out of character. _I know some people like to use the manerisms and habbits and personality traits the characters had in the original story, but I don't exactly strive for that. It's just a lot easier for me to write a story when I control _every _aspect of _every _character and _every _detail. Cassandra Clare is an absolute genius, and I love Clary and Jace -as well as all of the other characters in her series- just the way the are in _her_ stories. But this is _my_ story, and in the way I imagined them, they're different. I know some people won't like that, and I'm sorry. But, hey, you can't please everyone, right? **

**I am absolutely loving the reviews. So far, I haven't gotten any that say I'm a bad writer, which is freaking amazing :D You guys are awesome. I appreciate them more than I can tell you. **

**I'm thinking of doing some reccomendations for stories in my AN's. Anybody think I should or should I just shut up? Let me know you're opinions and all that stuff. **

**Anyway, there's chapter three for you! I'll update when I can, which I believe will be Tuesday, since I've gotten the majority of chapter four written. But I work, like, ten hours tomorrow. So expect an update somewhere in the next two days :) **


	4. Apparently, I'm Scary

_**{Jace POV}**_

I followed my mom and Clary down the ladder and to the fire, where Imogen handed us each a plate. Everyone in our village had a job: my mom was a doctor, there were people who made our clothes, people who hunted and fished and found edible plants and fruits, people who cooked the food, people who found herbs for my mom's medicines, and people who worked on the houses in the village, etc –along with people with extra little skills, like whittling or weaving. I could do pretty much everything. When I was little, I was one of those kids who could never sit still, and would destroy anything I touched just for something to do. So, my mom and the rest of the village decided to teach me everything they knew. And it worked. I was never bored because I was always helping someone or learning something new.

And because I'd expressed my distaste at the idea of Clary staying with us, I was going to have to teach her everything I knew. I could already tell it was going to be a nightmare. She'd already pissed me off earlier on the rocks with her selfish attitude. I couldn't believe my mom planned on making me put up with that shit on a daily basis. Alone.

If you asked me, I would say that Clary wouldn't care enough to learn any of things I did. She'd probably just complain about everything while I attempted to control the urge to wrap my fingers around her slender little neck, or maybe find some way to off _myself_. But nobody asked me. I was just a seventeen year old boy who knew everything there was to know about living on the island. I knew that was an exaggeration, as I knew there were a lot of things that _nobody _knew. But still . . .

I knew a whole hell of a lot.

"Jace? Is that her?" I was sitting down on one of the chairs that our village's carpenter, Robert, had made when Sebastian walked up behind me. He gestured at Clary with his chin and I looked up at her. She was standing at the edge of the circle, pushing a piece of fish around her plate with a fork, her face pained.

"Yeah," I muttered, looking down. Of course the food wasn't good enough for her. Nothing here would satisfy her. She was probably from somewhere where they had food loaded with sugar and other fake shit. Well, I figured she'd just have to suck it up and deal with it if she planned on _living _for another week.

"Dude, she's seriously hot." I snorted in disgust. "Should I go talk to her?"

"No, you have a girlfriend. If Kaelie ever found out that you were so much as _looking_ at another girl, she'd bite your head off." And it was true. But, in her opinion, she could go after other guys. Like me. Whenever Sebastian wasn't around, she was all over me. I didn't understand why she thought I'd go after my best friend's girl. Even if I didn't have to see him every day I wouldn't.

"Yeah, you're right. And she's looking at me right now. So, you go talk to her. By the way, are you going to eat that?" I pushed my plate at him and shook my head.

"I already talked to her." Which wasn't necessarily a lie. But it'd been more of an argument than a conversation. But in my opinion, that shit still counted.

"Oh yeah? Did you talk her into letting you-," he said, making obscene hand gestures and pressing his tongue into his cheek. But I cut him off.

"If I go talk to her, will you stop being so disturbed?" I stood up in annoyance and walked towards her.

"No promises!" Sebastian laughed.

Clary didn't even look up as I sat down next to her. She just kept staring down at her food. "It's fish. It won't bite you," I said and she jumped like I had just materialized out of thin air.

"Yeah, thanks." She put her plate down on the ground before she brought her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. I watched her as she curled around herself, wondering what she could be thinking about. Almost as if she'd read my mind, she spoke. "I don't know how you do it," she said suddenly.

"Do what?" I asked, leaning back in my chair.

"Live in the forest. I mean, I know you aren't the only one here but it still seems lonely. And boring. No offense."

"You haven't even been awake for a day. How could you know what there is to do here?" I asked defensively. I hadn't meant it to sound so mean, but it did, and I saw her bristle.

"It's an island. With nothing but trees and water. Sounds pretty damn boring to me," she muttered. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, well, you get used to it." She looked away from me and her shoulders slumped like they were too heavy to hold up.

"I won't," she said so quietly I wasn't sure I'd heard her right.

"Trust me," I replied without thinking, and her head whipped around again. She looked like it was hard for her to say what she was going to say, but her eyes were filled with determination, and she spoke like it would kill her if she didn't.

"How?" she asked, frustrated. "How am I supposed to trust you? I don't even know you! I still think every time I see you that you're just waiting for the perfect time to attack me. It'd be great not to feel that way but, well, I do." I laughed: I couldn't help it. "It's seriously not funny."

"It is. But only because that's how I felt for a while. Not anymore though."

"I could still attack you," she murmured, a playful tone in her voice. I sighed.

"Yeah, I'm terrified." She looked over at me and giggled a little.

"Fine, you could overpower me easily. But I'm serious. You . . . scare the hell out of me." She leaned away from me like she thought I would start swinging. _Wow, she wasn't kidding_, I thought to myself.

"Aw, come one, I'm not as bad as all that," I said, but I wasn't upset. I actually found it kind of amusing that she was afraid of me.

"You think so? No offense, but you're pretty strong. I mean, if you carried me all the way here _and_ up the ladder from the beach, then it shouldn't be surprising that I'm scared of you."

"How'd you know I was the one who carried you?" I asked, shocked. She'd been completely passed out when I'd picked her up off the rocks, and I hadn't seen her eyes open once while I was carrying her. And finding out that she knew it was me made me realize how much I wished she _hadn't. _

"You're mom told me. Wait, she _is _your mom right? I mean, it'd be kind of weird for me to call her your mom if she really isn't." I laughed.

"Yeah, that's my mom. She's a little . . . out there." Clary turned her big, green eyes on me and I could see guilt and something else I couldn't put a name to in her gaze.

"She's awesome. She's so nice," she murmured, looking back down at her hands after a moment. Her shoulders rose like she was taking a deep breath before she met my eyes again. "And look. I know it seemed like I didn't appreciate everything she did for me earlier on the rocks. I did. I _do. _It's just . . . a lot to take in. Completely overwhelming. And, to be one hundred percent honest, the reason I didn't come back for so long is because I didn't know the way. I was embarrassed and that's why I didn't tell you that." I laughed again and she looked at the fire. "It's not funny. This place is huge and I could tell that just by looking at it. You're not the only scary thing in this place." _Jeez, am I really that scary?_ I asked myself. I hadn't meant to be.

"Sorry, it just sounds weird to me because I know this entire island like the back of my hand. I know about places that no one else does, actually." I couldn't keep the smugness from entering my voice, and if the small shake of her head was any indication, Clary didn't miss it.

"Ah," she said. It was getting late and the fire was going down. I looked back at Clary and noticed that she was shivering in my thin t-shirt.

"You should eat," I said, looking down at her completely untouched food. My mom had only fed her soup since she got here, and I was surprised she wasn't starving.

"Not hungry." I doubted that.

"Seriously, it's fully cooked and no one around here would poison you," I laughed and I heard her sigh heavily.

"I know. But I don't . . ." She paused for a long time before she finished in a rush. "I don't eat anything that used to have a face." I stared at her in confusion for a moment before I understood what she was saying.

"You're a vegetarian?" I asked. I knew what a vegetarian was in theory but, since no one on the island had ever decided to be one, I hadn't ever really learned what it entitled.

"For most of my life. I don't care, call me weird. I don't eat anything that used to have a family or anything that could ever feel pain. That includes fish. If that means I'll die of starvation here, then so be it. But I won't change my beliefs just because they might kill me." I laughed again and she pushed me gently with her elbow. "You seem to like laughing at me, don't you?" she asked, her eyes sparkling at me in the light from the fire.

"Well, hey, you're weird," I said and she joined my laughter.

"At least I'm not scary," she shot back.

"Fair enough," I replied and she giggled again.

"Well, I'm cold. Good night, I guess." She stood up and walked away, and I stared at the fire. That was weird. I was surprised that that conversation had actually gone well. Sebastian gave me thumbs up from across the clearing, and I sighed. He'd totally blow the whole thing out of proportion even if I told him what really happened. I sat in the chair for another ten minutes before I got up and went home to sleep.

~LOTI~

The next day, Clary was still sleeping while my mom and I talked on the deck. I knew we'd actually gotten along last night, but I still wasn't exactly excited to have to teach her everything. "Mom, do I have to bring Clary with me today? I mean, she's probably still not completely better." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Then you're just going to have to help her more, aren't you?" I sighed and looked out over the village. The sun wasn't fully up yet but everyone was already awake, almost wired to wake up at dawn. Everyone did their work early in the morning and used the rest of the day as 'leisure time'. "It looked like you guys were talking last night. Why don't you want to bring her along?"

"I don't know. Just seems like . . . like it's not something she'd want to do."

"What? Get water? Find herbs? Teach her, Jonathan, and you'll find that she might just learn to like it. And, in the process, you might just learn to like her." There was something weird in her voice, but she walked away before I could ask her what she meant. I shook my head, even though I was used to my mom and her weird, cryptic riddles that no one but her understood.

"Clary?" my mom called into the house. There was a grumbled reply and I grinned as I followed her into the house. "Clary, wake up."

"Hm?" Clary mumbled.

"Come on, it's time to get up," my mom said, shaking her shoulder. I leaned against the doorframe and watched as Clary shook her head back and forth, squeezing her eyes shut.

"What time is it?" Clary rolled onto her side so her back was to us and I laughed.

"It's dawn. Time for work!" She sat up so fast my mom almost fell off the bed. I brought my fist to my mouth and bit down so neither of them could hear how funny I found the whole situation. I didn't think my mom would appreciate my humor too much this morning.

"You work this early in the morning? You're kidding right? This is a dream?" Clary looked at me, then my mom, back to me, and then back to my mom, over and over.

"_We, _which includes you, Clary, work at this time _every_ morning. Now, get dressed and come down for breakfast." Clary looked at me like she thought we were joking, but I just grinned and turned to leave.

My mom must have convinced Clary that she was serious, because they came down the ladder a few minutes later. Clary was wearing a pair of brand new shorts and a tank top, and I noticed Sebastian staring at her like an ass. So, I grabbed two plates and walked over to her, grinning when she took the food from me.

"Completely vegetarian," I said and she smiled back.

"Thanks." She sat down and gingerly took a bite, like she thought it might explode or grow legs and walk away. I laughed at the surprised look on her face. "This is really good."

"Just because we live on an island doesn't mean that no one knows how to cook." She shrugged and took another bite. "So," I said reluctantly. "You're coming with me today."

"Oh, okay. Um, what are we doing?" I could hear the uncertainty in her voice, as well as see it in her eyes. And I could tell she didn't want to do this, didn't want to come with me to work. I bit back my irritation and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Do you know how to fish?"

"No."

"Hunt?"

"Nope."

"Do you know how to find what plants or fruit are edible?"

"Uh, no."

"Do you know which herbs are used for medicines?"

She paused for a long time. "No."

"You have a lot to learn," I muttered and she looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry, I'm from the city. I don't eat or kill fish or animals. I have no idea what would determine an edible fruit or plant or whatever. And all my medicines are already premade and packaged."

I sighed. "No big deal." We ate in silence for a few more minutes, and I started wondering what working with her would be like. Would she be helpful and attentive? Would she act like she didn't care? _Did _she care? I couldn't tell. I didn't know her well enough yet, and I couldn't say that idea of getting to know her well enough sounded good to me. The thought of leading her around every day until she was ready to go off by herself wasn't something I was interested in.

"How long is it going to take for me to learn?" Clary asked suddenly, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked down at her and grinned.

"Why? Do you have a date?" I laughed.

"Ha! No, but it is summer vacation where I'm from. I should be relaxing on a beach or watching TV in my pajamas. I should be going to Broadway shows every night. I should be chilling by the pool on a boat the size of an apartment building." Suddenly, the smile was wiped from her face and she pushed her plate away. She wrapped her arms around her body like she was trying to hold herself together, like she was afraid she'd shatter into a million pieces if she loosened her grip.

"What?" I asked.

"Um, nothing. Never mind. Just . . . can we go?" she replied without looking at me. Frustration surged up in me at her refusal to answer my question, but I pushed it aside.

"Sure. I guess." We handed our plates back to Imogen, and I lead Clary into the forest, away from the ocean.

"Uh, you sure you know where you're going? I don't want to get lost in the forest on top of everything else." Her voice was teasing and playful, but I could tell it was a serious question, so I decided to treat it like one.

"Yes, I know exactly where I'm going. Besides, even if I didn't and we got lost, I'd know how to get food and find clean water. No worries." I grinned to reassure her that she really didn't have anything to worry about, but I wasn't sure how well it worked.

"Yeah, sure, okay, no worries," she chanted like she was trying to convince herself. We walked the rest of the way to the river in silence, and I started telling her how to know if the water is clean enough to drink. If the confused expression on her face was any indication, it was going to be a _long _day.

* * *

**Ooh, they're getting along! . . . Sort of. But how long will it last? ;) Read on and find out! Woo!**

**Okay, I have some news. I am going on vacation from August 10th to August 20th, so I won't be able to update in thost ten days. Stupid no wifi zones and road trips . . . Anyway, the point of sharing that little tidbit of information with you almsot a month prior when I'm sure you could care less, is that I have a question. Do you want me to update two chapters the week before I leave? Or more after I come back? Because I will be able to _write _on the trip, but I won't have access to wifi. So it's a guarenteed one extra the week before, or however many extra I finish when I get back. It's up to you, and if you don't care, I'll choose which one depending on my mood the week before I leave :P Just let me know what I should do, and I'll do it. **

**So there's chapter four. Hope you liked it, and I hope you guys continue to be awesome, because I'd be sad if you didn't ;D And the all the reviews and favorites and alerts and stuff just tickle my fancy like no other. **


	5. Hopeless and Heartless

_**{Clary POV}**_

Jonathan –at least I _thought _that was his name- took almost half an hour attempting to teach me how to determine clean drinking water from water that might just kill you if you so much as touched it. When he finished, he stared at me, waiting for me to say something.

"Um . . . huh?" I asked and he exhaled loudly through his nose. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me with narrowed eyes.

"Did you understand anything or do I have to start from the beginning?"

"Um, no. You lost me at the part when you started talking about the bacteria," I said quietly, embarrassed. I used to get straight A's in all of my classes, but, well, this wasn't the kind of stuff I usually learned in high school.

He explained again, but I was so lost my head was spinning.

"Understand?" I nodded so he wouldn't start again, but he stared at me. "Okay, summarize how to determine if water is drinkable." His smile was smug, and it felt like he was making fun of me again. I rubbed at the ache that was radiating out of my temple, wanting nothing more than to go back to the house and sleep for a few days.

"Look, I'm not stupid. But this isn't the kind of stuff I've ever had to learn," I said, the annoyance apparent in my voice.

"Well, you're kind of stuck here so you're going to have to suck it up and deal." Something in his voice seriously pissed me off, and I clenched my teeth together.

"Why the hell do _I _need to learn this shit if you already know it?" I growled. The anger inside me was taking over everything, and, though I wasn't a violent person by any definition, I seriously just wanted to hit him.

"Everyone does their part around here. It's the way it is," he said and I could see his hands clenched into fists by his sides. I resisted the urge to step back, thinking he was going to hit me. "I don't actually give a shit if you didn't do anything by yourself back wherever the hell you came from. I know you probably had people waiting on you, hand and foot. But again, I don't care. Here, you have to learn how to do things yourself." I dropped my hands from my face and stared at him for a few seconds before I turned and walked away.

No one had ever talked to me like that. No one. And I wasn't waited on, hand and foot. I didn't have anyone at home waiting on me. Besides my parents giving me groceries and money for laundry, I did everything myself. I was sixteen, not six, and not sixty.

"Wait, Clary, where are you going?" he sighed, matching pace with me.

"Back." I wouldn't look at him because I was still seething. How dare he talk about me like that? Who the hell did he think he was?

"We weren't done." He was talking slowly, and emphasizing every word like he thought I was five. Or mentally handicapped.

"I am. But feel free to go back and continue," I replied, picking up speed. I'd memorized landmarks on the way from the village to the river, but I ignored them and kept going, knowing I'd get either to the village or to the ocean eventually. Jonathan walked behind me the whole time so I knew I was going the right way and, sure enough, I broke into the clearing with the huge fire pit occupying the center. I kept walking towards the other side of the trees as I heard Jonathan veer away. I slowed my pace and sighed, the anger draining out of me.

Had I actually been acting like I used to be waited on? I never once had any type of servant. It's not really fair for him to judge me like that. I hadn't judged him at all since I woke up. But after thinking about it for a moment, I realized that wasn't true. I'd judged him and his entire way of life at the campfire when I'd said living on the island seemed boring and lonely. But in my defense, I was a city girl through and through, and I was only asking. I hadn't meant to offend or judge him at all.

I sighed again and turned around to walk back to the house to apologize. I'd acted like a baby when I should have just told him that I wasn't getting it, and that I was definitely never waited on. The ladder leading into the tree house was so sturdy that it didn't make a noise as I climbed up, and the boards of the deck barely squeaked as I stepped across them. Jonathan wasn't in the room that I'd been sleeping in, so I continued around the side of the house, along the railing of the deck. I knew I had heard him come this way . . .

"Clary . . ." I heard my name but it didn't sound like they were calling me. More like talking about me. I pushed towards the house and walked carefully on my toes. It was Jonathan's voice.

"Jonathan, you've got to be patient with her." That was Celine's voice. I crept a little faster until I reached a doorway on the other side of the house to my room. I peaked in and saw Jonathan, his back to me, and Celine, sitting on a chair staring up at him.

"Patient? Mom, she's hopeless. She doesn't belong here. I explained how to find clean water, like, three times but she just didn't get it. She doesn't care!" Jonathan said, and my hands clenched into fists by my sides. _Hopeless? Because I didn't understand? _I wondered angrily.

"What do you propose I do then, Jonathan? I don't want to but if she makes you unhappy then I can ask someone else to let her stay with them until we figure something out." Celine sounded calm but I could almost hear something brewing in her voice. And if I, after only knowing her for a few days, could hear it, I knew he could, too. He could probably even understand what she was thinking.

"I don't know, mom. But I don't know if I can teach her anything. How can I teach her if she doesn't want to learn? What do I do when she doesn't care?" I sighed and rolled my eyes at how dramatic he was being.

"Be _patient, _Jonathan. She's not from here. What would you do if you wound up in the city somewhere? Wouldn't learning how to work there make it seem like you were never coming back?" Celine said and I nodded quietly. _Yeah, asshole. How would you feel if you were me?_ I growled in my head.

There was a pause before Jonathan answered again. "Yeah, I guess," he said grudgingly. "But, jeez, she could be a little more mature about it. I mean, I said something and she just stormed off." I gritted my teeth and resisted the urge to scream. He must not have realized that he had _judged me to my face._ That's why I walked away. _So I wouldn't punch you right in that big mouth of yours_, I thought. I was so tempted to jump in the room and defend myself, but I forced myself to stay where I was. I wanted to hear the rest of the conversation so I could know exactly what I was defending myself _against. _I wanted to know the shit this asshole said about me behind my back.

"What'd you say?" Celine asked, and I could hear it in her voice that she knew she wasn't going to like his answer.

"I don't know. Something about her having to learn it because she was kind of stuck here for a while." Celine sighed.

"Don't you see why that would upset her? She doesn't want to be here, Jonathan, and you pretty much just told her that it didn't matter what she wants." I smiled sadly. She was right: I really, _really _didn't want to be there. I missed my life. I missed my home and my parents and my friends. And I missed my guitar.

"Yeah, I get it. Doesn't mean I have to like it," Jonathan grumbled. I scoffed to myself. It was unbelievable that he'd called _me _immature, and then ran off to tell his mother on me. I giggled to myself at the absurdity of it all. "But, jeez, mom, she's insufferable. I wonder if her parents got sick of her. Maybe that's why she's here. They probably kicked her out of the house." The laughter died in my throat and I sucked in a shocked breath . . . _loudly. _Celine looked up and saw me standing in the doorway, and her expression was already apologetic. By the time Jonathan turned around to see what caught his mom's attention, I was gone, flying down the ladder and towards the beach, tears stinging at my eyes.

"Clary, wait!" Jonathan shouted, running after me. A sob broke up my throat as I pushed myself faster, and the sounds of his steps fell farther and farther behind until they disappeared completely. _I can't believe he said that_, I chanted in my head, over and over again. I mean, I knew he didn't like me. That much was obvious; it's not like he tried to hide it. But I didn't know he hated me enough to say something like that, even if I hadn't been listening. I'd never met anyone so heartless.

I broke out of the trees and onto the beach, but I didn't stop running until I reached the rocks. They were hot under my feet but I stayed standing up, my hands clenched into fists by my sides and my chest heaving from the exertion of sprinting and sobbing at the same time. I'd kicked off my shoes as I tiptoed around the deck, and I'd been too angry to remember to put them back on. Tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to get my breath back.

"Clary, wait!" Jonathan gasped again, coming up behind me. He doubled over and put his hands on his knees. "Jeez, you're fast." I ignored him and continued looking out over the water. It was almost embarrassing to be crying in front of him like this, but I couldn't make myself stop. The wall I'd built to block out my emotions had crumbled and everything came bursting out like an unstoppable force of nature. The only thing I could control anymore was whether or not I drowned in it. And even that was taking all the willpower I had.

"Look, I-," he said after a long pause. Suddenly, I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't stand there and listen to him make excuses for saying something so heartless. I spun around to face him and stalked forward.

"You think I don't know I don't belong here?" I shouted through my tears, stopping right in front of him, so close our faces were only about a foot apart. He was a few inches taller and a lot stronger than me, but I glared at him anyway, too pissed off to care. I almost wanted him to attack me, to end the misery. Or to give me a reason to punch him. I had a feeling either one would make me feel better.

"But I-." I cut him off again.

"No! _Shut up_! I know I don't belong here! I never will!" My voice cracked, so I stopped yelling, hoping to calm down a little. I was making a fool of myself and I didn't want to give him anything else about me to complain about. Maybe Celine really would kick me out if I pissed him off enough. Then where would I go? Who would help me get home? "But the thing is . . . I don't want to belong here. My friends and my parents and my _life _are all back in New York. But, too bad, I'm stuck here. I don't like it. In fact, I _hate_ it! And you obviously don't like it either. I mean, you've made that _perfectly_ clear. But again, I'm _stuck here_! And if you're going to be a dickhead and say stuff like you just said to your mom, then I'd rather you kill me now." I wiped at my face with the sleeve of the t-shirt Celine had given me and I heard Jonathan sigh.

"I was angry. I didn't mean it."

"I don't care. But if we're at each other's throats all the time . . ." I turned to look out over the water again and Jonathan stepped up beside me.

"I'm sorry. I just . . . don't like change." I snorted and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Really? I couldn't tell," I said sarcastically. He didn't answer and I took a deep breath, swallowing back more tears. I realized I was still extremely mad at him for what he said, but I didn't see the point in fighting. I was stuck in a situation where I'd be seeing him every day, all day. So, I figured I might as well try to let it go . . . but it didn't take me long to realize I couldn't. Not after what he'd said. Not after he could be so cruel.

"My mom wanted to talk to you," he said suddenly and I turned without a word. I didn't hear him behind me as I walked back to the village. I'd left a pretty noticeable trail through the brush when I'd pounded through, so I was back at the village within five minutes and I climbed the ladder slowly.

Celine was in the room she'd been in when I'd heard Jonathan talk about my parents, and I knocked quietly on the wooden doorframe. "Oh, Clary. You don't have to knock," she said sadly, patting the spot on the bed next to her. I didn't pay attention to anything but my feet as I sat down and crossed my hands in my lap. "I'm sorry you heard that."

"It's okay," I murmured, tears welling in my eyes again. Celine was so gentle, so motherly, that it made me want to bawl like a baby. It made me miss _my _mother, who'd taken care of me when I was sick and who'd kissed my injuries and who'd held me close when I cried. She'd always been there for me, but now when I needed her most, she was ripped away from me.

"No, it's not, honey. I know how you felt before he said it, but I can only imagine how you feel now." She rested her hand on my back comfortingly as tears dripped into my loosely curled hands. "I'm so sorry, Clarissa." Her voice sounded like she could feel my pain and I leaned into her, letting her wrap her arms around my shoulders as I cried into her neck.

I pulled away a few minutes later and grinned sadly when she handed me what looked like a handkerchief. "Thank you," I sniffed.

"You're welcome."

"It's just hard. I mean, I never told you how I ended up here, did I?" I asked. Celine shook her head and handed me another handkerchief. I noticed they were even softer than the tissue I'd used back in New York, so I pressed it against my face. "Well, it was the sixth. My sixteenth birthday." My voice caught on a sob, but I choked it back and continued with the story, declining another handkerchief when Celine offered it. "My parents brought me on a three week cruise and threw me a surprise party. That's why I was wearing the dress. Well, there was this bellhop who, I guess, kind of liked me. And after the party, I stayed on the deck of the ship to just relax, you know? Alone. Well, he followed me, so I hid in one of the little life boats hanging off the side. He found me and tried to climb in and he pushed the button that sent me into the water, and I had nothing to help me get back to the ship."

"But didn't he tell someone?" she asked, shocked. I shook my head and swallowed hard.

"No," I sobbed, holding the soft cloth against my eyes. The first one she'd given me was already soaked through. "He said he didn't want to get fired." She gasped and put her arm around my shoulders again, pulling me into her chest. I knew I should, but I couldn't bring myself to pull away from her comforting embrace.

"Oh, hun, I'm so sorry." I nodded, unable to answer. "Can you tell me how you cut yourself? Do you remember?"

"That was my fault," I giggled through my tears. It felt good to laugh at something, even if I was laughing at myself. But what I did to cut myself was stupid, and I wasn't afraid to admit that I knew that. "I was, um, trying to stand on the boat. I tripped and cut my shoulder on the corner of a metal box filled with food and water."

"But you were dehydrated and malnourished." She tilted her head to the side, looking confused, and I smiled softly at her.

"Yeah, the box fell overboard when my shoulder hit it. Plus, I was knocked out the whole time I was on the boat, so I couldn't have eaten anything anyway." I laughed again and Celine smiled. Her smile was kind and understanding and I resisted the urge to hug her.

"You were unconscious the entire time?"

"Yeah, shocking, huh?" She nodded and rubbed my back again.

"I know what Jonathan said hurt you, Clarissa." To be honest, I liked it when she said my full name. It made it sound like she thought of me as a daughter, or at least someone deserving of her care. I knew it wasn't possible, but it felt good all the same. "And I give you my full permission to punch him for it. But you are always welcome here. I know you don't _want_ to be here," she said.

"No, I-," I cut in, feeling bad.

"No, it's okay. I understand. I know you don't want to be here, but you have a place to stay while you are. And I promise to do everything in my power to help you get back home to where you do want to be." I didn't resist it anymore: I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her to me. How could Jonathan be related to this woman when he was so cruel? They were complete opposites. I doubted Celine could ever hurt a fly unless she felt she needed to. Helping people is in her job description and I knew they couldn't have picked anyone better for the job. "And if you ever want someone to talk to, I'm always here for you." I tightened my arms around her waist and she patted my back, her chin resting on my head.

"Thank you, Celine. Thank you so much," I whispered before I pulled away. I finally looked around the room and noticed that it looked a lot like the one I'd been sleeping in. But when my eyes landed on something sleek and shiny I hadn't noticed before, I gasped. "Oh my God, it's gorgeous!" I jumped off the bed and dropped onto my knees by the beautiful acoustic guitar propped against the wall in the corner of the room. I ran my finger along the neck and strings and smiled at the familiarity of a guitar under my fingers.

"Thank you. It was my husband's. Do you play?" Celine asked, stepping up behind me. I shrugged.

"May I?" She nodded and I picked up the guitar, slinging the strap over my shoulder. I tuned it before I played a few cords, my lips pulling into a smile.

"Do you like it?" Celine asked and I nodded as I continued to play, my fingers moving swiftly over the strings. "It's yours." My fingers stilled and my eyes snapped open.

"Oh no, I couldn't ask for that. It's your husband's." She reached out and put her hand on my shoulder when I moved to take off the strap.

"Will it make you feel better? Will it ease your homesickness until we can get you home?" I hesitated. "Will it?" I found that, even though I didn't want to take anything more from her, I couldn't lie. Not to Celine.

"Yeah," I admitted, looking down at the gorgeous mahogany wood. "Yeah, it would."

"Then, it's yours. I'll take it back before you leave." I smiled and stood up to hug her again, slinging the guitar behind my back.

"Thanks again. It means a lot." She nodded and I walked to my room to practice the guitar, figuring I could practice for when I finally became a Broadway star. Because with Celine helping me, I knew I'd get home eventually.

* * *

**Oops, I guess it didn't last very long at all, did it? But come on. You had to know that Jace was going to be a dick eventually, right? It was only to be expected ;D**

**Sorry, guys, but I'm almost positive there will only be one chapter this week. For the next three days, I work almost nonstop. Then, on Thursday morning, I'm going out of town with my friend and her family, and we're not coming back until Sunday night. So there will most likely not be another update for this story until next Monday. I'll try my best to write when I can, but I honestly can't promise anything. Sorry :( **

**Anyway ... Woo! Chapter five! Let me know what you think?**


	6. Talk To Me

_**{Jace POV}**_

Clary didn't speak to me for the next five days. I'd stayed at the beach for about an hour after she left to talk to my mom, feeling guilty. It was hard to believe I'd said something so mean; I'd just been _so angry_. And if I had any idea she was standing there, I wouldn't have even thought of saying it. It wasn't like me. Clary was the only person who had ever brought out my anger like that.

She continued going out to do my chores with me and she listened while I explained things, but she never said a word. She didn't glare at me or throw me dirty looks . . . it was just like she was mute. And I was totally fine with it. I mean, I did deserve it. What I'd said had been cruel and evil and she had every right to be mad at me. At first, I almost expected her to punch me. But on the rocks at the beach, she'd just talked to me. Well, at first she yelled, but she'd calmed down and talked normally way before I expected her to.

But I'd never been good with tears. Honestly, they scared the crap out of me. Ever since I watched my mom cry for months after my dad left, I couldn't handle them. Especially from those intense green, deep eyes Clary has. It was . . . terrifying, yet . . . mesmerizing. As I stared into her eyes, it was like getting lost at sea during a storm, like feeling an endless pain while falling into a never ending, pitch-black abyss. Scary. As. Hell.

And she hadn't said a word since. Well, to me she hadn't. I'd heard her talking to my mom and she seemed to be getting used to life around the island. She was starting to seem happier, and more comfortable with our lifestyle.

The first day Clary talked to me again was Sunday; the day the village threw a party to celebrate the beginning of a new week. It was the only night that the little kids got to stay up past nine o'clock and eat with everyone else. On Monday through Saturday, they ate dinner at six and were asleep by nine. The parties consisted of music and dancing and laughing. No one went to sleep before midnight and chores the next day didn't have to be done at dawn. Everyone decided to do them at sunrise anyway because everyone was used to it, so it was almost wired into everyone's brains, but it wasn't required like every other day.

I sat by the fire and listened to the music. My father had been the guitar player, so when he left, the 'band' only had a bongo drum, a wood flute (weird, I know) and voices. Clary was sitting on a chair across the pit from me, staring into the fire with her knees brought to her chest and her arms wrapped around her shins. I could see the flames dancing against her colorful eyes.

"Dude, why haven't you introduced me to your girl yet?" Sebastian asked, stepping up behind me. I looked at Clary again and sighed. I'd actually been avoiding Sebastian since the last time we'd talked. He'd never let me live it down if he knew Clary hadn't even said a word to me for almost a week.

"She's not my girl," I said, handing him my plate before he could ask. He always finished my food, whether I wanted him to or not, so I always grabbed extra.

"Why the hell not? Dude, she's hot and you know she's single. She's probably lonely. She's yours for the taking . . . or mine." He waggled his eyebrows at me like the creep he was.

"Knock yourself out," I heard myself say. I hadn't even thought about it . . . it just popped out of my mouth.

"Introduce me." Sebastian grabbed my arm and tried to haul me off the chair, but I punched him in the stomach. I'd always been stronger than him, and he knew it. But he refused to admit it. "Dude, come on, I want to meet her."

"Go meet her, then." I waved my hands in her direction and went back to staring at the fire.

"I need a wing man and none of these other guys are as smooth as me. And plus, you already know her. You can put in a good word."

"I don't know her." Again, the words just popped out of my mouth.

"What do you mean? Isn't she staying at your house?" Sebastian asked, confused. I nodded.

"Yeah, but I don't really know her. I don't know anything about her." I really needed to stop talking before Sebastian punched me for sounding like a pussy.

"Who cares? You need to learn my motto: 'all that matters is what's underneath the clothes.'" I snorted and shook my head. He thought he was so clever.

"You're a sick man, you know that?"

"Thanks. Now, come with me so I can talk to her." I sighed and followed him around the fire and up to Clary, who looked up at him confusedly. He stared at her, a small smile on his face. I sighed again and introduced him. "Clary, this is my friend Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Clary."

Her eyes flicked to me and away and I could have sworn I saw her hide a smile. "Nice to meet you," Sebastian said, attempting to make his voice sound deeper than it naturally was. I coughed to hide my laugh and Sebastian threw an elbow back into my stomach before he held his hand out to Clary. She placed her hand in his and he brought her knuckles to his lips, and I looked away so Clary wouldn't see my grin.

"Hi there," Clary said and it sounded like a purr. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried to force my lips to stop pulling up at the corners. I wasn't sure how successful I was.

"Sebastian!" The shout came from only a few feet away, but almost everyone looked up to see Kaelie stalking forward. She grabbed Seb's arm and yanked it away from Clary, like it was somehow her fault. "Who the hell are you?" she shouted. I peaked at Clary, surprised that she was smiling amusedly.

"I'm Clary." She held her hand out to Kaelie, who glared at it like it was covered in a disease.

"Well, Clary, this is my boyfriend Sebastian. Stay _away._" Kaelie stalked off again, dragging Seb behind her, and I laughed at his terrified expression. I heard Clary join in and I smiled down at her, forgetting everything that happened before.

"Sorry about that. She's a bit, um, possessive." Clary snorted and looked at the fire again.

"Understatement. Though I kind of noticed . . . nah, never mind."

"What?" She grinned and shook her head, so I grabbed a chair and sat down next to her. "No, you have to tell me. What?" I insisted.

"Nothing. Forget it. I'm probably wrong." But something in her voice told me she was sure that she wasn't.

"Just tell me." She met my gaze and her eyes seemed to smolder in the light from the fire. I couldn't figure out what it was, but something about them made me want to lean forward to be closer to her.

"Seems like she was more into you than Sebastian." I sat back in my chair, stunned. How had she known that? Kaelie had been after me since forever, and she'd only agreed to go out with Seb when I rejected her for the twentieth time.

"What makes you think that?" I asked. She leaned forward in her seat and grinned at me again. I couldn't keep myself from smiling back.

"I am a _master _at reading body language. Her body had leaned towards you, and she was always indirectly looking at you, _and_ when she pulled Sebastian's arm, she stepped closer to you. She was trying to make it seem accidental, but I could tell she did it on purpose." I stared at her in amazement.

"You got all that during a thirty second conversation?" I asked in shock.

"Oh yeah. I could tell something else, too," she said, leaning back again. Her expression was smug and confident, and my curiosity shot up again.

"What?"

"Really want to know?" I nodded. "She's not really mad at Sebastian. She sees this as a way to get Sebastian off her back. Sees _me _as a way to get Sebastian off her back. So, then she can get to you," she said, a laugh in her voice. I looked into the forest where they'd disappeared.

"What about Sebastian? What'd you . . . _read_ from him?" I'd never heard of anyone knowing so much by somebody's body language, and it was actually sort of cool.

"I don't think he's interested in me," she said and I snorted. Apparently it wasn't always accurate.

"Oh, he's interested in you. Trust me." She turned her body towards me a tilted her head to the side.

"Oh yeah? Then, why did his eyes keep flicking towards you while he _pretended _to kiss my hand?" I thought about it for a second and something disturbing flashed through my head.

"Oh my God, are you saying he's interested in _me_?" I asked disgustedly. Not that I had anything against gay people, but to know I'd grown up with him and he was chasing after me the whole time . . . gross. Clary started laughing, almost falling backward off her chair.

"No, you idiot! He's not interested in you," she laughed. It was my turn to tilt my head to the side. I was totally lost in this conversation.

"Then, what did his body language, or whatever, tell you?" She stopped laughing and leaned back in her chair.

"Nothing." Her eyes flicked to me and away and I shook my head. Something in her voice told me not to push it, so I stared into the fire. "Look, about this past week . . ." she said and I grinned.

"Mm?" I encouraged. I was wondering what she would say after not talking to me for almost a week.

"Sorry about the whole not talking to you thing. I was just pissed off."

"No big deal. I deserved it," I admitted. She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. "Okay," I sighed. "I deserved more than that. I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean it."

"Yes, you did," she murmured but her voice didn't sound accusing or even upset anymore. She sounded like she was merely stating a fact. But I still felt awful for what she'd heard me say.

"No, I really didn't."

"Yeah, you did but that's okay. It's only because you don't know the real story; you don't know me." I didn't answer for a few minutes as I looked up at the sky. Smoke and small, smoldering ash floated high above us into the pitch black sky. The stars winked at us, and I identified a few constellations to myself before I spoke again.

"Are you ever going to tell me the real story?" I wondered.

"Depends," she replied.

"On what?"

"What you tell me." With that, she stood up and went up to the house, pulling the sweatshirt my mom had had made for her tighter around her body. I continued staring at the sky as I thought about what she said. What would she want me to tell her? I mean, it's not like I could have done anything that exciting in her opinion since I'd lived on the island my entire life. There wasn't much she could possibly want to know about me.

"Dude, that was intense . . ." I looked up to see Sebastian standing behind me with a goofy looking smile on his face, like he'd just woken up or something.

"What happened? Did she break up with you?" I asked as he sat in the chair Clary had occupied only a few minutes earlier. He turned towards me and grinned again.

"No. It was amazing." I looked towards the fire, knowing he was going to give me the details about his time in the woods with Kaelie. He went on to tell me about what she'd done with her hands and her body while I tried to block him out, getting more and more grossed out with every words he said. "God, I should talk to other girls more often, man."

"Yeah, good luck with that," I laughed. All the other girls our age on this island thought Sebastian was a pig . . . probably because he was one.

"What? Oh, you think it's only Clary?" I thought about it, and shrugged after a moment.

"Maybe. Or I might just think that for your little plan to work, girls would have to talk to you, too." He raised his eyebrow and I laughed. "Sorry to break it to you, dude, but most of the girls on this island _won't_ talk to you."

"Why?" he asked, looking around the campfire at the other six girls that were our age since Kaelie and Isabelle weren't around. The village was a small one, with only about sixty people. There were three people older than seventy who barely came down from their houses, ten people older than fifty (my mom included), about twenty people between twenty-five and forty-nine, seven guys and eight girls from fifteen to twenty-five (Sebastian and I included), and thirteen kids younger than fifteen.

"Because you're inappropriate. You talk to them like they're 'pieces of meat', Seb," I said, quoting Emily when Sebastian had said she had a 'coke-bottle-figure that he'd like to suck dry'. The only time he'd ever seen a coke bottle is when they washed up onto the beach from the ocean, but he'd been using that line since we saw the first one when we were twelve. And from then on, every girl our age on this island has slapped him at least once. At least.

"Ha! Isn't that what Emily said that one day?" he asked and I nodded. I couldn't believe he was laughing about it. No, I could believe it, but only because it was him. But he thought there was something wrong with me because I _hadn't _gotten slapped. Not once.

I suddenly froze, thinking of Clary slapping Sebastian. Just the thought made me laugh. I could picture her pulling her arm back and cracking him across the face, leaving a tiny handprint across his cheek. "What?" Seb asked but I shook my head, laughing too hard to answer. "Dude, chill. If you die, then who's going to be my wingman the next time I see Clary?" I laughed harder and Sebastian punched me hard in the arm before he got up and stalked away. Woops.

I sat by the fire for a few minutes more before I walked around to search for my mom. When I saw her, she was leaning against a table, talking to the village's carpenter, Robert. "Night, mom," I said, kissing her on the cheek. She nodded at me and I climbed up the ladder to go into the room my mom and I shared since Clary took my old room. I curled up on the floor and fell asleep with a smile on my face, still imagining Clary slapping Sebastian.

* * *

**Hehe, don't you wish Clary would slap Sebastian? I don't know about you, but I think it'd be pretty funny ;D It's not like he doesn't deserve it, haha. **

**So, it was brought to my attention that I put 'Patty' instead of 'Celine' in chapter five . . . Sorry, guys. I guess that's what I get for listening to my mom talk about her coworkers while I'm writing. And what's really sad is that I reread that chapter _multiple _times before I posted it, and missed it _every. Single. Time. _Wow, right? Anyway, I fixed it. But I do appreciate it when people let me know about these mistakes, because then I can fix them and prevent further confusion. So thanks for helping me out :D**

**Well, I'm back from my little mini vacation. I wrote this chapter while we were there, and I was really excited to get home and post it yesterday. But, of course, I get home at 12:30, only to find out that I had to work at 2. It was absolutely miserable, and I almost cried. I was so tired. But I'm posting it now, so do you forgive me? Please? :) **

**P.S. All these reviews are so amazing, and make me super, super happy. They boost my ego to epic proportions whenever I read one ;D So much so, that I actually _finally_ let my best friend read it! We were sitting in the car, just hanging out, and I started telling her about it, and when she asked if she could read it, I thought, 'well, so far it's getting a pretty positive response, so why the hell not?' And I let her read it! And she said she really liked it! So, thanks to all of you, I finally gained the confidence to show my best friend my story, and it paid off. Thank you so much. You are amazing and I love all of you. **


	7. Wager With A Monkey

_**{Clary POV}**_

The guitar became my obsession. I had always _loved _playing it back home, but it was the only thing I could do on the island. So, every day after the chores for the day were finished and after I silently turned down Jonathan's offer to introduce me to his friends, I sat in my room and practiced. I played the songs I remembered from New York, the ones I'd spent hours on memorizing and then hours more on practicing. By the time I was done each day, my fingers had been red and raw from the strings. Now, though, my fingers were used to it and I barely had to think at all as they moved across the neck and cords. Playing the guitar was like my release, my doorway back to New York and my old life.

But as soon as I put it down, I'd remember where I was and want to pick it up all over again. I did everything Celine told me to do (which wasn't much), I ate dinner with the entire village every night, and I didn't fight with Jonathan. After everything I'd heard him saying, I couldn't bring myself to speak to him at all until the party that Celine had told me was to celebrate the beginning of a new week or something. There had been music and dancing and lots of laughing, and it almost seemed like a normal bonfire in a backyard instead of in the middle of a forest on an island in the middle of nowhere. The party had actually put me in a good mood.

I giggled, thinking about Jonathan's face when I'd told him about what that girl's body language had told me. If his facial expressions were any indication, I was totally right about her being after him. I couldn't help but feel a little smug. In New York, everyone learned how to read people quickly and accurately, to protect themselves from everyone else. Not everyone has honorable intentions.

But when Sebastian had taken my hand, he only pretended to kiss it while his eyes flicked at Jonathan again and again. If I was right –which I usually was-, that would mean he was trying to set me up with Jonathan. He would learn pretty quickly that that was a complete impossibility and wouldn't happen. Ever.

Not that Jonathan wasn't cute, because he totally was. Gorgeous, even. He had longish, curly golden hair that fell in his face, and of course those beautiful amber eyes that were the first thing I could remember seeing on the island. But thinking about that also made me remember the sheet falling away from my completely naked body, and then Jonathan's eyes scanning from my shoulders to my hips, his lips slightly parted. I shook off the thought. Neither of us had brought it up, and I sincerely hoped he'd forgotten about that. No guy (besides my dad when I was a baby) had ever seen my naked body, and I planned to keep it that way. Just until I felt that I was really ready to change that status. Which, in fact, probably wouldn't ever happen since was stuck on the island. _Oh, well, _I thought.

Jonathan was not my type. And nothing would make me change my mind, period, the end.

The sun rising woke me up and I stretched my arms over my head, almost used to waking up at dawn on a daily basis. I went over to the calendar Celine had made for me out of leaves and charcoal from the fire that was hanging on the wall, and looked at the date. It was the twenty fifth, nineteen days after my birthday and nine days since I'd woken up on the island. To me, it felt like one million and nine.

"Clary, are you awake?" Jonathan knocked on the doorframe and I sighed.

"Yeah, hang on. Let me change." I heard him move away from the door and I hurried to put on the clothes Celine had gotten made for me. Despite what I'd originally believed, they were actually kind of cute. Had I seen them in a store in New York, I might have bought one of the outfits. And at my request, she had my dress sewn back up, and I ran my hand over the fabric, missing my parents.

I climbed down the ladder and rubbed at my arms with my palms. "Jeez, it's cold." My arms and legs were covered in goose bumps and my teeth were chattering.

"Yeah, it's going to rain soon. Did my mom give you a jacket?" Jonathan asked, smiling softly at me.

"No." I bit my lip and shook my head. I didn't want to ask Celine for anything else.

"Hang on, I'll go get one of mine for you." I smiled at him and he climbed up the ladder, coming back down a few moments later with a thick pull-over jacket in his hands. I pulled it over my head and immediately felt warmer.

"Thank you. That's better." He smiled again and I couldn't help but grin back.

"You're welcome. Ready to go?" I nodded and followed him out of the clearing, smiling at everyone we passed. Everyone was wearing a jacket like the one Jonathan had let me borrow and I made a mental note to –politely- ask Celine if I could get one. It was extremely comfortable and warm, and I would find some way to make it up to her. We walked in silence until we reached the river. I'd learned how to determine if water was drinkable, and today we were looking for edible fruits.

"You know, I've been wondering . . . how did this whole village end up on the island?" I asked randomly, picking a bright red, oddly shaped fruit off a tree. Jonathan shook his head at me and I tossed it to the side.

"Well, same way you showed up here actually. Except it was a group of two hundred people and a much bigger boat. It crashed onto the rocks during a hurricane and they built a village after failing to get home. So, generation after generation has lived here without even attempting to leave. It's peaceful, and we all prefer it that way." I looked down at my hands, a surge of guilt suddenly shooting through me.

"And I screwed that up, didn't I?" I asked quietly. Jonathan looked up at me in surprise and shook his head.

"Nah, we needed a tiny bit of excitement." I giggled, appreciating the effort he was using to try to make up for what he'd said about my parents. "And it's not like it's your fault, right? You didn't ask to be here. Speaking of . . . are you ever going to tell me how _you _ended up here?"

"Maybe someday," I sighed. "When it stops pissing me off so much." I heard him laugh and I grabbed a long orange fruit off a tree, dropping it in the basket Celine had given me when he nodded. "Does this precious little island have a name?" He laughed again and tossed another fruit into my basket.

"It's not that small, Clary. Actually, its ten square miles. The beach is only two miles long and it's cut off by the ocean on one side, the rocks on another, and forest on the others." I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him.

"Fine. Does this precious not-so-little island have a name?"

He snorted. "Yeah, it's Okkar Eyja." I didn't say anything, waiting for more. He sighed and grabbed the basket from my hand as we walked farther into the forest. "It's Icelandic for 'Our Island'."

"Hm, Okkar Eyja?" I repeated and he nodded. "I like it. Do you speak Icelandic?" He grinned and shrugged.

"Nope, no one here does. It's just a name passed down from the first people who settled here." I thought about it for a second, tilting my head to the side and twirling a piece of hair from my ponytail around my finger.

"So, no one here has ever seen city lights? Or a production in a movie theatre? Or a live concert, being pushed around and deafened by thousands of screaming people?" I asked, shocked that they were willing to miss so much.

"No, but that's why my mom was so excited about you being here. She wants to know about life off the island." I sighed and looked off into the trees. That explained so much. But, obviously, I'd be happy to tell her all about all the things there are to experience back home in New York. "So, what are we missing?"

"What?" I'd been distracted, thinking of the things I'd been hoping to do before I died that would probably never happen. Like I'd always wanted to learn to ride a horse and go bungee jumping and rock climbing and skydiving.

"What is there to do off the island? Like, what are your favorite things to do?" I looked down at my feet for a moment, and when I looked up again, he was gone. I spun around in a panic, thinking he'd left me in the middle of the forest with no idea how to get back.

"Jonathan?" I called and I heard a laugh.

"I'm up here. Oh, and by the way, call me Jace. Only my mom calls me Jonathan." I looked up into the trees to see him climbing higher and higher until I could barely see him through the thick vegetation.

"Holy hell! Are you insane? You're going to get yourself killed!" I yelled and he laughed again, poking his head through a hole in the branches. I looked closer, and noticed he was hanging upside down, his legs wrapped around a thick branch at his knees. "Oh my God, you a_re_ going to get yourself killed!" I shouted again.

"Are you kidding me? I've been climbing trees all my life." His head disappeared again and I heard him climbing back down. Suddenly, he dropped to the ground from almost five feet above my head, which meant it was almost an eleven foot drop.

"You're going to break your ankle. Or neck. You know, I never pegged you as suicidal." He shook his head and laughed at me again.

"Nah, climbing trees is as easy as swimming. Want to try?" My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. He grinned at my expression.

"Hell no! You might not believe you're going to kill yourself, but I _know _I'll kill _myself._ And despite all I've lived through in the past month, I'm not ready to die just yet."

He snorted and held out his hand. "Come on, don't be a coward." I bit my lip and stepped away from him. I held my hands out in front of me and shook my head, over and over, just to get my point across that there was _no way in hell _I was going to do that.

"You're crazy. You're seriously insane! I don't think I trust your judgment on fresh water and edible fruit anymore." He laughed and moved towards me, his hand still outstretched.

"Come on. I won't let you fall. Trust me." I shook my head again and moved back until I was pressed against a tree thin enough for me to reach all the way around it and clasp my hands behind it. "It's not hard. You just have to find the thickest branches and only step on those. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't stop me from falling. You'd definitely lose against gravity."

"You're just going to have to trust me because I'm not taking you back until you climb a tree. And it's going to rain soon so we'll want to be heading back within the hour." I turned to look behind me, and then I scanned the trees around me. It didn't take me long to realize that I wouldn't even know which way to go to get back without him.

"B-b-but," I tried to protest, my teeth chattering from the cold that was seeping through the trees and my jacket.

"Nope, you have no choice. Climb a tree or stay out here in the cold rain and get hypothermia."

"You're trying to get me killed," I accused him and he just grinned, holding his hand closer to my own. I looked down at it and then back at his face before I pressed my palm against his. "If I die, I swear I'll haunt you until the end of time," I growled as he led me over to the tree he'd climbed earlier.

"Ghosts don't scare me." I snorted and smiled evilly at him.

"Oh, I'll scare you, all right. I'll pop out when you least expect it. Believe me, you'll be terrified." He put his hands on my shoulders and spun me around so I was facing the tree.

"Okay, which branch do you think you should use as your handhold?" I pointed at a thick branch that was just above my head and he nodded. "Now, wrap your arms around that and pull yourself onto it." I shook my head and backed away, right into him. "It's not that scary, Clary. Just try it."

"What do I get in return? What's in it for me?" I wondered, trying to move back farther as I stalled him. His fingers tightened slightly on my shoulders and he pushed me forward.

"The knowledge of the skillful art of tree climbing." I snorted and shook my head, fighting against his hands. But, damn it, he was _strong. _"Fine, what do you want?"

"What can you offer me?" I giggled, glad that my stalling was working.

"What do you want?" He sounded nervous and I turned to face him, a mischievous smile on my face. Because he'd been pushing me forward towards the tree, we were so close our chests were almost touching.

"You have to ask that girl out on a date," I said and he tilted his head to the side.

"Kaelie? She's Sebastian's girlfriend."

"So? I didn't say you had to sleep with her or anything! But if you want me to climb this damn tree, you have to ask her tonight at dinner." He narrowed his eyes at me and I grinned.

"Fine, I'll do it . . . if," he said and I shook my head.

"You can't add anything! That's not fair!"

"But I'm going to, anyway. I'll do it if you go on a date with Sebastian." I crossed my arms over my chest, accidently brushing his chest with my fingertips.

"You see, the thing is, Kaelie -or whatever her name is- likes you. Sebastian doesn't like me." It was his turn to grin at me.

"We'll see. Is it a deal?" I thought about it for a short moment before I shook his hand.

"Deal. Now how do I climb this God forsaken tree?" I turned back around and wrapped my arms around the branch, holding my breath. Jace grabbed my waist and lifted me onto it, ignoring my shocked gasp. "Now what?" I asked breathlessly.

"Turn and look for another branch you think is strong enough." I slowly did as he asked and found another one that would hold my weight. I pointed at it and he nodded. "Do the same thing."

I was about seven feet off the ground with Jace on the branch below me when I made the mistake of looking down. If I hadn't been so scared, I would have laughed at his expression when I screamed at the top of my lungs. I wrapped my arms around the trunk of the tree and squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could, trying not to scream again. "It's okay, Clary," Jace murmured, climbing onto the branch with me. It bounced under my feet and I bit my lip to keep from crying out in fear. "You're okay." I felt him put one of his hands on my lower back and the other on my shoulder, and he tried to coax me away from the trunk of the tree.

"Holy crap, holy crap, what the hell, I'm going to die," I chanted, digging my fingers into the bark.

"Hey, Clary, it's okay. Come on, I got you." He tugged my arms away from the tree and I screamed. Instinct somehow made me spin around and grab onto Jace for dear life. I grabbed the collar of his jacket in my fists and buried my face in his chest so I couldn't look down again. "Whoa!" My quick movement made us both stumble back against the trunk of the tree, so I was sandwiched by his body against the rough bark. It was the most stable I'd felt since he lifted me onto the first branch.

"Don't let me fall," I begged, holding him tighter.

"I won't. I got you. You're okay." The movement of his chest as he breathed somehow made me feel more comfortable, and my own breathing calmed down. My tense muscles relaxed and I loosened my grip on him, just slightly. "You okay now?" I nodded against his chest, my eyes still clamped shut. "Want to climb back down?"

"No, I'll be fine. I was never afraid of heights before and I need to get over it again." I pushed him gently away, making sure he didn't fall, and turned back to face the tree. "Bring it on, nature," I mumbled to myself and Jace laughed behind me.

Without looking down, I climbed up another five feet, Jace right behind me the whole time, murmuring things to make me feel less like I was about to die. It worked, but just barely. Finally, when the first drops of rain splattered the leaves above us, we climbed down. Jace was standing on the ground and I was a few branches above him when I got eager and cocky. I wanted to be off the tree and I thought since I climbed up without that many problems, I could easily climb down without holding onto the branch with both hands. The rain picked up and I used one hand to try to climb down. Of course, I lost my grip and fell, scraping my leg from my foot to my knee. Because he'd been trying to help me down, I landed on Jace, my knee in his hip and my arms on either side of his head. I blinked the rain out of my eyes, and looked at Jace as he stared up at me in shock.

I rolled off of him and stayed on my back, staring at the sky as rain splatter my face. "Are you okay?" Jace asked, sitting up next to me. That's when I started giggling. The scratch on my leg was only a welt; the branch hadn't even broken the skin. But I'd landed on top of him from a few feet off the ground and _he_ was asking if _I_ was okay. My giggling turned into hysterical laughing and I sat up, holding my sides as tears ran down my cheeks. "Are you okay?" he asked again and I could hear a smile in his voice. I nodded, unable to speak.

The rain picked up and we didn't move or speak until we were both soaked. Jace stood up and held out his hand so he could help me to my feet. "Thanks," I murmured, wiping the mud off my hands. "So," I started as Jace led me back through the forest. "You have to ask Kaelie out."

* * *

**Jace and his clever, clever ways of trying to kill Clary :) And I don't know about you, but I'd climb a tree with him _any_day. **

**I was just wondering . . . Is that ending right there considered a cliffie, perhaps? ;) Anyway, I've already almost finished chapter eight, and I'm hoping to post in on Saturday or so. Keep reviewing because it makes me smile, and I hope you liked chapter 7! **


	8. Unexpected Discovery

_**{Jace POV}**_

"Yeah, and you have to ask Sebastian out," I replied and I heard her sigh. It was easy to see that she didn't like that too much but, well, a deals a deal.

"What if Kaelie gets even more pissed off at me? I really don't want to have anyone on the island hate me. I already don't belong here." Her voice got really quiet and she looked down at the ground, and I felt bad all over again for the things she'd heard me say. I had made her already shitty situation just that much worse.

"Look-," I started but she cut me off.

"Let's just go. I'm cold." We walked the rest of the way to the village in an awkward silence as I tried to think of something to say to make her feel better. But I couldn't think of anything. Because what she'd said at the campfire was true: I _had _meant what I said. At the time. But now that I'd talked to her a little more, I could see that she wasn't all that bad. I mean, I still didn't know if she cared about learning the things my mom wanted me to teach her, but I could tell that she appreciated what my mom had been doing for her. Which reminded me of a question I'd been meaning to ask since I found her on the beach that first day.

"What did my mom give you on the day that you woke up?" I asked and she looked at me in surprise. It seemed almost instinct to her as she reached up and put her fingers against something hidden under her shirt. It made me want to touch my shark tooth, but I kept my hands at my sides.

"Oh, um, my necklace. She got all the . . . blood cleaned off of it." Her voice cracked on the word 'blood' and I turned to look at her.

"You okay?" She nodded but her expression was almost pained. "What's wrong?"

"Just thinking about how I ended up here." She touched the hidden necklace again and I waited for her to go on, knowing that pushing her would only make her more reluctant to tell me. After a few more moments of silence, she took a deep breath and started talking. "It was my birthday," she sighed. "My sixteenth birthday. My parents took me on a cruise and threw this huge party for me." Her voice sounded thick and I kept quiet, waiting for her to continue. "I was relaxing on the deck after the party, just to be alone for five minutes. Five freaking minutes. And this greasy, slimy asshole who totally does not know how to approach girls, wouldn't leave me alone. Well, to hide from him, I jumped in one of the life boats hanging off the side. What a stupid idea that turned out to be," she grumbled.

"What happened?" I asked gently, just to show her I was listening. She sighed loudly and started twirling a lock of her red hair around her finger again.

"He accidently pushed the button that sent me and the boat flying down into the water." I thought it over but something didn't add up to me.

"But if he saw it happen, then shouldn't he have been able to tell someone in time to help you?" I wondered and she turned to look at me, her eyes swimming with tears but her expression angry. Angrier than I've ever seen her, even after she'd heard all the things I'd said.

"Only if he'd told anyone. But he didn't!" she growled.

"Why?" What she was saying didn't make any sense to me.

"Because he didn't want to get fired." I felt the same disgust I could hear in her voice when I thought about the guy risking her life to save his job. That was just fucking cruel.

"I'm sorry," I murmured and she looked at me.

"For what?" A tear leaked out of the corner of her eye and I tried to come up with something to say that would stop her from crying. I seriously didn't like tears.

"I'm sorry that that happened to you. I'm sure you had plans and dreams before and they're all ruined now because of some guy being a dickhead." She skidded to a stop and I turned to see what was wrong. "What?"

She didn't answer for a moment, just shook her head and started walking again. "Wow, who knew a boy could understand something like that. I mean, who knew a guy could have the emotional capacity to understand that."

"Hey, I can be deep," I said, feigning offense. She giggled.

"Oh yeah?" I nodded and she grinned. "Prove it."

"How?" She was silent for a few minutes and I grinned smugly.

"Fine but someday. You have to prove to me that you're deep because I still don't believe it." She smiled, meaning to take some of the sting out of her words, and I suddenly found that I couldn't look away from her.

The rain had soaked us both through, so her thick, red hair was plastered to her face. I noticed for the first time that when she smiled, one side of her mouth went up just slightly higher than the other. And how her eyes smoldered and cooled and sparkled with her emotions. And how her nose scrunched up a little when she was concentrating really hard on something, causing the freckles that dotted her cheeks to crinkle . . . And how the arc of her neck . . .

"What?" she asked, looking uncomfortable. I shook my head, breathless, and walked a little faster. It was weird. At first, I'd seen her as a stranger, someone unwelcome who'd washed up on the beach. Then, in the matter of a few days, my view of her had changed. Now, I could see that she was more . . . that she was beautiful in more ways than just one. "Hey, you okay?" she asked, speeding up to keep pace with me.

"Yeah, um, I just remembered something I have to talk to my mom about," I said, my voice sounding sharp. The new change made me nervous. I didn't understand what it was or what it meant. I couldn't explain it, and I didn't like feeling like that.

I heard Clary sigh, and she dropped back so she was walking behind me rather than next to me. I felt bad because it must have seemed like I had mood swings pretty often. I mean, we'd been getting along that night at the bonfire and then she heard me say those awful things the next day. I could understand how that would upset her, since my mood seemed to change without any prompting.

I turned to face her and she stopped, looking at me like I was losing my mind. But I needed to explain. "Look, I know I may seem to have . . . mood swings," I sighed and she smiled. Again, I saw the right side of her mouth pull up just slightly higher. Now that I'd noticed it, I couldn't stop noticing it. I lost my train of thought for a moment.

"It's called bipolar disorder," she replied and I paused. Could I be bipolar? My mom had told me about someone she'd grown up with that everyone thought was bipolar, but it hadn't even crossed my mind that I could be. After a minute, I shook my head.

"I don't think I'm bipolar," I said. "But I just wanted you to know that it's not like me. I don't know why it's happening but I'm sorry." She wrapped her arms around herself and I heard her teeth knocking together. "Oh, sorry," I said again, feeling stupid. I started leading the way again, wondering why I felt like I was such an idiot.

"No big deal." She matched my pace again and we were back at the village in another minute. The leaves had been torn away to make room for the houses in the clearing so, without the cover of the vegetation, we were being pounded by the rain. Clary took off towards the house and I followed closely behind her until we were both on the deck. She waved to me as I ran around to my room and slipped inside.

"Why were you gone so long?" my mom asked, her tone not at all angry. She sounded almost . . . thrilled. It was weird but then again, so was my mom.

"Um, I was teaching Clary something." It was actually true: I'd been teaching her how to climb a tree. It wasn't useful but it had been interesting.

"Did you have fun?" She studied me, her eyes so dark they were almost black. No one knew where I got my eyes. My dad and mom both had brown eyes and mine were extremely light brown, almost to the point of looking golden. That was weird, too, but everyone was used to it by now.

"Um, yeah?" It came out sounding like a question, and my mom smiled and went back to her notes. She'd been trying to come up with new medicines with all the herbs that had been discovered here and her entire desk was completely _covered _in notes. I shook my head and started going through my drawers for dry clothes to change into.

Later that night, after the rain had stopped, everyone gathered around the fire again. I walked up to Clary without her knowing and leaned down so I could whisper in her ear. "So," I started and she jumped in the air.

"Holy crap, Jace. That was not cool." I laughed and shrugged.

"Maybe, but it was funny. Okay, so the deal is still that I have to ask Kaelie out and you have to ask Sebastian out, right?" She nodded and looked towards the fire, where Seb was standing with his arm around Kaelie's waist, whispering in her ear. _Am I the only one who noticed that Kaelie was staring at me?_ I wondered.

"She just can't take her eyes off of you, can she?" Clary giggled. Apparently I _wasn't_ the only one. "So, how are we going to get them alone?"

"Kaelie usually disappears into the forest for awhile, so I'll follow her and you can talk to Sebastian." Clary nodded and we waited until, like always, Kaelie disappeared into the forest alone. Clary pushed me gently with her elbow and I gave her a good luck wink before I slowly followed Kaelie. I was hoping that she was already distracting Sebastian so that he wouldn't see me and get the wrong idea. I knew him well enough to know that he would freak out and take it all the wrong way.

"Where is she going?" I muttered to myself as I followed Kaelie out into the forest. She was carrying a lantern so I kept distance between us, staying only close enough to see the light bobbing. Finally, after about five minutes of hacking through the forest, Kaelie stopped suddenly. Just as I was about to step out from behind a tree, a weird smell drifted to me from where she was sitting on a fallen tree. I peeked out to see her bringing something small to her mouth, a small plume of smoke curling off the end . . .

"Kaelie, are you fucking insane?!" I yelled, jumping out from behind the tree. She tried to hide it behind her leg but she accidently burned herself. I continued walking towards her as she jumped up, hissing in pain. "What the hell are you doing?" I shouted at her, only a few feet away. "You have no idea the harm that shit has on your body!"

The island has this abundance of weeds that no one had ever seen before. The only thing it was proven useful for was to get someone high. No medicinal advantages like actual marijuana either. And Kaelie had just been smoking it. Even after she'd seen what it had done to one of the most important guys in the village.

Even after she'd seen what it'd done to my dad.

"No, Jace, it's not what it looks like," she pleaded, stepping towards me. My eyes were –shockingly- brimming with tears. I tried to blink them away, but I was only partially successful. "Please-."

"No! You saw what it did to my dad! You saw what it did to me and my mom when he left!" I couldn't believe I was crying. I'd promised myself that after all that had happened, no one would ever see me cry again. And just because someone who I'd thought was my friend was doing the thing that tore my family apart, my promise was being broken. "How could you, Kaelie?"

"You don't understand, Jace!" She took a step towards me, with her arms stretched out in front of her. When I took a step back, she looked hurt. Well, she deserved it. "Please, listen to me!"

"Y-you were there for me, Kaelie. You comforted me. How could you do that? What were you thinking?" I asked, stumbling farther away from her as agonizing memories crashed down onto me.

"Jace, please, no. I can explain."

"Fine! Explain to me how you could watch my family fall apart and then do the thing that caused it! Explain to me how you could tell me how awful it was for my dad to do that and then go and do it yourself! Explain!" I growled. There I was, a 17 year-old boy, with tears in my eyes and my hands clenched into fists. At least Sebastian or my mom or Clary weren't around to see it. I could only imagine how embarrassing that would have been.

Kaelie just stood there, staring at me, until I couldn't bear to look at her anymore. I took a deep breath, wiped my face on my sleeve and ran as fast as I could away from her. I ignored her crying my name over and over again and just sprinted through the trees. There was no way I could face the entire village like this, so I skirted around the edge and continued on until I reached the beach. That's when I heard it . . . the familiar sound that I hadn't heard since my father left. The sound of a guitar. I stepped through the trees and just stood there with my eyes closed, listening. The memories that came flooding back with the music didn't hurt because they were good; they were before my father started smoking the stupid fucking weed. I thought I was imagining the music, that it was coming from my memories, but it wasn't a song I'd ever heard before.

"I know you're there!" My eyes snapped open and I looked towards where I heard the almost familiar voice. Clary was sitting on the rocks, rocking slightly, the guitar positioned on her lap and her fingers moving swiftly over the strings. "You don't have to stand over there," she called. I sat by her mechanically, hoping that she couldn't see my red, puffy eyes in so little light.

"Is this where you went every day after chores?" I asked her, thankful my voice didn't show I'd been crying.

"Yep, every day."

"Why?" We were sitting so close that every time her body swayed with the music, her arm lightly brushed mine. I refused to acknowledge the odd goose bumps now rising on my skin.

"No offense to you or anyone here on the island, but this is my only way back to my life. The life I was meant to live." I looked out over the water and listened to her play in silence.

"You're good," I murmured and she smiled. "My dad used to play." I didn't know what made me say it but I did. And I couldn't bring myself to regret it.

"I know," she replied quietly. "Your mom told me." I sighed, figuring I should tell her about my dad since she'd told me about how she'd gotten here. But that didn't mean it wasn't going to be the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

* * *

**Well, there you have it. Chapter eight! And next chapter, you'll learn what happened to Jace's dad! Woo! :D And _then _the dates . . . Maybe ;) **

**So, I'm leaving on Friday for my ten day vacation. And the Thursday right before we leave is my brother's _AND _my best friend's birthday! And since they don't get along, that's two birthdays I have to celebrate in one day, which should be fun, I guess :) And since I only got one review regarding my updating schedule when it came to my long ten day vacation -and it said that it really didn't matter when I updated as long as I did- I've decided by myself what I'm going to do. I am going to . . . post what I write. Simple enough, right? Because then I won't feel bad if I don't finish the amount of chapters you asked for, and I won't feel rushed. And I can post more if I write more than you expect! :D So, I will not be updating at all between this Thursday and the following Sunday. So that's at least ten days without an update, which I'm sorry about, but there's nothing I can do about it. And I'll do my best to post at least one chapter on the Monday after I get back, although I start school that Tuesday. Damn, I hate being really busy on my last two weeks of summer :( **

**And since I'm going on such a long vacation, both of my jobs decided to schedule me for every available second I have until then. But no worries, I plan on posting one chapter on Monday, and hopefully one on Wednesday night before I go to work. So I hope to get two chapters in before I go on vacation. I've gotten most of the next chapter written, so it's looking pretty good. **

**Thanks for reading, and I hope you review to let me know if you enjoyed it! :P **


	9. Past Of The Broken

_**{Clary POV}**_

Jace sighed and angled his body towards me while I kept playing. It seemed to have a calming effect on his mood, and I saw him visibly relaxing out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't going to bring it up but I could tell he'd been crying, and I didn't want to make it worse. But I couldn't help wonder what had happened. Hadn't he just been talking to Kaelie about going on a date with him? What about that could have upset him? I doubted she rejected him, and even if she had, I didn't think he'd be crying over that. I didn't think he reciprocated the feelings she had towards him. But maybe I was wrong, since I hadn't really seen them interact all that much.

"What'd she tell you?" he asked, refusing to meet my eyes. Instead, he stared down at the guitar cradled in my hands.

"Just that it was your dad's." I spoke as gently as I could so as not to upset him.

"Did she tell you what happened to my dad?" I shook my head and he looked back over the water. "Do you want to know?"

"You don't have to tell me," I replied. I _did _want to know but I could already tell it was going to be painful for him to talk about.

"It's hard for me so you'll have to be patient, okay?" I nodded and stopped playing the guitar. It seemed like the best thing to do was to pull off the strap and push it towards him. He grabbed it and put it in his lap, rubbing his fingers across the smooth wood. "My dad was a good man. And a really good doctor. He taught my mom all she knows and that's how they fell in love," he started. I turned so I was facing him and waited for him to go on.

"Well, he was always out looking for new herbs and stuff to make new medicines. He'd bring home whatever he could find and just experiment. I used to help him all the time." I saw his hand clench around the neck of the guitar and I rested my knee against his so that he knew I was there, knew I was listening. "One day, he came home with these weeds and it took him three months to find out that it was completely useless. No medicinal purposes, whatsoever. So, he burned the stuff he'd gathered. And turns out, the smoke makes you high. He got addicted to it really fast, and soon after, he stopped looking for other herbs or experimenting or playing the guitar. He stopped being himself." His voice got really low, but I still heard it when it cracked, and I reached out to put my hand on his arm. It stilled under my touch but moved over the guitar again after only a second.

"It's okay, Jace. You really don't have to tell me." He shook his head and took a shaky breath.

"No, I _do_ have to tell you. It might explain a lot about me." I nodded and squeezed his arm gently to encourage him to go on. "It hurt so much to watch him just sit in the house, day after day, doing nothing but smoking. So, I told him how I felt and asked him to stop. He hit me." I gasped quietly, shocked, and moved closer to him. After seeing for a few weeks how tough and mean Jace could be, this side of him made me feel closer to him. And he was right: it explained a lot. It explained why he thought he _had _to be big and tough and why he didn't like change. "I stopped talking to him. Completely. I didn't say a word to him for about a week, which is longer than I'd ever gone without talking to him before. And he eventually realized he'd messed up." I nodded my head softly, agreeing. He _had _messed up, and I was actually extremely angry at him for all he put Jace through. I wondered how different the boy in front of me would be if he hadn't had to deal with his dad's addiction, or with being hit by the man he looked up to.

"Oh, Jace," I whispered. He turned his head so he was looking down the beach away from me. I bent over and pressed my forehead against his muscular shoulder. I didn't know how else to comfort him. "I'm sorry." I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hug him to me, and tell him everything was okay and that I was there for him. But I didn't think he'd let me, or if it'd help him even if I did. I hated that he sounded so broken and that I had no idea how to help him.

He went on like he hadn't even heard me. "He apologized but I was too hurt by the way he'd changed. And I was hurt by the way that he didn't care that it hurt me, if that makes any sense. So, I ignored him. I made my mom tell him that it wasn't good enough, that he had to do more than just apologize. The next morning, he was gone. No traces. I mean, his clothes were gone, his research was gone. Everything had just disappeared over night. I didn't get it. Then, I found the note. It said that he hadn't meant to hurt me and he was going to make sure he never did it again. That was the last we heard from him." His fingers continued to move over the wood of the guitar and I turned my head so my cheek was pressed against his shoulder instead. His skin was warmer than the cool breeze blowing across the beach. "He took the crappy boat Robert made in case of an emergency and _didn't even look back_," he whispered. My heart broke at the pain in his voice. For some reason, I figured Jace was more susceptible to anger than pain and sadness. So I knew that whatever had upset him this much would have had to have been _really _bad. And I absolutely hated that he had to go through anything that hurt him so much. I'd hate it if anyone I knew did. No one deserved to be abandoned.

"When did this happen?" I asked quietly.

"I was fifteen. I'd thrown this at him after he hit me." He reached into the front of his shirt and pulled something out, and I gingerly took the tooth into my hand. "He'd given it to me when I was four, just like my grandfather had given it to him. He left it with his note before he took off, and I haven't taken it off since. It's the only reminder I have left of him."

"What kind of tooth is it?" I asked, pushing my thumb against the point. I felt a pinch of pain as it broke the skin; it was _extremely _sharp.

"Shark. Not sure what kind. But my grandfather found it on the beach or something and it's been like a family heirloom ever since." I dropped the tooth back to his chest and reached up to touch my own necklace. The metal was warm from being under my shirt for so long and I pressed it against my chest. It was hard to believe that the diamonds and silver were still in such great condition after all the salty spray and blood, but Celine said they only had to do minimal repairs.

"What's that?" Jace asked, staring at my hand that was still pressed against my chest. I pulled out my necklace and moved closer so he could see it. I had a feeling he wanted to change the subject, and I wasn't about to complain. He'd told me more than I ever expected. And I wanted to help him feel better, even if that meant distracting him from his thoughts.

"Fifth birthday present," I replied when he took it into his palm.

"Is it real?" I nodded and he let it swing back to my neck. "Is that what my mom wanted to give you that one day?" I tucked the necklace back into my shirt and nodded again.

"Yeah, I was so relieved. I'd thought I'd lost it." I focused on the feeling of the warm metal against my skin, letting the relief wash over me again.

"That reminds me, why did you say no when it was something you wanted so much?" he asked and I looked out over the water. I remembered exactly how I felt; sad, homesick, and guilty. I still felt that way, but I couldn't think of anything to do to remedy it.

"I didn't know that it was my necklace. And by that time, she'd already given me too much. I couldn't in good conscience take anything else from her. It felt wrong and selfish." He didn't reply and I turned my body to look at him. And suddenly I realized that he was the only person whose body language I couldn't read, other than the time after I first told him about what I read from Kaelie and Sebastian. I suspected I could only read it that time because he was so shocked, by the accuracy or the fact that he'd never seen anything like it I didn't know. His body seemed to only move when he wanted it to, unlike everyone else. With Kaelie, her body had swayed towards his and her eyes kept flicking towards him, probably without conscious thought. But with Jace, there were no involuntary movements whatsoever. Which was really weird and freaked me out a little. It was easier to trust someone when I could read their body language, because it helped me guess what they were going to do next. And that really explained why I was so afraid of him at first. That or it could have been the way he so obviously hated me. Or maybe the way he could overpower me with little to no effort.

"What are you thinking?" Jace asked me suddenly. I shook my head quickly, trying to clear my mind. I didn't want him to be able to read my thoughts in my eyes.

"Nothing." He raised his eyebrow but, after a few seconds, decided to let it go.

"Okay, well, I'm bored. What do you want to do?" he asked. I shrugged and took the guitar back onto my lap when he held it out to me. "How did it go with Sebastian?"

I didn't answer for a minute, thinking about what had happened only seconds after Jace had disappeared into the forest behind Kaelie. Sebastian had looked up at me and grinned, his eyes sparkling in the light of the fire. He was okay looking, not as cute as Jace, but not bad either. He had long brown hair that hung into his brown eyes and a mischievous smile, the kind that makes you think that they're constantly up to something. He'd actually asked me out before I could ask him, and we were supposed to hang out on the beach tomorrow after chores. I wasn't looking forward to it.

"Not bad," I replied. Jace waited for me to say more but when I didn't, he sighed.

"Do you have a date with him?" I nodded and started playing the guitar, wondering again why I couldn't read Jace like I could read everyone else. It made me extremely nervous, and I didn't like it one bit.

What if he went back to feeling about me how he did when I first woke up? I knew we'd been getting along a lot better since then, and I was pretty sure he was starting to like me as a friend. But how fast could that change? Just because I knew what made him change attitudes so fast, didn't mean it made me feel any better. I didn't know what could set him off, and I really didn't want to be the target of his anger. I couldn't figure him out, and I didn't know how I'd react if he was to get angry at me. I wasn't a fighter and I didn't exactly know how to defend myself. I knew the basics, I guess, from movies, but I had no idea how to actually apply those moves to actual situations. And what if I panicked and froze?

I was shocked out of my thoughts when I noticed Jace clenching his hands into fists, and I could see his jaw working like he was clenching his teeth. My breath caught in my throat and a small bubble of fear built up in my chest. He was pissed, that much was obvious, but I had no idea why. Was his anger directed at me? Did he want to hurt me? Had I said something to piss him off?

Did he regret telling me about his dad?

As I thought about what he'd told me about what he'd gone through with his father, I decided to get the hell over it and just ask him what was up. But if he was pissed at me, I didn't want to make it worse by drawing attention to it. So, I decided to pretend I didn't notice how upset he was. "You okay?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side. He looked up, his golden eyes filled with surprise and something else I couldn't name, but I didn't see any anger. He turned away quickly, and I could have sworn I saw his cheeks turn red. But I shook my head of the thought. I didn't think Jace _ever _blushed. Besides, what would he have to blush about?

* * *

**Yeah, guys, what would dear Jace have to blush about? Hmm . . . ;) Anyway, now you know why Jace's dad isn't in the picture. I don't know if anyone was curious or not since no one mentioned it, but I felt the need to explain anyway. Did anyone expect that? I guess it was kind of a spoiler with mentioning it in chapter eight when he caught Kaelie, but what can you do, huh? **

** . . . I know. This is a day late, and I'm sorry. But yesterday got seriously hectic and I didn't even have time to eat dinner, let alone sit on the computer. I'm really sorry, and I promise you'll get another chapter tomorrow, just like I planned. Promise. **

**And I just wanted to share something I thought was funny with you. Whenever I go to type the word 'conscience', it takes me a minute to remember how to spell it. And then I go, "Oh yeah! It's spelled _con-science."_ Helps me every time :P **

**And another thing . . . I've been writing something other than this story, too. It was originally intended to be a one-shot songfic, but I'm past 8,000 words and I've hardly gotten a quarter of what I planned to write into it. There's so much I can do with the story, and I just feel like making it a one-shot would . . . I don't know . . . belittle it? If that makes any sense? Anyway, I'm starting to think it would just be so much better as an actual story, albeit a short one. I don't know though. I'm torn, because I was all excited to write my first one-shot, but I feel like it'd be way too long if I put everything I wanted to in there. :( I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? Maybe a two-shot? Or just a few chapter long story, if that makes any sense? I just don't know. **

**Review, please, because it makes me super happy. :D **


	10. Surprise Visitor

_**{Jace POV}**_

"Do you have a date with him?" I asked. There was only a second of hesitation from her before she nodded. I'd thought I'd been prepared for her answer, considering I'd been the one to tell her to ask him out, but I was wrong. My hands involuntarily clenched into fists and I felt angry for some reason I couldn't figure out. I mean, could it be because Sebastian, my best friend, was willing to cheat on a girl he sees every day, one he was supposedly crazy about? Was it because I never thought he'd do something like that to anyone? Or was it something else entirely? I uncurled my fingers and thought about it for a minute, but I couldn't think of any plausible reasons why Clary and Sebastian having a date, after I suggested it, pissed me off.

"You okay?" I looked up to see Clary staring at me, her head tilted to the side. Her curtain of thick hair spilled over her shoulder and I suddenly started thinking about the first time she'd woken up, when she sat up and the blanket fell away from her naked body. My cheeks got warm and I turned away to look over the water before she could read what I was thinking in my eyes.

"I'm fine," I replied. I stood up and brushed my hands off on my jeans before I held one out to her. She wrapped her fingers around mine and I pulled her up, holding onto her hand for a second so I knew she had her balance. She looked down at the rocks, where a few pieces of her boat that still hadn't been washed away by the waves sat, baking in the sun.

"Are _you _okay?" I murmured gently. She shrugged and walked away, leaving me standing alone on the rocks. I watched her until she reached the edge of the trees, where she turned back to me and beckoned with her hand that I follow. There wasn't really much else for me to do, so I ran to catch up and we walked back to the village and then to our separate rooms in silence.

I hadn't been asleep for long when I heard something outside the window, a creaking like someone was walking across the deck. I leapt up and stood on the balls of my feet, prepared for anything. No one had ever been attacked here before, but as kids, we'd been taught how to defend ourselves in these situations. Then, out of the darkness, a female voice called my name, breaking the tension in my muscles. My body slumped a little as the adrenaline that had been surging through my system left.

"Jace?" At first, I thought it was Clary, but after a second I could tell that the person's hair was too light and straight to be Clary's. With a little more thought, I recognized the voice, and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. What was she doing outside my room in the middle of the night?

"Kaelie?! What the hell are you doing here?" I asked, relaxing my defensive stance. She disappeared around the side of the house without a word and I followed after a moment's hesitation.

"Were you going to attack me, Jace?" she asked playfully, but I treated it at a serious question. I wasn't feeling very playful towards Kaelie at the moment.

"Maybe. I didn't know it was you," I replied, leaning my elbows onto the railing. The forest at night was beautiful. It was one of those things that just got prettier every single time you saw it. The trees all casted off a jade green glow in the moonlight, and if you knew where to look, you could just see the bright colors of fruit in the darkness like splashes of paint on a black canvas. Birds and insects chirped silently, too quiet to keep anyone awake, and the sound of small animals scurrying through the underbrush was soothing in a way nothing else could be. Millions of stars littered the sky and I stared up at them as I waited for Kaelie to tell me what she wanted to tell me. I had a feeling it was something I didn't want to hear. Like an excuse for how stupid she was being by smoking that shit.

"Look, Jace," she said after a few quiet moments. I felt her hand on my shoulder, but I was too tired to shrug it off. When I didn't make a move to step away, she tightened her fingers, and I sighed. "I'm sorry about what you saw. You're right; I'm such a hypocrite. After all of the things that happened to you and your family, even thinking about smoking the weed was stupid. And I'm so, so sorry." I looked down at her, not sure I believed what she was saying. I knew she was sorry for me having seen and getting so upset about it, but I wanted her to be sorry for doing something so completely stupid. And I wanted her to promise me she'd stop. So far, I wasn't convinced that she would.

"When did you start?" I asked, my voice still husky with sleep. I cleared my throat and resisted the urge to move away from her when her hand moved up from my shoulder to cup my cheek. It was way too intimate for my liking, and I didn't want to get her hopes up. But I had a feeling she'd get hurt and stalk off if I pulled away like I wanted to. So I sucked it up and held still as her thumb traced my bottom lip.

"Not long ago. About the time when that girl got here." I turned sharply to look at her and her hand fell away from my face.

"What does Clary have to do with any of this?" I asked, my voice sharp in the darkness. Kaelie looked away from me and shrugged her shoulders.

"All the guys our age are, like, obsessed with her. Even Sebastian. And it bothered me. It _bothers _me."

"Please, Kaelie, tell me that jealousy did not make you start smoking that shit." She didn't answer but I took it as a confession. "That's fucking stupid. Sebastian has been in love with you for years." She shook her head and exhaled angrily.

"Fine, but what about you?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Her question caught me off guard and I met her pained gaze. She was staring at me with her blue eyes filled with anger and tears.

"Why, after only knowing her for a few weeks, do you like her? But after knowing me for years, knowing how I feel about you, you still don't like me!" she said so quietly I had to lean forward to catch it. I stood up straight and stared at her. Her eyes were shiny with tears and her hands were clenched into fists by her sides.

"I don't like her," I said. I was too shocked to say anything else. Suddenly, I had no desire to hear what she'd come here to say anymore. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it, and that it might get her in trouble if the wrong person overheard.

"Then why do you spend all of your time with her?" She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I don't have a choice. I said some really mean things and hurt Clary's feelings, so my mom is making me teach her how things work around here."

Kaelie didn't look convinced at first. She just stared at me, her lips pursed. Then, seemingly satisfied with my answer, she stepped closer. I was too stunned to do anything when she threw her arms around my neck and slammed her mouth against mine, or to react to the noise I'd heard behind me. Then a sudden thought flew through my head.

Was I angry earlier about Sebastian and Clary's date because he was cheating on Kaelie? Was I jealous? Did I have feelings for her? I found myself kissing her back, one of my hands in her hair and the other at the small of her back. But it didn't feel right. It was just a guess, considering I didn't have one, but it felt like I was kissing my sister. And I knew right then that I didn't have any feelings for Kaelie. I didn't like her any more than a friend. _Thank God, _I thought to myself.

I moved my hands to the back of my neck so I could grab her arms and gently untangle them. "Sebastian," I whispered when she tried to kiss me again. She stopped and I stepped away, putting a few feet in between us so she couldn't reach me.

"Should I break up with him?" she asked me but I shook my head, without needing to think about it. There was absolutely no hesitation on my part before I answered her question.

"No. Stay with him." She looked at me in confusion and I sighed, knowing I needed to tell her the truth. But I also knew it would hurt her, so I said it as gently as I could. "You should be with someone who can return your feelings," I murmured. I heard a hitch in her breathing and I sighed again. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You can't help it." She turned around and walked away, and I stayed outside for a few minutes before I went inside and collapsed onto the floor. I wasn't tired anymore, so I just stared at the ceiling above me. Thoughts of Clary and Kaelie and Sebastian and my mom and my dad flooded through my head, keeping me awake.

Why did Kaelie choose now to come after me? And why couldn't she be happy with Sebastian, who was absolutely in love and completely devoted to her? Even though he was a little weird and could be inappropriate at times, along with his extremely odd sense of humor, he was a great guy. I was sure that if she gave him a chance, Sebastian could make her happy. Why wasn't that enough for her? It would be for other people, so why not Kaelie?

And if I didn't have feelings for Kaelie, then _why the hell _did Clary's planned date with Sebastian bother me so much? I'd put her up to it, and insisted even when she tried to talk me out of it. Did it piss me off so much because I thought Sebastian was better than to say yes, considering he had a girlfriend? It didn't take me long to realize that that wasn't true. I wouldn't have told Clary to go after him if I thought he'd say no. So what was it? Was I feeling an involuntary overprotective, big brother type of thing towards Kaelie?

After about ten minutes, thinking about everything without getting anywhere got to be too much, and I jumped up and left as quietly as I could. My mom was still sprawled out on the bed, with her hair hanging over the edge. If I looked close enough, I could see that her black braid was streaked with grey. It hadn't been a few years ago, but taking over raising me and taking care of everyone in the village after my father left had taken its toll on her. She was still beautiful, but her face was a little more lined and there was a little more pain in her eyes than there had been before.

My feet carried me away from my mom's and my room and I found myself at the door leading into Clary's. I peaked in and was shocked to see the bed was abandoned, the blankets thrown back like they'd been kicked off quickly. I scanned the room, thinking she was just standing around somewhere, but I noticed that she was gone, as was my father's guitar. And I knew where she was. I climbed down the ladder and followed the familiar trail down to the beach, where I knew I'd see Clary playing the guitar with her back to me. Just like she had been earlier.

For a few moments, I stood just inside the line of trees leading onto the beach and watched her. She rocked slightly from side to side as she played, her head bowed over the guitar in her lap. She was so tiny. It was hard to believe she was sixteen. I easily towered over her, even though I was only just a year older.

I walked all the way up to the rocks and stood behind her for a few seconds, neither of us speaking. Finally, she broke the silence. Her voice was low and soft, and she didn't even look up from the ocean as I stood over her.

"We keep meeting like this."

* * *

**Why, oh why, does Clary going on a date with Sebastian upset Jace so much?! He does't have feelings for Kaelie, so what on Earth could be the reason? ;) **

**SPOILER ALERT!: The next chapter will be a bit emotional for Clary. Just because I felt she needed to get it out of the way, you know? Jace had his big breakdown moment, and now it's Clary's turn! So BEWARE! :D but . . . I won't be able to post that chapter until Monday, August 20th, so you have time to prepare yourselves. Haha, just kidding, no preparations will be necessary. It's not that bad, but I felt I should warn you anyway. **

**So, this is the last chapter I'll be posting for the next week and a half or so. I wish I could update while I'm on vacation, but I really won't be able to. There's no possible way to get wifi. We'll be in a car the majority of the ten days. :( I know, I'm disappointed, too. Sorry, but I promise I'll make it up to you as soon as I get back. :) **

**Anyways, here's chapter ten for you! And do you know what would make me really happy when I get back? Some reviews waiting for me, maybe? And, hey, you never know. That might encourage me to post more chapters for you after I come home :) **

**P.S. Speaking of reviews, I cannot tell you how totally amazing you guys are! Every time I read a review, I can't stop smiling for, like, half an hour. They make me feel so awesome, and when I read them, I write faster than ever, because I get eager to post another chapter! So, please, keep them coming. That would be fantastic ;D **


	11. Emotional Breakdown

_**{Clary POV}**_

I felt him there before I heard his footsteps clatter against the rocks behind me. It didn't surprise me that he was here. What had woken me up in the first place was a creak outside my bedroom door, like the sound of a footstep of someone trying way too hard to be silent. I'd thrown the blanket off of me and hopped up, but the footsteps moved on. And I'd followed them, just out of sheer curiosity. I wanted to know why someone was creeping around the deck so late at night. I'd just stepped up to the corner of the house when I heard Jace's voice call, "Kaelie? What the hell are you doing here?" Then the footsteps had moved farther around the house, followed by another slightly quieter pair. And I couldn't stop myself from tiptoeing around after them. I'd heard Kaelie blame her problem –whatever the hell it was; she never actually said it out loud- on me and I leaned forward quietly, trying to hear them better. What problem could I have caused? I hardly said five words to the girl. It almost sounded like Jace had defended me and Kaelie got defensive, saying all the guys were obsessed with me. I didn't how they could be 'obsessed' when Sebastian and Jace were the only two I'd even ever spoken to.

Then I heard Jace reassure her that Sebastian was in love with her –which even _I _knew after seeing the two of them together. And then after Kaelie said something I didn't quite catch, he said he didn't like me. Or at least I think he was talking about me. My suspicions were confirmed when he said the reason he spent all his time with me was because he was being forced to. I thought it'd hurt me a little more when he said that but the truth was, the only reason I was even spending time with him every morning was to earn my keep with Celine. If I didn't have to, I'd have been playing the guitar on the beach everyday instead.

But when I watched Kaelie throw her arms around Jace's neck and kiss him, I felt a sudden stab of anger. It got worse when I saw him knot his fingers in her hair and wrap an arm around her waist. Feeling oddly conflicted, I'd spun around and ran back to my room to grab my guitar –not quietly enough- and then ran as fast as I could to the beach.

Which is where I was sitting when Jace joined me, as I half expected he would. I felt his eyes on me before he even came out of the forest, but the silence between us for those few moments was too peaceful to break.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, sitting next to me. I shook my head and put the guitar down, flexing my fingers. They were numb with cold and I could feel the wind blowing my hair towards Jace. I grabbed it in my hands and tucked it into the back of my shirt. "Something wrong?"

"No, just woke up and couldn't fall back asleep," I murmured, staring at the ocean in front of us. Everything on the island was beautiful. The water was a deep blue with small white strips when the waves crashed against the sand; the trees were an amazing jade green with their colorful fruits and animals hanging from the branches; the sand was soft and cool at night but bright and hot when the sun was beating down on it; even the rocks were beautiful, shining gray with specks of white and black. "You?" I asked, looking over at him.

He had his knees up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. It made him look younger, and more vulnerable than I'd ever seen him before. "Same," he replied. I knew he was thinking about what had happened with Kaelie, and the words popped out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked gently. He looked up at me in surprise and I could see a million emotions in his eyes, but there were way too many and he looked away too quickly for me to try making any sense of it.

"Talk about what?"

"Whatever is keeping you awake." He shook his head and then looked at me. "I'd rather not, either," I said before he could ask and he grinned. I smiled back shyly and looked out over the water again, watching as a seagull flew low over the waves.

"You never did tell me what there is to do off the island," he said suddenly. "You were about to when I'd climbed the tree," he added. I nodded, remembering, and turned my body slightly towards him.

"What do you want to know?"

Jace had me tell him what it was like to live in a city, with the lights blocking out the stars and all the buildings towering up over you. I didn't know how to make him understand how brilliant it was. I'd always felt like I belonged in New York, but I'd never appreciated it until I realized how little I belonged here on the island. He asked what a concert was like, wondering at the draw of standing for hours listening to music that you could barely hear over the people around you screaming their heads off. I explained about going to the theatres to see a movie or a Broadway show and even I could hear how wistful my voice was.

"You really miss it, don't you?" he asked, and I nodded sadly. "Are you miserable here?" I looked at him in shock, but he was looking down at the rocks.

"No, not at all. I mean, I was at first but I've gotten used to it. I actually kind of like it. And what if it were you? Imagine getting ripped away from your life here on the island. Imagine knowing in your heart that you'd never see your mom or Sebastian or Kaelie or anyone else here again. Imagine never being able to see the ocean and the tress you love for the rest of your life. Imagine just being thrown into the city, a completely unknown place to you, where it seemed like people hated you and didn't want you around. And why should they?" My voice was getting angrier. Since I'd started, it seemed like I couldn't stop the wall that had held in my emotions from crumbling and pouring everything I'd been feeling uncontrollably out of my mouth.

I hadn't meant to take out my anger on Jace –I'd actually promised myself I wouldn't- but I couldn't stop myself. Thoughts of my intruding here had been flying through my head for a few days now and I needed to get it off my chest in some way. And Jace was the only one around to listen, so he became the victim of my anger. "Why should anyone be expected to want you around when you just get in the way and can't do anything right?" I stopped saying 'you' and made it about myself, like it was really supposed to be. "How could I expect anyone not to hate me for making them change things for me, like how they have to prepare special vegetarian meals because I can't eat meat? It's not their responsibility. It shouldn't be," I said, my voice fading out with self-hatred. I hadn't realized before how guilty I felt about changing everything around here when everyone seemed so happy before I showed up. Or maybe I'd just been denying it to myself.

"Clary, you-," Jace said but I cut him off, whirling towards him with tears in my eyes.

"No, listen to me. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry that I messed everything up. Things were perfect here before I showed up but now you have to show me around so I don't get lost and teach me how to do things that you've been doing forever. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have to feel obligated to introduce me to your friends. I shouldn't be here, getting in the way of everything. I didn't mean to screw things up here. I really didn't. I'm sorry," I said again before I got up, leaving the guitar I didn't deserve resting on the ground, and started walking away from Jace.

It surprised the hell out of me when I felt him grab my hand and pull me to a stop. My cheeks were wet with tears, and my vision was too blurry to really see his face. "Clary, you can't really believe all of that," he whispered, his hand still holding mine. I looked down at the sand and didn't say anything. He seemed to know that I meant that I believed every word. And I did because it was all true. "You shouldn't believe it because you're wrong." His voice was so gentle that it made me angry. I expected him to agree with me, to be mad that I changed his way of life, to hate me for taking up all of his time. I wanted him to yell at me and tell me that I fucked up.

I looked up into his eyes as my tears ran faster. "But it is! Tell me right now that you don't hate me for messing everything up! Tell me that no one here hates me! I'm not supposed to be here, Jace. I don't belong, not like you and Sebastian and Kaelie do. We should never even have met. You should be here, happy and doing what you love with the people you love. I should be in New York, doing the things I've been expected to do since I was born."

That was the first time I'd ever said that. It was the first time I admitted that maybe, just maybe, I didn't want to be a Broadway star. That maybe I wanted to do something different. I'd been working my whole life to convince everyone that it's what I wanted to be because it's what my parents wanted, working so hard that I'd convinced myself. But here, no one thought that I had to do exactly what my parents do. No one expected anything of me, really, other than helping out just like every single one of them do on a daily basis. Which is why I shouldn't have been there. I'd been brought up a different way, expected to always do what I'm told, whenever I'm told to do it. And I'd been taught to take care of myself above all others. I'd never had to do other things for the welfare of a whole group of people, not like the village did. I shouldn't have been allowed on the island because I realized that I resented the people for making me do things for others. And that was wrong and selfish of me.

"Clary." Jace was starting to sound mad, and it was what I wanted. I didn't want him trying to make me feel better for being such a horrid person. But he wasn't mad at me for the reason I wanted him to be. "Why would you think that anyone here hates you? Do you really think so little of us, that we would begrudge you somewhere to stay and food to eat?" I felt bad then. I hadn't meant to criticize anyone here, not when they were all such great people. I looked down at the sand, hating myself even more. "It's not even your fault that you're here, Clary. If the village hates anyone, it's the asshole who hurt you. No one should have to go through all the shit that guy put you through, and you came out of it with your head held high, not letting anyone see how much you were hurt." He paused and I felt his finger under my chin, lifting my face up so I was looking into his eyes.

"But-," I started and he shook his head.

"No, it's my turn. You didn't mess anything up here, Clary. If anything, you made things better. The people here are starting to realize that things that we don't expect can happen. Like, say, a girl washing up on our beach inches from death." I couldn't stop the small smile that pulled at the corners of my mouth. It didn't fit his character, but here Jace was, attempting to make me feel better by cracking stupid jokes and teasing me. And it was working. "They're realizing that things need to change. Everyone's caught up in the way things _used _to be. But with you here, they're realizing that maybe we should find some way to communicate with the outside world. Build a boat or something," he added and I giggled. He squeezed the hand that he was still holding. "So, don't blame yourself for the way things are changing because it's needed to happen for a long time. You just sped up the process."

* * *

**Glad we got Clary's little breakdown out of the way! Now the real fun can begin, haha :)**

**So . . . I'M BACK! My vacation is finally over! It was absolutely amazing, and I had a great time. But I missed my normal routine of work, write, eat, write, sleep, and repeat. :D But, thankfully, there was no shortage of writing for me over the last week and a half or so. I know it's been a while since I've had the chance to update, but I'm completely prepared to make it up to you. Ready for some good news? Yeah?**

**I wrote five chapters over my vacation, including this one. So I will be posting a chapter _every day, _from today until Thursday :) Do you forgive me for making you wait now? Please? **

**And I was extremely happy over my vacation, because I got an email almost every day saying someone added this story to their favorites or alerts or reviewed. It inspired me to keep writing, even when the view outside the car window was AMAZING. :) So thanks guys. I can't even begin to tell you how much you rock. **

**Anyway, here's chapter eleven, the one where Clary loses her mind, haha. Keep reviewing because it makes me write faster! :P **


	12. Realizations and Twenty Questions

_**{Jace POV}**_

It was looking into Clary's eyes that made me finally realized why I'd gotten so angry when she told me that she had a date with Sebastian: I had feelings for her. I didn't know when they developed, and I wasn't sure how strong they were, but I could feel them when I looked at her. When she'd turned to me and started apologizing for messing things up, I'd noticed things I hadn't before, or maybe that I'd just ignored. Like the way her curly hair billows out around her in the wind and the way her eyebrows pull low over her eyes when she's upset and the way her hand constantly goes to her necklace. I'd noticed the necklace before but I finally understood why. It was her way of making sure she stayed the way she always was, her doorway back to her home. It was her way of telling herself that no matter where she was or who she was with, she always belonged in New York. I'd also noticed that she was as selfless and I'd originally thought she was selfish. Anyone who would beat herself up over a change they thought they'd caused couldn't be selfish. It just wasn't possible.

So, I'd told her how nothing she was blaming herself for was her fault. And I meant every word. The reason I hadn't liked her when she showed up was because we'd always done things the traditional way, and I thought that changing it now would be the end to all that my father had worked for and loved. He'd always talked about how great the village was doing and how we were so independent and strong. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized he never actually said we shouldn't change. He just complimented on how well we were doing so far. I remembered when I was about ten, I went to my father freaking out because my voice was changing. He'd taken me into the house, sat me on his lap, and said, "Son, things change all the time. It's the way of the world. And if things never changed, we'd never move on from the things that hurt us. We'd never grow or learn or _improve. _Change is necessary and if the world wants things to change, you'll know." Well, now I knew things needed to change, and Clary was the sign. She was the start of something new and better than the world we'd been living in.

"So, you promise no one here hates me for screwing everything up?" she asked me, her voice hopeful. I shook my head.

"No one here would even dream of hating you."

"What about you? Do you hate me?" I was still holding onto her chin but she pulled it out of my fingers and looked down at the sand. She let me hold onto her hand, though, so I wasn't about to complain.

"Why would I hate you?" She sighed and refused to meet my eyes.

"Because you have to teach me the things that you've been learning since you were little. You're life would be a lot easier if I weren't around." I snorted and shook my head again. Guilt quickly shot through me, because I knew the only reason she believed I hated her was because of the way I treated her and the things I said. I acted like a real asshole, and I didn't know how to make her believe that I definitely didn't hate her. Not even close.

"The only reason I ever cared about teaching you was because I thought you didn't care. But I know now that I was wrong." She didn't say anything for a second. Then, just when I was about to try convincing her again, she stepped closer and wrapped her arms around my waist. I hesitated for only a second before I put my arms around her shoulders and hugged her back. We stood like that for only a moment before she stepped back and wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Sorry. I don't know what came over me." I shrugged and we walked back to the rocks together. She sat down on one side of the guitar and I sat down on the other, and we both looked out over the ocean again. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know," I replied. "Tell me more about the city." She sighed and laid back to stare up at the sky, and I stared down at her.

Clary told me about the clubs and restaurants in New York that you had to call weeks in advance just to get a reservation. She told me about the museums and parks and all the people. But I was just listening to her voice. She sounded dreamy, like she was talking about a place that she'd heard of and always wanted to go to, like the moon. But, being where she is, both of those destinations were probably no more than dreams to her, and I felt awful that it had to be that way.

"Okay," she said after she told me all about how New York was a popular setting for TV shows and movies. "I've been talking for the past hour. It's your turn," she said. I laid down with my hands behind my head.

"What do you want to know?" She had me tell her the entire history of Okkar Eyja. She wanted to know who the first settlers were, when they got here, what had happened to their ship, how long they'd tried to get back home, how long it took them to build the village, how long it'd taken them to figure out everything we know about fruit and plants and drinkable water. She had me talk for twice as long as she did, asking another question as soon as I answered the previous one. When the sun was just about to rise, she finally stopped asking questions. I looked over at her, surprised, and saw that her eyes were closed and her hands were crossed over her stomach. I stared at her for a minute, caught off guard by how peaceful she looked. There had always been a sadness that I hadn't consciously noticed in her eyes and in the way she held her shoulders that disappeared when she slept. She looked young and innocent and . . . beautiful, so beautiful.

I stood up and picked up the guitar, slinging it over my shoulder so it was against my back, before I bent down to pick Clary up. She didn't wake up as I slid my arms under her but her eyes fluttered open when I lifted her off the rocks. "Jace?" she asked. "What are-?" But her words were cut off by a huge yawn and her head fell against my shoulder. I grinned and started walking towards the village, taking extra care not to trip over anything. When I'd first carried Clary along this path, I was more worried about getting her to the house before she died. She'd been so bloody, the top of her dress hanging open to show a gaping wound in her chest. Her hair was a tangled, stiff mess from the saltwater, and I was afraid she was going to die in my arms. But my mom knows what she's doing, and told me almost immediately that she was eventually going to be okay.

We reached the village only a few moments later, and I wondered if I should wake Clary up so she could climb the ladder herself, or throw her over my shoulder like I had to get her up there the first time. I figured carrying her up on my shoulder would wake her up, so I kneeled on the ground and gently put her down. "Clary," I whispered, shaking her shoulder. She blinked up at me and grinned tiredly.

"Time for chores, Jace?" she asked and I choked back my laugh. She was adorable when she was half asleep.

"No, but do you want to walk upstairs or do you want me to carry you?" I asked and her grin widened.

"Carry me," she murmured, reaching her arms up sleepily. I lifted my head and laughed, trying not to wake her up more. When I got my breath back, I bent down and picked her up again.

"Up you go," I said quietly. As I stood up, I maneuvered her around until one of my arms was wrapped under her legs and my other was around her upper back. She threw an arm around my neck and snuggled her face into my shoulder, and I grinned as I held her body to me. She felt so good in my arms. I managed to get her up the ladder, holding onto her body with one arm and using the other to hold onto the rungs. When we reached the deck, I exhaled, realizing I'd been almost sure I was going to fall and that one or both of us would have gotten hurt. I carried her into her room and gently laid her down on the bed, covering her with a blanket before I went back to the room I shared with my mom and collapsed onto the floor. I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow, only to dream about Clary for the first time ever.

~LOTI~

About half an hour later, my mom nudged my side with her foot. I pushed it away and ignored her. "Jonathan, get your lazy butt up. It's time for chores," she said, a smile in her voice. I peeled back my eyelids to look at her and I knew she could tell I hadn't gotten much sleep.

"Ma," I muttered but she shook her head, wiggling her finger at me.

"Don't you even ask it, Jonathan Christopher. I don't want to hear it. Now, get up, get dressed and go wake up Clary." I groaned and sat up, rubbing at my eyes. She was as stubborn as a mule.

"Fine, but if you won't let me sleep, at least let Clary sleep." She raised her eyebrows at me and I almost regretted asking. Almost.

"Why?" she asked slowly, drawing out the words as if she expected me to lie.

"Because we were both up all night at the beach," I answered truthfully. My mom had a thing with knowing when people were lieing, me especially.

"Doing what?" she asked, her voice a little _too_ uninterested, like she was hiding something.

"Talking." I stood up and stretched, my joints popping loudly. She hated when I did that and smacked at me with her lips pursed. I jumped out of the way and grinned.

"About what?" she asked.

"Nothing. Everything," I replied, shurgging before I pulled my shirt over my head.

"Jonathan, we need to talk about someth-," my mom started but was interrupted by someone at the door.

"Wake up, sleepyhead! It's time . . . oh, _wow_, sorry!" I turned just in time to see Clary's face turn bright red, her eyes on my bare chest, before she turned and ran. I grinned and grabbed the t-shirt my mom was holding out to me.

"Jeez, you think she'd never seen a half naked boy before," I said with a laugh and my mom smiled. She winked at me and head towards the door.

"No, but I doubt she's ever seen one that she likes so much." I raised my eyebrows at her but she just smiled again and left the room, ignoring me when I called her.

"Damn it, mom." But I smiled as I shook my head. I loved my mom more than anything in the entire world. Even if she was just slightly insane.

Once I finished getting dressed, I climbed down the ladder and grabbed a plate from Imogen while scanning the crowd for Clary. Finally, I saw her. She was standing at the edge of the circle, her expression a little nervous, talking to someone I couldn't see. When Malik, the hunter of our village, moved out of the way, I started walking faster as anxiety built up inside of me. I didn't know what was going on but I already didn't like it, because the person Clary was talking to was . . .

Kaelie.

* * *

**He finally admitted it to himself! Woo! :) Clary's turn, eh? **

**And, let me just say, _wow. _I can't believe the response yesterday's chapter got! It was absolutely amazing. _You_ are absolutely amazing. I can't begin to describe the feeling of opening up your account and seeing email after email saying someone reviewed or favorited or added this to alerts. It made me absolutely ecstatic. Thank you guys so much! And if that's how everyone's going to react, maybe I should go on ten day vacations more often! :D haha, just kidding. That'll be the last one for at least a year. So no worries :) **

**Thanks again. You're so awesome. **

**Well, here's part two of five that you'll be getting this week! I hope you like it! **


	13. Oh, Boys

**_{Clary POV}_**

When I'd seen Jace shirtless, I didn't know whether to stop and stare at his tan, flat stomach and amazing muscles, or turn and run. I chose the latter, blushing and spinning around to get out of there as fast as I could. I took two rungs at a time and gratefully accepted a plate of food from the woman who told me her name was Imogen. I'd just taken the first bite of my breakfast, still thinking of Jace's smooth, hard-looking abs when someone called my name, coming up behind me. I turned around and just barely managed to keep a hold on my plate, though I did choke on the food as I tried to swallow it.

"Oh, my. Are you okay?" Kaelie asked, stopping in front of me. I nodded and worked to get my breath back. "Okay, well, if you're all right, we need to talk."

"Um, okay," I mumbled, nervous. What if she'd found out about my supposed 'date' with Sebastian and she was here to start a fight? Luckily, I'd been wearing my hair up in a ponytail every day since I arrived on the island, so it would be harder for her to get a hold of it. I reached up to press my fingers against my necklace, seeking reassurance and comfort.

"I just really wanted to apologize for yelling at you for talking to Sebastian. I mean, I don't mean to be like that. It's just . . . I'm crazy about him," she said. _No, you're crazy about Jace,_ I thought to myself, but I was too shocked to say anything. "Clary, right?" I nodded again and Kaelie put her hand on my arm, her touch hesitant but not unfriendly. I still distrusted it. "I can't imagine how hard winding up here is for you. I really can't. But I figured that maybe you could use a friend. We could hang out and I could introduce you to some more people our age." Her voice got more enthusiastic. "Like this guy, Jonathan, had been obsessed with you since the first day you got here."

"Um, Jonathan?" I asked. I knew she wasn't talking about Jace, since she definitely wouldn't tell me if he was 'obsessed' with me. And I had a feeling she only wanted to hang out with me to get me _away_ from Jace, and that she wanted me to meet other guys for the same reason. But the thought of having a real friend -a _girl_friend- to talk to might make being here a little more bearable. She took my arm and turned me so I was facing across the small square. I watched from the corner of my eye as her hand swung up and she pointed to a guy who looked about two years older than me. He had extremely blonde hair, tan skin and eyes the color of charcoal. The combination of the three made him look kind of scary, until he flashed me a brilliant white smile.

"He's nineteen, single, and has had his eye on you since your first day here." I turned to face her again and smiled shyly. I wasn't interested in Jonathan. Actually, I wasn't interested in anyone on the island, and I figured I should tell her that so she could stop worrying about my non-relationship with Jace.

"Thanks, but I-," I started but was cut off when Jace showed up. Relief shot though me.

"Oh, hey, Kaelie," he said, a warning in his voice, before he turned to me. "Ready to go, Clary?" I nodded gratefully and smiled more widely at Kaelie. She was giving me the evil eye, but instead of scaring me like I'm sure she intended, it amused me.

"Well, it was nice talking to you. And I'd like to hang out sometime," I said, slightly satisfied by the narrowing of her eyes. I knew I would not be hanging out with her anytime soon, not unless I wanted my hair cut off in my sleep or my bras filled with dirt. Jace was studying me as we walked out of the clearing and into the surrounding forest. The air was muggy and humid, and I wrapped my hair into a tight bun to keep it off my neck.

"What was that about?" he asked me finally. I sighed and wiped the beading sweat off the back of my neck.

"Why is it so _hot?" _I asked, dodging the question. He shrugged and asked me again. "Ugh, fine, she asked me if I wanted to hang out. And she . . . offered to introduce me to . . . some people," I answered. He didn't say anything for a while, but I was perfectly content with just walking through the forest in silence. I felt more comfortable around Jace now, and just being in his presence was almost peaceful.

"So, are you going to hang out with her after we're done today, then?" he asked suddenly, his voice curious. I sighed and shook my head. All I wanted to do after we were done was get out of the heat, but I had plans already. No matter how much I wanted to cancel them.

"No, I have that date with Sebastian," I replied. Again, he didn't say anything and I wondered if he was thinking about Kaelie. "Oh, yeah, I meant to ask. When is your date with Kaelie?"

"Don't have one. Or already had one. Whichever way you want to look at it," he muttered and I grinned. I turned to look at him and my smile widened when I saw the look on his face: his eyebrows were furrowed, and he was biting his lip like he was thinking about the situation he called his date.

"Already had one? So, was she the one sneaking past my door last night?" He looked towards me so fast that he lost his footing and stumbled a little. I giggled as he caught his balance and cleared his throat.

"Is that why you were awake?" he asked and I shrugged. I didn't know how much I should admit to witnessing. "Did you hear anything?" There was something in his voice that made me turn my head to look at him again, but he was looking straight ahead.

"No," I lied. "Why? Was there something I should have heard?" He relaxed from a rigid posture I hadn't realized he'd been holding, his breath coming out in a rush. He lips pulled into a relieved looking smile.

"No, just . . . wondering." I didn't say anything, thinking about what I had heard. None of it was that bad. Not enough that he should be embarrassed about it. And if he'd been worried I'd be upset about him admitting to only spending time with me because he had to, wouldn't I have shown that last night at the beach? Wouldn't I have been yelling at him or ignoring him rather than telling him all the things I missed about New York? Does it make sense that I'd tell him something almost personal if I'd been upset? "Hey, Clary, are you okay?" I looked up at him, realizing he'd obviously called my name a few times. He was looking at me with concern like he thought I was going to pass out, but I just smiled and nodded.

"I'm good. So, what are we doing today?" He grinned back and swept his arm out to gesture at a grove of trees. I studied them for a moment, but I was still completely lost on what was going on. "What am I supposed to be seeing?" I asked and he laughed.

"Well, neither of us got much sleep last night," he started and I nodded in agreement. It had been almost impossible to drag myself out of bed this morning but after last night, I promised myself I'd do my part without complaint. "Actually, I still have no idea how you woke up before me."

"I'm used to waking up early now. But continue. What are we doing?"

"Well, my mom expects me to teach you about plants today. You know, are they edible and their medicinal purposes and stuff. So, I figured I'd teach you how to make a hammock –out of plants- and then we could just chill." I looked at him in shock. He didn't seem like the type to 'just chill' when he was supposed to be doing something, but his expression told me he was totally serious.

"Cool!" I said honestly and he laughed. "How long does it take?" He nodded towards the trees and we got to work, threading huge leaves and vines and plants together to make two hammocks that were much stronger than I thought they were going to be. We tied them to the trees and I climbed onto one, settling back. "Oh my gosh, this is heaven," I said and Jace laughed from a few feet away as he hoisted himself into his own. I'd expected the homemade beds to be itchy and uncomfortable, but they were the total opposite, like they were curving to my body and hugging me.

"My mom doesn't expect us back from chores for another hour and a half," he said, sounding a little smug. I giggled and shook my head.

"How do you know?" I wondered, tilting my head to look at him.

"The sun. Maybe I'll teach you how to read that one day, too." I sighed and closed my eyes, smiling when a cool breeze took some of the edge off the awful heat. "So, where else have you been besides New York?" Jace asked suddenly. I opened my eyes and turned on my side so I could see him better. He was lying on his back with his arm crossed under his head, but his face was turned towards me.

So, I told him. I told him about all of my family's vacations, the ones we'd gone on every year for my birthday. The cruise had been our vacation this year but I didn't want to get into that. I told him about the beauty of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado; the fun of Noah's Ark Water Park in Wisconsin Dells; the thrill of the rides at Cedar Point in Ohio; the amazement of seeing Niagara Falls lit up at night in Canada. At some point, I turned back onto my back and put my hands on my stomach, reaching up occasionally to run my fingers along the chain of my necklace. Eventually, Jace was silent and I feared I'd put him to sleep. I looked over but he was awake, staring up at the leaves that were attempting to shade us.

"What? No more questions?" I asked and he looked at me like he was shocked I was talking directly to him.

"No, it's just . . . I'd never had any desire to leave the island. I've always been completely, perfectly happy right where I am. But now, I'm not so sure."

"I'm sorry," I murmured. I hadn't meant to make him wish for something neither of us could have. He was obviously content with the things he's experienced, and now I gave him thoughts of places he could only dream about.

"What? Why?" he asked, rolling over to look at me.

"Because I've done it again," I started quietly. "I'm making you wish for things that you shouldn't. I keep changing things that have no need for change." He opened his mouth to speak but I shook my head. "You may not realize how much you hate me now, Jace, but you will. You will." He looked surprised, like it wasn't at all what he'd expected me to say. I thought, since I'd caught him off guard, maybe he wouldn't have an argument. I was wrong.

"Clary, how many times am I going to have to tell you? No one here, including me, is ever going to hate you. It's not your fault that things are changing. It's the way of the world." I sighed, unconvinced but not in the mood to argue.

"We should probably go. I have to meet Sebastian at the beach," I said reluctantly. He nodded and stood up, his t-shirt lifting up and showing a bare piece of his flat stomach as he stretched. I looked away before he could catch me staring.

"I'll hide out for a while so if Kaelie asks where Seb's been, he can tell her he was hanging out with me." I smiled thankfully at him, not wanting to start anything with Kaelie. I didn't plan on there being much of a first date with Sebastian. I was just going to meet him there, talk for a little and pretend like I wasn't eager to leave, and then get out of there as soon as I could. I was only going on the stupid thing since it'd been one of Jace's conditions. We walked back to the village in silence and I waved goodbye as I turned and made my way towards the beach. When I got there, Sebastian was standing on the rocks, his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, I thought you were going to stand me up," he said, grinning. I forced myself to smile back as I stepped up on the rocks next to him.

"I wouldn't do that. So, what are we doing today?" I asked. Then I smiled again because it had been the same thing that I'd said to Jace this morning. Sebastian's smile widened and he gestured at the beach.

"Let's just take a walk. I've been needing to talk to you for a while." I hesitated, not sure I wanted to hear what he had to say, but followed after a while. He didn't say anything until we were about fifty yards away from the rocks, but I stayed silent and waited. "I don't really want this to be a date," he said finally. "Just hanging out."

"Perfect. I'm not ready to date anyone." It was completely true, but why did it sound like a lie to me? "I'm still just trying to adjust to living here."

"But that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about," he said and I looked up at him. He was shorter than Jace, but still taller than me. Which wasn't hard, since _every_one was taller than me. "I understand that you're not from around here," he said and I ignored the way that what he said made it sound like he thought I was from a different planet rather than a different continent. "But I'm sure things work the same way. When two people like each other they go out where you're from, right?" Now I was a little offended.

"Yes, Sebastian, I'm from New York. Not Mars." He grinned and continued.

"Well, you and Jace seem to like each other-." I stopped where I was and shook my head. I knew he wanted Jace and I to get together, but I was hoping he wouldn't actually mention it to me so I could play dumb and pretend I had no idea what he wanted.

"It's not like that. We're friends. Celine is making him show me how things work around here because he pissed her off. But that's it." He looked unconvinced, but there was a little disappointment in his eyes.

"So, you don't like him?" he asked.

"Not like that, I don't." Why, just like earlier, did that sound like a lie, too? I didn't like Jace like that. Period, end of story. I wasn't lieing . . . Or at least, I was pretty sure I wasn't lieing.

"Okay, just wondering. Maybe you'll change your mind." I didn't say anything, too confused over what was going on in my head. I was so distracted I didn't even see Sebastian's hand lift from his side until it touched my face, lifting my chin so he could cover my mouth with his. I jumped back with a gasp.

"What the hell! I thought we agreed that this wasn't a date," I said, crossing my arms angrily over my chest.

"It isn't. I just wanted to see if it was true that city girls kiss differently than island girls." My arms dropped away from my body. That wasn't what I expected him to say, not at all.

"And?" I wondered, feeling curious myself.

"I don't know. You didn't kiss me back before you jumped away. Mind if I try again? Just for an experiment? And then I'll never kiss you again, I swear." I thought it over, figured it couldn't hurt, and nodded. Sebastian took a step towards me and lifted my chin again before he slowly lowered his mouth down onto mine. I kissed him back this time, just to see what it would feel like. Because his question had me wondering if the same was true with boys. I'd had a fair share of boyfriends, none of them going very far, so I'd been kissed plenty of times to know that I could tell the difference if there was one.

And there was. With the guys from New York, it was like they were too eager and violent, slamming their mouths against mine and holding me against them tightly. I'd always thought it was the way it was supposed to be, but kissing Sebastian showed me that wasn't true. He kissed me gently and slowly for a moment, holding my chin in his hand like it was made of glass that might break if he squeezed it too hard. I pulled away first and stepped back, staring up at him.

"Well?" I wondered when he didn't say anything. He still had his hand in the air where it'd been holding my face, like he was too shocked to drop it. "Is it any different?" I asked.

"Very different," he replied but refused to elaborate when I asked him how. "Never mind," he said. "But Kaelie's probably looking for me so I'll see you around."

I smiled, liking how my date with had Sebastian ended.

* * *

**And there's her date with Sebastian. :D **

**Um, I have a problem. I. Cannot. Stop. Writing. It's getting out of hand, haha. I've almost finished that one-shot SongFic I wrote about before, I've been working on _this_ story, _and _I've been planning out two more stories. Jeez, I've never been this addicted to writing before, but I just can't stop. Honestly, I think it's all the reviews! And I'm really excited to keep writing, and hopefully post the one-shot and maybe start another story soon, too. :D **

**Hey, I'm sorry this one was posted so late in the day. But today was my first day of school, then fifteen minutes after I got out, I had to be at work. _Then, _I had to leave work early so I could run home and get ready, because I had to be back at school for senior/graduation pictures -which took _forever. _But hey, I'm still updating today, so you're not too mad at me, right? :) **

**Part three of five: UPDATED! Woo!**


	14. Thinking Mostly About Her

_**{Jace POV}**_

I'd told Clary that I would hide out for a while, so that was what I did. I walked back to the hammocks we'd made instead of doing chores and collapsed onto one. The sun beat down on me, making my shirt stick to my body, so I pulled it off and threw it on the ground next to me. What I really wanted to do was go to the beach and go swimming, but I couldn't do that since that's where Clary said she was going with Sebastian.

Thinking about them on a date made me clench my hands into fists again, a surge of anger running through me. Just the thought of her being with anyone else here but me pissed me off. I couldn't help but think it was me she should have been on the beach with. If it were me, I would grab her hand and twine my fingers through hers, always smiling. From when we were on the beach together earlier, I remembered that her hand fit pretty perfectly with mine. And when she smiled up at me, I'd pull her closer and lift my other hand to tangle it into her curly, red hair as I lowered my mouth down onto hers. I smiled as I imagined it, and I randomly and unwillingly wondered if Sebastian would kiss her. That thought had me seething again in a matter of seconds.

Why did I ever convince her to ask him? If I hadn't, we might have still been hanging out, talking about the places she'd gone and the things she'd seen. Before she got here, I never understood why my mom loved the idea of life off the island so much. But now, Clary's words had painted a picture inside my head, a picture I couldn't have erased if I'd wanted to.

The most interesting story to me was the one about the mountains in Colorado. There were mountains on the island but the ones she described had been different. She said they extremely beautiful, ranging in color from red to purple to pink to different shades of brown, with trees and random little bushes growing though the rock. And she said sometimes, they were so high that you couldn't see the top through the clouds and fog. The mountains on Okkar Eyja were gray like the rocks, no snow or fog, and you could see the tip because they weren't that tall. It was something I wanted to see for myself, make my own comparisons, but I knew it was impossible. There was no way to get off the island even if I did want to. And I didn't. I still loved where I was and the people I was with. I couldn't imagine a life without them. But knowing there was something more out there made me question my choice of never even wanting to explore anything else.

I stood up, feeling frustrated, and started undoing the knots that kept the hammocks tied to the trees. When my dad had taught me how to make them, he'd told me never to leave them up for too long so they didn't block the sunlight from the plants under them. I was getting angry that I couldn't get it undone when I heard a voice behind me. "Why are you taking them down?" I turned around and looked at Clary.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, shocked. "I thought you had a date with Sebastian." I tried to hide the anger in my voice, but I could tell she heard it. It didn't seem to bother her anymore, though. She walked towards me and dropped to the ground so she could get at the knot. It came apart in her hands easily and I rolled my eyes.

"I did. Sort of," she replied. She sounded almost self-conscious but I didn't know her well enough to be one hundred percent sure. And after my realization at the beach, I _wanted _to know her well enough to be sure. I wanted to know her so well that I could understand every look in her green eyes, every tone of voice she used, and every face she made. And, if I was lucky, I wanted to know what her lips felt like and how her bare skin tasted.

"And? Are you going to tell me what happened?" I asked, holding out my hand to help her up. She brushed the dirt off her knees and moved to undo the other knots.

"No, probably not. It was weird," she replied and I rolled my eyes again. Sebastian, weird? What an understatement.

"Are you going out with him again?" I wondered, watching as the hammock fell to the ground after she got the second knot undone.

"Absolutely not," she replied and I couldn't deny the surge of relief that flooded through me. I didn't say anything as Clary moved on to the second hammock and took only two minutes to get the knots untied.

"How do you do that? It would have taken me like half an hour to undo one knot," I muttered and she grinned.

"Nails," she replied, holding her hand out and fluttering her fingers at me. I smiled and her eyes left mine, traveling down to my bare chest. I hadn't realized I still had my shirt off and I waited for her to freak out again like she had this morning. But instead, she walked towards me with sure steps until she was only a foot away. I was too shocked to move when she lifted her arm and traced a finger across my chest, light as a feather, but it was like the touch swept beneath the surface and sent shocks through my nerves. I locked my muscles to keep myself from trembling. "How'd you get this?" she asked, her finger still on my bare skin.

I didn't know what she was talking about, so I looked down and saw that she was dragging her finger back and forth across a scar that stretched from my left collarbone to the top right corner of my chest. It was from an incident I remembered like it had happened yesterday, though I'd been eight when I got it. It was the first time I'd ever climbed a tree. I'd been about six feet up when my father spotted me, and I remembered the scared tone of his voice almost as if he were whispering it in my ear now. "Jonathan! Get down from there! You're going to get hurt!" he'd shouted, his voice absolutely panicked. But I was eight and stupid, and I wanted to prove to him that I could do it. So I'd continued climbing, until I was about five feet over my father's six foot three frame. I'd reached up and gasped a branch, unaware of the bees nest hanging from the end. And when it shook in my hand, three bees flew out and stung me simultaneously, startling me into releasing my grip. I fell off, and my shirt and chest got torn up by the tree as I tried to find a hold to stop my fall. The only thing that kept me from killing myself when I landed was my father as he caught me in his arms and held me until I stopped crying.

"Oh, that's a long story," I said, my voice quiet. Clary's finger traced the white line one more time before she stepped away, and I wanted to pull her back again. But I didn't.

"Am I ever going to get to hear the story?" she asked, her hand rising to her own chest. I could tell that this time, she wasn't going for her necklace but for the stitches she was still going to have in for a few more weeks.

I shrugged and got down onto my knees to start pulling apart the hammocks. Clary got down next to me and helped, her hands unweaving the vines faster than I thought she would be able to. I smiled at the thought that she was learning faster than I'd expected. "Why are you so curious about my scar?" I wondered.

"I was just wondering. It almost matches mine," she said back and I looked up. She was looking down at her body, her hand gently pressed against her chest.

"Does it hurt?" I wondered, and she shrugged.

"No, not anymore. When I first woke up it did, though. I could barely think through the pain." I didn't say anything, thinking about the first time she'd tried to stand up. It had looked like she was going to pass out where she stood.

"You never did tell me how you got that," I said matter-of-factly and she laughed before she started talking. She told me the story of how she was trying to move around the boat after she'd landed in the water. I winced when she explained how her foot had gotten caught on a bench across the bottom and she'd fallen, landing on the corner of a metal box filled with food and water. "What do you remember about being in the boat?" I wondered.

"After I passed out from the pain, nothing. I remember hearing the boat crash against the rocks but I was too far gone to even care what was going on. And then I remember being carried somewhere, by you apparently, and then the next thing I knew I was lying in a bed listening to you and your mom talk."

"About what?"

"Well, mostly about what was wrong with me, like the dehydration and malnourishment and blood infection. Then, I remember you asking if I was going to live and Celine said she was surprised I wasn't awake already."

"Oh, yeah, I remember that." My mom had pressed a rag soaked with cold water on Clary's forehead and then freaked out when she pushed her head into it. It made me smile to think of her shocked expression.

"How long had I been in there by then?" Clary asked and I thought about it, twisting a vine in my hands.

"About two days. And then you were unconscious for another four before you woke up again." She didn't say anything and I looked up, shocked to find that her face was red. Then I remembered what had happened the first time she'd regained consciousness, how she'd sat up and the blanket had fallen away from her naked body. To prevent her from seeing in my eyes what I was thinking about -again-, I dropped the vine to the ground and stood up. My muscles ached from bending down for so long in such a weird way, and I stretched my arms above my head and smiled as my joints cracked. The leaves overhead weren't doing very much to block the noonday sun and I rubbed my hand across my face to wipe away some of the sweat. Clary giggled and I looked down at her. "What?" I asked, confused. She shook her head and laughed harder, pointing at her face. I had no idea what she was trying to say so I tilted my head to the side and studied her. "Seriously, Clary, what is so damn funny?" I asked, trying to sound serious. But as I watched her laugh, I couldn't help but smile. She really was adorable.

"Your hands were dirty when you did that, dork. Now you have dirt on your face." I sighed and used the back of my arm to wipe it off but she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Nope, you missed it." I tried again but she giggled as she stood up, wiping her hands on her shorts before walking towards me again. I watched her curiously until she reached me, stopping only a few feet in front of me. I wanted to pull her closer like I had been thinking about earlier on the hammock, but I left my hands by my sides. "Here," she said, reaching her arm up. I didn't move as her fingers pressed against my cheek and her thumb brushed against my top lip. She met my gaze and our eyes held as her fingertips rested against my face. I resisted the small urge I had to lean my head into her hand, and the even bigger urge to lean down and kiss her. Even though resisting was just about the hardest thing I'd ever done in my life.

* * *

**Jeez! She sure touches him a lot for someone who doesn't like him, huh? :) **

**Hey! I posted my one-shot SongFic last night! And it would mean a whole lot to me if you read it and reviewed and let me know how I did. I've been stressing about it for a long time -which is why I keep writing about it in my author's notes, but what can you do?- and it'd be great if you could just ease my anxiety just a little and let me know if it sucked or not. **

**And that, folks, was part four of five. Only one more this week! **

**P.S. Tomorrow's chapter won't be up until later in the day. I have school, then work, then band practice. So I'll be getting home late, but I promise I will still post it tomorrow.**


	15. Dreaming

_**{Clary POV}**_

I stared into Jace's eyes and realized that I had lied to Sebastian when I told him I didn't like Jace. Because I did. A lot. I had just been refusing to admit it to myself after everything that had happened between us. Did it make me sick to have feelings for someone who'd been so cruel to me? I didn't know, and I no longer cared. I left my hand against his face for an immeasurable moment, unable to look away from his eyes. I noticed his face was tipping slowly towards my hand so my fingers were pressed more firmly against his skin, and his eyes were closing a little, becoming heavy lidded. Suddenly, more than anything, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel his perfect, full lips against mine, and I wanted my senses to be filled with him: his smell, his taste, the feel of his skin. And I wanted to see if it was any different from kissing Sebastian or if . . .

Then his eyes snapped open and I stepped back, dropping my arm to my side. I cleared my throat in embarrassment and looked down at the vines we'd unraveled, sadly shocked back to reality with his sudden reaction. "Sorry," I said quietly. When he didn't reply, I realized I would have to be the one to change the subject. "What do we do with these?" I said, pointing at the ground.

"Nothing. We can just leave them here but we couldn't leave them up because they would have blocked the sunlight from the plants." I nodded in understanding and waited for Jace to –sadly- put his shirt back on before we started walking back to the village in silence. I was still wondering why I'd touched his chest like that. But I just couldn't help it after I saw his scar. It looked kind of like mine, but longer and more curved, with other small scars surrounding it. And of course mine was still covered in stitches. And then I'd touched his face. What was I thinking?! I mean, I liked him but he so obviously didn't feel the same way. He was only putting up with me, like he'd told Kaelie. We weren't even really friends, I realized. More like acquaintances. And I still wasn't completely convinced he didn't hate my guts.

When we got back to the village, there was a kind of happy excitement in everyone's face as we passed them. I looked at Jace with a question in my eyes but he looked just as confused and curious as I suspect I did. We walked deeper into the village and I followed Jace up the ladder and around the house to the room he was sharing with Celine. She was standing in the middle of the room, looking down at someone who was lying on the bed. I was immediately worried that something bad had happened, but then I realized the person on the bed was a woman, sitting up and smiling with her hands across her stomach and tears in her eyes. The worry I felt went away, but the curiosity grew.

"Mom, what's going on?" Jace asked, though I expected that he figured it out already and was asking for my benefit. Celine turned around and grinned at us like she just won the lottery. But I was almost positive there wasn't a lottery on the island.

"Trisha is pregnant!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together excitedly. I smiled, even though Trisha was one of the few people on the island I hadn't met yet.

"Congratulations," I said to the woman and she thanked me, seeming to look through me with her shiny brown eyes. Jace congratulated the woman, too, and then grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room. "What?" I asked as he pulled me into the room they'd given me. My new clothes were piled in one of the dressers and the calendar was still hanging on the wall. He walked over to it and flipped a few pages randomly. "Jace, what?" I asked.

"I figured we should give my mom and Trisha some privacy," he said, looking at me. I shook my head and sat on the bed, pulling myself back with my hands so I could lean against the wall.

"I don't completely understand why it's such a big deal. I mean, I get it why Trisha is happy but the whole village is freaking out," I muttered as he continued walking around the room. He stopped at the dresser that I'd laid the brush Celine had made for me on and picked it up. I watched as he twirled it between his fingers, back and forth, like a nervous twitch.

"In a village like this, with no one ever coming in, every baby counts. To keep the village from completely dying out, people need to have kids. So, it comes to reason that people would be happy that there's another baby on the way." His voice sounded like he was annoyed and I sighed, closing my eyes. His moods changed so often that it stopped bothering me. "Well, it's hot. I'm going to go to the beach. Want to come?" he asked suddenly, his voice back to normal. I opened my eyes and smiled at his hopeful expression.

"Thanks but not today. I think I'm just going to go to bed. I'll see you at dinner, though." He nodded and grinned, already on his way out the door.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where I'll be." I laid down on my back and fell asleep right away, almost instantly dropping into a dream, the first one I'd had since coming to the island.

_I was on an unfamiliar beach, my necklace in one hand and a shark tooth in the other. I looked closer at the shark tooth and recognized it as the one Jace wore around his neck. A cool breeze blew across the beach and sent chills down my back and raised goose bumps along my arms, but I ignored it as I stared across the water. There was something coming, small and white on the horizon, but I couldn't figure out what it was. As it got closer, I recognized it as a speed boat with someone standing on it, looking right at me like they could see me, even over such a great distance. I stood up without giving myself permission to do so and looked back at the two necklaces in my hands. For some reason, I had a feeling I could only choose one. My hands clenched into fists on their own around the necklaces and flipped over so they were palm down. They clenched tighter for a moment, and then one of my fists opened and a necklace fell into the sand. _

_I stared at it, watching as the silver chain and heart shaped diamonds threw rainbows of light across the sand around it. _That wasn't what I meant to do, _I thought to myself, but I couldn't make myself bend to pick it up. Instead, I pulled Jace's shark tooth necklace over my head and looked back up to watch the boat. It was close enough that I could see the person was a woman, but I still couldn't see their face. Then, they screamed my name and I knew who it was. _"Mom!" _I screamed and then the boat was in front of me, my parents jumping out and running to me. I was swept up into a hug that nearly crushed the life out of me but I couldn't complain because after all that time, my parents found me. They found me. _"I want to go home," _I heard myself say and they led me onto the boat. It sped away and I stared at the island until I could no longer see it. As soon as it disappeared, it felt like a part of me was ripped away, leaving a gaping hole the size of a baseball in my chest. I sucked in a pained breath and collapsed, falling off the boat and into the water. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make my arms or legs work, and I sunk deeper and deeper into the water until I was swallowed by blackness. _

I sat straight up, gasping for air. I felt like I'd really drowned and I could feel a ghost of pain in my chest. It took me much too long to convince my body that I had more than enough air and I looked down to see a small –but growing larger- red stain on my shirt over my heart. So, the pain was more real than a ghost . . . I pulled the neck of my t-shirt down and saw that a section of my stitches was ripped open. With a sigh that hurt my chest, I jumped up and walked around the side of the house to Celine's room.

"Clary!" she said, smiling kindly at me. I was hiding my chest so I could explain what happened before she saw it. I didn't want to give her the wrong idea and have her worry unnecessarily about me.

"Hi," I said quietly, my face getting hot with embarrassment. "I fell asleep and had a bad dream, and I must have moved the wrong way or something. Because when I woke up, I . . ." I stepped through the door and dropped my arms from my chest so she could see the stain, and her expression immediately turned to one of concern.

"Oh, dear. Come on in, we'll fix you right up." She took my hand and drew me into the room, where she had me lie on my back and pull my shirt down just enough to where she could see the part that ripped open. I did as she asked and she dabbed a cold cream on it that immediately made the wound go numb. I seriously appreciated that when I saw the wickedly sharp needle she used to sew it back up again. "Do you remember the dream that caused this?" she asked and I nodded, closing my eyes as she sewed. It wasn't something I ever wanted to see.

"Yeah, I was on a beach I didn't recognize, but I think it was somewhere on the island because when my parents showed up, all I said was that I wanted to go home. Well, I dropped my necklace in the sand and left it there," I said, purposely leaving out the detail that I'd chosen Jace's necklace over my own. I still couldn't figure out why I couldn't control which necklace I chose. And, for some reason, I think Celine would jump to a conclusion I wasn't ready for her to be at. "I don't know why but I just couldn't bring myself to pick it up. When I couldn't see the island anymore, it felt like . . . I had lost something that I couldn't bear to lose. There was this awful pain in my chest and I fell off the boat and drowned. That's when I woke up to find the stitches had ripped open." I gestured at the cut as she tied off the thread or whatever it was she was using to fix me.

"What was it you think you lost?" she asked. There was something in her voice that told me she knew exactly what I'd left behind that hurt so badly. But I ignored it and told her my theory.

"It must have been my necklace, right? Because why would I just leave something I love so much like that?" Celine didn't say anything back to me, but her eyes sparkled with a secret that I was too tired to try and pry out of her. Instead, I laid my head back and lifted my hand to run it over the diamonds in my necklace. It truly was one of the few things I loved on the island and losing it would be like losing myself. After all that's happened to me, just the _thought_ of misplacing it was absolutely agonizing.

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**Poor, poor, _oblivious _Clary. Anyone think they know what conclusion Celine came to that Clary isn't ready for? And did anyone else roll their eyes at her? Haha :D**

**And wow. I've gotten quite a few reviews wondering what Sebastian thought of the kiss between him and Clary. But I don't want to add it into _this _story because I think that'd be awkward and wouldn't fit, so should I write a one-shot in Sebastian's POV explaining what he thought of the kiss? I'm totally up for that if that's what you want :) Just let me know.**

**Well, sadly, here's part five of five, the last one I'm posting this week. But no worries, I'm already pretty much done with chapter sixteen. I just need to tweak it a bit, so it should be up by Monday at the latest. :) **


	16. Seen In A New Light

_**{Jace POV}**_

I sat on the rocks and stared out over the ocean, thinking about Clary touching my face, so gently it raised goosebumps along my arms. I'd found that I couldn't completely resist the urge to lean my head into her hand, so I'd pressed it a just little closer. Then, I'd realized what I was doing. I wasn't ready for her to know that I had feelings for her yet. Not when it was so obvious that she didn't feel the same way. So, pressing my face into her fingers was just a little too intimate for her to not have figured it out, but she had seemed just as embarrassed as I was. It was like I could still feel the heat of her fingers on my cheek, and I closed my eyes to let the feeling wash over me.

"Jonathan!" someone called, but it wasn't the voice I wanted to hear. I turned around to see Aline, Jonathan's twin sister, running towards me. Her straight, dark hair flowed down her back and swayed as she moved, and I grinned. She'd always been one of my favorite girls our age on the island, though we weren't close enough to really be considered good friends. She was just funny and sweet and always told you what she was thinking without sparing your feelings. It was actually an endearing quality and I'd had a crush on her for it. Until she'd admitted to the entire village that she was gay. "Hey," she said, sitting next to me.

"What's up, Aline? We don't talk anymore," I said and she smiled.

"Yeah, well that's because you're always with that new girl Clary. And you're lucky. She's kind of gorgeous." I laughed and pushed her with my shoulder.

"Isn't John into her, too?" I asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, but I think _I'm_ more her type," she replied. I laughed again and this time Aline joined me, throwing her head back. A bird in the trees nearest us cawed loudly and took off. "So, are you and her dating?" I stared at her for a minute before I shook my head, and she raised her eyebrows at me. "Why not?"

"It's not like that," I replied pathetically.

"Well, it should be. Make a move, idiot, before someone else does. I mean, she's not going to wait for you forever." I turned my head sharply towards her, putting a kink in my neck. I rubbed at it and Aline laughed again again. "Yeah, I know you have a while since she's not leaving any time soon. Or ever, for that matter. But Jonathan has a plan that I figured I should warn you about." I sighed and looked out over the water again, hiding my hands so Aline couldn't see them clenching into fists.

"What makes you think I want her like that?" I asked and she scoffed loudly at me. Another bird took to the air with an annoyed screech.

"Who doesn't want her like that? Besides, it's not like you hide it very well, Jace. But that's because you've never had to before. I mean, I remember when we were little and you told Trisha that you really liked her." I grinned, remembering. I was six and Trisha was thirteen at the time, so obviously nothing happened, but I didn't understand why people thought I was dumb for telling her.

"Oh, yeah. Then, afterwards, you punched me and called me an idiot."

"That's because you were an idiot, Jace." I grinned and she smiled back. "So, just do the same with Clary. She's probably had much more practice hiding her feelings where she comes from. Actually, she probably has more experience in all things physical than the rest of us. She's really pretty, so I'd imagine she had a lot of boyfriends. Probably did a lot of stuff with them, too. Stuff we've never even heard of." I laughed and rolled my eyes: she was starting to sound a little like Sebastian. "But this plan that my brother has might work, Jonathan." Aline was the only person, besides my mom, that I ever let call me Jonathan, even though it was her brother's name, too. She usually called him Johnny and me Jonathan. I didn't know why, but I didn't mind it when she said it like I did with almost everyone else. "I'm not going to tell you what it is but you might want to get her before he goes after her." With that, she stood up, waved, and bounded back down the beach and out of sight, leaving me staring after her in shock.

~LOTI~

The rest of the week went by quickly and without incident. Clary didn't touch me again, no matter how much I secretly wanted her to, and Jonathan didn't approach her once, so I started to wonder if maybe Aline was wrong. Kaelie didn't say another word to Clary and it almost seemed like Sebastian was avoiding me, but I knew I'd get him to talk to me if I could just get him away from Kaelie.

On Sunday, the day of the new week celebration, my mom made Clary come into our room after chores. She looked at me, searching for an explanation that I didn't have. "Okay, Clarissa, I have a gift for you," my mom said and I was surprised to see the horrified look on Clary's face.

"No, please, you already do too much!" she protested but my mom cut her off.

"Don't worry about it. This isn't a gift from me. It was left for you by my door this morning and I thought you might like it." Suddenly, her eyes shifted to me. "Jonathan, go outside for a few minutes." I was extremely curious about what the gift was and who left it for her, but I knew the tone in my mom's voice meant that she didn't want an argument. So, I ducked through the doorway and leaned against the wall a few feet away where I could hear them talk but not see anything. "Here it is," my mom murmured, her voice excited. "Try it on." I heard a shocked gasp and then fabric rustling.

"Oh my gosh, it's beautiful!" Clary exclaimed a few moments later, and my curiosity shot up even more.

"It looks great on you. Okay, Jonathan, you can come back in now!" I walked back into the house but skidded to a stop when I saw Clary. She'd changed out of her usual clothes and was now wearing a white dress. It had thin straps, a low neckline, and something that looked like a ribbon tied just below her chest, before the skirt of it flared slightly away from her legs and ended just above her knees. She looked extremely beautiful, even more so than usual, and I couldn't stop staring.

"What?" Clary asked, her cheeks turning as red as her hair. I shook my head and blinked a few times.

"Nothing, just surprised," I replied and her lips pulled into a small smile. And then my mom was standing between us, her back to me so she could talk to Clary. I leaned around her a little so I didn't have to stop looking at Clary.

"I want you to wear that tonight to the celebration," my mom said, taking Clary's hands in her own. Clary nodded and smiled again. "I never had a daughter, so can I do your hair?" She nodded again and her grin widened.

"No one has done my hair since I was eight. I used to love it," she murmured. Then her and my mom were walking out the door, sweeping by me without a second glance. I shook my head and collapsed onto the bed, feeling almost sorry for Clary.

~LOTI~

I fell asleep until dinner, when the sounds of the drums woke me up. I'd been dreaming of something good, but I couldn't remember any of the details as I stood up and walked outside. The sun was just barely visible over the trees, and the celebration was already in full swing. A few of the more outgoing people in the village were dancing together, and laughter drifted up to me. My eyes scanned the crowd for Clary but I didn't see her, so I climbed down the ladder and walked to the fire. Imogen handed me a plate and I sat down on a chair to eat. That's when I saw Clary walking towards me. I choked on a bite of food and sat forward so I could breathe again without ever taking my eyes off her. If I had my way, I'd never take me eyes off of her again.

She was still wearing the dress with a pair of white sandals that I recognized as my mom's. But her red hair was down this time, thick and wavy, framing her beautiful face. I saw strands of white ribbon that matched the one on her dress braided into a few strands of her hair, and her cheeks were a rosy color. She was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. As she continued walking towards me, everything else was blacked out, like she was the only point of light in a starless night sky. Her jade green eyes sparkled at me as she smiled and I felt my heart splutter in my chest before it picked up in double time.

"Hey, Jace," she said, sitting on a chair next to me. I didn't answer, whether because I didn't know what to say or I couldn't stop gaping long enough to frame a coherent sentence I didn't know. "Yeah, I know. Your mom turned me into a life-sized Barbie doll. But I don't mind. It wasn't as bad as it sounds." Still, I couldn't bring myself to talk, but Clary didn't seem to care as she stared at the fire. "I still don't know where the dress came from because your mom didn't know. I wonder who'd do something like that." I finally broke through the haze in my brain to talk.

"Well, there aren't many people who make clothes in our village." She turned to me and asked if I had any guesses. I thought about it and the truth hit me like a oak branch to the chest. The best clothing maker in the entire village was Jia, Aline and Jonathan's mother. _The plan!_ I thought to myself, panicked. Before I could say anything, my mom stepped up to the fire, stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled loud enough to get the entire village's attention. The music abruptly cut off and every eye in the village turned to my mother.

"Hello, everyone," my mom said, and there was a rush of kind and respectful greetings. "As you know, my husband used to be the guitar player around here." Suddenly, everyone was so silent that if you listened hard enough, I'm sure a leaf could be heard snapping off a tree branch. But my mom continued as if she didn't notice. "When he left, we lost a rich part of the music that was played at these celebrations. But, if we give her enough encouragement and respect, I have a feeling that someone could bring it back." I turned to look at Clary, who was staring at my mom with her jaw dropped and wide, terrified eyes. She looked at me, but I was too shocked to help her. "So, can we get a round of applause for Clary?!" my mom finished, gesturing at the frozen girl next to me. Everyone looked at her with big smiles and started clapping loudly, sending another bunch of birds flying into the air. Those poor animals probably hated us.

"Um, okay." Clary's voice sounded young and frightened, but she stood up and moved to the fire, where someone who I didn't pay any attention to held the guitar out to her. She took it into her shaking hands and pulled the strap over her shoulder. "I don't know any of the songs you play, though." My mom patted her on the back and told her to play whatever came to mind. I watched in awe as Clary took a deep breath and shut her eyes, the fire illuminating her face. Then her fingers started moving over the strings and there was a deep silence in the village, like all life on the island had stopped to listen. After a few seconds of playing, Clary opened her mouth and started singing, her voice harmonizing perfectly with the music. My jaw dropped as I listened; I'd never heard her sing before. In those few minutes when she sang, I saw her as a completely different person. I could imagine her on a platform, dozens of spotlights focused directly on her. I could almost hear millions of people screaming her name, chanting it like a prayer that only she could answer. And I finally understood what she'd left behind by coming to the island. With that kind of voice and talent with a guitar, she'd had a bright future, brighter than anyone I'd ever known. But it was all taken away from her, and she was thrown somewhere that she could never do anything more with what she was best at.

I hadn't realized I'd closed my eyes until I opened them again and looked around the circle of people pushing closer and closer to Clary. My mom had her hand over her mouth, her eyes shining wetly, as were many other people's. I couldn't believe it; Clary's voice had actually moved people to tears. And then the song was over and the applause was thunderous. I was suddenly on my feet, staring at Clary because I was unable to make myself do anything else. Then, her eyes opened and focused on me right away, and I saw a deep pain in them, like she knew what I'd figured out. She knew she was amazing but that she'd never be able to show the world what she could do.

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**Yeah, Aline is gay in this story . . . :D And next chapter, you get to meet Jonathan! Chapter seventeen should be up on Wednesday, or Thursday at the lastest if I can't get much free time with everything going on. **

**By the way, Wednesday is my birthday. August 29th. I'm turning seventeen. And I have to work that night. Can you guess who makes my schedules? My mom. When I mentioned it to her and asked why she scheduled me to work _on my birthday, _she goes, "It's just another day. And I figured you could use the money." I didn't even know how to respond to that, so I just walked away. But, hey, I was wondering . . . can you maybe review this story as a quick birthday present for me? It'd make me super happy to have a bunch of reviews to read while I'm at work! Please?! :D I'm just wondering. **

**So, there is chapter sixteen for you. I hope you liked it. **


	17. First Almost Date

_**{Clary POV}**_

I opened my eyes and immediately trained them on Jace, who was staring at me like I was a complete stranger to him. But I couldn't bring myself to care. Everyone was still clapping louder than even the crowd on the boat had, and I couldn't help but smile. It really was nice to know that even though I couldn't do anything more with it, I could still entertain a crowd of people with my voice. "Oh, Clarissa, that was beautiful," Celine murmured, pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back as the applause died down and everyone just stood there beaming at me. "I knew you could play guitar but I didn't know you could sing," I heard Celine whisper and I shrugged.

"It wasn't something I thought I'd ever get the chance to do again. So, I figured there was no point." I could see the pain in Celine's smile, and I knew she was feeling sorry for me. But I didn't want her to. Pity was the last thing I needed or wanted. The people who'd crowded around me when I played began to wander off to different areas around the fire, talking excitedly. I didn't even attempt to discern what the conversations were about as I subconsciously searched the crowd for Jace. He was still standing by the chairs that we'd been sitting at earlier, staring into space with a shocked look on his face, and I smiled at his mom before I made my way towards him, handing the guitar to the guy who'd given it to me before I performed.

"Clary, that was . . . incredible," he said when I reached him and I smiled shyly, looking down at the ground. "I'm serious. You are really amazing." My cheeks got hot, and I could imagine they turned an even brighter red than my hair, but I met his gaze and my grin widened when he smiled. I hadn't realized before what a nice smile he had. His cheeks dimpled and his eyes sparkled like amber.

"Thanks, Jace," I said finally and stepped around him to collapse onto a chair, my legs still shaking. I'd never had stage fright before in my life, but that had been nerve wracking. How could I be sure that a group of people who'd never heard music like the only kind I knew how to play would like it? But they obviously did, thank goodness. Jace sat in the chair next to me and I turned my head to look at him. His face was suddenly closed off, like he'd pulled on a mask to hide all his emotions. "You okay?" I asked and he nodded once, curtly. I'd been slowly getting used to his weird mood swings, but it actually ticked me off a little today. We'd been getting along pretty well for the past few weeks and now he was treating me like I'd just washed up on the beach yesterday. I snorted in disgust and turned to look at the flames, gritting my teeth, thinking he really just needed to get the hell over what was bothering him and talk to me about it like a mature adult.

"What?" he asked from next to me and I turned to glare at him. My expression must have caught him off guard because the mask slipped for a second before he replaced it too quickly for me to read anything in his eyes. The anger inside of me swelled and popped, and I couldn't stop myself from answering his question honestly. Maybe a little _too _honestly.

"I'm kind of getting tired of these rapid mood changes of yours. I mean, really. One minute we're talking and laughing and the next, you're ignoring me like I insulted you. One minute I want to punch you in the mouth and the next, I want to . . ." _Kiss you. _I'd been about to tell him I'd wanted to kiss him. Luckily, I cut myself off before I could, or that could have been disastrous.

"You want to what?" he asked quietly, but I shook my head and glowered at the fire pit again. I needed to get a hold on my emotions before I spoke to him again, or I knew I'd say something I'd regret. Then, before Jace could ask again, there was a body blocking my view of the fire. I looked up into the black eyes of Jonathan as he smiled down at me.

"Um, hi," I said. It was the first time we ever spoke and I felt kind of awkward. Which was weird, since I didn't usually feel awkward around people when I first met them.

"Hey. I wanted to tell you that you did amazing up there tonight," he said, his voice deeper than I'd thought it would be. I thanked him and he smiled wider, flashing his teeth. "Do you like the dress? I was worrying I'd gotten the size wrong but it looks great on you." I looked down at the white dress that I'd fallen in love with the moment I saw it and then back up into his eyes again. They were so dark it was almost scary.

"Y-_you _made this?" I asked, gesturing at my body. Jonathan looked a little surprised, but the grin stayed in place.

"Yeah. Well, I helped, sort of. My mom made it. Didn't anyone tell you my mom is the main clothes maker in the village? I figured someone would have figured it out and told you." I turned to look at Jace, who was staring at Jonathan with the mask still on. The anger I'd been feeling towards him reared its ugly head again. I'd specifically asked him if he had _any _idea who made the dress but he'd told me he hadn't. I looked at Jonathan again, gritting my teeth.

"No, I didn't know that. But thank you. The dress is beautiful." He grin grew –impossibly- wider and he held his hand out to me. I stared at it uncomprehendingly for a moment before he spoke.

"Want to dance?" he asked and my eyes flicked to Jace without my permission. He was staring at me now, his expression slightly angry and more than a little horrified. Well, he'd been seriously pissing me off today. So, I smiled and pressed my palm against Jonathan's, letting him help me up and pull me towards the group of people dancing on the other side of the fire pit. He didn't release my hand as we walked, or after he spun me. I giggled despite myself. I hadn't actually danced in a long time, not since the homecoming dance my freshman year. Jonathan took my hands in his and weaved his fingers through mine, and we started swaying back and forth and moving together. I laughed as he spun me again, and then brought me closer so he could dip me backwards. It was odd how aware I was of the hard muscles of his forearm against my back. But I didn't care. I was having more fun than I'd had in a long time.

"So, how do you like it here?" Jonathan asked. His smile made me want to smile and his laugh was contagious. He was a charming guy, and good looking now that I saw him up close.

"Well, it's very different from New York," I said and he nodded, his face serious for the first time. I'd liked it better when he was smiling. "But I don't mind it so much, actually. If there was anywhere I'd want to get stranded, it'd be here." His smile lit up his face again, and I found myself smiling back without conscious thought to do so.

"Why?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious. That was another thing that I found I liked about Jonathan: everything about him seemed genuine.

"Well, the island is insanely beautiful. No one can deny that. And I'd always loved the beach, so it's great that it's so close to the village. I'm learning things I'd never thought I'd need to know. And the people I've met are all great." He raised his eyebrow and spun me again.

"Oh? All of them? Even Kaelie?" he asked as he pulled me closer, and I laughed.

"Kaelie is special. And it's not like she hates me for no reason," I replied and he laughed with me.

"Do you know the reason?" he asked suddenly, but I lied and told him I didn't. It wasn't my secret to tell that she was in love with Jace. I mean, that could hurt her, Jace _and_ Sebastian, and that was just something I wasn't willing to do -no matter how much Jace frequently pissed me off. The music cut off suddenly, and I noticed people were yawning and stretching, making their way back to their houses. Jonathan and I stopped dancing simultaneously but he didn't let go of my hand. And I didn't try to pull it away. His hands were big and warm, and I could feel the calluses from his years of working in the village. Obviously making clothes wasn't the only thing he did around here. "Want to go for a quick walk on the beach?" he asked with a grin and I nodded without even having to think about it. I was still pretty mad at Jace, and I wasn't tired enough to go to sleep yet.

Jonathan kept a firm yet gentle hold of my hand all the way to the beach, and I could feel his thumb occasionally rubbing along the skin of my wrist. It felt nice, and raised a small spattering of goose bumps on my arms. We walked to the edge of the sand and I bent down to pull off my shoes, carrying them in one hand as we made our way parallel to the water. The feeling of the wet sand between my toes and the cool water washing over my bare feet was becoming familiar. If I could, I'd spend all my time on the beach, just feeling the sun against my skin as I played the guitar. It was reassuring that my parents would eventually be looking at the exact same sun, maybe thinking about me as often as I thought about them. I missed them so much it hurt sometimes.

"Thinking about your parents?" Jonathan asked gently, and I turned my head to look at him. There was concern in his eyes.

"Why would you think that?" I wondered and he shrugged. His grip tightened a little around my fingers.

"That's what I'd be thinking about. I mean, I know it can't be easy to be yanked away from the only life you've ever known and thrown into another one that is completely different." I smiled sadly and looked out over the water, feeling the breeze coming off the ocean blow my hair back. It was the first time I'd worn my hair down since I'd gotten here, and I hadn't realized how much I'd missed the heavy feel of it on my shoulders. There were a lot of things about me that I'd changed since coming to the island, and changing at least one thing back –even if it was only for a few hours- made me feel better.

"You're right. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I lost everything, all at once. I only have two things left to my name, you know that?" I said, my voice sad. He shook his head. "I can't bring myself to consider the things made on the island _mine_ since they'd belong to someone else if I wasn't here. My necklace and my black dress are the only things I actually _own. _So, yeah, it's not easy." He pulled me to a stop and turned me to face him, his expression serious again. I watched as he lifted his arm and traced a finger gently down the strap of the dress. I locked my muscles to keep form shivering as his fingertip bushed the bare skin of my shoulder. I didn't know why, but I did not like the feeling at all. It was making me increasingly uncomfortable, actually.

"Well, this is yours," he said. "If you weren't here, this dress wouldn't have ever been made." I smiled sadly as he brought his hands up to cup my face. "Is it too soon for me to kiss you?" he asked and I sighed heavily, resisting the urge to pull back.

"Yeah. I'm not really ready for anything more than a friend right now," I replied. Again, just like when I'd said it to Sebastian, it sounded like a lie to me. Jonathan nodded and dropped his hands from my face, one of them reaching towards mine. I let him wind his fingers through mine again, and he gripped it firmly. "Is this too much?" I grinned and shook my head, squeezing his hand. He returned the pressure and we turned around to head back to the village.

And that was when the date took a turn for the worst, and I realized Jonathan was not the person I'd thought he was.

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**And there's Jonathan . . . Please don't hate me for the cliffie. I won't do them often, I promise! :)**

**Okay, so I finished this chapter in school today. But I won't be getting home tomorrow until around eleven o'clock, so I was planning on posting it on my birthday. But when I got off of work today, and saw the amazing reviews and numerous emails saying someone added me to their favorites or alerts, I just couldn't wait. You guys are absolutely amazing, and I can't even explain how happy you've made me. I basically cried when I saw my inbox, haha. :D Thank you so, so much. And I hope this chapter makes up for how awesome you guys are. I really do. **

**Another thing . . . I got a lot of reviews -not just today, either- saying that you can't wait for Jace and Clary to kiss. And they will, I promise. Actually, I swear on the life of my car. (My car is my baby and I love him to death, so me swearing on him is a big deal, trust me, haha). But the truth is, the way I have this story planned out . . . their first kiss won't happen for quite a few more chapters. I know that sucks, but it's how I planned it. And there is a reason for it taking so long, I swear. You'll just have to be patient with me, and I promise it'll be worth it. So please don't be mad at me. Please? It'll happen. No worries.**

**Chapter eighteen will probably be up on Wednesday or Thursday, but Friday at the latest. So, that'll be three chapters this week! And two in the past eight hours or so, alone! :D I hope you like this chapter, too, and keep reviewing like you did today! It makes me update more often and write so much faster! **

**Thanks again! Is it too soon for me to say I love you guys? Haha :D**


	18. Idiocy and Medaling Friends

**_{Jace POV}_**

_One minute I want to punch you in the mouth and the next, I want to . . . _She wants to _what?_ I wondered as I watched Jonathan drag Clary over to where almost everyone was dancing and laughing, just to the side of the fire pit so they were completely illuminated. It really pissed me off that she was with him and not me, but I didn't want to show it. Not yet I didn't, at least. I figured I'd already shown too much by telling her how completely amazing she was. And I was sincerely hoping she hadn't figured out that, when I'd said she was amazing, I wasn't just talking about her talents. That was a part of it, of course, but I was also talking about how beautiful she was and how selfless and kind and funny. Just not in so many words. If she figured it out, then she knew much more than I was ready for her to know.

I watched angrily as Jonathan pulled Clary closer over and over again, spinning her around and dipping her backwards. My fingers kept clenching into fists, and then unclenching when I noticed my knuckles turning white from the force I was putting into it. The smile on her face was absolutely dazzling, and I wished it were me making her grin like that. I could just imagine the look in her beautiful eyes as her full, pink lips pulled up at the corners: excited and happy. To be with _me_. I closed my eyes, imagining it was _my _arms around her slim body, _my _hands holding hers, _my _words making her smile and laugh. If I was honest with myself, I'd admit that I wanted to get up from the chair I was sitting in and stalk over to them, just to punch Jonathan full in the face and pull Clary close so I could hold her against me. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and not let go until she knew exactly how I felt, and told me if she felt the same or not. One way or the other, I wanted to know what she thought of me. And, damn it all, I wanted to kiss her until she forgot that Jonathan was the one to ask her to dance first. I wanted her to only think of _me, _and I didn't care how selfish that sounded, even to my own brain.

"Ah, Jace, I told you," Aline said, sitting down next to me. I hadn't even seen her coming over to me, though her smile was as bright as ever with the firelight dancing off of it. I had eyes only for Clary as she danced and twirled in Jonathan's arms. She was smiling and laughing as he spun her around, and I couldn't help but think again that that should be me who she's dancing with. Not that fucking asshole. "You should have gone after her when you had the chance."

"Mm," I murmured, not admitting it but not denying it either. What was the point in denying it when she was already positive that I had feelings for Clary? I doubted I'd be able to change her mind, no matter how hard I tried or what I said. But it was never easy admitting I was wrong, and ever harder admitting someone else was right about something you don't want anyone to know. "So, the dress was the plan, huh?" I wondered, changing the subject to distract her from her questions of how I felt about Clary. Aline threw back her head and laughed.

"Not all of it. That was just to make Clary feel like she owed him something." I looked at her and raised my eyebrows. What kind of stupid plan was that?

"That's kind of cruel and manipulative," I muttered and she shrugged, watching her brother twirl Clary again. I followed her gaze and felt my anger deepen when Clary giggled and blushed as he pulled her close and then dipped her backwards.

"Yeah, there's something seriously wrong with him. But it worked didn't it?" It was my turn to shrug now and I avoided her gaze. I realized that I'd had faith in Clary to see through that kind of thing, but I also had a feeling that the dress wasn't the only reason she was dancing with him. I remembered her glancing at me as he held his hand out to her. Could it have been because she'd been mad at me? _No. It couldn't._ I looked back at Aline and asked her what the rest of the plan was, my curiosity just slightly stronger than my anger. "He's going to ask her if she wants to go for a walk on the beach," she said and then sighed dreamily. "Isn't that just so romantic? And then he's going to kiss her. He's convinced that after all of that, she'll be his." I gritted my teeth and didn't say anything, but I could feel her eyes on my face. "But, honestly, I really don't think she's going to kiss him." I looked at her again and she looked completely sincere, like she truly believed what she was saying. I felt a small amount of the anger I was feeling drain out of me, replaced by just a small sliver of hope that Clary wasn't falling for Jonathan and his manipulation.

"Oh yeah? Why not?" I wondered eagerly, and Aline looked at me knowingly.

"Well, for a few reasons," she said matter-of-factly. "First, it's only been like, what, a month since she got here? I highly doubt she's going to want a relationship with anyone right now, especially someone she doesn't know all that well. Second, I doubt she's a 'kiss on the first date' kind of girl. Third, I have a feeling she's got her eyes on someone else." I didn't say anything, staring at Clary. Her curly red hair caught and held my attention as it shimmered in the light from the moon and the fire combined. The music stopped and she was talking to Jonathan, her hand still in his. Then they were walking away, out of the village towards the beach. And I suddenly disagreed with Aline, the hope draining out of me again. "Ugh, boys are so oblivious!" she exclaimed suddenly and I jumped, turning to look at her. She was staring at me angrily. "She's only with him to make you jealous, Jace, you stupid asshole!" I raised my eyebrows at her, surprised. That just wasn't possible. I'd been spending a lot of time with Clary since she got here and her attitude towards me hadn't changed. Wouldn't I have noticed if she felt the same way about me that I did about her?

"It's obvious to everyone except you. And, apparently, my dear brother Johnny over there. I tried to talk him out of going after her but he wouldn't listen to me. That's why you have to show Clary how you feel and then Jonathan won't have a choice but to back off." I snorted and rolled my eyes. Jonathan wouldn't back off if Clary was what he really wanted. It wasn't in his family's nature.

"I think you got this all wrong," I told Aline and she stood up, rolling her eyes at me like I had at her. She shook her head at me.

"Fine, don't believe me. But if you don't make a move soon, she _will _eventually move on. And maybe it won't be to Jonathan, but there are a few other guys here who would want her, too. And maybe a girl or two." She winked quickly, and then walked away without looking back, and I leaned back in my chair, feeling suddenly exhausted. Everyone had gone back to their houses, so I was alone by the dying fire. Then someone sat in the chair next to me and I looked over to see Sebastian shaking his head. _Not another one coming to tell me how stupid I am for not making a move_, I groaned in my head. _I already know._

"Dude-," he started but I lifted my hand to cut him off. Of course, being who he was, Sebastian completely ignored it and spoke anyway. "Clary is really talented." I looked at him in surprise: that hadn't been what I expected him to say. I nodded slowly and stared at the fire pit again. The flames were completely gone, leaving only glowing embers, and the occasional ash floating up into the sky. "And I saw her with Jonathan. Tough break, man." I exhaled loudly. _That _was more or less what I expected him to say. But expecting it didn't make it piss me off any less. I was getting tired of my friends trying to medal in a relationship they knew nothing about, if I could even _call _it a relationship.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? If she wants to date him, she can go right ahead. It doesn't bother me!" I lied angrily. I hoped he'd interpret my anger as annoyance at people continuously telling me the same thing.

"My ass, Jace. I think she's the only one who can't see how you look at her." I sighed again and sat back, knowing he'd think it was admittance. And it may as well have been. I was too tired to deny it anymore tonight. "And I'm guessing you haven't seen how she looks at you, right?" I didn't say anything because I was pretty sure that I'd have noticed if she had been looking at me. "Yeah, thought so. I'm sure she won't go out with Jonathan if you-," he started but I cut him off.

"Damn it, Sebastian, don't. Forget it." He narrowed his eyes at me and leaned back in his chair.

"I kissed her," he said suddenly and I turned to look at him, thinking he'd changed the subject.

"Who?" I wondered, my curiosity piqued again.

"Clary," he replied and my anger was back, full force, in only a second. It took all of my willpower not to punch _him _in the mouth. But I resisted. _At least long enough for him to tell me the story_, I told myself. _Then_ I could punch him. "Did she tell you we went on a –sort of- date?" he asked and I nodded. I was afraid that if I opened my mouth I was going to say something that might get me in trouble. Or make my best friend hate me. "Well, afterwards, I kissed her. I wasn't trying to steal your girl or anything, dude, I swear. I just wanted to see if it was any different than kissing Kaelie." I raised my eyebrows, still afraid to speak, but he seemed to understand what I wanted to know. "Yeah it was. Like, _crazy_ different."

"How?" I wondered, the anger dissipating. My hands unclenched and I relaxed back into my chair. Now that I knew it was just one of Sebastian's usually idiotic tests, I really couldn't be mad at him. Andd I had no claim on Clary. She could kiss whoever she wanted, no matter how much just the _idea _pissed me off.

"Find out for yourself, Jace." Without another word, he stood up and disappeared up the ladder leading to his house. So, I was alone again, _finally._ I stared at the smoldering fire pit for another five minutes, countless questions bouncing around inside my head. Did Clary kiss Jonathan or had Aline been right? Were they still together? What was the difference between kissing her and kissing Kaelie? Did Clary really look at me like Aline and Sebastian seemed to think she did? I highly doubted that, since there was no way I wouldn't have noticed, but I still couldn't stop thinking about the possibility.

I stood up in frustration, my head pounding. All I needed was to sleep for the next couple of days or so. I climbed the ladder slowly and started walking towards the room I shared with my mom. Without my permission, my eyes flicked into Clary's room and stayed there. She was lying on the bed on her back, her chest moving with her even breathing. There was still ribbon in her hair, spilling out across her pillow, and I saw that she was still wearing the dress. I moved on with a sigh and laid down on the floor, staring at the ceiling with my hands crossed under my head. When I was talking to Sebastian, I'd been exhausted, but as soon as I'd seen Clary, I'd woken right up. Figured.

* * *

**Poor Jace. He really should get those anger problems checked out . . . and now he knows about Sebastian's kiss with Clary! Did anyone expect Sebsatian to tell Jace himself? :D**

**So . . . I know. I'm a day late. And I know I told you no excuses but honestly, this has been the week from hell, and I haven't gotten a moment to myself since Tuesday. **

**As I've mentioned before, Wednesday was my birthday. I got off of work at eight, and then came home, hoping to see my mom for the first time that day _at all. _Turns out she went out with her friends. So, I was all depressed that my mom didn't even bother trying to _see _me on my birthday. And I really didn't want to be alone on my 'special night', so I went to my best friend's house for the night. **

**On Thursdays, I have practice after school from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. Directly after school every Thursday, I got out with a few of my friends and we get lunch and hang out and stuff, right? And I was absolutely fine all day. Then, at about 6:50, twenty minutes after practice started, I got blasted with the _worst _migraine I've ever had in my entire life. It was so bad I was literally clawing at my temples with my fingernails and begging whoever was close enough to listen to make it stop. I ended up leaving my car at school over night because I couldn't drive myself home. So I laid in bed in excruciating pain all night Thursday. **

**Then, yesterday, the day I said the chapter would definitely be up by, I got into this huge argument with one of my best friends in the entire world. I don't even know what exactly happened to cause it, but it was a stupid argument, and I haven't talked to him since. I was seriously depressed. And to make me feel better, my other best friend took me out to dinner and to a late showing of that new movie 'The Possession'. I know that doesn't sound all that bad, but my friends mean the world to me, and I don't think I've ever gone this long without talking to him. It sucks. **

**My week from hell may not sound all that hellish to some, but it killed my mood. Even now I'm just tired of everything. I just want things to go back to normal. I want life to stop kicking my ass, you know?**

**I'm not looking for pity reviews or anything, honestly. I'm just telling you why I couldn't post before today, and begging for forgiveness. Really, I'm trying my my best to update as often as possible, and it sucks when I can't keep my promises to you guys. So, am I forgiven? I really am sorry, and I'll try my hardest to never, ever let it happen again. Okay?**


	19. Pissed

_**{Clary POV}**_

I could hear Jace climbing up the ladder outside. My eyes snapped shut when he walked by my room, and I expected him to keep going. Instead, I could hear his breathing as he paused outside my door. I kept _my_ breathing as even as I could so he would think I was sleeping, and he eventually sighed and walked on. When his footsteps faded, I matched his sigh and opened my eyes again. It was expected that I wasn't going to be able to sleep after what had happened with Jonathan.

When we'd gotten back to the edge of the village, Jonathan had pulled me to a stop just inside the trees. "What?" I asked. His smile was still on his face but there was something mischievous in it now, and it wasn't something I liked. If freaked me out a little. He reached up and brushed my hair out of my face with his fingers, the hand that he was using to hold mine releasing me. With one palm against my face and the other suddenly on my waist, he pulled me closer and leaned down towards me. "Wait, stop. What are you doing?" I'd asked. He pulled back slightly and smiled wider.

"I figured you'd changed your mind," he said and I shook my head, trying to twist away from him. But he held me tight and pulled me even closer.

"No, Jonathan, I didn't change my mind!" I said, reaching up to pull his hand from my face. But he was _strong, _which again told me he did more than just make clothes.

"You will," he replied and slammed his mouth against mine. I struggled my hardest to get away, but he reached his long arm around my back and bowed my body against his. His lips forced mine open and moved them in uncomfortable, unfamiliar patterns. I put my hands on his shoulders and pushed him as hard as I could, expecting him to just hold me tighter. But he pulled his mouth away from mine and stepped back. I stared at him, my hands clenched into fists by my sides, my chest heaving in anger. "So, when are we hanging out again?" he asked, his smile cocky.

"Never!" I replied through my teeth. Obviously the whole 'charming, genuine guy' thing had been an act. Now everything about him was arrogant and cocky. And was totally pissing me off. "What is wrong with you?" I asked.

"Nothing. Everyone loves me," he replied, sounding utterly confident and self-satisfied.

"Ugh," I snorted in disgust. "Maybe the people here aren't as smart as I thought they were."

"Nah, everyone here is smart. I'm just a fantastic actor." He stepped forward again and reached towards me with his hand. But he obviously didn't expect me to lift my arm and slap him as hard as I could across his face. Again, I was never a violent person, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And I was _ticked off._

"Don't you ever, _ever _touch me again, you arrogant jerk." Feeling just a little smug over his shocked look, I turned around and walked into the village. I just wanted to sit outside alone for a while, but I saw two people by the fire and I was too scared of Jonathan to go back to the beach by myself. So, I climbed up the ladder and collapsed into bed, still in the dress. I gathered my hair in my hand and pulled it to the side so it was spread out across the pillow next to me. It wasn't until then that I realized my whole body was shaking, trembling in fear and anger. I hadn't been this shaken up since I landed on the water in the boat. Jonathan could have easily overpowered me and forced me to do a lot more than kiss. I knew I was extremely lucky that he hadn't, but I also knew that there was a chance that he still might have. And I'd probably just pissed him off and made it worse for myself by slapping him.

After a few minutes passed since Jace walked by, I got up to change. I didn't want to wear the dress Jonathan had made for me ever again. I grabbed a pair of shorts and a tank top out of one of the drawers Celine had filled with clothes for me and threw off the dress. It hit the ground with a reassuring thump, and I pulled on my pajamas before I climbed into bed again. I felt much more comfortable this way and fell asleep almost instantly.

~LOTI~

Jace and I left for our chores in the morning in silence, and I tried to hide the fact that my hands were shaking again. When we went to breakfast that morning, Jonathan had caught my eye and smiled at me. It wasn't a kind smile or even an arrogant smile. It was the smile of a predator when he's got his prey cornered with nowhere to run. When he turned his head back to keep talking to whoever it was he was talking to, I saw the thin scratch along his cheek from my nail.

"Are you still pissed at me?" Jace asked suddenly as we walked up to the creek he'd used to teach me how to determine clean water. We turned and walked parallel to it, towards wherever he was going to teach me the day's lesson. I shook my head and looked down at the ground. Celine had given me a pair of very comfortable white flip flops to go with the dress, and I was wearing them today instead of the other shoes she'd given me. "Is something wrong?" My eyes suddenly filled with tears and I turned my head away from Jace just as they spilled over and dripped off my chin.

Jace's hand was suddenly on my arm and I almost cringed away from it as he turned me to face him. When I refused to look at him, instead staring down at the ground, he put his finger under my chin and lifted my face. "Clary, what is it?" he asked worriedly, ignoring the tears that were pooling in his palm. I could see the concern in his golden eyes as he forced me to stare into them. My breathing was turning to gasps as I fought to control myself.

"He scares the hell out of me," I whimpered when I realized he wouldn't let me go without an answer. He tilted his head to the side and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Who?" I reached up to wipe the tears off my face.

"Jonathan." Then he looked completely shocked. It would have been a comical expression had I not been on the verge of a panic attack.

"Why? I thought you went on a date with him last night." I ignored the anger in his voice, thinking about what I was going to say. When I thought back on it, Jonathan never really did anything that should scare me this bad. He didn't threaten me or hit me. It was just the look in his eyes after I slapped him and the strength he had when he held me -along with positively knowing he could so easily hurt me in worse ways- scared me like nothing ever had. The kiss hadn't even been that aggressive or violent. Just forced and unwanted. How did I explain my fear to Jace when I couldn't even really explain it to myself?

I shook my head and pulled my face out of his hand so I could look back down at the ground. Springy plants darted up through the dirt and I nudged them with the toe of my sandal. "He just does," I whispered. Jace didn't say anything for a moment, and I peaked up at him through my eyelashes. He was looking back at me with concern and when I met his eyes, he held out his arms. I raised my head in surprise and only hesitated a second before I stepped into them. They wrapped around me as I pressed my cheek to his shirt, closing my eyes. I could feel the muscles of his chest against my face and the muscles of his stomach under my hands, and I didn't want him to let me go. He was so strong, and I felt so safe when his arms were wrapped around me like that. My tears stopped falling and I slowly put my arms around his waist and fisted the back of his shirt in my hands.

"It'll be okay, Clary. Want me to talk to him?" Jace asked suddenly and I giggled, shaking my head against his chest.

"No, that's okay. I overreacted." He loosened his arms and just as I feared he was going to release me, he pulled back to look down at my face.

"What did he do?" he asked gently. And I suddenly couldn't lie. I tightened my hands in his shirt and tried to subtley pull myself closer to him.

"He kissed me. Even after I specifically told him I didn't want to date him. Ugh. Well, I slapped him and then he smiled at me this morning. But . . . it wasn't really a smile. It was more like a sneer. Either way, I have a feeling that he wants to hurt me," I muttered. Jace pulled me back against his chest and rubbed my back with one of his hands. I sighed and let myself relax against him, closing my eyes again.

"Want me to do something about it?" he asked, his voice sounding kind of distracted.

"No, but I want to do something. Is there like a knife or something around because what I want is to cut up that fucking dress and burn it!" I growled through my teeth. And suddenly his chest was vibrating under my cheek. He laughed loudly, and I couldn't stop myself as I giggled with him. His arms seemed to tighten around me for a second before he let me go, still laughing, and shook his head at me.

"I think that can be arranged," he said finally and I grinned, wiping the wetness off my face with my fingers.

We started walking along the riverbank again without saying anything, but it was a peaceful silence. I was getting used to the smell of nature, and the scent was almost comforting to me now. A cool breeze blew through the forest and shook the jade leaves above us. If I listened hard enough, I could hear the sounds of small animals and birds as they went about their everyday lives. And, not for the first time, I realized that this island was literally teeming with life. But everything there lived in a harmony that I doubted could be achieved anywhere else.

I wasn't paying any attention where I was going, so I didn't notice right away when we first stepped off the dirt and plants and onto large rocks. The stones were covered in a slimy green moss and embedded into the ground, half in and half out of the river, with areas of sharper rocks jutting out every few yards. I didn't notice until I felt my foot slipping out from under me. My arms flailed around, trying to find something to grab onto, just as Jace tried to catch me. His hands grabbed at my waist but my momentum pulled us both down, him completely on top of me. I felt my shoe go flying and then a sharp pain in the bottom of my foot, but I was too distracted by how close Jace's face suddenly was to my own.

He propped himself up on his elbows and stared at me. I could feel his chest moving and the wash of his breath across my face, and the hard lines of his body pressing me onto the rocks. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice husky. I nodded, unable to speak. _Kiss me, _I chanted in my head, letting it show in my eyes what I wanted him to do. _Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. _His breathing hitched and he leaned towards me a little, his lips only about half a foot from mine. I could tell he wanted the exact same thing that I did, that he _wanted _to kiss me, so I had no idea why he hesitated. I was just about to lift my mouth to his in impatience when he suddenly rolled off of me and jumped to his feet. He held his hand down to help me up and I took it, despite how annoyed I suddenly felt with him. Why didn't he just kiss me?!

Jace let go of my hand immediately once he'd pulled me up and I mistakenly put my weight on my right foot. I gasped in pain and almost fell again in my haste to lift it from the ground. "What?" he asked, one hand reaching towards me. I shook my head and looked around.

"Nothing, I'm fine. Can you get my shoe for me so I don't have to step on any rocks?" I asked without looking at him, and he immediately grabbed my shoe and handed it to me. I pulled it on and again tried to put weight on my foot, hoping I'd just stepped on a rock, but it still hurt. With my teeth gritted against the pain, I walked on, not bothering to wait for Jace.

We walked in silence again, but it wasn't anything like before. This was awkward, filled with anger and tension. Pain lanced up my leg with each step, growing in intensity as the morning wore on. By the time we started back towards the village, I was forcing back tears. I felt like whimpering like a baby. When we reached the clearing of trees we'd built the hammocks in, Jace stopped without warning. "What?" I turned to face him but he was looking back the way we'd just come from, his emotionless mask firmly in place yet again.

"Um, I think I dropped something on the rocks. I'm going to go look for it," he told me without meeting my eyes. I bit my lip against my growing annoyance.

"Fine." He turned and walked away quickly, and that's when the pain hit its peak. I wasn't even moving, but suddenly my entire leg was on fire, radiating flames up through my hips and stomach. I looked down and stared in shock at the once white sandal on my right foot. It wasn't brown like dirt or green like the moss I'd slipped on. No, it was red. _Blood _red. I could feel myself start swaying and I knew I wasn't going to make it back to the village. I wasn't even sure I could take a single step. "Jace," I tried calling, but it was just a whisper. I watched his back as it moved farther away. "Jace," I said a little louder but he still didn't hear me. With a deep breath that somehow sent a shot of pain straight down to my foot, I screamed, "Jace!" He spun around with a shocked look in his eyes, and I couldn't even find the energy to talk anymore. The trees around me blurred as my whole body trembled uncontrollably. My vision tunneled, getting black around the edges. Using my last bit of strength, I mouthed, "_Help_," hoping he'd understand. I saw his eyes widen a little just before the world turned black and I collapsed.

* * *

**Don't be mad at me! If I had my way, Jace would have kissed her! But he chickened out. Damn it, Jace! . . . :) **

**Anyway, I couldn't sleep last night so I finished this chapter a little earlier than expected. So, I hope an early chapter makes up for my late one yesterday! :D **

**The next chapter will be a longer one, so it'll take just a little longer to write. I'm hoping to get it up by Tuesday night. Sound good? **

**Review, please, because I love it! :) **


	20. My Fault

**_{Jace POV}_**

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I chanted in my head as I walked away from Clary. I'd seen it in her eyes that she _wanted _me to kiss her, almost as much as I'd wanted to. But I'd chickened out. I could feel her eyes against my back as I moved away. I hadn't really dropped anything, but I was too embarrassed to keep walking with her in the awkward silence. The tension had been building between us since I'd helped her up off the mossy rocks and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Jace!" Clary's voice was filled with panic and pain and I turned around, surprised. And I immediately could see something was wrong. It looked like she was shaking, shaking hard, and her face was way too pale. I froze in shock and stared at her. "Help." There was no volume behind it but her lips shaped the word . . . just before she fell to the ground. But I was already running by then. I scooped her unconscious body into my arms without completely stopping and ran as fast as I could back towards the village. We were just about halfway there when her eyelids fluttered open and her eyes focused on me.

"Oh, Clary!" I said, slowing to a walk. My voice cracked on her name. "Are you okay? What just happened?" I asked.

"Jace, I-," she said before her words were cut off. Her back arced in my arms and I fumbled to keep a hold of her and not drop her as her bloodcurdling scream tore through the forest. Dozens of birds took to the air but I was staring in horror at Clary's face. Her mouth snapped shut and her gaze focused on me again, filled with a terror and pain that made my chest tighten, before her eyes rolled back in her head and her body went limp in my arms.

"No, Clary!" I screamed, sprinting again. My vision got blurry as I tore through the trees, adrenaline pumping through my body. Only sheer force of will kept me upright as I stumbled over branches and plants, but I somehow managed to get to the village in record time without falling. A group of four people were walking past the opening where I broke through the trees into the village and they looked at me in shock. I was too frantic and upset to put names to the faces I'd been seeing all my life. "Help!" I yelled and they jumped forward. Robert was the first one to reach us and he tried to get his arms under Clary's body to pull her away from me. But I shook my head and backed away from him. "No! I need to get her to my mom!" I said, my voice unrecognizable.

"You're too emotional, Jace. Let me take her. If you tried, you'd just hurt yourself and her in the process." I looked down at Clary in my arms. Her face was peaceful again, like it had been on the beach, and I told myself that she was jut sleeping. She couldn't be dead. Could she? As an intense pain shot through my chest, I held her body out and Robert took her. She was barely out of my arms before he was turning around and running towards my house. I watched him go, suddenly unable to move. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying until I reached up with my sleeve to wipe to sweat and dirt off my face. Why was I crying? Worry? Fear? Guilt?

I'd heard her gasp in pain after she stood up, and the weird hissing noises as we walked. Why hadn't I made sure she was okay? Why did I ignore the small, pained whimpers I'd heard from her a couple of times? Because I was too embarrassed from chickening out. Because I was petty and selfish and stupid and cowardly. And now, Clary was in my house, possibly dying, and it was my fault. If I'd only asked again or made her tell me or stopped her and checked her myself, we could have prevented this. I wouldn't have had to watch her collapse to the ground or hear her scream in agony as her body twisted in my arms. I wouldn't have had to watch those amazing green eyes roll back into her head until only the whites showed.

I found I could move again , and I ran to my house and up the ladder. Before I could even pass the door to Clary's room, a hand shot out and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop. I turned and saw Robert, his expression grave and his shoulders tight with tension. "You can't go over there, Jace," he said and it felt like someone had just pulled the deck out from underneath me.

"Oh my God," I gasped. "Is Clary . . . is she-?"

"She's alive," he said, cutting me off. "But she's in pretty bad shape. You're moms working on fixing her up and she doesn't need you in the way. Give her some room to work and she'll find you when she can." His words were almost harsh but his tone was gentle and kind and filled with concern. I felt exhaustion wash over me, and I turned without another word and went into Clary's room. I collapsed onto her bed and fell asleep, pressing my face into the pillow that smelled just like her.

~LOTI~

"Jonathan." I sat upright in bed, looking around in confusion. My mom was standing by the bed with her hands clasped in front of her. I knew her well enough to know that this was a nervous habit, something she did to keep her hands from fluttering around.

"Ugh, what a bad dream!" I said. I shuddered, remembering the details. I'd been with Clary, and she'd passed out and then I'd had to carry her all the way back to the village. She'd screamed and thrashed around in my arms and I'd been so scared and it'd been all my fault. My imagination could come up with the weirdest, most vivid dreams sometimes.

"I'm sorry, Jonathan, but I need you to come with me." I stood up without asking questions and followed her out of the room and onto the deck. She was using her 'bad news' voice and I had an awful feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. We walked around the deck and then into the room I'd been sharing with her. I paused in the doorway when I saw Clary, my stomach now feeling like it'd fallen through the floor.

She was spread out across the bed, a blanket pulled up under her chin so all that showed was her head. But that was enough for me to know that something was horribly wrong. Her skin was pale with an almost greenish tint, and her lips had absolutely no color. Her teeth were chattering like she was cold but her thick brown hair stuck to the sweat on her forehead. "Mom," I said, my voice shaking.

"She's going to be okay, Jace," she replied, taking my hand in hers. "But I'd like you to help me. I have to go help Tricia with some things because of her pregnancy. And I need you to stay here with Clary."

"What's wrong with her?" I asked, staring at Clary's face. It wasn't peaceful anymore.

"I don't know how but she cut her foot open. It was very, _very_ deep. She got some bacteria in it and got another blood infection." I felt myself relax. Slightly. She'd gotten over her first blood infection just fine, right? But something in my mom's expression told me there was more to it than that. "Jonathan, her immune system isn't used to this kind of bacteria. Not like it had been with the kind in the rust. So, she will get better, but it will take longer for her to get over it."

"How long?" I asked but my mom didn't answer. "How long?" I asked again, a little more forcefully. She sighed and turned to look at Clary's unconscious form.

"About two weeks, at the least." I blanched. With the cut from the boat, she'd only been unconscious here for six days. Not even a full week. She wasn't going to be okay for double that?! "Jonathan, I have to get to Tricia. Sit with her, talk to her. She's got a very bad fever so keep rewetting the cloth and keep it on her forehead. I should be back in an hour." She squeezed my hands and left me alone with Clary.

I stumbled over to the bed and sat down in the chair by the head of it. After I wet the cloth and put it on her head, I took Clary's hand and pressed it to my mouth. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. Almost as if she could hear me, her eyelids fluttered open. "Clary!" I slid off the chair and dropped to my knees by the bed, keeping a firm hold of her hand. I used my fingers to brush the hair out of her face and her eyes focused on me.

"Jace," she breathed, her voice filled with pain.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault!" I said back. She shook her head a little but I could see that it caused her pain. "No, stop. Don't do that. I'll go get my mom." I moved to leave but her fingers squeezed mine with a surprising strength in her condition. Actually, it wasn't so surprising. This was Clary, the strongest person I knew. The girl who was wrenched away from her life by some asshole, thrown into a completely different life with a village of strangers, and still managed to hold her head up high.

"No, Jace," she whispered. "Don't leave. Stay with me."

"I will," I replied and I think she tried to smile before she lost consciousness again. Unable to help myself, I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to hers, just once, though I knew she wouldn't remember it, and that it wouldn't be the same when I actually built up the courage to do it while she was awake. Her mouth was warm and soft, so soft. And I couldn't wait to kiss her for real.

For the next week, I barely left Clary's bedside. My mom knew I was falling apart from guilt, so she didn't refuse when I begged her to be let out of my chores for a while. Everyone in the village visited at least once, just to ask how she was doing. I didn't know whether I appreciated their concern or felt annoyed by it. I mean, it wasn't like she was dead, just unconscious. But the sympathetic glances they shot at me made it look like they were apologizing for a loss. The visits were short and ran together until I'd forget who was just there a minute after they left. I was too worried about Clary. Only two times were memorable.

The first was the day after Clary had told me to stay with her. I was holding her hand and staring at her face when Kaelie walked in and put her hand on my shoulder. "Jace," she said and I looked up at her, startled. I hadn't even heard her come in.

"Kaelie," I replied and looked back down at Clary. Her breathing was uneven and pained, and her hair was still sticking to her sweaty forehead and neck. But, still, she was so beautiful. Kaelie didn't say anything, and I looked up after a couple of seconds. She was staring at Clary, too, but I imagined my expression was a little less indifferent. "Something you wanted?" I asked tiredly. Her jealousy and anger were getting old; especially in this situation.

"Jace, I'm sorry about Clary. This must be hard on you." The sincere concern in her voice touched me. I knew it was more for me, but since I was only upset about Clary, it was almost indirectly aimed at her.

"It is," I said. Kaelie turned around and left after that and didn't come back again. I guess showing even that much concern, however indirectly it was, was too much for her.

The second time was even more memorable. I'd been pressing a wet cloth to Clary's forehead on the Friday after that, when Jonathan walked in. Her hand tightened in mine like she sensed his presence, and I turned around in my chair. I remembered what she'd told me about him scaring her and I wasn't going to let anything happen to her. Ever, ever again.

"Hey, Jace, what's up?" he asked, grinning. He looked totally relaxed, like there wasn't a girl almost dying a few feet away from him.

"What do you want, Jonathan?" I asked, getting pissed. The unexpected hostility in my voice must have shocked him because he stared at me with his eyebrows raised for a few moments before he spoke.

"Came to see my girl, dude. What's so wrong about that?" I clenched my teeth together. It was hard to determine if I was angry because he was lying about her or if it was just the thought of her being someone else's girl. I couldn't tell but suddenly I just really wanted to punch something. His face would work perfectly in this situation.

"Nothing. But if she really was your girl, why weren't you here the first day she got sick? Just doesn't make sense to me," I said, calling him out on his lie. "Seems to me like she's not actually your girl." Anger flashed in his eyes but he hid it quickly, stepping up to the side of Clary's bed. Her hand tightened even more around mine again, even though it was clear she was still in a feverish sleep. I welcomed the pressure because it kept me from jumping up and hitting Jonathan. A fight was the last thing anyone needed around here.

"Oh, she's my girl," Jonathan said, reaching his hand out towards Clary's face. She gasped and wiggled away from his hand, moving a few inches towards the wall and dragging me with her. Jonathan looked at my hand and then glared at me. "You can go now. I'll sit with her," he said, a clear threat in his voice. I ignored it.

"That's okay. We're good here. But you're welcome to leave anytime," I replied. Just to piss him off, I lifted Clary's hand and held it to my lips like I had when I first sat by her. He took a step towards me and I grinned at him. Maybe fighting Jonathan wouldn't have been the best idea in everyone else's opinion, but I knew it'd make _me _feel better. I put Clary's hand back down on the bed and stood up, readying myself for him to swing at me.

"Okay, boys, that's enough!" my mom said, walking into the room. She could obviously feel the tension but she ignored it as she stepped between us. "Jonathan, you need to leave. Now. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't come back." With one last hateful look at me that made me grin, he spun on his heel and stalked out of the room. I laughed but cut off quickly when my mom turned to glare at me. "And you, Jonathan Christopher! How dare you! Clary is unconscious right now and you're acting like a child. I asked you to help me while I helped Tricia." I bowed my head in embarrassment and shame; she was right. I was being immature. "How do I know I can trust you to take care of her without starting fights with everyone who walks through here?" she asked.

"I can handle it," I muttered and then looked up at her. "Clary told me that Jonathan scares her. She said she thinks he wants to hurt her." My mom raised her eyebrows.

"Why would he want to hurt her?" I shrugged and sat back down on the chair, picking up Clary's hand again. Her fingers wrapped around mine and I reached forward to brush the hair from her face. "I've got to go back, Jonathan. Remember to keep the cloth on her head. And, please, behave. I don't want to worry about you fighting with people." I waved her off without looking at her and then went back to stroking Clary's hair.

~LOTI~

She didn't wake up again until nine days after she'd cut her foot. I'd just gotten back from doing my chores –my mom wouldn't let me blow them off anymore- and I sat down by her bed and took her hand almost without thinking. There wasn't any change in her expression at first, but I stared at her anyway. Then her eyes fluttered open and she gasped. "Clary!" I exclaimed, leaning forward. Her eyes flew around the room like she was trying to figure out where she was before they came to a rest on me. They seemed to focus on me for a moment and then her body relaxed while her fingers tightened around mine.

"Hey, Jace," she said, her voice hoarse. She cleared her throat and frowned. Her jaw seemed to clench and she pushed herself up into a sitting position, but I jumped up to force her shoulders back down onto the bed.

"No! Are you crazy?! You can't get up yet." She gasped again as she settled back against the pillow and I stared down at her, the guilt back worse than ever. "I'm so sorry, Clary."

"For what?" she asked. "Wait, before you answer that, can I have some water?" I rolled my eyes and nodded, reaching over to the bottle of water on top of the dresser. She drank the entire thing before she spoke again. "Okay, now. What are you sorry about?" Her voice was still scratchy, which made sense since it'd been over a week since she used it.

"Everything," I said, sitting in the chair again. I was suddenly too exhausted to stand anymore. I buried my face in my hands.

"What does that mean?" I felt something on my arm and spread my fingers to see that Clary had reached out and touched my forearm with her fingertips.

"This is my fault. That you're hurt and sick. It's my fault." She opened her mouth to speak, probably to argue, but I cut her off. "I heard the pain in your voice, Clary. I heard it and I ignored it. If I hadn't, we could have kept you from having to go through all of this. Again."

"Oh, please, Jace," she scoffed, and I was shocked to hear annoyance in her voice. "You asked me what was wrong. I didn't tell you. What were you supposed to do?"

"Force you to tell me. Ask more than once. I don't know. More than I did," I argued and Clary shook her head.

"Forget that. I would have just gotten more pissed off at you and then been more unlikely to tell you." I could hear it in her voice that she was getting close to passing out again, and I tried to take advantage of her consciousness as long as I could.

"_More _pissed off?" I asked, smiling. "So, you were already pissed off?"

"Yeah, obviously." Her eyes closed slowly and I grabbed her hand again.

"Why?"

"Because. . ." she said, her voice fading. "You're stupid and oblivious." I wanted to say something, anything, but I knew she was already out. Her head slumped to the side and I leaned over to press my forehead against her arm. That's how I was when my mom found me. I had just fallen asleep when she pushed my shoulder. I jumped and almost fell sideways off the chair.

"Jeez, mom," I said, stretching as she laughed at me. But her shoulders were slumped and she looked exhausted and sad. "Mom, what happened?" I wondered. I took her hand and led her to the chair, feeling more anxious when she all but collapsed into it. "Mom! Tell me."

"I did all I could, Jonathan. I couldn't reverse it." I kneeled in front of her and asked again what happened. She met my eyes and sighed heavily. "Tricia had a miscarriage. She lost her baby, and I couldn't do anything to help her." I took her hands.

"Oh, mom, that's horrible." She nodded and looked over at Clary.

"Yeah, she's really upset about it. How's Clary?" I told her about how she'd woken up and spoken to me, but I didn't tell her what she'd said. I wanted to try to figure it out for myself first. "That's a good sign. I can take care of her. You go get some rest, spend some time with Sebastian." I nodded and walked out, but stopped at the door and turned back.

"Mom, I'm going to go for a walk. I don't know if I'll be back before dinner." She waved me off, and I climbed down the ladder and walked towards the forest. People usually stuck to the same paths because they all led to the things everyone needed. But instead, I walked through a bunch of trees I doubted anyone had walked through in a long time and continued deep into the forest. I didn't stop for over an hour, other than the thirty seconds I took to take off my t-shirt. Suddenly, I heard something that I hadn't ever heard before. I didn't know how to explain it but it got louder as I walked, and I picked up the pace to find out what it was. The sound was deafening by the time I broke through the last of the trees. I skidded to a stop, my jaw dropping open as I stared.

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**I hope this chapter answers the questions you asked in your reviews! :D**

**So, on the last chapter, this story got it's first ever negative review. I'm not going to call it a flame since it wasn't saying my story sucked or anything, but it wasn't a positive review either. When I read it, my first reaction was 'God, I must suck'. And then it switched to 'crap, someone is unhappy with my story. I better change it'. But after a while, I realized something. The review said that the story is moving too slow. Well, some people may think that. And if they do . . . Okay. Sorry you don't like it. But I've planned this whole story out. I've done chapter outlines and everything. And it is moving at the pace I _want it to move at. _I'm really sorry if that makes some people unhappy, but that's how it is. I'm not about to change it to please someone, because I like this story just how it is. And from all the totally amazing reviews I've been getting, it seems to me a lot of you do, too. So if you're unhappy with anything about my story, I'm sorry, but I'm not changing it. I do appreciate people giving me their opinions though, and it sucks that I can't please everyone. But, well, what can you do, you know?**

**Anyway, here's chapter twently. I hope you like it. Keep reviewing, because it's awesome! **

**Next update will hopefully be on Thursday, but if not, Saturday for sure. I will not be able to post it Friday, though, if I can't post it Thursday. Just clear warning. And I won't make you wait longer than Saturday. I promise. **


	21. Awake Again

**Happy birthday, bunnylovej! This update is for you! I hope you like it! :)**

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_**{Clary POV}**_

"Oh," I moaned, rolling onto my back. The blanket that was spread over me threatened to fall off the bed, and I pulled it back with another groan. My head felt like it was going to explode into a million tiny pieces, and it felt like someone was trying to set the heel of my foot on fire.

"Are you really awake this time?" My eyes snapped open to see Jace, a bottle of water in his hand, grinning down at me. His amber eyes sparkled at me and set me slightly more at ease than I had been. I smiled and stretched my arms above my head.

"Did I talk in my sleep?" I asked and he shrugged, but his grin widened. It totally gave him away. "About what?"

"Nothing too incriminating," he replied. I laughed and crossed my hands over my stomach. That's when I finally remembered what had happened.

"How long have I been out?" I asked quietly, dreading the answer. Jace sighed, moved away from me and then came back a few seconds later with a second bottle of water. He handed it to me and leaned back in his chair.

"Sixteen days," he muttered. I closed my eyes against the headache that was intensifying in my left temple and radiating out through the rest of my head. "What do you remember?" he asked suddenly.

"The last thing I remember was feeling a sharp pain in my heel and then looking down and seeing that my entire sandal was covered in blood. Then I called your name and passed out. That's it," I said. He was silent for a few minutes and when I opened my eyes, he was studying me with his eyes narrowed slightly. "What?" He shook his head and stood up.

"I'll go get my mom." I nodded, feeling a little pissed at his closed off expression. I mean, seriously, weren't we passed this? All the cold, indifferent crap? It was getting old.

I stared up at the ceiling until Celine came in a few minutes later. I rolled my head on my shoulders to look at her and felt a smile spread across my face. She was almost bouncing, her dark eyes light and shiny and her lips pulled back into the smile I'd found comforting since the first time I saw it. It was so easy to trust her, and I wasn't too shocked to realize that I did. I trusted her with my entire life. "Morning!" I said, grinning from ear to ear. The realization about my trust for Celine made me feel safe and happy and . . . like I belonged. At least a little bit.

"Oh, Clarissa, I'm so glad you're awake!" She sat down on the bed next to me and bent down to give me a hug. I wrapped my arm awkwardly around her waist and gritted my teeth against the stabbing pain in my temple and forehead. "How are you feeling?" she asked and I wondered if she could read my mind.

"Awake," I answered but it came out sounding more like a question. Celine pulled back and looked down at me, her lips pursed and her eyes slightly narrowed. I sighed and easily caved. I just couldn't say no to her. "The bottom of my foot hurts and I have a really bad headache. But I'll be fine," I added quickly. According to Jace, I hadn't been up for sixteen days. I just wanted to stand up and walk around a little, just to make sure I still _could._ She didn't look completely convinced but stepped back as I slowly threw my legs over the side of the bed. Every muscle in my body ached as I pushed myself off the bed and stood up, but I gritted my teeth and smiled at Celine.

"Are you okay?" she asked and I nodded as I walked forward on my toes. I could feel each one of my heartbeats in my head as I moved closer to the door, but suddenly Jace stepped in my way, stopping so suddenly I almost ran into him. I hadn't even known he was waiting outside. My neck got hot when I looked down and realized I was wearing a pair of short shorts and a thin, snug tank top. And no bra. _What happened to my bra?!_

"Mom, I don't think she should be walking around yet," he said without looking at me. I narrowed my eyes and swayed on my feet a little. Celine jumped forward and grabbed my arm so she could help me back to the bed, and still Jace refused to meet my eyes. Maybe he could tell he pissed me off a little already. I hated when people thought they knew better than me what was _best _for me. If he'd said anything about it being 'for my own good', I would have punched him in the mouth.

"I'm fine," I said almost forcefully. Then my legs collapsed out from under me and I plopped down onto the bed. Celine looked at me like she knew I was lying and I moved to stand up again. "Really, I am. I just need to eat something and get used to walking again." No one looked convinced. "Really," I said again, getting painfully to my feet. I took a step forward without putting any weight on the heel of my right foot, and Celine shook her head. But I could see the small grin pulling at the corner of her mouth as she looked at me. She pursed her lips to try to hide it, and I bit back a giggle.

"That doesn't count, Clarissa," she said sternly and I smiled. She definitely sounded like a mom. Instead of hurting and making me miss my mom even more than I already did, it just reinforced the feeling of belonging I had around Celine.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed, sitting back down on the bed. I lifted my right foot and rested it on my left thigh so I could see the cut. What I saw made me want to throw up. The entire bottom of my foot was black and blue except around the cut. There was an almost shiny red surrounding the stitches, and my heel was swollen badly. "Ew," I murmured and I heard Jace snort from the doorway. I looked up at him and couldn't help but grin at his amused expression. Why couldn't I stay mad at this stupid boy? What was so special about him that made my emotions swing around wildly with every change of in expression on his handsome face?

That night, Celine wanted me to eat real food –as opposed to the soup or broth or whatever I'd been eating when I was unconscious- but she wouldn't let me go by the fire to join everyone else. Instead, she had Jace bring up my food and then sit with me in my room as we ate. Not that I minded, but I felt antisocial. I just wanted to be around people, which made sense after my isolation for sixteen days.

"You look sad," Jace said, sitting on the chair next to my bed. I shrugged and took a bite of my food to stall from having to answer. "Are you okay?" he asked. I chewed slowly and swallowed as I thought through his question. I wanted to respond as honestly as possible.

"I'm fine. It's just . . . I guess I feel kind of lonely. I haven't really _talked _to anyone for over two weeks. And when I have, I either don't remember it or it was about my dumbass hurting myself." He smiled and shook his head. Before he could say anything, two people walked into the room and my fingers automatically tightened on my plate.

"Hey, Clary," Jonathan said, winking at me from the doorway. A girl I hadn't met stepped passed him and smiled at me, and I couldn't help but grin back. She looked like a little girl when she smiled.

"Hi, Clary. We haven't met. I'm Jonathan's sister, Aline." She walked forward with her hand outstretched and I took it in my own, smiling again. She sounded kind of like a little girl, too. And she was pretty, with long, dark hair and sparkly eyes.

"Hi, Aline," I murmured and she smiled again.

"Well, I'm sure glad you're okay," she said, sitting on the bed next to me. "Jace has been a mess since it happened." I noticed that no one was paying attention to Jonathan, and that he didn't look happy about it at all. I just wanted him to leave. Hopefully somewhere far away. Like Guam. Or hell.

Aline," Jace said exasperatedly, his cheeks taking on a bit of color. I giggled with her and his blush deepened. The pink hue to his face just made him more handsome, and my breath caught in my chest. "Well, I felt guilty. I thought it was my fault. Still do," he said, looking down at his plate.

"What? That's ridiculous," I said gently, attempting to calm myself. My body's reactions to Jace were becoming completely rediculous. Whenever he was around, I felt like melting. "How would it be your fault?"

"Because I could tell you were in pain but I didn't do anything about it." He looked up at me and I could see the guilt in his eyes. It seemed like he was silently begging me to tell me he was wrong, but, well, he didn't even have to beg. Because he _was wrong_.

"Jace, seriously. I didn't even know why I was hurt. I thought I twisted my ankle. What could you have done?" I asked and he opened his mouth like he was going to say something. I waited, but he shut his mouth and looked at his plate again. "See, it's not your fault. It's mine. I was the one not paying attention. I was the one who fell, okay?" I asked. He looked up at me again and there was something in his eyes, showing me that he remembered _exactly _what had happened that day. But I could tell he remembered it for a different reason.

"So, Clary, when is our next date?" I frowned at Jonathan's unexpected question and flicked my eyes towards Jace and Aline. They were both slightly grinning at me, like they were encouraging me. I knew what Jace's thoughts on the whole situation were, but I wondered what Aline was thinking I should do. Did she want me to go out with her brother? Would I make another enemy in Aline when I rejected Jonathan? I really hoped not, because she seemed like someone I could be great friends with.

"Um, how about never, Jonathan. I didn't appreciate you invading my private space like that," I replied, staring him straight in the eye. I wouldn't let him scare me anymore. The pain I just went through made me realize that my life could end at any second. Anyone's could. Accidents happen and there's nothing anyone could do to stop it. So I wasn't about to let half of my time be taken up by fear. I wouldn't.

"Oh, come on, Clary. Get over it. I kissed you. That's what people do when they like each other," he said, talking like I was a five year old. Aline looked at him and I saw her eyebrows pull low over her eyes like she was confused, and I saw Jace clench his hands into fists. I sighed.

"You're right. That is what people do when they like each other." He smiled his cocky smile and I exhaled loudly. I could see Jace studying me out of the corner of my eye, and I took a deep breath before I spoke again. "But the thing is I didn't like you like that. Never will. I specifically told you when you asked me that I did _not want to kiss you_. But you forced me. So, I'll go on another date with you when hell freezes over. Twice." Jonathan's expression told me that if we were alone, I'd regret every word I just said. I could see it in his eyes and in the way he held his shoulders. But I knew Jace and Aline could see it, too, when they stood up.

"Jonathan, it's time for you to leave," Jace growled, stepping forward so he was only a few feet away from Jonathan's angry form. Aline put herself between me and Jonathan, and that's when I knew I liked her. I could see her becoming my best friend on the island. She was so obviously a better candidate for a female friend than Kaelie ever could be.

"Why don't you make me, Jace?" Jonathan replied, a clear challenge in his eyes. Jace straightened his shoulders and took a step closer to him. But I shook my head and stood up, resting my hand gently on Aline's forearm as I passed.

"No, Jace, no fighting," I said and he looked at me like he thought I was crazy. My heel was killing me and I refused to put any weight on it, but I still stepped in between the two. I was now in Jonathan's reach but closer to Jace, and I could feel him preparing to throw me out of the way if Jonathan moved towards me at all. Instead, he glared at me for a few minutes before he spun and disappeared down the ladder. _Well, _I mused in my head, _that was easier than I thought it was going to be._

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**Sorry, guys. No fight between Jace and Jonathan . . . in this chapter, at least :D hehe. **

**So, I realize this chapter is a day early. I spent all day writing it, for a lot of reasons. And here they are: **

**First, I found out today that my work schedule for the next couple days is absolutely _crazy. _And I wasn't sure if I'd be able to update like I'd promised I would tomorrow or Saturday. And, like I'd also promised, I didn't want to make you wait any longer than I'd told you you would have to. Alas, an early chapter! :D**

**Second, I got a review a couple of days ago from someone who likes this story saying that today was their birthday. I'd meant to wish them a happy early birthday in yesterday's update, but I'm stupid, and I forgot. So, I'm wishing them a happy birthday on their actual birthday by updating today. :) so _HAPPY BIRTHDAY bunnylovej!_I hope you had a great one! :D**

**Third, I felt the need to clear some things up from yesterday's Author's Note. My little spiel about the non-positive review might have been taken the wrong way. I was not offended or hurt by the review, not at all. Actually, the truth is, I was extremely grateful for it. I mean, when I get reviews with constructive criticism about my writing, it helps me a lot by letting me know things I could improve if I decide to write another story in the future. So thank you anonymous reviewer for the review the other day! If my Author's Note came across as snippy or I seemed pissed off, I'm sorry. I honestly didn't mean that I was upset about it. So please don't be afraid to tell me things I can improve on! I won't get mad about it, I promise.**

**Fourth, I realized this morning that this story broke 100 reviews. And it made me extremely happy. So I felt the need to update sooner rather than later to show how much I truly, truly appreciate all the reviews. They make me feel so amazing, and they make writing this story worth while. You guys are amazing. Thank you all so, _so _much. I adore you. **

**So, there's chapter twenty one, folks! Hope you enjoyed it! Chapter twenty-two (Jace's POV) will be up no later than next Wednesday, and no earlier than Monday. Sorry, but my bosses hate me and give me crazy hours all the time. I'll try my best to give you an update as soon as possible, though! I've been pretty good with keeping those promises, right? :D So thanks again for the reviews, and I'd really appreciate it a bunch if you kept them coming?**


	22. Almost Normal

_**{Jace POV}**_

"Oh my God, Clary, I'm so sorry. I don't understand how no one can see through his crap. He's messed up in the head, is what I think," Aline said as Clary walked back to the bed and sat down. I looked at her with my eyebrows raised and she shrugged, smiling softly at me. "Yeah, I know he's an ass. Always has been. But like I said, no one can see through his crap. He's pretty good at hiding what really goes on in his head." I nodded, and Aline and I sat on either side of Clary. I saw her hands shaking in her lap but, since Aline was here, I didn't comfort her like I wanted to. "Clary, I'm really glad you're okay, but I better go make sure Jonathan's not doing anything too stupid. If he gets in trouble again, my mom is going to _kill _me." We smiled at her as she turned and walked out the door.

As soon as she was gone, I was ready to take Clary's hands in mine and make sure she was okay. But before I could, she slumped against me and pressed her face into my shoulder, so I wrapped my arms around her body instead and pulled her closer. "Are you okay?" I whispered, leaning my cheek against the top of her head. Her hair was so soft against my skin.

"See what I mean?" she murmured. "That guy scares the crap out of me."

"Well, with the way you talked to him, I never would have guessed," I said back and she snorted.

"He's not the only person who can act. I mean, it _is _what I wanted to do back in New York. Well, sort of. But I really shouldn't have done that, pissed him off so much. Now he _wants _to hurt me. What if he comes back while everyone is sleeping?" she asked. Then her whole body was trembling against mine, and I pulled back slightly to look at her. "Oh my God, Jace, oh my God. What was I thinking?" I tightened my arms around her and pressed my face into the top of her head instead. She smelled so good, and if I could have, I would have stayed right there with my nose buried in her hair forever.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, Clary. I won't let anything happen to you. If you want, I'll sleep in here and you can sleep in the other room with my mom," I replied but she shook her head.

"It won't stop him. As soon as I'm alone . . ." she said. I tightened my arms and just held her for a few silent moments, trying to comfort her and let her know through my touch that I wouldn't ever let anything happen to her again. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, something changed. She pushed me away, wiped her eyes on her arm and stood up, turning to face me. "No. I'm not going to waste my time feeling terrified because I rejected some creepy, psychopathic asshole. I won't let him have that power over me," she said, her voice determined. I just stared at her in awe; she had to be the bravest person I'd ever met.

"So, what are you going to do?" I asked.

"Nothing. I'm going to act like nothing happened. My life will be normal . . . well, as normal as a city-girl-who's-living-on-an-island's life can be." I smiled at her and she grinned back, her hands on her hips and her amazing eyes sparkling at me. And, at that moment, I completely adored the petite girl in front of me.

Clary was determined to, as she had said, live her life as normally as she possibly could. She was on her feet as much as my mom allowed, pacing her room or circling the house but never climbing down the ladder. Less than a week after she woke up, she was walking around, balancing on her right foot, and bouncing on her toes like there weren't ten stitches in the bottom of her heel.

"Please, Celine, please, please, please, _please_! Pretty please?!" Clary begged, bouncing back and forth from foot to foot. I couldn't tell if it was from excitement because my mom looked like she was about to cave, or if it was just because she _could. _Either way, it was amusing to watch. I would never understand how she fit so much energy in her little body. "Please let me go to dinner tonight. And with Jace to do chores tomorrow. Please?!"

My mom looked at me and I shrugged, grinning. I used to think my mom was stubborn, but Clary put a whole new definition of the word in my head. I'd tried talking her out of it, too, but she was much too hardheaded. She was completely convinced she could handle it, and who were we to tell her otherwise? My mom sighed and looked at Clary in exasperation. "Fine, but if your heel starts bothering you at all, even the slightest bit, you have to come tell me right away. Promise me," my mom replied and Clary's face lit up, which in turn made the whole _room _practically light up. My entire body felt about ten degrees warmer at the sight of it.

"I promise, Celine!" she said before she ran at my mom and threw her arms around her waist. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." My mom giggled and patted Clary's back, and I smiled again.

"Don't worry, mom. I'll keep an eye on her." Clary pulled her head back and stuck her tongue out at me.

"I can take care of myself," she said, smiling. I look pointedly at her heel and she stuck her tongue out again. "Fine, I can _usually _take care of myself." I laughed and shook my head, grinning when she giggled.

There was no denying it to myself or anyone else anymore. I was crazy about Clary. She was beautiful, kind, smart, funny, strong, brave, talented, charismatic and unselfish. She was _everything_. And the things that sometimes annoyed the hell out of me about her, like her stubbornness and her inability to shut up sometimes, wound up making me like her even more. Every time I saw her, I had to fight the urge to take her into my arms and kiss her. I wanted to pull the ponytail out of her hair so it framed her gorgeous face and run my fingers through it. I wanted to pull her body against mine as I followed the arc of her neck with my lips. I wanted to trace the lines of her soft figure with my fingertips, and then my lips, and then my tongue. I wanted to . . .

"Hey, earth to Jace!" Clary said, waving her hand in front of my face. I blinked, sadly clearing the mental image out of my head, despite my efforts to keep it locked away so I could think more about it later. My mom was gone, so it was just Clary and I in the room my mom and I shared. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking," I said honestly. I was sincerely hoping she wouldn't ask what I was thinking about so I didn't have to lie to her, but luck was not on my side.

"About what?" I turned to look out the door so she couldn't see the blood that rushed into my cheeks. There was no way I was going to tell her what it was I'd been thinking. She might slap me, considering that was the reaction Sebastian usually got when he opened his big mouth about his highly inappropriate fantasies.

"Nothing." When she didn't say anything, I looked at her again and grinned. She had her hands on her hips and was tapping her foot on the ground repeatedly, her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed. She looked exactly like my mother when she got mad at me. When my smile widened, she smiled back at me and stretched her arms above her head. "So, what are you going to do until dinner?" I wondered. She tilted her head to the side and looked at me.

"Why? Where are you going?" she said, her voice almost sad. But I didn't understand why she would be sad, so I figured I must have imagined it.

"Nowhere." She smiled that adorable smile of hers and something in my chest felt warmer at the sight.

"Is Celine going to make me play tonight?" Clary asked, spinning around in a circle like a little girl. It would have been funny if her hair didn't lift sexily off her shoulders in the breeze and her smile didn't make my heart try to beat out of my chest. It was thumping so hard and fast that it was almost becoming uncomfortable.

"I don't know. Why? Do you not want her to?" I asked, sitting on the bed so I could watch her. She spun faster and faster for a minute before she stopped and stumbled. I jumped off the bed and caught her in my arms, leaning over her. Her body shook with her laughter as I helped her stand up. "You okay?" She nodded and sat on the bed. "Do you _like _falling?" I wondered, half jokingly, sitting next to her. She laughed again and pushed me with her shoulder.

"Yes, I do. Falling is exciting," she replied and I rolled my eyes, chuckling. We were silent for a few minutes before she said, so quietly I wasn't sure I heard her right, "Thanks for catching me again." I met her eyes but quickly looked away.

"I missed you last time," I replied and I heard her sigh. Thinking about the last time, how I'd landed on top of her and almost kissed her, made my throat tighten. I still couldn't believe I'd been such a coward.

"You tried but I'm too heavy. So, it's my fault," she said and I snorted.

"Oh please. You're _not _heavy." She sighed again and nodded her head. "No, Clary. I've carried you three times and I can honestly say that you are not heavy."

"Hey, the times you carried me, you probably thought I was going to die. Adrenaline can give people, like, superhuman strength." I shook my head and stood up, holding my hand out to her. She looked confused but didn't hesitate to press her palm to mine or let me pull her off the bed. Again, my body warmed, this time at her trust in me and the contact of her soft skin against mine. "What?" she asked but I just grinned and bent down to wrap my arms around her. I threw her over my shoulder so her torso was against my back, and I held her legs to my chest. "No, stop! Jace, put me down!" she screamed, hitting my back with her tiny fists. But she was laughing, and my lips pulled into a smile.

"Told you that you're not heavy," I said. "Besides, you were only close to dying _twice_ when I carried you. The other time you were just passed out." She laughed harder and my smile widened. "So, convinced you're not heavy yet?" I asked.

"Will you put me down if I say yes?" I shrugged and she shrieked as the movement tipped her a little, and I laughed. "Fine, fine! I'm not heavy! Please, just put me down!"

"Okay, I will," I replied. But I walked out of the room and Clary's arms wound around my waist. She gasped and I felt her press her face into my back. I carried her to her room and lifted her off my shoulder, laying her down on the bed gently. I grinned, still leaning over her, and she smiled back. "Told you you're not heavy," I said again, surprised at the huskiness of my own voice. She stared into my eyes for a minute before she lifted her head off of her pillow and pressed her lips against my cheek. When she pulled back to look at me again, I could see it in her eyes, just like last time, that she wanted me to kiss her. Refusing to chicken out again, I leaned down slowly, my nose brushed past hers, and . . .

"Jace! Could you come down here and help me with something, please?!" I heard my mom call from the base of the ladder. I pulled back to look down at Clary, and she sighed as I stood up.

"Yeah, mom!" I called back, turning to leave, but I paused and looked back at Clary. She turned her head to look at me. "Hey, do you think you can handle a couple hours of walking tomorrow? There's something I wanted to show you. It's not that far, and it's totally worth it," I said as she sat up. She tilted her head to the side and grinned.

"Should I be scared?"

"Do you trust me?" I wondered. It made me smile that she didn't even hesitate before she nodded her head. "Then no, you shouldn't be scared. And I'll help you if you're foot starts hurting." She nodded again and we smiled at each other before I turned and climbed down the ladder to help my mom, all the while thinking of the hours Clary and I would be spending together tomorrow, _alone_. And with no interruptions.

* * *

**. . . Don't hate me, okay? I have a plan for their first kiss, I promise. And I also promise that it'll be within the next few chapters. So, just hang in there, stick with me, and I swear to try and make it worth your time. **

**Okay, I know it's been a week since my last update. And I'm sorry. But honestly, I'm lucky to have some free time right now. In the past four days or so, the only downtime I've had is bathroom breaks. Seriously. And I haven't gotten more than about six hours of sleep, max, since Friday. Coffee and aspirin have become my best friends, since all this running around has been giving me migraines bad enough to knock me flat on my ass. Yeah, not fun. **

**And I have not-so-great-news . . . my schedule for the rest of the month is a serious mess. I mean, every night after school, I'm either working, at practice, at a game, or doing homework. Now, I'm not saying I won't be updating, because I will keep my promise and update at least once a week. But I can't promise there will be any more than that, nor can I give you an exact day of next week when I will have one done. So, just expect it somewhere between tomorrow night and next Wednesday. Sound good? Sorry. I know how much it sucks to have to wait for updates on a story you like, but I'm doing the best I can. And it'll get better once everything calms down a bit. My schedule won't always be this full. And I'll use my days off and downtime to my -and your- advantage, and write as much as I can. **

**Anyway, thanks so much for sticking with this story and everything. It means a whole hell of a lot to me. And when I do get downtime, it makes me feel so great to have emails about reviews and people adding me as favorites and stuff. So thank you. You guys are truly amazing. **


	23. New Faces and New Places

_**{Clary POV}**_

So close! He'd been so close to kissing me before Celine had called him down to help her with whatever it was she needed help with. And I'd _wanted _him to kiss me, _really _bad. So bad it almost hurt. I could feel the desire to feel his lips against mine from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, but it actually wasn't an unpleasant feeling.

There was no more doubt in my mind anymore that I had some seriously strong feelings for Jace. Sure, he pissed me off a lot with his mood swings –and I wasn't completely convinced yet that he wasn't bipolar- but he was smart and sweet and funny and charming when he wanted to be. He had this way about him that showed me he was confident, but not to the point of cockiness, and it was an extremely attractive quality. And the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to spend with him, instead of getting sick of his company like I'd almost expected when Celine first told me I would be following him around every day.

I laid in bed with my hands under my head as I stared at the ceiling. I was wondering exactly what it could be that he wanted to show me. _What would be so amazing that he'd ask me to walk an hour if he didn't even want me to climb down the stairs for dinner tonight?_ I thought to myself. I was getting more and more excited and eager, though I didn't know if it was to get out of this house, see what it was that Jace wanted to show me, or just to be spending time alone with him again. He'd been sitting with me for dinner since I woke up from the infection, but we could always hear the talking and laughing from downstairs, and Aline would join us more often than not. So we hadn't actually been completely alone together since I collapsed in the meadow that day. And I was hoping that, if we finally did get some time just to ourselves with no interruptions, maybe he'd finally kiss me. _Hopefully. _

I stayed in my room until dinner, when Jace walked through the door, grinning at me. "Need help getting down?" he asked, grabbing my hand and helping me off the bed. Not that I actually needed the help, but I definitely wasn't about to complain. I liked the way his fingers felt in mine. They seemed to fit together so perfectly. "I could always carry you again." I laughed and slapped at him as I rolled my eyes.

"No, that's okay, thanks." I walked past him and slowly climbed down the ladder. Thankfully, it didn't hurt at all, and I smiled at Jace when he jumped down next to me.

"What?" he asked, though he smiled back at me automatically. I could have watched him smile all day if I didn't think that would be extremely creepy.

"My foot feels as good as new," I said happily as we made our way towards the fire. He grabbed two plates from Imogen and handed one to me before he spoke again.

"Good, because then you can make it to your surprise tomorrow." We sat down in two chairs by the fire and I smiled at Aline as she made her way over to us. I did like Aline and her company, but Jace and I definitely needed some alone time. "Seriously though, if your foot bothers you at all, you have to let me know. I don't want you to get hurt again," he said, his expression completely serious. The protectiveness and concern in his eyes made my cheeks warm. I smiled shyly at him, ducking my head so my hair fell forward to hide my blush.

"I will, I promise." Jace and Aline started talking about someone, using a name I didn't recognize, so I tuned out and looked around the clearing. It was the first time I'd really been down from the house since I woke up, other than to go to the bathroom or to the stream to wash myself. But Jace and Celine would always hustle me right back up the ladder and into what had started feeling like my cell. I'd really missed being outside, and I didn't realize how much I liked being actually surrounded by people until I wasn't anymore.

"Clary, right?" I was startled out of my thoughts by an unfamiliar voice, and I quickly turned around to look at the person speaking to me. I had to blink a couple of times to make sure I wasn't seeing things. Standing in front of me was a large group of people who looked around my age, maybe a little older. There were six boys and four girls –including Kaelie, who didn't look happy, and Sebastian, who was grinning widely at me- standing in a loose bunch, looking at me with a mixture of expressions. I stared back, completely taken off guard and slightly intimidated.

"Um, yeah, I'm Clary," I replied, though I had no idea who it was who had asked in the first place. I scanned the group, trying to get my bearings and find out who in the group hated me the least. Kaelie's face was the only one that held even a hint of dislike, but I decided to keep my guard up anyway if these people were friends with her.

"Hi, Clary. We've heard a lot about you from quite a few people." My eyes flashed to the girl speaking, and I smiled automatically. She was pretty, with long black hair hanging down her back and brown eyes. And she was about half a foot taller than I was. "Sorry it's taken so long for us to come introduce ourselves to you, but, well . . ." She inclined her head towards the back of the group, where Kaelie was standing, glaring daggers at the back of her head. I giggled and shook my head.

"It's no big deal. It's nice to finally meet everyone." One by one, they stepped in front of me to personally introduce themselves, and by the last person, my head was spinning with everything I'd learned in such a short period of time.

The first person I'd met was the girl who'd first spoken to me, Isabelle. I learned that she was Kaelie's best friend and had two older brothers, who I'd met later in the group. And from my own personal observations, I noticed that her and a cute boy in the group kept sneaking glances at each other. I bit my lip to hold back my smile when I realized they liked each other but didn't know that the other felt the same. The second person I'd met was another girl, Maia. She had long brown hair, closely braided to her head, and she was short like me, except with fuller curves than I had. Then I met her boyfriend, Jordan, who had long brown hair pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, and smiling brown eyes. Next, I met Maia's younger brother Daniel, who was seriously gorgeous, with dark hair hanging in his hazel eyes. But he was shy, which I found extremely cute. If I hadn't been so hung up on Jace, I may have developed a crush on him.

After him, I met Alec and Maggie, who had their arms around each other the whole time they were speaking to me. Alec was one of Isabelle's older brothers, with the same dark hair, but his eyes were ice blue. And Maggie was almost as tall as Isabelle, with long hair that she had pulled into a ponytail on the crown of her head. In the light of the fire, her eyes looked almost yellow, weirdly reminding me of a feline. Next to introduce himself was Simon, the boy who had been eyeing Isabelle the same way she had been eyeing him. He was tall and lanky, and his wavy brown hair hung just slightly in his pretty brown eyes. The last person I'd met from the group was Max, who was Alec's twin and Isabelle's other older brother. He looked exactly like Alec, except for his brown eyes, which matched Isabelle's perfectly.

In the short time, I learned almost everything I could have about the group dynamic. Sebastian was the loud one, the joker who had people laughing and cringing at the same time. Kaelie was the bitch of the group and mostly kept to herself, only talking to Isabelle when she wasn't talking to someone else. The couples of the group were Sebastian and Kaelie, Alec and Maggie, and Jordan and Maia, and I figured Isabelle and Simon would eventually get together as well if they kept shooting each other those looks. Alec and Maggie were the overly affectionate couple, and Jordan and Maia were the power couple –they had been together since they were young and were expected to stay together for the rest of their lives. Max and Simon were best friends, even though Simon was younger than Max, closer to Isabelle's age. From what I'd gathered, they shared the same interests in things like biology and Earth Science and all the other stuff I thought I'd never hear about unless I somehow made it back into a Science class. And Daniel was the sweet, shy one, who preferred to stay in the crowd rather than take the spotlight.

Though the group still intimidated the hell out of me since I didn't know any of them enough to know what to expect, I immediately liked all of them. They seemed extremely close, and I liked that.

"So, Clary, we were about to head down to the beach. Want to come?" Isabelle asked me suddenly. I smiled at her but shook my head.

"Thanks, but I'm just going to hang out here tonight. I don't want to push my foot too much." She gave me an understanding smile and turned to look at Jace instead. He gave her a similar answer, saying he wanted to make sure I was okay for the night. I rolled my eyes but didn't argue, seeing as I wanted to spend as much time as I could with him. Isabelle nodded at him and the group walked away, disappearing into the trees one by one. I smiled after them and turned back to Aline and Jace.

"Well, you've finally met my friends," Jace said. I shrugged and nodded, but didn't otherwise comment. I wanted some time to dissect what I'd learned about them.

Jace, Aline and I sat by the fire and talked until everyone else was already in their houses. I really liked Aline, and I could definitely see me and her becoming good friends. She didn't try to hide the fact that she was gay, and I liked it that she wasn't ashamed of it. I'd met plenty of homophobes (yes, they have those in New York, too) and they just pissed me off. I could only imagine how much it sucked to be made fun of for something that's completely out of your control. One of my best guy friends in New York had been gay, so I'd seen firsthand how truly mean people could be.

I hugged Aline goodbye once the fire completely died, and Jace and I made our way back to his house, talking quietly so as not to wake anyone up. I climbed the ladder first, and he pulled me into a hug before he walked to his room. The excitement in me swelled as I changed into pajamas and then got comfortable in bed, and I slept dreamlessly.

~LOTI~

I woke up at dawn the next morning and grinned to myself. The sun was bright as it filtered through my windows, sprawling my shadow across the ground as I stretched. It only took me five minutes to change my clothes and put my hair in a ponytail, and I made my way down the ladder. Everyone was already eating their breakfast and I scanned the crowd for Jace, grinning when he waved me over. We quickly ate breakfast with the group I'd met the night before and started walking, but it wasn't in the direction I expected.

"Are you going to get us lost?" I asked playfully and he grinned at me, his amber eyes sparkling at me.

"No, I came here three times while you were unconscious, so I know where I'm going." I smiled back and we walked in a comfortable silence for about an hour. The sun was bright but there was a cool breeze blowing through the trees, so it wasn't too hot. I still kind of wished that Jace would take his shirt off, but I wasn't about to tell him that. "So, tell me about your favorite foods from New York," he said suddenly, and I smiled.

"Well, ever since I was a little girl, I've loved salsa. All my friends thought I was weird because I could eat it on just about anything –including pizza-, but trust me, it's delicious," I replied. "Oh, and I used to be addicted to frozen custard. Especially when there was butterfinger pieces and caramel mixed in. And I can never forget about chocolate chip cookie dough. Jace, it was so unhealthy but it was so good." He looked at me with a confused expression and I gasped. "Oh my gosh, you've never had cookie dough, have you? You're missing out, Jace, seriously. It's amazing." He laughed and shook his head.

"Do you miss it?" he wondered.

"What? Cookie dough?" He laughed and rolled his eyes at me, and I pushed him with my shoulder again. "Yeah, I do. A lot. I mean, my family and all my friends are in New York. Even if I couldn't go back, I'd at least want to tell them that I'm alive and safe and happy." I peaked at him out of the corner of my eye to see him looking down at his feet, smiling.

"So, you are happy?" he asked and I nodded, completely sincere.

"Yeah, I am. I didn't think I ever would be for a while, but I was wrong. I've grown to love it around here." His grin widened and I couldn't hold my own smile back. I wondered if he knew he was a big part of me actually being happy here.

"What are the biggest differences between the island and New York?" he asked and I looked around. I bit my lip and thought hard about his question.

"Well, it's a lot more peaceful here than it is in New York. I always loved how it was never quiet but I've realized that silence is a lot more calming. Also, in New York, I was surrounded by huge buildings and cars and people. Here, it's all trees and animals and nature." I gestured around the forest with a sweep of my arm, and his eyes followed the movement until I dropped it back to my side.

"Tell me about your friends." I opened my mouth to tell him but a sound cut me off. It was familiar, but not enough to where I could remember where I'd heard it before. I looked towards where we were walking but all I could see were more trees. "Are you ready for your surprise?" Jace asked, grinning from ear to ear. I smiled back instinctually and started walking faster. The sound grew louder and louder the further I walked, and again I felt my excitement swell until I thought I was going to explode with it. It took us about five minutes from when I first heard it until we broke through the last of the trees and I skidded to a stop.

"Oh my God, Jace. It's beautiful!" I breathed, staring at the small waterfall. It was tiny, but it's natural beauty mixed with the way it was surrounded by nature put even Niagara Falls to shame.

* * *

**So, as much as I hate them, this was a filler chapter. Sorry guys. And yes, Maggie (Magnus) is a girl in this story. Sorry, but I just felt that Aline should be the only gay person on the island. But, I absolutely _adore _Magnus, so I couldn't just leave him out completely! So, basically, I cut off his penis and called him a girl, haha. Sorry again! And the other characters from the group Clary just met _will not be a big part of the story. _I love them all but I don't want to unnecessarily incorporate scenes with them into the story and drag it out more than it needs to be. I appologize if that upsets some people, but that's just the way I'm writing the story. **

**Anyway, I'm sorry for the wait. I hate that I can't update nearly as much as I had been able to in the summer, but with school and work and extra curriculars, my schedule is a freaking mess. Life sucks sometimes. But this week, despite all the crap I've had to do, I was able to write alot more than last week. So, I finished this chapter and the majority of chapter twenty-four as well. I just haven't had time to sit on the computer and type it out until tonight. And, since I'm almost done with the next chapter, and my plans for Friday got cancelled, chapter twenty-four will be up Friday night. Then I'll try to get in chapter twenty-five next Wednesday again, okay? Sound like a plan? Sorry for the wait, but life gets in the way, and I don't get any time to myself anymore. But I'm doing my absolute best, and I have still managed to get at least a chapter in a week, just like I promised at the beginning of this story. **

**THANKS FOR READING AND REVIEWING! And I hope you continue to read&review because it tickles my fancy! ;D Until Friday night, lovelies! **


	24. About Damn Time

_**{Jace POV}**_

I stared at Clary as she stared at the waterfall I'd found the day Trish lost her baby. It wasn't big at all –quite small really- but it really was beautiful. The water was blue and clear and so clean you could practically see right through it, and the grass was lush and green. Colorful flowers and animals could be seen everywhere you looked and the sun glinted off the rocks and the water, sending hundreds of little rainbows skittering into the air. It was a scene I'd imagine lots of people could only dream about or read about in novels.

"Jace, I don't know what to say," Clary said, turning towards me. I was surprised to see that her eyes were a little glassy, and I could see tears pooling under her lower eyelids. And then I remembered her telling me about going to visit a waterfall on vacation, and I realized why this would upset her. I resisted the urge to slam my head off the wall a couple of times, just to knock some sense into myself. I felt so stupid, like I seemed to a lot where Clary was involved.

"Oh Clary, I'm sorry. I didn't think of how this would make you miss your family." I felt like a complete and total idiot until she stepped towards me and wrapped her arms around my waist. I stiffened for a second, confused.

"No, no, Jace. That's not it at all. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'm . . . I'm touched that you'd share it with me." I smiled to myself and put my arms around her shoulders, hugging her gently to me. I wanted to lean down and bury my face in her hair or cover her lips with mine, but instead I tightened my grip for a second before I let her go. If I kept her that close, I'd lose control of myself and do something that might ruin my chances with her, and that was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.

"Come with me, it gets better," I said and she smiled at me. I took her hand in mine, intertwining our fingers, and pulled her towards the waterfall, onto a small dirt path I'd found the second time I came here. The sides were lined by colorful wildflowers and there were small weeds growing up through cracks in the dirt, but they just added to the charm and natural feel of the area. It led to a cliff-like ledge, which narrowed as it disappeared behind the falls. Then it widened out again into a small, perfectly round cave about six feet tall and reaching eight feet back behind the waterfall. The cave was moist and muggy and a little too humid, but the black rocks reflected rainbows against each other until it looked like the entire cavern was glowing.

Clary and I stood in the middle of the cave, and again I watched her as she looked around in awe. "Oh, Jace. This is absolutely the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" she exclaimed, stepping away from me. The pressure of the falls was extremely high, but she stopped only a foot away and skimmed her fingers against the wall of water. "It's so magical and romantic," she murmured, and as soon as she said it her cheeks turned slightly pink, like she was blushing. I smiled to myself but didn't respond. She moved away from the water and looked around the room again, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. There was only a small sliver of actual light coming in between the falls and the wall of the cave, and she was standing directly in the ray. The spray coming off of the waterfall was drenching her hair, making it stick to her face and neck, and soaking through her clothes so they clung to the perfect curves of her body. When I was younger, my mom told me stories that her parents told her of half-human angels with amazing powers. She said that every single angel was so beautiful that once a person saw one, their life would change, and they'd live happily ever after. I hadn't ever been able to see any pictures because there'd never been any pictures _to _see. But from what my mom had told me, I imagined Clary, at that moment, looked exactly like an angel. I could only hope that I would live happily ever after since I'd seen her like that, and hopefully with Clary by my side.

"Am I dreaming?" she asked, reaching her arms out to her sides. I was asking myself basically the same question as I watched her. It was amazing how beautiful she was. She started spinning in circles like she had the night before in the house, and I smiled again at the sound of her giggles. I stepped a little closer to her to make sure she didn't fall, but she stopped twirling around and looked at me. Her smile spread across her face and her green eyes sparkled like the walls. "Jace, I can never thank you enough for showing me this." I grinned at her and she looked up at the ceiling. "Have you gone up there yet?" she asked, pointing up. I allowed my gaze to follow her finger for a moment, but my eyes were drawn back to her almost immediately.

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing," I replied, smirking.

"Please show me!" she said, stepping away from me. I didn't even have to think about it and I didn't give myself time to hesitate. I reached out and grabbed Clary's wrist as she started walking away and gently tugged her towards me. She looked shocked as she unhesitatingly stepped closer, and I put my finger under her chin, lifting her face as I leaned down towards her. I kissed her once before I pulled away. We stared at each other for a minute, unsmiling, but I kept one hand on her arm and the other on her face. I was completely unwilling to let her move any further from me than she already was. I was actually fighting the urge to wrap my arms around her and pull her into me, as close as she could have possibly gotten. I wanted to consume her until it was unclear where she ended and I began. "What was that for?" she asked suddenly, sounding as breathless as I felt.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time now," I said back, a little too honestly. Again, we stared at each other, neither of us speaking, for what felt like an eternity.

After another minute, when I was just about to beg her to tell me what she was thinking, she stepped a little closer to me and her eyes slid closed. "_Finally_," she murmured, and I smiled before I pressed my mouth against hers again. White lights, brighter than the sun itself ever seemed, exploded behind my close eyelids, as a sense of rightness and belonging flooded through my chest. It felt like my heart was expanding, struggling to make room for everything I was feeling for her. I absolutely could not get enough of her full lips against mine, smooth skin under my fingertips, and the smell of her hair. She tasted and smelled _so good. _She took over every one of my senses.

Clary wrapped her arms around my shoulders as I wound mine around her waist, and I pulled her body against mine like I'd wanted to for a long time. Her lips were soft and warm as they opened under mine, and I could taste the water as it dripped down her face and onto her mouth. I tightened my hold on her and deepened the kiss, swiping my tongue across her lower lip, as my thoughts echoed her last word . . .

_Finally._

~LOTI~

Once I remembered that oxygen was pretty important if I ever wanted to do this again, I pulled back and grinned at her. "Still want to see the view from on top of the waterfall?" I asked, reaching up to brush a strand of her hair out of her face. She pressed her head into my hand, her eyelids fluttering, and my grin widened.

"Definitely," she replied. She grabbed my hand off of her face and dragged me out of the cave, into the sunlight. I pointed out the path that led to another small ledge just to the left of the falls, and she pulled me along after her until we were standing just on the edge of it. The view was amazing. We could just see over the tops of the immensely tall trees. Ocean surrounded us on all sides past the forest, and the sky was a brilliant blue without a single cloud in sight. "Wow," Clary said softly. I twined my fingers through hers and brought her hand to my lips, keeping my eyes trained on her face. "Thanks again, Jace. This is seriously . . ." She stood there for a few minutes, seeming to struggle for words.

"Anytime, Clary," I replied and she smiled at me. "I didn't tell my mom where we were going today, so we should probably start heading back. But I can bring you back whenever you want," I told her and her grin widened. Her smile made the view of the island look dull and colorless in comparison. If I could have stared at her smiling face forever without feeling like a total weirdo, I would have.

"Okay, we can go now." I pulled her towards me so I could kiss her quickly before we followed the path back down to the base of the falls and then back towards home.

~LOTI~

On the way back, I wanted to know more about Clary's life growing up in New York. I asked her questions about her childhood, her likes and dislikes, her favorite hobbies, all her friends, and her home and school life. And she answered every single one of my questions without pause, using her hands to emphasize certain points she was trying to make. The excitement on her face as she explained her favorite things in detail brought a smile to my face that just didn't want to go away. I had been afraid that it was going to be awkward after the kiss, but it wasn't at all. We walked side by side, close enough that our arms would occasionally brush, and I hoped she didn't notice the small shudders that passed through me each time. Sadly, it seemed to only take half the time to get back to the village than it had getting to the falls, but it was already passed lunch time. When she spotted us walking through the trees, my mom glared at me.

"Jonathan Christopher, where on Earth have you been?" she asked. I cleared my throat quietly as I tried to come up with an excuse. I opened my mouth to speak but Clary cut me off.

"Sorry, Celine, that's my fault. It's just been so long since I got out that I wanted to stay out for a little while longer. And I made Jace stay with me. I didn't mean to worry you," she said, ducking her head like she was ashamed. If I hadn't known what had actually happened, I would have believed her myself. My mom's expression softened and she smiled.

"Oh, that's just fine, Clary. I'm proud of you for staying with her, Jonathan," she added, turning back to me. I grinned to myself as the back of my neck got hot.

"Really, mom, it was no trouble at all. I enjoyed myself immensely." I heard Clary gasp a little and my mom looked between us curiously, but neither of us offered any more information. With a happy sounding sigh, my mom walked past us and disappeared down the ladder, and Clary gently slapped me in the chest as soon as she was out of earshot.

"Jace!" she laughed, her face and neck bright pink. I lifted my hand to touch her flushed cheek but she grinned and pushed me away. "No, I'm mad at you now. Your mom probably guessed that something happened." I looked around, making sure we were alone, before I grabbed Clary's hand and pulled her into her bedroom, where I wrapped my arms around her and stared into her eyes. I immediately got lost in their jade green depths.

"We weren't doing anything wrong," I said, tightening my hold when she tried to playfully push me away. After a minute, she seemed to give up and wrapped her arms around my neck. I felt her fingers push up into my hair, and I smiled at the feeling. It felt so right to be close to her, and I never wanted to let her go. "Besides, she likes you. She might be a little more upset if you'd been like Kaelie." I hadn't been thinking when I said it and I half expected Clary to get mad and push me away again, but she just sighed, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"Mm, I'm hoping that's a compliment," she murmured and I nodded, smiling apologetically. "So, have you kissed Kaelie before?" I worked to control my expression before I answered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Just wondering. So have you?" I sighed and looked over her head at the wall, feeling embarrassed for some reason.

"Not really, but -," I started but Clary cut me off again, sounding somehow annoyed and amused at the same time.

"Liar." I met her gaze for a second before I sighed again and stepped back, releasing her from my hold. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the bed so we could sit down.

"Yeah, sort of," I muttered. "Well, she kissed me. I felt bad for rejecting her for so long, so I kissed her back to see if I had feelings for her." I answered the question I could read in Clary's eyes before she got the chance to ask it. "No, I didn't. I told her to stay with Sebastian." Then I remembered something I'd been meaning to ask her about. "Speaking of . . . did you kiss Sebastian?" I asked and she blanched at me for a second.

"Why would you ask that?" I raised my eyebrow at her and she sighed and looked away. "No . . . Yeah . . . Okay, kind of. He kissed me first and I yelled at him. But he told me it was only to see if kissing me was any different than kissing someone from here on the island. So, he kissed me again and I kissed him back." So Sebastian _had _been telling the truth. Now that Clary had told me, though, it didn't piss me off nearly as much as it had when he'd told me. Maybe it had something to do with that fact that she'd let me kiss her the first time I tried, and obviously had wanted it for almost as long as I had. "Are you mad at me?" Clary asked me suddenly, leaning forward.

"No, why would I be mad at you?" I wondered. Anger was the last thing I was feeling at that moment. If I was being honest with myself, I didn't have a name for what I was feeling. All I knew was that I liked it.

* * *

**So, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for! :D Was it okay? Or did I let you down? I sure hope you liked it :) **

**Anyway, I don't have much of an author's note tonight. Just wanted to get this chapter up and start on the next one. Like I said in my last author's note, chapter twenty-five will probably be up Wednesday night. **

**READ AND REVIEW, because it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :) and THANKS to anyone who has reviewed in the past couple of chapters. I haven't been able to respond since I never get the chance to sit on the computer anymore. :( but I plan to dedicate one whole day some time in the near future to rereading all the reviews and replying to the ones I've missed lately. **

**P.S. This chapter is dedicated to** **_uhmchelsea _who has stuck with this story from chapter one, and has reviewed on almost every -if not every- chapter. Thank you so much! And I told you their first kiss would be in chapter twenty-four! ;) you rock my socks! :D I hope it was worth the wait and all the amazing reviews you took the time to post. **


	25. Thinking About It

_**{Clary POV}**_

Jace put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side when I didn't answer, and I leaned against him. "Why would I be mad at you?" he asked again, gently.

"I don't know. Because I kissed your best friend." I expected him to be mad at me, but he just laughed and pressed his lips against my forehead. His arm tightened around me and I wanted more than anything for him to kiss me again. And again. And again, and hopefully never stop.

The waterfall had honestly been one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. The fact that it had been completely natural and untouched by human hands made it all the more fantastic. And the naturally formed cavern beneath the water had seemed like a dream, with rainbows dancing across the walls and lighting the place through the mist and spray from the water. I'd been speechless for a while as I gawked at the cave, but Jace hadn't seemed to mind, and he didn't try to rush me. Then, when I wanted him to show me the view from above the waterfall, he'd kissed me. My body had responded immediately though he'd only kissed me once before he pulled away. Since then, all I'd wanted to do was kiss him, over and over again until our only options were to come up for air or pass out from lack of oxygen. If I had to choose, I'd choose the latter.

I lifted my chin and met Jace's gaze, showing him with my eyes what I wanted him to do. Like I knew he would –or at least _hoped_ he would-, he leaned towards me with a grin. His lips brushed against mine and, again, my body responded. I pushed closer to him immediately and my hands moved on their own to tangle in his hair as he pressed his mouth more firmly against mine.

"Jace!" I pulled away as Sebastian walked in, his lips pulled into a huge smile. "Oh, sorry," he said, grinning wider. "Am I . . . _interrupting _something?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively at us and I rolled my eyes, removing my hands from Jace's shoulders. Sebastian laughed and plopped down on the bed next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and I looked at Jace, but he was obviously trying to hold back a smile. "So, Jace, buddy, are you busy?"

"Why?" Jace replied. I tried unsuccessfully to wiggle out from under Sebastian's arm but he held me tight to his side. Weird, and it made me just the slightest bit uncomfortable.

"My mom needs our help with something. So, if you're not busy," he said, waggling his eyebrows at me again. "Then you should come help me." Jace looked at me and opened his mouth to speak, but I shook my head. I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to refuse so he could hang out with me. And as much as I wanted to spend time with him, too, I didn't want him to ditch his best friends for me. And I definitely didn't want to change his life anymore than I already had.

"Go, Jace. I'll just see you later." The corners of his lips pulled up into a little smile before he looked at Sebastian.

"All right, I'm coming. Give me a minute and I'll meet you downstairs." Sebastian acted like he was surprised, lifting the arm not wrapped around my waist to press his hand against his chest.

"You're not coming with me _now?" _he asked, tightening his hold around me again. It wasn't scary or too intimate. It was like he was encouraging Jace or telling him secretly that he approved. I didn't know whether to feel flattered or annoyed.

Jace and I both glared at Sebastian until he threw his hands up with a grin. "All right, all right. I know when I'm unwelcome. I'll see you in a few, Jace. Bye, Clary," he said, nodding at me as he stood up. I smiled unwillingly as he spun around and walked out the door, before I turned back to Jace. He was shaking his head with a smile on his face.

"Sorry about him," he told me but I shrugged and smiled back. I put my hand on the back of his neck and tugged his head down eagerly. With only a short second of prompting, he covered my mouth with his and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me hard against him. His tongue made a quick swipe across my lower lip and I immediately opened my mouth to let him in. After a few minutes, I unwillingly pulled away and pushed his shoulder towards the door.

"Go, I'll see you at dinner," I said and he smiled. He kissed me one more time before he left and I laid back on my bed. _He finally kissed me,_ I thought. It only took a near death experience on my part for him to finally man up and do it. But I didn't care. Because _he finally kissed me._ I grabbed my pillow from under my head and pressed it gently to my face so I could scream into it without being heard. I was fully aware that I was acting like a love struck teenage girl, but I couldn't bring myself to care. All I could think about were Jace's lips.

No kiss had ever made me feel like Jace's had. It hadn't made me fall instantly in love with him or anything rediculous like that. I mean, real life wasn't a fairytale. But the other times I'd been kissed had really just been for fun. Nothing all that serious. But it was more with Jace. I couldn't figure out just yet what was so different, but it was like a bucket of cold water in the face. But I liked how things were progressing between us, so I pushed the thought away.

I was bored only minutes after Jace left, so I grabbed the guitar and walked to the beach, smiling when I spotted someone where I usually sat. Aline was sitting on the rocks alone, and I plopped down next to her. "Hey, Aline," I said.

"Oh, hey, Clary. Where's Jace?" I shrugged and explained how he was helping Sebastian with something, waving my hand like it was no big deal. "Really?" she asked. "I didn't think he'd want to leave your side after everything with your foot and then Jonathan. I'm surprised he let Sebastian pull him away." There was something in her voice that told me she thought it was more than just my foot and Jonathan. My cheeks got hot and I looked down at the guitar as I ran my finger up and down the glossy neck.

"Yeah, I talked him into it. I don't need a babysitter," I muttered. Aline started laughing, her head thrown back, and I just stared at her. "What?" I asked. Her laughter was contagious and I couldn't hold back my giggles. "What?!" I asked again when she didn't respond. She took a few minutes to control herself and finally looked at me, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Clary, he knows you don't need a babysitter. Everyone here knows that. But that's not what he wants to be," she said matter-of-factly. I raised my eyebrows at her and she sighed. "I don't know if you can tell –everyone else can- but Jace likes you. _A lot." _I looked down at my hands and grinned, trying to hide it behind my hair. But I wasn't sure how successful I was. "I keep telling him that he should make a move or something before you start liking someone else, but he just won't listen to me. He's convinced himself that you don't feel the same, but _I'm_ not so easily fooled." I giggled again. "So, I'm thinking that, since Jace won't do it, that you might have to make the first move."

"Oh yeah? What do you suggest I do?" I asked, playing along. I pulled the guitar strap over my shoulder and strummed it softly, just as something to do to hide my giddy fidgeting.

"I don't know. Encourage him to kiss you or something. Subtly, but not too subtly, you know? Or, hell, just kiss him." She threw her hands up in frustration and I laughed.

"Aw, Aline, don't worry so much. And, by the way, I don't think I need to make the first move," I said, biting my lip to hide my grin. She looked at me, her eyes narrowed.

"Why?" I sighed like I didn't want to explain, though it felt good talking to another girl. This was the kind of thing I used to gossip with my friends about all the time, and I missed it. A lot.

"Because he already _made _the first move," I said and she squealed, demanding details. I couldn't help it: I put the guitar next to me and turned towards Aline, becoming more animated. As a girl, it was practically habit to make everything seem twice as dramatic as it really was. "Instead of chores this morning, he brought me to this waterfall that he said he found when I was passed out." She looked shocked at the mention of a waterfall but I told myself I'd explain later and continued. "Well, he took me down this path that led behind that actual waterfall, and, oh my God, Aline, it was so amazingly beautiful and romantic. The water made the walls sparkle with rainbows. It was just too gorgeous for words." _Apparently I forgot about my plans to tell her later, _I thought to myself, and by the impatient look on her face, I could tell she felt the same.

"Okay, tell me more about the waterfall later! More about Jace, now!" Aline said and I laughed.

"Hey, I was getting there. Okay, so I wanted to see what the view was like on top of the waterfall so I asked Jace to show me. Before I could walk away, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back towards him. And he kissed me!" Aline squealed again and latched onto my arm, asking what it was like. She seemed _really _interested, shockingly so, considering she was gay. But I told her anyway. "It was awesome. In New York, all the guys kiss the same. Like, it always seemed like they wanted something more, right from the very first kiss. But, with Jace, it was like he was kind of shy, or half expecting me to pull away. It was sweet," I said, smiling to myself.

"Aw!" she murmured and I giggled, pushing her with my shoulder. "Sorry, Clary. I don't mean to seem overly interested or anything, but I've never been kissed. I have to live vicariously through you! So, forgive me." I shrugged and smiled at her. I couldn't believe I'd overlooked the fact that there probably wasn't someone for Aline on the island, and I felt awful.

"That's okay. Well, what were you doing out here before I so rudely interrupted?" I asked and Aline shrugged.

"Avoiding my mom. But I probably should get back. I'll see you around." She jumped up and bounded off with a wave. I watched her go, grinning, before I turned back and started practicing the guitar again.

~LOTI~

I was still playing the guitar when I heard someone step up onto the rocks behind me. My fingers didn't falter as Jace sat down next to me. I turned my head and lifted my chin, and he leaned towards me quickly. He kissed me softly and chastely for a minute, and when he moved to pull away, I leaned towards him to make the kiss last just a bit longer. "Hey, Jace," I murmured. He smiled and looked away from me, down at my fingers as they moved on the guitar.

"I used to watch my dad play all the time," he said quietly. "He was going to teach me but he left before he could."

"Want me to teach you?" I asked gently, my fingers freezing on the strings. He didn't say anything as he met my gaze, but I could see a deep sadness in his eyes. I pulled the guitar strap off my shoulder and pushed it onto his lap before I pulled myself closer. "All right, hold it like this," I murmured, leading his hands with my own. He let me show him a few notes before he turned his hand over, twining his fingers with mine.

"Thanks, Clary," he said. He looked up at me with his amazing amber eyes, and suddenly I felt my own filling with tears. I couldn't figure out why but I suddenly the only thing I wanted was someone, anyone, to hug me and tell me everything was okay. I wanted to wrap myself in a blanket and curl up on the couch with a pint of cookie dough ice cream and my favorite movie. I wanted to play cards with my parents as we watched old home movies from when I was a baby. For some reason I couldn't figure out, I suddenly wanted all the things I would never, ever have again. "Hey," Jace said, his shock clear in his voice. He reached up and wiped away the first tears to spill onto my cheeks with his thumbs. "What's wrong?"

"I-I-," I stuttered. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know the answer. But, somehow, he seemed to understand. He put his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. I pressed my face into his shoulder as the tears continued to fall, and I felt his arms wind around my waist.

_What is wrong with me?_ I wondered as I buried my face in the arc of Jace's neck.

* * *

**So, in this chapter, you got some Clace, some of Sebastian being a weirdo, some Aline and Clary bonding, and the beginning of a mental breakdown :D Hope that's okay! **

**Not much to say tonight, besides THANK YOU for the reviews and everything. You're all so amazing. Keep reading and reviewing, and I'll keep updating, and we'll complete the FanFiction circle of life :)**

**Thanks again! **


	26. Unwanted Admission

_**{Jace POV}**_

One minute , Clary had been teaching me how to play the guitar, her tiny hands moving mine along the strings. The feeling of her skin against mine –along with the fact that she was teaching me something that reminded me of my father _before_ he became an addict- made me unable to stop smiling. And after a while, I couldn't stop myself anymore from turning my hand to hold hers. Then, when I looked up at her, she started _crying. _At first, I wondered if it'd been something I'd said or did. But the look in her eyes had been familiar; it was the wistful, heartbroken look she got when she was homesick. I pulled her onto my lap and buried my face in her hair as she pressed her head into my neck. "Hey, it's okay," I whispered, rubbing my hands up and down her back.

"I-I'm sorry," she replied, pulling away to wipe her eyes on her sleeve. I kept my arms around her waist and pressed my forehead against hers. Her breath was ragged, and I hated that she was upset, even though I knew she'd never stop missing her home.

"Don't be. I understand," I murmured and she smiled sadly.

"I know you do. And I appreciate it. But I'm still sorry." I opened my mouth to tell her again but she shook her head at me. "Let me explain. When I was a little girl, my grandpa was the person who taught me to play the guitar. I used to sit on his lap and he'd guide my fingers over the strings and make me giggle. The last time he gave me a lesson, he grabbed my hand and thanked me, just like you did, but he wouldn't tell me why. Five days later, I was at his funeral. He died of cancer in his sleep that night. I guess I was remembering that. I still get random bouts of homesickness, I guess," she said softly. She reached her hands up and locked her fingers behind my neck, holding my head down to hers. Our faces were so close, close enough to where I could feel her breath wash over my face and practically taste her on my tongue, but I didn't move to kiss her. No matter how much I wanted to, I knew it was not the right time.

"Don't apologize," I said, tightening my arms around her waist. We sat like that for a few minutes before she sighed and pulled away. Still sitting on my lap, she turned to face the water and leaned back against me, so her shoulders were against my chest. I pressed my lips against her neck once before I reached up to gently pull the rubber band out of her hair. It spilled heavily onto her shoulders, reminding me of the flames in the fire every night, and I ran my fingers through it like I'd wanted to do since I'd realized that I had feelings for her. I heard her sigh as I used my fingertips to brush the hair out of her face. I gathered it into my hand and pushed it out of the way so I could lean forward and press my lips against the back of her neck and along the line of her shoulder. The shiver I felt shake her body made me smile into her skin.

I reached my arm around Clary's body so I could put my finger under her chin, and I turned her head towards me. I covered her mouth with mine and kissed her hard, tangling my hands into her hair. She turned in my arms, getting up onto her knees, and I grinned as she pushed me down towards the rocks. I barely even registered the feeling of the little pebbles digging into my back. I wrapped my arms around her body and pulled her down, rolling until I hovered over her. I moved my lips from hers and followed the line of her jaw and the arc of her neck as I pushed my hand up the back of her shirt. She gasped quietly against my mouth but didn't protest as I gently ran my fingers over the soft skin of her back, feeling the sweet curve of her spine. There was a rushing in my ears, like water crashing onto the sand or the fluttering of wings, but I figured it was just my pulse as I pressed Clary harder into the rocks. She moved her hands from my shoulders, sliding them down my chest and across my stomach before she grabbed the bottom of my shirt. I felt her tugging it up and I moved to help her, when . . .

_WOOSH! _The wave that crashed into us wasn't as big as the one that had driven Clary's boat into the rocks and smashed it to pieces, but it was bigger than the normal ones that crashed along the sand every day. It sent a huge splash of water up and over us, drenching both Clary and I to the skin. I laughed, lifting my head away from her, and pushed the wet hair out of her face.

"That was cold," she said, smiling up at me. I nodded and grabbed her arm so I could pull her up with me as I got to my feet.

"It's almost dinner," I told her. "We should be heading back." She grinned again and stepped towards me, lifting her chin so I could kiss her. After only a second, she moved away and picked up the guitar, which I'd laid down in the sand behind the rocks. Luckily, it had only gotten a few drops of water on it. I watched her as she wiped them off with her shirt and slung it over her shoulder. With an inward sigh, I grabbed her hand and we made our way back towards the village in silence, though I wished we could have just picked up where we left off.

~LOTI~

Clary went to put the guitar back in her room and I continued to the fire, thinking about what had happened on the rocks. I hadn't meant it to even go that far, but it seemed like, were it not for that _stupid_ wave, it would have gone even farther. The thought made my hands shake in nervous anticipation as I took a plate from Imogen, and she smiled confusedly at me. I grinned back, probably a little too enthusiastically, before I turned around and ran into straight into Kaelie.

"Oh, sorry," I said, still smiling. I took a bite of my food and waited for her to speak. I could see it in her eyes that she didn't plan on leaving me alone until she said what she wanted to say, and I was in too good a mood to care. Stupid mistake on my part, considering I should have known that I would never want to hear what Kaelie has to say when we're alone together.

"Jace, I love you." I choked on my food, almost dropping my plate as I coughed and tried to get my breath back. When I got control over myself, I opened my mouth to speak but Kaelie cut me off. "No, just listen to me for a minute. I've been in love with you for years, Jace. I don't know if you really couldn't tell, or if you just acted like you couldn't, but it doesn't even matter to me anymore. Now I know you know." She paused, waiting for me to say something. I didn't. I was completely speechless. "So, what are we going to do about it?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

I looked around to make sure no one was paying any particular attention to us before I grabbed her elbow and dragged her into the forest. She didn't resist as I pulled her only a few feet into the trees, just until we were out of sight of the people around the fire. "What are we going to do about it?" I repeated, completely incredulous. I didn't believe this could be happening, not after what a great day I'd had with Clary. "Nothing. We're going to act like you didn't just say that and go on with our lives." She glared stonily at me.

"We can't, Jace. You can't ignore the fact that I love you. You can't just continue dating Clary after what I just told you." I was starting to get pissed off, which really sucked after everything else that happened.

"Is that what this is about? _Clary?!_" I asked. Kaelie opened her mouth, and then closed it again, which she knew I took as an admission. "I'm not dating her to hurt you. Actually, whatever is going on between me and her, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Not that it's any of your goddamn business," I said angrily.

"Ugh, I know," she said, surprising me. My fingers unclenched from the fists I hadn't even realized I'd made. "But . . . I just don't think she's good enough for you, Jace."

"That's not your decision to make, Kaelie," I said, more gently. I hadn't been lying when I told her that I wasn't trying to hurt her. She'd been a great friend of mine for the majority of my life, and I did care about her. She sighed and looked down at her feet.

"I know. Sorry. I just _hate her," _she muttered, kicking at the ground.

"No, you don't. You hate _me _because I don't feel the same way about you that you think you do about me." Suddenly, he whole demeanor changed. She stepped closer and fluttered her eyelashes at me.

"Come on, Jace. You know that I'm better for you than Clary is. She doesn't belong here. She never will." My anger rose again but I pushed it back. It wouldn't do me any good in this situation. "Go out with me once and I'll show you that I can make you twice as happy as she can." She stepped forward again and put her hand on my chest, running her fingers down to my stomach. I grabbed her wrist and pulled it away from my body, backing away as I dropped it back to her side.

"Kaelie, you're starting to piss me off. You're dating my _best friend. _Even if I did have feelings for you, _which I don't_, I wouldn't date you. Stay with Sebastian and stop chasing me. Nothing is going to happen between us. Ever. And, by the way, stop being a bitch to Clary. She hasn't ever done anything to you to deserve the way you treat her." I turned around and walked away, back to the fire. It was taking most of my concentration to try to get my anger to go away, and I collapsed into a chair.

"Hey, Jace," a familiar voice whispered, smooth lips brushing my ear. I looked up at Clary, feeling only slightly better after Kaelie's admission, and tried to make myself smile. But I couldn't. She stared down at me, her expression slowly changing from happy, to surprised, to angry. "Forget it." She threw her hands up into the air and stomped away from me, towards the beach. I swore under my breath and hopped up so I could follow her, but Kaelie stepped in front of me again. She didn't say anything, just smiled like she knew exactly what it was that just happened and why. I swore again and pushed past her to go after Clary.

When I reached the beach a few minutes later, Clary was standing on the rocks, her back to me and her arms crossed over her chest. Her shoulders were shaking like she was crying. Or maybe just really pissed off. I sighed and walked towards her. "Clary, look-," I said but she whirled around and cut me off. Her expression threw me off guard; it was angry, but the amount of hurt in her eyes stole the words from my mouth.

"Jace, I'm getting kind of sick of your mood swings. I mean, earlier, you were so sweet and you made me feel better when I was upset. Then the next time I see you, you're snarling at me like I punched you. I don't know what I did but-," she said but her words cut off. As she was speaking, I'd moved towards her since I was still unable to speak. I caught her in my arms and pressed my mouth against hers, pulling her body tight against mine. I tried to make her understand through my touch that I wasn't mad at her, that it was something else entirely and that I was sorry. She seemed to understand as she kissed me back, and I lifted her feet off the ground.

I needed her to forgive me. I needed her to understand how crazy I was about her. I just needed _her._

* * *

**The point of Clary's minor emotional breakdown was just to let everyone know that she _is _still homesick, despite how happy she is. And you got some Jace and Kaelie drama in there. Think Kaelie is going to back off any time soon? Yeah, me neither :) **

**So this week, between last Wednesday and most likely next Tuesday or so, _has _absolutely and _will _absolutely suck. I don't get any time to myself lately. It's like everyone expects something from me, you know? It's affecting my relationships now, and I don't like it :(**

**But no worries. The next update will be next Wednesday at the latest. I promise. I've been getting really good at getting my homework and stuff done in school so any down time I have at home I can spend writing. This story is my baby, and it's an escape from my hectic life. So I have absolutely no plans to postpone anything on this story. It will moved on as planned.**

**Thanks again for all the reviews! It makes me absolutely ecstatic every time I get a new one! And it shocked me how many reviews I've been getting lately from people just starting the story now and liking it :) It makes me feel really good that so many people enjoy the story. I love it :D**

**Read and Review, because reviews are the peanut butter to my jelly. :P**


	27. Not Ready I Think

_**{Clary POV}**_

"I don't know what I did but-," I said, feeling flustered and hurt. I didn't understand what the hell had made him look at me so angrily when I'd walked up to him at the fire, like I'd done something so horrible to him. But before I knew it, Jace's arms were around me and he was kissing me so passionately that it took my breath away and made goose bumps rise along my skin. I felt weak-kneed as I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. His arms tightened around my waist and he lifted me up until I could barely reach the sand with my tip toes. He kissed me long and hard for a few minutes before he pulled back, and I felt more than a little breathless as he moved his lips to my ear. His breath was warm and I giggled as it tickled me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and I shivered. Who knew an ear could be so sensitive? "It wasn't anything you did. I never meant to upset you."

"That's okay," I replied and I felt his mouth against my shoulder. My heart was pounding in my chest as I tightened my grip around his neck and held his head down to my skin. After a few seconds, I pulled out of his arms and tugged on the edge of my shirt to straighten it. "Are you going to do that every time I get pissed at you?" I asked, smoothing out my hair. He grinned at me, his amber eyes sparkling in the light from the setting sun. I stared at him for a second, swallowing back the dreamy sigh that threatened to escape my throat.

"Do you get pissed at me a lot?" he replied, reaching up. He brushed a lock of my hair out of my face and I hid my shaking hands behind my back. I didn't want him to know just how much the simplest of touches from him affected me.

"All the time," I replied honestly. He laughed and grabbed my hand so he could twine his fingers with mine. The small act of affection made me smile.

"Then, yes. I will do that every time you get pissed at me." I bit my lip to keep from giggling like a little girl and we made our way back to the village together. When we stepped out of the trees, Jace's hand tightened on mine and I looked up at him in surprise, but he was staring straight ahead. I saw his jaw muscle twitch and I followed his gaze to see Kaelie and Jonathan, both glaring at us, standing side by side by the fire. Right at that moment, they looked more like twins than Jonathan and Aline ever had. I brought my hand up to my mouth and bit my wrist to keep myself from laughing out loud, and Jace looked down at me. "What?" he asked curiously.

I turned away from the fire so Kaelie and Jonathan wouldn't see me laughing. I didn't want to piss them off anymore than they so obviously already were. When I turned back, Jonathan was clenching his hands into fists as he stared at Jace, and Kaelie was glaring daggers at me. "Shit," I whispered, the smile wiped off my face. My eyes were on Kaelie, and I was starting to feel guilty. She was pissed –that much was obvious in the set of her jaw and the anger in her eyes- but I could see her hands shaking and the pain behind the rage. I'd never meant to hurt her, but I could tell that she really was upset that Jace was with me instead of her.

"What?" Jace asked again. I didn't answer as I watched Kaelie turn around and walk away, and Jonathan followed shortly after. They climbed up separate ladders and disappeared into their houses.

"Shit," I said again. Jace turned and looked at me questioningly, and I sighed. "I never wanted to hurt anyone," I muttered. He took my hand and dragged me towards the house. I followed him up the ladder and into my room, where I sat down on my bed and looked down at my hands guiltily. He sat down next to me and tried to take my hand, but I shook my head. "Why did I have to mess up someone else's life, now, too?" I asked, exasperated.

"You didn't mess up anyone's life, Clary. Even if you weren't here –and it's not your fault that you are- I wouldn't be with Kaelie. She doesn't want to admit that, so she's looking for someone to blame. You're the easiest target because you're too nice to fight back." I narrowed my eyes at him, though what he said did make sense. It surprised me that he knew what to say to make me feel better. We'd obviously had to spend a lot of time together, but I didn't know that he could read me so easily.

"I'm not too nice," I told him and he snorted. "I'm not! I'm actually quite a bitch!" I complained. Jace laughed and shook his head at me, and I punched him in the arm as hard as I could. Which obviously wasn't as hard as I thought, since he didn't even flinch.

"You're not very strong either, are you?" he asked, laughing at me again. I butted him with my shoulder and grinned as the last of the guilt I was feeling faded. I wondered if he knew how much it meant to me that he could make me feel so much better.

"I totally am strong. I just didn't want to hurt you," I lied. He raised his eyebrow at me and I attempted to do the same right back, though I knew I wasn't successful when he laughed at me. "You question my badass-ness?" I asked and he threw his head back and laughed. I giggled with him and pushed him with my shoulder again. "I bet I could tackle you," I said, narrowing my eyes like I was studying him. He looked at me, a clear challenge in his eyes. "But I'm going to do it when you least expect it. So, you better watch your back," I threatened. He grinned and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me against him. I automatically snuggled closer into his side. He was _so warm. _

"Looking forward to it," he said, leaning forward to whisper it in my ear. I laughed and slapped his arm, blood rushing to my face. Jace's hand lifted from his side and his fingertips skimmed slowly over my cheek. "Hungry?" I nodded and we went back to the fire, where Aline joined us a few minutes later, followed soon after by Isabelle and the rest of the group. When I saw Simon's hand resting comfortably on the small of Isabelle's back, I looked down at the ground to hide my grin.

I stared at Jace as Aline animatedly told the group a story, talking with her hands. He was listening to her but kept sneaking glances at me, and I smiled to myself. It was almost disconcerting how much I liked him. When I woke up for the first time after the cruise accident, I hadn't thought I would be able to be even remotely happy on the island. But Jace was making me happy, and I was crazy about him for it. When he noticed that I was staring at him, he turned his head to look at me, and our eyes met and held. I felt my lips pull into a smile as I looked into his amazing golden eyes, which seemed to be smoldering in the light of the crackling flames. I wanted him to kiss me again like he had on the beach when I'd been pissed off at him. I wanted him to wrap his strong arms around me and pull me against him, so every line of my body was pressed against him. I wanted his hands in my hair and his lips against my bare skin, anywhere. _Everywhere_. I wanted to run my fingertips over the muscles on his chest, arms, stomach and back, just to feel the hardness of his body. I wanted to hear him whisper my name as pure pleasure shot through my body, the kind only _he _could bring . . .

Jace must have seen something in my eyes, because his own darkened and his lips parted. I could see his chest rising and falling with his rapid breathing and I felt my own speed up to match. My body swayed towards his slightly, and I had a feeling I would have thrown myself onto his lap if Aline didn't clear her throat, clearly amused. I looked at her and felt the blood rush into my face and all the way to my hairline, and not only because she just saw something so intimate between Jace and I. It was because I was a virgin, with no plans to change that status, but I'd been imagining going further with Jace. It hadn't even been a whole day since he first kissed me and already I wanted more. Jeez, I was turning into such a ho. _Is that what happens when you think you'll never have a chance to ever do something like that? You want it more, sooner than you would have if it had always been a possibility?_ I wondered.

I sat back and looked up at the stars, thinking. Did I want Jace in that way? _Yes._ Was I ready to take it farther? No, absolutely not. Not even close. Jace was sweet and funny and really good looking. But it was too soon. I liked him a lot, but not enough to where I could just sleep with him and go on with my day like nothing happened, like it was any other ordinary day. I wanted my first time to _really mean_ something, to be special and perfect. Not too early and not before I was positive I was ready. At the moment, I was positive that I _wasn't _ready. Not emotionally, anyway. But my body must have wanted Jace more than anything else, because for a minute it had been like I lost control. And I could still feel the desire to feel his skin against mine coursing through me. My entire body felt warm and electrically charged, on edge and eager for the brush of his rough fingers against my soft skin.

Without my permission, my eyes slipped closed and I started imagining things that would usually make me blush: Jace, his shirt off, pressing me into the sand; his lips all over me; every hard line of him under my fingers, strong muscles riplling as he moved; his lips by my ear, sensually whispering my name; a symphony of sounds coming from both of us: whimpering, moaning, gasping, groaning, building into screams of ecstasy. It was so realistic that I could feel my whole body trembling as his breath washed over my ear. _Clary . . . Clary . . ._

"Clary, wake up," Jace said in my ear, gently shaking my shoulder. My eyes snapped open and I sat up, stretching my arms above me and tilting my head forward to try and hide my blush.

"Did I fall asleep?" I asked and Jace nodded, an adorable smile on his face. "Where's Aline?" He shrugged and gestured with his chin towards the house Jonathan had disappeared into earlier. I yawned and Jace smiled again.

"I would have carried you but I figured you'd get mad at me," he said as I stood up. I looked down at him, and grinned.

"So, you didn't _want _me to get pissed off at you?" I asked. He raised his eyebrows and his lips pulled into a mischievous smile that made my heart do a little flip. I couldn't tell if it was nervousness or anticipation that was causing the butterflies to fly around crazily in my stomach. "I'm going to go to bed. Night, Jace." I leaned down and just barely brushed my lips against his cheek, smiling when I heard his breath hitch.

"Good night," he said back. I turned around and walked towards the house, and I could feel his eyes on me until I walked through the doorway of my room. With a happy sigh, I collapsed onto my bed and fell back asleep almost as soon as my head hit my pillow . . .

Only to have the scariest nightmare I'd ever had.

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**Hey! I know, that was a cliffie :D but at least you got some steamy thoughts, right? Riiiight?**

**Okay, yes, I know this is a day late. And I know I said no excuses. But this is an exception. For the last three days, I've been horribly, miserably sick. And by sick, I mean 'curled up in a ball unable to move except to lean over the garbage can', kind of sick. But after lots of Nyquil, sleep, homemade chicken noodle soup, and texts from my friends practically screaming at me to get well, I feel much better. Not 100%, but hey, I can deal :D **

**Sorry for the slightly late update, and to make it up to you, the next one will be a day early. Chapter twenty-eight will be up on Tuesday :) Just as long as I don't get super sick again, which I don't think I will. I rarely ever get sick. But when I do, it's a doosy. **

**Hope you liked this chapter! Read and Review like you have been so far, because reviews are the chicken to my noodle soup :P haha. **


	28. Night Terrors

_**{Jace POV}**_

I watched Clary as she climbed the ladder and disappeared into her room, and followed a few minutes later. My mom was already asleep in her bed and I pressed my lips against her forehead before I got comfortable on the floor. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

A noise woke me up, the sound of a footstep on the deck outside. I didn't know how, but I just _knew _it was Clary. I propped myself on my elbows and stared at the doorway, waiting eagerly. The footsteps got closer and I saw a shadow spread out across the deck outside, just before Clary stepped into my sight. My jaw dropped and I stared in silent amazement at her.

Clary was glowing, actually _glowing. _It looked like there was a light on inside her, making her skin somehow look tan and blazing with a faint white illumination at the same time. Her thick, long, wavy, red hair was down around her shoulders, and it was gently billowing in a breeze I couldn't feel, as was the _extremely _thin nightgown she was wearing. It had thin straps and a low neckline and showed off a lot of her sexy thighs, as well as the outline of every curve of her tiny body. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. With a smile that glowed more than her amazing body, she lifted her arm and cocked her index finger twice, beckoning that I follow as she turned and disappeared around the house again. As I jumped up and followed, I noticed her feet weren't touching the ground, that she was actually _floating _a few inches off the wooden deck.

So, it was a dream, then. How disappointing.

That realization did nothing to stop me from following her down the ladder and to the beach, though. When I stepped through the trees, she was already standing on the rocks. Well, hovering above them, anyway. I walked quickly towards her and she turned around, grinning at me. But it wasn't her usual smile. This one was slow and sexy, like she knew a secret that, if I made the right move, she'd tell me. All I knew was, more than anything else in the world, I wanted to know that secret. I _needed to know._

I moved towards her and put my hands on her bare shoulders, so I could skim them over the smoothness of her arms and down to her hands. Her skin was warm, almost hot to the touch, but that didn't stop me from pulling her into my arms and kissing her. Her lips were even hotter than the rest of her body, but it was a good heat, and all it did was make me pull her closer as my desire for her grew and grew. Like it usually did, her body responded under my hands, and I felt her fingers pushing up the front of my shirt. I shuddered and pulled my shirt over my head before I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her more firmly against me. "Clary," I groaned, moving my lips down to her neck and my hands down to cup her ass. Her arms wound around my neck and, without warning, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. I groaned again and lowered us to the ground so I could press her down into the sand, grinding my hips into hers. The friction every thrust against her created made my eyes roll back in my head. Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed, and I heard her make a tiny noise in the back of her throat as I dragged my hand down her thigh and then pushed it up under the hem of the nightgown. Her heat enveloped my fingers, coating them in her juices, and I couldn't wait to taste her. I moved back a little to pull her nightgown off of her and . . .

I sat up, still on the floor of the room I shared with my mom. My breathing was hard and ragged, and I strained my ears to try to hear the sound that woke me up. After not hearing the sound again for a few minutes, I sighed and laid back down. Damn it. The dream was replaying over and over in my head, and I wished it hadn't been a dream. Or that it hadn't been interrupted before the end. I closed my eyes and pictured Clary like she had been, with her hair down and blowing in the breeze and with more skin showing than not. I was just falling asleep when I heard it again . . .

A small whimper, like someone in pain. My eyes snapped open when I heard it a third time and I jumped up. The sound put me on edge and made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I crept along the outside of the house slowly, trying not to make any noise, whether to make sure I could hear the sound again or to stay hidden I didn't know. I heard the whimper again and I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up when I realized where it was coming from. Clary's room.

_What if Jonathan snuck into her room while she was sleeping? What if he was hurting her? Was she okay?_ _What would I do if she wasn't? _Questions bounced around my head as I pushed away from the wall, and I sprinted the rest of the way to Clary's room and skidded to a stop just inside the doorway. I looked around in anger, my hands clenching into fists, but Clary and I were the only ones in the room. At first, I thought she looked peaceful. Her back was to me, her hair spilling out over the pillow. But she whimpered again and I paid closer attention. Her hands were pressed into her face, her nails digging into her temples, and the blanket my mom had given her was twisted around her legs. The skin of her face and neck was glistening with a thin sheen of sweat. When I paid even closer attention, I could see that her whole body was shaking, and I walked towards her and gently kneeled next to the bed. Her face was too pale, almost white, and curls of her hair were sticking to the perspiration on her forehead.

"Clary," I whispered, reaching out to touch her face.

"No! Please, don't touch me. Let me go!" she said, her body shaking harder. I pulled my hand back, my chest tightening in fear. What if there was something wrong with her? All of a sudden she started thrashing around in bed, and when I saw that her eyes were still closed, I realized she was still dreaming. I climbed onto the bed next to her and grabbed her shoulders, trying to hold her down before she hurt herself. "No! No, please, no! Not again!" she cried.

"Clary! Clary, wake up! It's only a dream. It's not real!" I shook her gently, trying to wake her up. After a few moments of me shaking her and calling her name, she made a choking sound, and then her body calmed down a little, settling back onto the bed. I let go of her shoulders and took her hand. "Clary," I said, pressing my lips against her knuckles. I reached out with my free hand and stroked her face. "Come on, Clary, wake up."

She sat up so fast I almost fell off the bed. As it was, my hand fell away from her face and I scrambled back so I didn't scare her. She looked around, her breathing loud and harsh, until her gaze focused on me. For a second, she looked terrified, like she thought I was going to hurt her. My chest tightened again and I held my hands up to show her I was harmless. Then, she seemed to recognize me and the terror went out of her eyes, replaced by relief.

"Jace," she breathed. But even the relief didn't last long. I stepped towards her and suddenly her expression changed. Her eyes filled with a pain so deep that I paused again, feeling like someone just punched the breath out of me. Then she was crying, her shoulders heaving and tears rolling down her face to fall off her chin and onto her shirt. I sat on the bed next to her and rubbed her back, not sure what else to do. She turned her head to look at me, paused for a second, and then launched herself into my arms. I held her tight, burying my face in her hair as I felt her wet cheeks against my neck.

"Shh," I murmured gently. "It's okay. It was only a dream. You're okay." I said it over and over again, doing my best to comfort her. I'd never heard her cry this hard before, not even after she'd heard what I'd said to my mom the first day she went to do chores with me. This wasn't even my fault, but I still felt it like I should have done something to stop it. No one deserved to feel the pain she was obviously feeling.

I still hated tears, especially after that little scene with Kaelie in the forest. But I would deal with them for Clary. She needed me, and I wouldn't abandon her for something that stupid. I would be here as long as she needed me, and even after that in case she needed me again. I would protect her from anyone and anything she required protecting from. My breath caught in my throat and I choked on it for a second. I'd never felt that way about anyone but my family. But everyone felt that way about blood relatives. I would always be there for my mom if she ever needed me, but it was a different kind of feeling with Clary. I didn't know what it was yet, and I didn't let myself think about it. Because thinking about it might bring me to a realization that I wasn't ready for.

Clary cried into my shoulder for about ten minutes before she calmed down. Her sobbing turned to silent crying, to hiccupping, and then to heavy breathing, and I held her tight through it all. I'd pulled her onto my lap while she cried and my hands rubbed circles into her back.

"You must think I'm pathetic," she whispered, hiding her face against my shoulder. My arms tightened around her.

"Not at all," I replied and I felt her breath as she sighed. We sat like that in silence for a half hour. I continued to rub her back and, every once and a while, Clary would reach up to touch my face or run her fingers through my hair. I didn't try to kiss her or ask her what her dream was about; I just wanted her to feel okay again. I really wanted her to be happy and whatever I had to do to make it happen, I would do it, without batting an eye. I felt her body relaxing in my arms, felt her breathing deepen, and I knew she'd fallen asleep. As slowly and gently as I could, I turned and laid her down on the bed, covering her with the blanket. I brushed my lips against her forehead and walked out slowly, unwilling to leave her.

Once I got to my room and laid down, it only took me about ten minutes to fall asleep again, and I slept dreamlessly until dawn.

~LOTI~

"Jonathan, get your lazy butt up," my mom said, but her voice was warm and full of love. I grinned sleepily and rubbed my eyes, then sat up as the previous night came rushing back to me.

"Mom, whatever you do, do not wake up Clary. Just let her sleep. She had a nightmare last night and I think it'd be better for her if you gave her the day off." I looked at her and she nodded, her expression concerned.

Thankfully, my mom decided to let Clary sleep, so I left for chores that morning alone. I couldn't believe it had barely been a full day since I'd first kissed Clary. It felt like I'd been with her for most of my life, and that it was the way it should always be. Being with Clary felt _right, _and I couldn't believe I'd ever thought I hated her. Well, not hated, but I'd been scared of her. I'd been sure she was only there to change my life and the way I saw the world, when that had been the last thing I'd wanted. Now I know I'd been right. She did change my life and my view of everything, just not in the way that I feared. She made me happier, took me out of my own little world and told me just what I was missing. She made me realize that there was a lot more to see, and that, if I ever were to see it, I'd only want to see it with one person: her. The simple fact of the matter was that I was crazy about her.

After chores, I walked as fast as I could back to the village and went in search of Clary, anxious to see her face. She wasn't in the room, and I checked for the guitar before I left. It was sitting in the corner, right where it always was. I walked around the house to see if she was in my room, but it was empty. I frowned and climbed down the ladder.

"Jonathan!" my mom called and I turned around, hoping Clary was with her. She wasn't. I walked towards her with a disappointed sigh.

"Hey, mom," I said, scanning the village to see if I could find her. "Have you seen Clary?" She hesitated, and I turned to look at her. Her expression was apologetic and she wouldn't meet my eyes, and I suddenly had a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. "Mom?" I asked.

"Yeah, Jonathan, I know where she is. But . . . I think she wants to be alone right now." I could hear it in her voice that she wasn't telling me the whole truth, and I narrowed my eyes at her. She sighed and looked down at her feet. "Fine, Jonathan. She's in the clearing," she said and I knew exactly where she was talking about. The clearing was where Clary and I had built the hammocks. "But she specifically told me not to tell you that. She said she doesn't want to see you." The words were harsh but her tone was gentle. That didn't stop it from hurting, though. Why didn't she want to see me? What had I done wrong?

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know, but she seemed really sad. As sad as she was when she first got here, maybe even a little sadder." I looked towards the forest, where I could just barely see the small dirt path that led straight to the clearing. She was avoiding me, that much was obvious, but I couldn't figure out why. Had I said something wrong last night?

"I'm going to go talk to her," I said. She tried to stop me but I shrugged off her hand and ran to the path, and it only took me five minutes to get to the clearing. Clary was lying on her back on the ground, her ankles crossed and her arms under her head. I stared at her for a few moments before I walked towards her. I needed to know why she was avoiding me. Just the thought of Clary being mad at me without my knowing why made my chest feel like it was about to explode. I had to know.

And then I had to fix it.

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**Even island people have drama! . . . or maybe it's just Clary, eh? :) and does anybody else wish Jace was having dirty dreams about them? Or is that just me?**

**Any mistakes in this chapter should be blamed on my teachers, bosses, coaches, and friends, for taking all my time and exhausting me. :) Just kidding, but seriously this week has been crazy busy _again. _But I promised I'd have it up by tonight, so here it is. Let me know if I made any mistakes? **

**Keep on reading and reviewing, because reviews make me smile :D**

**P.S. We're nine reviews away from 200 reviews. That may not sound like a lot to some people, but considering this is my first story, it makes me supremely happy. Can we reach 200 reviews by the next chapter? That would be absolutely amazing! **


	29. The Truth

_**{Clary POV}**_

I stared up at the canopy of leaves above me, fighting back the tears that had been fighting to fall all morning, since the moment I woke up and remembered what had happened the night before. It did no good to cry anymore, and it didn't ever make me feel any better. I heard the snap of a twig behind me and I turned around to look at who'd found me. Jace was walking slowly towards me, and I stared at him in surprise for a minute. I'd specifically asked Celine not to tell anyone where I was, _especially _not Jace. I wanted to be alone and think about the dream, but I wouldn't be able to concentrate if he was anywhere near me. The electricity I always felt running between our bodies was a major distraction. Also, I was completely mortified about the way I acted in front of him. I couldn't believe he'd seen my complete emotion breakdown.

I hid my surprise quickly and replaced it with the mask I'd seen him use so many times. I figured that maybe he'd finally realize how much it pissed people off. "Jace," I said tonelessly, turning back around. "Your mom really is a terrible gossip, you know that?" He didn't answer as he lowered himself onto the ground next to me. Why was it that every time I saw him, my heart tried to beat right out of my chest? Why did my hands start shaking? And why in the hell did I want to just throw myself into his arms? It just wasn't normal, and I was sure it couldn't be healthy.

"Hey," he said, but I didn't look at him. "Mind telling me what it was I did?" I sighed and sat up so my back was to him. I started yanking grass out of the ground and throwing it away from me.

"Nothing," I replied honestly. It wasn't _him;_ it was how he made me feel. No one had ever seen me cry like that, not even my parents. I had been upset and needed comforting, but now that I had more time to think about it, I wasn't okay with him seeing me like that. It was more than just a little humiliating.

He didn't say anything for a few minutes, and I could feel the tension between us. A part of me hoped he'd leave because I wanted to sit here and wallow in my own self-pity, but the rest of me, the bigger part of me, wanted him to put his arms around me and whisper in my ear that he forgave me and I wasn't as pathetic as I felt. He didn't do either. "Why are you avoiding me, then?" he asked finally, his tone almost as flat as I'd made mine.

"I'm not. I didn't have anything to do, so I came here and -," I said but he cut me off.

"Oh, please, Clary. That's bullshit. If you really weren't avoiding me, you wouldn't have told my mom not to tell me where you were. So, why don't you cut the crap and tell me what's really going on." I turned around to glare at him, and his lips pulled into the cutest little smile I'd ever seen. I looked away quickly so he wouldn't see my grin as my humiliation melted away. Damn Jace. Why couldn't he stop being such a nice guy? Why couldn't he be the guy who he'd been when I first got here? At least I could hate him then, and hating him would be a lot easier than having feelings for him. Especially strong feelings that I couldn't even hope to understand.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said, refusing to meet his gaze as I felt it scan the part of my face he could see. I stood up to walk away but he jumped up and stepped in front of me. When I moved to walk past him, he put his hands on my arms and held me in place. I ignored the goose bumps on my skin and the tiny electric shocks I seemed to be feeling under his fingers. They definitely weren't helping me.

"Well, you're going to have to talk about it if you expect to go back to the village. Because we're not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." I narrowed my eyes and glared at him again.

"I said I don't want to talk about it." I tried stepping away but he tightened his hands around my upper arms.

"Too bad." My heart felt like it was about to explode, and the tears were about to win the battle I was fighting against them, but I wouldn't let him see that. Instead, I got defensive.

"Well, it's none of your damn business what's bothering me. So, let me go. I'm going back." I yanked my arms away again and Jace let me go, but he just grabbed my hands before I could leave.

"Clary, come on. You won't feel any better if you keep pushing people away," he said, gently squeezing my hands and pulling me towards him. I knew he was right and it took everything I had to shake my head and back away again.

"Screw you, Jace. You don't know anything. And you don't know me," I replied. He grinned and pulled me towards him again, moving his hands quickly to my shoulders.

"I may not know you completely, but I know enough. And I know that this _isn't you. _Sitting here alone, pushing people away, hiding your feelings. It's not you. Simple as that." Through all of it, he didn't look mad. His eyes were kind and understanding. He wasn't looking at me like I was pathetic. He was looking at me like . . . he cared about me. Tears filled my eyes, finally beating me, and I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Now _this _is you," he said against my hair, his arms tight around my shoulders.

"I-I'm sorry. It's just with the dream and I was so ashamed that you saw me like that and I miss my parents and my life. It was too much. I let it get to me." He pulled back to look at me and I wiped my wrist across my eyes.

"Why were you ashamed?" I pulled away from him and stared down at the ground, embarrassed all over again.

"I was losing my mind over a dream, Jace. A _dream. _That's kind of humiliating." Now he was starting to look a little mad. Uh oh.

"And? You were almost in tears while you were sleeping, Clary, so I'm thinking that was a pretty bad dream." He paused and I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Wait, were you ashamed because you crying because of a dream, or because you were crying in front of _me_?" he asked. I didn't answer and he seemed to understand what I meant. He lifted my chin with his finger and stared into my eyes. Again my heart started beating so hard that I could practically hear it. I would have been surprised if he couldn't. "That's ridiculous," he murmured gently. "There's nothing for you to be ashamed of." I looked back at him, feeling lightheaded and weak-kneed. Then, before I knew what was happening, I was in his arms, kissing him. I couldn't tell if I'd kissed him or if he'd kissed me first, but it didn't even matter. There was only Jace; his lips, his tongue as it slipped into my mouth, his hands on my waist, his silky hair as I ran my fingers through it. I pressed my body as close to his as I could, every inch the ho I never wanted to be, but was inevitably turning into. That thought had me gasping, and I pushed Jace away. "What?" he asked, reaching for me like he wanted to pull me back. I backed away slightly and held up my hands in front of me.

"No, Jace, wait. There's something I have to tell you." His hand paused a few feet from me and he raised his eyebrows.

"Now?" he asked, and I bit back my grin. Yeah, I wished it could wait, too.

"It's pretty important." My cheeks got hot and I looked down at the ground as I gnawed on my lip. He didn't say anything, waiting for me to speak. My blush deepened. "Well, it's kind of hard to say . . . and really embarrassing," I started and I heard Jace snort.

"Okay, you have my attention. Now I'm curious. Come on, it's okay. You can tell me." He took my hand and I looked at our fingers, twined together. Our hands seemed to fit together perfectly, like two halves of a whole, or puzzle pieces cut from the same material. That gave me a little bit of courage, as did the surprising realization that I trusted Jace not to laugh at me.

"Okay, well, I've never done anything," I said. I peaked at him through my eyelashes when he didn't respond, and he was staring at me confusedly. When I thought about it again, I realized it didn't make much sense the way I said it. I sighed and tried to reword it in my head. "Look, I've kissed people . . . but I've never gone any farther. And I'm not ready to." I said the last part on a single breath and refused to look into his eyes. He seemed to understand after a few minutes.

"You mean," he said, sounding completely shocked. "You're a virgin?" I nodded and continued looking at my feet. "Really?" I looked up at him and nodded again, very deliberately. He had to understand what I was trying to say, or we were going to have a problem. "Oh, okay."

"Okay? That's all you're going to say? _Okay?"_ I asked, trying to control my sputtering. It surprised me that I could say anything at all.

He grinned at me and shrugged. "I don't know. Yeah. What did you expect me to say?" I looked down at the ground as my blush came back.

"I don't know. Something like call me an inexperienced tease and walk away?" Jace laughed as he stepped towards me, and lifted my chin with his finger so I was forced to meet his eyes again.

"An inexperienced tease?" he repeated, his voice, his eyes and his expression full of amusement. I exhaled loudly and slapped him in the chest. But I was secretly relieved that he was okay with it. If he was already teasing me, he couldn't have been too upset, right?

"Hey, don't laugh at me. I'm too embarrassed to come up with anything else." He laughed again and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me to him.

"Okay, I'll admit it. It shocked me because I didn't expect it. Honestly, I thought you'd be more experienced than I am. _A lot _more experienced. So, I was wrong. That tends to happen a lot when it comes to you." He said the last sentence gently, leaning forward to whisper it in my ear. I shivered and put my arms around his neck, twining my fingers in his soft hair again. It was longer than it was when I first got to the island, and it curled around my fingers.

"Why did you think I would be more experienced?" I asked, arcing my chin as his mouth followed the curve of my neck. He was kissing me gently, almost hesitantly, like he was afraid of going too far too fast. I was surprised by how much I appreciated it, since I was barely in control of my body when he was around. And now that he knew how he felt, I could let him have the control without worrying about it going too far before I was absolutely certain I was ready.

"I don't even know. Sebastian and Aline thought since you were from the city, you'd know more about that kind of stuff." I snorted and shook my head slightly, but not enough to force him to remove his lips from my skin.

"Jeez, why am I not surprised? Oh yeah, because when Sebastian and I were on that stupid date, he asked me questions like he thought I was from a different freaking planet. You know, the people in the big cities aren't all that different from you islanders," I said as his mouth moved across my shoulder. "Well, okay maybe . . ." My voice drifted off as his lips moved back up my neck and then covered mine. I was a little more in control of my body now, but I still tightened my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him. I couldn't help myself; he just felt too good against me.

* * *

**I know. Not what may have been expected when Jace thought she was mad at him. But this chapter was kind of important for the rest of the story. It shows more of Clary's personality that will play a big role later on :D plus, she had to tell him she was a virgin! **

**Well, here's chapter twenty nine. I hope you enjoyed it! Read and Review and all that jazz :)**

**Next chapter will be up next week on Wednesday or Thursday. Wednesday is Halloween so I might not be home to post it. But if I'm not, it'll definitely be up on Thursday then. **


	30. Found Out

_**{Jace POV}**_

I didn't care that she was a virgin. All I cared about at the moment was kissing her. I deepened the kiss, gently skimming my hands up her back as I skimmed my tongue across her lower lip. She opened her mouth to me and I stroked her tongue with mine, fighting back the groan that was working its way up my throat. After a few minutes, she broke away again and looked at me. We were both breathing hard, and I could feel her breath wash across my face.

"Jace, I-," she said, seeming to struggle for words. I dragged my hands down her back, trying to comfort her and let her know she could tell me anything. Nothing she could say would change the way I felt about her, not anymore. There was no going back, even if I'd wanted to. "I'm not ready to go any farther," she said finally and I shrugged.

"Okay. I won't push you," I told her honestly. She smiled up at me, and I couldn't stop myself from leaning down to kiss her again. I gently brushed my mouth against hers once before I pulled back again. "Want to go to the beach?" She nodded and we made our way back towards the village, our hands twined between us.

"Thanks for coming to find me," Clary whispered about halfway to the village, her eyes trained on the forest ahead of us. I lifted our hands and pressed my lips against her knuckles.

"Anytime," I replied honestly. She smiled and leaned against my side, and I wrapped my arm around her. We walked the rest of the way to the village in silence, and then skirted around the outside so we could head towards the beach. When we were almost on the sand, I heard voices and pulled Clary to a stop, my stomach clenching. Their voices were almost as recognizable as their faces: Kaelie and Jonathan.

"What?" Clary asked, looking up at me with a confused expression. But the trust in her eyes told me that she knew I wouldn't have stopped if I hadn't thought we needed to. That warmed the ice in my veins a little, but I held my fingers to my lips and strained my ears to hear what they were talking about. They were standing right at the edge of the trees where I couldn't see them, but I could still hear them.

"Jonathan, we had a deal. You promised!" Kaelie whined. There was another sound I couldn't identify, but I ignored it and listened to what they were saying. _Deal? What deal?_ I wondered.

"I know, baby. I'm working on it," Jonathan said back. I furrowed my eyebrows. _Baby?_ Their voices seemed to be coming from the same spot, like they were standing extremely close to each other. I chanced a peak through a gap in the trees and my eyes widened when I saw them. Jonathan was pressing Kaelie back against a tree, his hands and mouth all over her body. I pulled back and met Clary's startled gaze; she'd seen them, too.

"What about Sebastian?" she whispered and I shrugged, feeling my stomach clench even more.

"I don't care what you have to do," I heard Kaelie say, her voice breathy and moaning. I didn't even want to know why. Just the thought made me sick to my stomach. "But you promised."

"I'll take care of it," Jonathan replied.

"Good because with that bitch Clary around, Jace will never realize how much better I am for him," Kaelie said and my jaw dropped. Holy crap. I looked down at Clary to see her eyes wide with shock and fear, and her hand started trembling in mine. Her mouth opened like she wanted to say something –or maybe scream- but I shook my head at her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. I pulled her tight against me and rubbed her arm, trying to silently comfort her while I listened closer. I wanted to know what they were planning so I could protect Clary from them the best I could. Nothing bad would ever happen to her, not if I could help it.

"I can handle it," Jonathan growled and I heard Kaelie gasp. They didn't say anything else, and before we could find out what they were doing, I grabbed Clary's hand and pulled her back through the forest. We didn't stop until we were in her room, and she collapsed onto the bed.

"Why does she hate me so much?!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. I would have believed she was actually angry were it not for the slight quiver in her voice and the trembling of her hands. THe anger swelled in me when I realized how terrified she was of what we'd heard. "I haven't done anything to her! I mean, it's not like I'm living in her house or borrowing her clothes or anything! I don't even talk to her! What the hell does she want from me?!" I sat down next to her and took her hand.

"She doesn't hate you, Clary. She hates me. It's nothing you did." She looked at me and I saw tears forming beneath her eyelids.

"I don't know what to do, Jace. Being with you makes me happy. But it hurts her that you're with me so much and I don't want to hurt anybody. What do I do?" she whispered, looking away. I understood what she was saying, and it hurt. She was saying that she didn't want to be with me if it hurt Kaelie. And I was sure that she was afraid of Jonathan, especially with his threat hanging in the air. I didn't even know if what Clary and I had was even considered 'being together'. I mean, I'd only just built up the courage to kiss her.

"Clary, I've told you before. Even if there wasn't anything between us, I still wouldn't be with Kaelie. Even if she wasn't with Sebastian –or Jonathan now, I guess- I still wouldn't be with her. I don't have those feelings for her, never have, never will." She met my eyes again and her expression was closed off, like she was trying to hide what she was feeling from me. Was that what I did? I understood why it pissed her off so much.

"What _is_ between us?" she asked me, her voice toneless.

"What do you mean?" I was so confused my head was spinning. She pulled her hands out of mine and crossed them in her lap, looking down at her fingers.

"Why do you like me?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Does it matter why?" I asked. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself and tell her the mile long list I had of things I liked about her. That'd be pretty humiliating. She nodded but cut me off when I opened my mouth to speak.

"Do you like me because I'm different than the people you grew up with? Do you like me because we _didn't_ grow up together, so you don't really know me? Is this only because you think I'm new and exciting? Are you only humoring me by pretending you like me? I mean, I wonder if you like me because of who I'm not, instead of who I am."

"Clary, if any of that was true, don't you think I'd have been after you since you got here? Would I have been such a dick when we first met if I only liked you now because I didn't grow up with you?" I asked, my voice incredulous. She peaked at me out of the corner of her eye, and I saw her cheek twitch, like she was trying not to smile. Just imagining her smile made me feel a little better. I reached over and slowly took her hand, feeling more encouraged when she didn't pull away. I was getting better at making her feel better. "Besides," I said gently, rubbing my thumb over her wrist. "What is there about you that I wouldn't like?" Now she was really smiling, but she turned her head away so I wouldn't see it. I tugged on the end of her ponytail. "Who you are, who you're not, who you used to be, who you could be, who you want to be . . . I like them all."

Clary giggled and turned to look at me, her hand squeezing mine. "That's kind of corny," she said, her blue eyes shining. I shrugged and returned her smile. "But thanks, Jace." I leaned forward and was just about to kiss her when I heard someone calling my name.

"Jace! Jace, where are you?" I clenched my teeth together, recognizing Kaelie's voice.

"Damn it," I growled. Clary glanced at the door and then back at me. I could see the sadness in her eyes, and I pressed my lips against her forehead. "Tell me what you want me to do," I whispered to her. She didn't want Kaelie to be hurt, and I didn't want Clary to get mad. I couldn't think of any solution that would get us both what we wanted.

"Go talk to her. Meet me at the beach when you're done." Her voice was resigned, like she was getting ready to accept an inevitability. The only inevitability I knew of was that Kaelie was going to be mad because there was no way I was leaving Clary for her. Not an ounce of possibility.

"I won't take long," I promised her. I leaned down and kissed her gently. She smiled sadly at me and pushed me towards the door.

"Go on. Before she comes up here and sees you with me." I sighed and brushed her cheek with the back of my hand. I swore to myself that I would get this over with so fast she wouldn't even have time to miss me. She stood up and grabbed the guitar before making her way out of the house, and I followed shortly after, scanning the crowd for Kaelie. She saw me before I saw her.

"Jace!" she shouted, suddenly right next to me. I opened my mouth to speak but was unable to when she wrapped her hand around my neck and pulled my head down to hers. She kissed me hard, her fingers digging into my neck, and I was too stunned to do anything but stand there for a minute. When I got over the initial shock, I pushed her away and stared at her.

"What part of 'I don't like you that way' don't you understand?" I asked her, stepping back.

"The 'don't' part," she purred back, mirroring my movements so she was never less than a foot away from me. I snorted in disgust and stopped moving backwards. I was tired of the bullshit games she was always playing and I was going to make sure she knew how I felt.

"Listen to me, Kaelie. _Really listen for once. _I do not like you like that. Never have, never will. I like Clary. Not you. Sebastian likes you. I don't." I spoke slowly, wanting to force her to understand. She didn't. Of course not.

"Oh, Jace, stop playing hard to get. You know you want me." She pressed her palm against my chest and I gritted my teeth in annoyance.

"No, Kaelie. I don't. I never liked or wanted you more than a friend." Suddenly, I got an idea. I couldn't think of anything else that would work, so I went with it. "And if you don't start respecting my personal space and keeping your hands _and_ feelings to yourself, you're going to lose me as that, too." Her flirty expression didn't change at all.

"I want all of you, or none at all." So much for the ultimatum plan. Damn it.

"Kaelie, I don't want to hurt you. Seriously I don't," I said, frustrated. "But I don't like you." I grabbed her arms and looked right into her eyes. It was the last chance I had to make her realize that it wasn't happening. Ever. "Sebastian is in love with you. I don't like you more than a friend." She stared at me for a long moment before her eyes dropped to the ground, her shoulders sagging in my hands. I got the feeling she finally understood. But how long would it last?

"You really like her, don't you?" she whispered in a broken voice. I sighed.

"Yeah, Kaelie, I really do." She met my eyes with shiny ones of her own, her cheeks wet with tears.

"Why?! What does she have that I don't have? I have boobs and long hair, too!"

"Oh, please, Kaelie. That's so not why I like Clary. I like her because she's honest and selfless and kind and funny and loyal. How many of those can you honestly say you are?" Before she could answer, I let her arms go and stepped away. I'd known Kaelie all my life. We grew up together. And it hurt that she thought I only liked Clary because she had 'boobs and long hair'. I wasn't shallow, and I couldn't believe she thought I was. "You know what, Kaelie? I'm done fighting with you. If you can't be just my friend, then I guess we can't be friends at all. I'll see you around." I turned to walk away but stopped for a second, looking at her over my shoulder. "And, Kaelie? Sebastian is crazy about you. He'd do anything for you, even if it hurt him. Could you say the same about Jonathan?"

* * *

**There's the Kaelie we all know and hate! Am I the only one who wants to rip out all of her blonde hair? Haha :)**

**Anyway, here's chapter thirty! I can't believe we're this far into the story already! If it goes as planned, there should be about thirty nine chapters and an epilogue, so not too much to go. But don't worry. Things have only just started getting interesting in this story, and there's a lot of drama yet to come. **

**Starting next chapter, Jonathan comes back and stirs up some major shit. So just wait and see! **

**Oh, and read and review! Because reviews are the melodies to my songs :D**


	31. More

_**{Clary POV}**_

I sat down on the rocks and strummed the guitar a couple times, making sure it was tuned. There was a song running through my head, something I didn't remember ever hearing before, but I liked it. So I moved my fingers over the strings with the melody in my head, whispering the words to myself that came with it. I had to pause a few times, rewriting lines and changing notes in my head when they sounded wrong to me. I toyed with the chorus a little, but I couldn't figure out what was missing.

I wasn't alone for very long. I was only halfway through the song when Jace sat behind me, one leg on either side of my body. He scooted forward across the rocks, so my back was against his chest, before her started rubbing my shoulders. It felt good but my fingers didn't stop moving across the guitar strings. My excitement was growing; I'd never written a song before. But it felt right and I was having a blast with it.

Jace swept my hair off to one side and I felt him tugging the neck of my shirt down a little to bare some of my shoulder. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against my skin, and I caught my breath. That felt even _better. _His mouth traced a hot line over one shoulder, across the back of my neck, and then down my other shoulder. I shivered and my fingers stilled as I leaned back into him.

"You know, it's _really _hard to concentrate on music when you do that," I whispered, closing my eyes. Tiny electric tingles followed his lips as they moved back and forth, and I resisted the urge to moan.

"Sorry," he murmured back, his mouth leaving my skin. I opened my eyes and looked at him over my shoulder.

"I didn't say I wanted you to stop," I said and his perfect, full, _yummy _lips pulled into a smile. All thoughts of Kaelie and Sebastian and everyone else had flown from my mind as soon as he'd touched me. The fact that he could do that scared and excited me at the same time. I turned my head and pressed my mouth against his, feeling his arms wrap around me. He pulled away first, and smiled again when I followed and tried to recapture his lips with mine.

"What were you playing?" he asked, gesturing at the guitar with his chin. He snaked his arm under the guitar and around me so he held me back against his body. That was more than fine with me.

"I don't know what to call it yet. But it's something I just wrote," I admitted, putting the guitar on the sand next to me. No way was I going to be able concentrate on anything with Jace's body so close to mine. He leaned even closer to me and rested his chin on my shoulder, his cheek against my neck. I could feel rough stubble on his jaw and I giggled, turning to press my lips against his temple. "Don't you island guys ever shave?" I asked. He touched his face and grinned.

"Why? Don't you like it? I think it makes me seem manly." I laughed and pressed back against him even more.

"I think it makes you seem scruffy." He laughed with me and his arms slid back until his hands were on my waist. "What are you doing?" I asked just as he squeezed my sides. I screeched and giggled as he tickled me, and I tried to push him away. "No, stop it. Please!" I begged, slapping at him. He didn't stop tickling me and he was too strong for me to fight him. "Jace, please, I'll do anything!" His fingers stilled on my sides.

"Anything?" he asked, his voice amused. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"No, I take that back. Not anything." He laughed and started tickling me again until tears were running down my cheeks from laughing so hard. "You're a jerk!" I gasped, wiping my face with my arm.

"So, now I'm a scruffy jerk?" he asked, his eyes shining with his amusement. I laughed and nodded.

"Yeah. You're a scruffy jerk." He leaned forward and kissed me softly, his lips teasing mine. Who knew such a gentle kiss could feel so passionate? I know I didn't. I pulled away and settled back against him.

"So, are you feeling better from earlier?" he asked, resting his chin on my shoulder again. I sighed and nodded.

"I'm fine. I just really hate hurting people. Especially on the island. I've never met such a truly kind group of people. Everyone here is so great." Jace's arms tightened around me and I felt his lips against my hair before he moved them to my ear.

"Yeah. And you fit in perfectly, Clary."

~LOTI~

For the next three weeks, Jace and I were nearly inseparable, except when I forced him to spend time with Sebastian and the rest of his friends. While he was gone, I hid in my room and played the guitar. Before I knew it, I'd written and perfected three songs, all on my own. It came naturally to me and it was the most fun I'd had in a long time. It didn't even bother me that no one was ever going to hear them, unless Celine asked me to play again.

Jonathan stayed away from me, and apparently Kaelie kept her distance from Jace, too. I was happy, happier than I'd ever thought possible on the island, and I started missing home less and less. The pain and homesickness was still there but I could live with it without feeling like I wanted to cry every other day. My feelings for Jace grew and my body continued to respond every time he touched me. But, knowing that I wasn't ready, I was able to control it, and he didn't try to push me. That made me like him even more.

I put the guitar down next to me on the bed and got up to look at the calendar that was still on my wall. I'd been on the island for seven months exactly, over half a year. Were my parents still looking for me or have they given up? Do they think I'm dead? Did the asshole who caused this ever confess or did he go on with his life like he hadn't ruined mine? Do my parents think about me? Have they forgotten about me? Do I-?

My depressing thoughts were cut off when I heard someone right outside the door call my name. "Clarissa." It was a rough whisper so I couldn't tell who it was. I tiptoed to the door and peaked out, just in time for someone standing by the doorframe to jump at me. I screeched in shock, but the arms that wrapped around me were way too familiar for me to be scared. They lifted me into the air and over to the bed, and then quickly but gently put me down so I was on my back. Jace leaned over me, his smile huge, as I tried to get my breath back. "Hi," he said nonchalantly, like he hadn't just tackled and scared the bejeezus out of me.

"That was not cool. You scared the hell out of me!" I told him though I wasn't really mad. To show him that I was just messing with him, I reached up and twined my fingers in his hair.

"Sorry," he murmured but it was totally unconvincing. He leaned down and pressed his lips against the underside of my jaw. "Do you forgive me?"

I sighed and slid my fingers around his neck and down to his chest. I could feel his heartbeat and it made me smile that it was beating so fast. His lips moved down to my neck and I pushed him away. "No!" I lied and jumped up off the bed. I giggled as I ran out the door and climbed down the ladder, and I could hear Jace following me. I sprinted all the way to the beach and made it to the rocks before he caught me around the waist. He lifted me up and spun around so we were facing away from the water before he put me down. His arms stayed firmly around my body even as I tried to move away.

"_Please _forgive me?" he asked, a smile in his voice. I giggled again and put my hands over his, tilting my head to the side so he could kiss my neck.

"Well, since you asked so nicely." He laughed in my ear and turned me around so I was facing him. "I thought you were spending the day with Sebastian," I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. He sighed and put his hands on my waist.

"We were supposed to but he's with Kaelie." We shared a longsuffering look. I knew it hurt him that Kaelie was cheating on Sebastian with Jonathan and he couldn't do anything about it.

"I'm sorry, Jace," I murmured and he smiled, shrugging one shoulder.

"One good thing came of it," he said, leaning forward. His lips brushed mine as he spoke and I lost the ability to form a coherent sentence. "Now I'm with _you_." I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him, long and hard. His arms held me tight against his chest and he kissed me until we were both gasping for air. When he finally pulled away, he kept his forehead pressed against mine. I stared into his amazing amber eyes, feeling weak-kneed. His hard muscled arms tightened around me, and suddenly I remembered the bet we'd made. Though he was strong, I was sure I could tackle him if I caught him with his back turned.

"All right," I murmured, dropping my arms from around his neck. "You can start heading back to the village and I'll catch up. I wanted to do something really quick. I'll only be a minute." He sighed, looking sad, and I grinned. "But first . . ." I kissed him gently, teasing his lips with mine. He pulled me close, deepening the kiss, but I pulled back before I got carried away. "I'll meet you at the house in ten minutes. Promise." He nodded and kissed me once before he walked away.

It was hard, watching him leave, but I held myself back from following him. I waited until he was off the rocks and halfway to the forest before I ran at him. When I was ten feet away from him, I screamed so he would turn around before I launched myself at him. We went down, me landing on top of him so I was straddling his waist, and I fumbled to grab his wrists so I could pin them above his head. He got over his shock faster than I was hoping, and just as I got a hold of his arms, he rolled until he was hovering over me. I pushed at him but he got my hands pinned to the sand above my head in no time.

"What was that about?" he asked, his eyes amused. He smiled down at me, ignoring my struggles to free my hands.

"The bet," I replied, giving up. He was stronger than me, simple as that.

"Ah, right. Remind me what that was about?" I could tell by his voice that he was trying not to laugh and I pushed my lower lip out into a pout.

"I thought I could tackle you," I said and he laughed, leaning down. He pressed his lips between my eyebrows and I sighed; his mouth on my skin felt _good,_ like tiny electric tingles shooting through my nerve endings and making my whole body feel like a live wire. He kissed a trail from my forehead, across my temple and cheekbone and then covered my lips with his. I felt my body trying to lift off the sand to get closer to him, even as he pressed me down into the ground. He let go of one of my wrists and reached his arm around me so he could flatten his hand against my lower back. I put my free hand on his chest and pushed him, bucking my body so he fell off me. I rolled on top of him and got his wrists above his head before he could react this time. "Ha, got you," I said, smiling smugly.

Without a word, he lifted his head and caught my mouth with his, very effectively cutting off my boasting. He easily twisted his wrists out of my hands and wrapped them around my back, pulling me down hard against him. I lost control of my body as my hands found their way under his shirt and my tongue tangled with his. I traced his abs and chest with my fingers, loving the way the hardness of his muscles felt under my fingertips. He pulled his head back and groaned before he rolled so he was on top of me again. As his fingers started tracing my body, I realized it was going to go farther. Not only was I _ready, _but I _wanted _it to go farther. I was crazy about Jace and I was getting tired of saying no to him.

I moved my hands down his body and was just about to grab the waistband of his pants when he squeezed my waist. I squirmed, trying to get away as I laughed. "Ha, got you," he mocked as he tickled me.

"Please! Please stop, Jace! Please!" I gasped, completely forgetting that I had been ready to take our relationship further.

"What's in it for me?" he asked, his voice full of laughter.

"Whatever you want!" I wheezed. "Just please, stop!" He did as I asked and jumped to his feet, holding his hand down to me. I wrapped my fingers around his and let him pull me to my feet. "Not nice, Jace. You're just mad because I tackled you." He grinned and shrugged.

"I guess you win the bet, then," he said and I nodded. "What do you want your prize to be?" I thought about it for a few seconds and smiled.

"I want . . . a million dollars and a lifetime supply of cookie dough," I told him. He laughed. I stepped closer and shook my head. "Or maybe I just want a kiss," I said in a French accent. He raised his eyebrow and I giggled. "My parents used to read me stories when I was little and they'd use accents. I picked it up," I explained.

"Do another one," he said. "It's pretty hot." I laughed again and put my arms around his neck, staring into his awesome eyes. His arms wound around my waist and he smiled as I took on a Southern Belle accent.

"Well, I do declare that that's just the sweetest darn thing I've ever heard. And it's ever so kind of you to think so," I murmured, batting my eyelashes standing on my toes so I could brush his lips with mine. He kissed me back, and I knew I'd never get over how his lips felt and tasted. It was too good.

"Want to head back for dinner?" he asked against my mouth and I shook my head. I still wanted to feel his skin against mine, to taste him and touch him and explore in a way that I hadn't with anyone ever before. "Want me to go get dinner and bring it back so we can eat on the beach?" I nodded and he grinned before he kissed me passionately again. I sighed as he let me go too soon and moved away. "I'll be back."

"Hurry," I told him and he turned and ran the rest of the way off the beach. I watched him until he disappeared into the forest, before I turned to look over the ocean.

I felt a hand on my shoulder only a minute later. That wasn't possible, since it took five minutes to get back to the village. I stiffened under the hand and turned around just in time to jump back as Jonathan lowered his mouth to mine. He got my jaw instead, and I stepped back further and glared at him. "What the hell do I have to do to make you leave me alone?!" I yelled at him. He grinned, still infuriatingly cocky. "Do I have to slap you again?" His eyes flashed with the reminder but he smiled wider and stepped towards me again. I backed away from him, keeping my guard up.

"I bet I could get you to change your mind," he said matter-of-factly. His arm moved out from his side so fast I didn't see it before his fingers snaked around my wrist. He held me tightly, ignoring my struggles to get away.

"I'm with Jace, Jonathan." I hated the way fear made my voice crack and vision blur, because I knew that meant he could see that I was scared. And I knew he would take advantage of his upper hand over me.

"Oh, he's easily dealt with," he replied. I blanched at the clear threat in his voice, my whole body going rigid. Would he hurt Jace because of me? He grinned again and pulled me towards him. I was too shocked and scared to resist. "And I have help with him. Kaelie can do things with her body that will make him forget you in minutes." The jealousy that coursed through me was weird, since I knew he was just trying to get to me. But the anger and adrenaline that came with it make me forget my fear, and I started struggling again.

"Kaelie has you eating out of the palm of her hand!" I said through gritted teeth. He was holding my wrist so tight that he was cutting off my circulation, and every time I tried to move his skin chafed against mine. "Why the hell do you need me?!"

"Because you're hotter than Kaelie. And she's always talking about that asshole Jace, which is getting on my nerves." I stopped struggling for a minute, staring at him. A plan was slowly forming in my head that would probably piss him off enough to make him let me go, but I also knew there was a chance he would hurt me really bad. Actually, I knew he _would _hurt me. But I wouldn't go along with the sick games he was trying to play. And I'd rather he hurt me than Sebastian anymore, or God forbid, Jace.

"Who can blame her for talking about him?" I asked. "He's super hot. And he's an amazing kisser. And the things he can do with his hands . . ." I pretended to shudder since I actually didn't have that much experience with what he could do with his hands. Yet. "He's just better than you, Jonathan. So, I understand why Kaelie talks about him when she's with you." I looked him up and down, letting my disgust with him show in my eyes. His eyes were pure fire and he was squeezing my wrist tighter than ever. Pain shot through my arm and continued throbbing, and I wouldn't have been surprised if he'd broken it. I bit back a pained cry and held in the tears.

"He's a better kisser than me, huh?" he asked. I didn't even get a chance to nod my head before he wrapped his fingers around my arm and pulled me towards him. "We'll see," he said, just as he slammed his mouth down on mine so hard that it hurt my jaw. I pulled back as hard as I could but he didn't let me go and his grip didn't loosen. After a few minutes of useless struggling and Jonathan kissing me, he finally pulled back and grinned down at me. "Ah, young love," he murmured and my whole body went rigid again.

"Love?" I asked, my voice a squeak. I knew I must have heard him wrong.

"Yeah, you heard me. I love you." I was still way too shocked to even fight when he kissed me again, but I didn't kiss him back. Instead, I focused on the pain in my wrist to try to bring me back to a world that made sense. After a few minutes, I finally got back the use of my limbs and tried fighting him again, but it was to no avail. He shoved his tongue in my mouth, and I did the only thing I could think of to do. I bit his tongue until I tasted his blood in my mouth.

That's when he pulled his arm back and hit me.

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**Uh oh. I think that's a cockblock and a cliffie in one chapter, is it not? Sorry! :D but hey, it makes for an interesting chapter, right? Haha.**

**So, I understand some people are wondering what Jonathan's problem is, if some of the reviews are any indication. Jace didn't do anything to provoke him or piss him off, I promise. There's no backstory behind it really. Jonathan, in my brain, is a sociopath. He's the crazy person on the island, and he has his sights set on Clary. So when she doesn't want him, he doesn't like it. He won't take no for an answer -obviously. So like I said, no backstory or previous drama or anything. Just a crazy guy wanting Jace's girl. **

**So here's chapter thirty-one! Only about nine more to go! :) Read and review, because reviews are the peanut butter to my jelly. Thanks for reading!**


	32. Shocked and Ticked Off

_**{Jace POV}**_

I couldn't get Clary out of my head. I wanted her so bad, in ways that I didn't think she was ready for. But I wasn't going to push her into something that might make her mad or hurt her. That might lead to losing her, which wasn't something I was willing to risk. I liked her too much.

I walked back to the beach quickly, carrying two plates of food in my hands. Impatience was getting the better of me, and I was all but running to get back to Clary. I stepped on to the beach and my eyes immediately scanned for the place where I'd left her, eager to see her smile again. She was there, but she wasn't alone.

Jonathan was with her, his head bent down to hers, and I could see that she wasn't struggling or trying to get away. I stared, feeling like I was dying from the pain in my chest. I didn't know why I couldn't look away. After a while, I saw Clary's body start moving, but I couldn't figure out if it was because she was trying to get closer to him or push him away. My hands tightened on the plates I was holding and I moved backwards, preparing to walk away. Before I could turn completely, I saw Jonathan's hand lift from his side and pull back, before it swung forward and hit Clary in the face with enough force to make her fly backwards a couple inches before dropping to the ground.

I didn't even think. I threw the food away from me and sprinted towards him, my teeth gritted against the hatred burning through me. When he was within an arm's length, I pulled my arm back and snapped it forward again, punching him so hard and fast he didn't have time to react. His head whipped to the side, but I didn't give him a chance to figure out what was going on. I hit him again, this time in the stomach, and he doubled over. When I prepared myself to punch him again, I heard Clary moan behind me. I spun around and dropped immediately to my knees next to her, pushing aside thoughts of the pain in my knuckles.

"Clary? Oh God, Clary? Are you okay? Talk to me," I said, my stomach clenching in rage. She had a huge mark on her cheek, turning black and blue already, and her eye was already swelling. "Clary?!"

"Jace," she groaned, her hand reaching out. I moved to grab it, but before I could, an arm wrapped around my neck and lifted me to my feet. Jonathan tightened his hold on me, ignoring my attempts to break free or hit him.

"You always show up where you're not wanted," he growled at me. He turned his head and spit blood into the sand, and I felt an odd sense of pleasure knowing that I hurt him. "Looks like I'm going to have to teach you a lesson." His hard forearm pressed harder into my throat, effectively cutting off my air. I choked and struggled against him.

"Let him go!" My attention had been on Jonathan and his arm around my neck, and I hadn't even noticed Clary crawl around him. I felt the impact as she launched herself onto Jonathan's back. His arm loosened enough for me to elbow him in the stomach and pull away, and I spun around. Clary was hanging onto his shoulders for dear life, her arms locked around his neck as he tried to shake her off.

"That's my girl," I said, and her eyes met mine as I moved closer to distract Jonathan. I punched him in the stomach again as she slid off his back. "If you ever touch Clary again . . ." I growled, hitting him a fourth time.

He caught my next punch and twisted my arm, pulling me towards him so I could hear his low growl. "When Clary leaves you for me, are you going to cry like a little bitch like you did when your dad left?" I spun around, my fist connecting with his face, and I felt his nose break under my knuckles. Before I could hit him again and again to pound the lesson I was trying to teach him into his thick skull like I wanted to, arms wrapped around me and pulled me back. My vision turned red as I fought to break away and move towards Jonathan, incoherent growls and snarls bursting from my mouth, but then whoever was holding on to me spoke.

"Jace! Relax, man!" Sebastian said, keeping his hold on me firm. I kept my eyes on Jonathan, who was on his knees in front of me, pinching the bridge of his nose to stop the bleeding. It didn't look like it was working. "Clary needs you," Sebastian added, his voice quieter and right in my ear. That was probably the only thing he could have said that would get through to me, and he knew it. The anger immediately drained out of my system and I stopped fighting, my eyes searching for Clary. She was staring at Jonathan, her face twisted in fear and shock. I took a step towards her, and her eyes flashed up to meet mine. Her face crumpled in pain and then she collapsed, just like she had in the woods.

"Damn it," I said, ripping myself away from Sebastian. I sprinted to Clary and dropped down next to her again. "Clary! Clary, Clary, Clary. Come on, baby," I whispered, cupping her face in my hands. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her forehead.

"Get her to your mom," I heard from behind me. "I got Jonathan." Without another word, I scooped her into my arms and sprinted home. Since I knew what was wrong, I wasn't as worried as I had been when she'd cut her foot, but my stomach was still twisting in anxiety. She could have a concussion or something. I picked up the pace until I reached the ladder.

"Mom!" I shouted, gently shifting Clary over my shoulder so I could climb up to the house. "Mom! I need help! Clary-." Before I could get another word out, my mom appeared around the side of the house and led me into Clary's room, where I gently laid her down. My mom pushed me out of the way and started examining Clary, her fingers buried in her hair so she could prod her skull. I paced back and forth from one end of the room to the other, but I kept my eyes on them at all times.

Guilt was welling up in my chest. I'd promised myself and Clary that I wouldn't let anything happen to her ever again. And just because I'd been caught up in how her body felt against mine and how she tasted so sweet and smelled so good while we were on the beach, I'd left her alone. Not for long, but still long enough for Jonathan to hurt her. Thinking about him had me clenching my hands into fists, tight enough to hurt my knuckles from when I'd hit him before. But I still wanted to hit him again. And again. Until he begged me to stop and promised that he would never lay a hand on _my _Clary again.

"Jonathan." My mom spoke quietly but I could hear the relief in her voice and see it in her eyes when she turned to look at me. "Jonathan," she said again. "She's fine. No concussion, and it's just a bruise on her face. It'll go away in about a week." I stepped towards the bed and then collapsed to my knees, grabbing Clary's hand in between mine. I held it to my cheek and took a deep breath.

"Why did she pass out?" I asked. I felt my mom's hand on my shoulder and I stood up to face her.

"Fear, pain, anxiety. Exhaustion. There are plenty of possible reasons, Jonathan. But we won't know until she wakes up and tells you." Again I could see the relief in her eyes, and I stepped forward to wrap my arms around her. She hugged me back and I buried my face in her shoulder like I used to when I was a kid, though it was a little harder than it used to be since I was so much taller now.

"Thank you, mom. Thank you." Her arms tightened around me for a second before she pulled back and took my face between her hands.

"Jonathan, what happened? Why is Clary hurt?" I sighed and told her the story from the beginning, when Clary had told me how much Jonathan scared her. When I got to the part where I saw Jonathan hit her, my hands clenched into fists again and I gritted my teeth. My mom sucked in a shocked gasp but didn't interrupt as I finished the story. "Stay with Clary," she said when I was done. There was clear determination in her eyes, and her voice was like steel. "Talk to her until she wakes up. I'm going to go talk to Robert. We won't let Jonathan ever hurt Clary again." Despite the anger I could see in her gaze, I could hear the worry in her voice and see it in the way she wrung her hands together in front of her. She cared for Clary almost as much as I did.

"Thank you, mom," I said again, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. She patted my face gently once before she turned and disappeared through the door. I spun around and kneeled next to the bed again. I brushed Clary's hair off her face and pressed my lips against hers once before I pulled back again. "Clary," I murmured, tracing the curve of her lips with my finger. I loved those lips, and I knew every line of them with both my fingers and my own mouth.

"Clary, I need you to wa-." My sentence cut off when Clary's lips puckered under my hand, and she gently kissed my finger. I sucked in a breath and cupped her cheek in my palm. "Clary!" I said, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Jace, why does my face hurt?" she asked without opening her eyes. I leaned forward and gently kissed the bruise on her cheek, and then slid my mouth up to kiss her swollen eye.

"Are you okay?" I pulled back a couple inches to look at her, surprised to see she was smiling.

"You missed," she told me. Before I had the chance to wonder what she meant, her hands caught the front of my shirt and pulled me down. I felt her chin lift, her neck arcing off the pillow under her head, and then her lips were on mine. I kissed her hard, pulling her against me for a moment, before I pulled back. She smiled again. "Much better." I laughed and kissed her forehead before I stood up.

"Are you going to be okay here?" I asked. "I'm going to go see if my mom needs help with Jonathan." Clary sat up so fast that her face turned beat red with blood. I stepped forward to make sure she was okay when she swayed back and forth dizzily.

"Jonathan?" she said quietly. I nodded and sat on the bed next to her, taking her hand in mine.

"It's okay, Clary. I won't let him hurt you again. You're safe," I told her. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"If you're going to see him, I'm going with." I opened my mouth to protest but she cut me off. She turned her head to look at me and I noticed the swelling around her eye hadn't gone down. It was actually worse than it had been earlier. "No, Jace, I need to do this. Do you trust me?" I nodded. "Then I'm coming with." I sighed and gently pulled her off the bed with me.

"All right, come on then." I led Clary down the ladder and to the fire pit, where we usually held the 'village meetings'. I saw my mom first, leaning over Jonathan, who was sitting in a chair with his head tilted back. Dried blood caked his chin from his broken nose, and I felt a small stab of guilt; I hadn't meant to permanently injure him. I'd just wanted him to leave Clary alone. In a small circle around them stood everyone in the village over the age of twenty-five, which made Clary, Jonathan and I the youngest around.

"Jace, Clarissa," my mom said as we joined her. She took Clary's hand in hers and pulled her away from the group, waving me off when I moved to follow. Since I couldn't stay with Clary, I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at Jonathan as his eyes followed every step she took.

After an immeasurable moment, my mom walked back to the group with her hands clasped in front of her. Her expression was angry, and I could see the reluctance in her eyes when she opened her mouth to speak.

"I spoke to Clarissa. Since she was the one involved, I asked her what she thinks we should do," my mom said. I looked at Clary, who was still standing where my mom left her, staring at her feet. "Jonathan, what you did was despicable." My eyes were drawn back to my mom when she paused. I saw her jaw clench and I suddenly feared what she was going to say. How would Clary want Jonathan to be punished? She was from the city, where I imagined they'd had more situations like this than I could even think of. And worse. What would she come up with to deal with it?

"What are we going to do?" Robert asked. He was glaring at Jonathan, his hands clenched into fists by his sides. I felt a sudden swell of pride for the people that lived on the island with me. Although Clary was an outsider, they believed her about Jonathan, who'd lived on the island his whole life. Even his mother was looking at him with disappointment.

My mom sighed, and her next words made my jaw drop open as I whirled to stare at Clary. "Clarissa's decided that she doesn't want Jonathan to be punished for his actions."

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**Um, yeah . . . I'm a bitch for that, aren't I? Sorry -but not really! ;D **

**I hoped you all liked badass Jace. And don't worry, Clary's decision will be explained thoroughly next chapter in her point of view! **

**So . . . WOW . . . I am completely speechless. I've seen a bunch of amazing stories that have author's notes about being nominated or winning awards on here since I started reading, and I always thought that was so amazing. To be recognized like that for a story would just be absolutely unreal. But honestly, I never in a million years would have believed I'd be nominated for one, especially on my first story. But I have! Someone nominated me for _"Most promising Mortal Instruments FanFiction"_. Voting started yesterday and is running until the 20th of November, if anyone's interested in voting. I'm absolutely thrilled to even be nominated. It's just a huge honor, and I'm glad someone liked my story enough to nominate it. Every reader of this story is so amazing, and the reason I'm still writing it. I love you guys, and whether you vote for my story or not, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you, one million times thank you. I can't begin to explain how much that means to me. **

**Anyway, here's chapter thirty-two. Hope you enjoyed it :D Read and review, because reviews are the ryhmes to my poetry. And don't forget to vote, even if it's not for my story. :) **

**See you next week, same day, same time! :D**


	33. My Decision

_**{Clary POV}**_

I could feel everyone's eyes on me after Celine told them what I'd said to her, but I couldn't look up. I knew what everyone's reactions would be, but I was going to stand by my decision to let Jonathan off without a punishment. He'd been living on this entire island all his life, and if I never showed up here, nothing like this would have happened. Yes, he was an asshole and yes, I was still scared as hell he'd come after me again. But I couldn't stand by while he got punished on my behalf . . . especially after what he'd said on the beach.

Everyone except for Jonathan and Jace spoke up, disagreeing with me. They all thought that Jonathan should be punished in some way because of what he did. But Celine knew how I felt, and even though she didn't fully agree, she stood up for me. She waited for everyone to quiet down before she spoke again. "Nothing like this has ever happened on this island, so we don't know how to handle it. I know it's hard to believe that one of our own could do something like this. But it's ultimately Clarissa's decision. She's the one who Jonathan wronged and assaulted, so she is the one who gets to decide how the situation is handled. And we won't go against her choice." Her voice was strong and authoritative, assuring no one would dare go against her. The crowd split up, everyone going to their separate houses with grumbled replies and angry chatting. They still didn't like it, but Celine was important to the village, and I was confident they would do what she said. Everyone respected her, probably almost as much as I did.

Someone stepped in front of me, and I peeked through my lashes to see Celine looking at me with tired eyes, and Jace standing behind her. I didn't allow myself to look at Jace long enough to see his expression. I was too much of a coward. "Thank you, Celine," I said, my voice cracking. I looked at her and tried to show her what her trust meant to me. "I know you disagree with my decision, but I appreciate you accepting it. It means alot that you trust me."

"I'm sure you have your reasons for choosing this way, Clarissa. And I will do everything I can to make sure your wishes are respected." I thanked her again and wrapped my arms around her waist for a hug, still refusing to look at Jace. When I pulled back again, I faked a yawn and stretched my arms above my head.

"Well, I'm pretty tired. I'm going to go to sleep. Good night." I turned and ran back to the house and threw myself up the ladder as fast as I could. I knew Jace would follow me, but I was hoping he'd leave me alone if I was in bed by the time he reached me.

No such luck.

"_What the hell, Clary?"_ he asked, enunciating each word so they sounded like four separate sentences. I groaned and pulled the blanket over my head, rolling to my side so my back was to him. I could hear his footsteps as he walked towards the bed.

"Please, Jace, I have a headache and I really just want to go to sleep," I begged, trying to guilt trip him. When he paused, I held my breath, hoping he'd leave it alone at least for the night. But again, I'm never that lucky.

"No," he said finally. "You're going to talk to me. You're going to tell me what the hell you think you're doing." His tone was angry and disproving, and it actually pissed me off a little. I threw the blanket off of me and stood up to face him.

"I did what was right, Jace. It was my decision to make. I made it. It's over. Leave it alone." I crossed my arms and stared at his chest, afraid that looking at his face would make me burst into tears. I didn't want to see him angry, not at me.

"Right? _Right?!_" he said. "What you decided wasn't _right. _It was _stupid. _How could you just let him get away with what he did?!" I gritted my teeth and finally met his eyes. My anger was fueled by exhaustion, fear and pain, so I was almost positive nothing Jace said could change my mind.

"Don't pull a high-and-mighty on me, Jace. You've never been in a situation like this, so don't pretend you know what's going on. I know what I'm doing." I could see his hands clenched into fists by his sides, and I was right about him being angry. His golden eyes, the ones I knew better than anything else on this island, were filled with fire.

"He _hit _you, Clary!" he shouted at me. "I saw him _punch_ you in the _face_! Your eye is swollen shut and you _passed out. _He deserves to be punished somehow!" I glared at him and took a step forward, so we were only about two feet away from each other. His gasping breath stirred the hair that had escaped from my ponytail to hang around my face.

"I think the _broken nose _you gave him is punishment enough," I growled. He stared back at me, his expression suddenly disbelieving.

"What the hell, Clary?" he said again. "He's scared you since the first time you met him. Remember that? How you started crying the day after because you were afraid he was going to hurt you? Now he has. _He hurt you._ How could you just sit there and do nothing?! How could you defend him?" I turned away from him and stared at the wall, my shoulders hunching forward. It was the only source of protection I could think of from Jace's disappointment in me.

"I know what I'm doing. Nothing you say will change anything, Jace. It's not any of your business anyway." I kept my voice low so he couldn't hear the fear or the pain. I was still scared Jonathan was going to hurt me, but I couldn't let him get punished for something that was ultimately my fault.

"Not my business?" Jace repeated, his voice laced with incredulity. His hands suddenly gripped my shoulders and spun me towards him, pulling me close so he could stare right into my eyes. His smell invaded my senses, and I fought the urge to lean into him and let him hold me. "Clary, do you have any idea how scared I was when I saw him hit you? How angry? Do you have any idea at all how much you mean to me?!" My heart stuttered in my chest and picked up in double time, but I couldn't show it. Instead, I pushed him away. It seemed that was becoming one of my talents.

"Let go of me, Jace. It doesn't matter. None of it matters! This has nothing to do with you. I don't need you protecting me all the time! You're not my father, so stop acting like it." He stepped back and narrowed his eyes at me.

"What the hell happened to you? I used to think you were the strongest person I knew. The way you dealt with coming here and with Kaelie and Jonathan . . . But now you're acting like a coward. What? Do you think Jonathan will leave you alone if you let him off the hook? Well, guess what, sweetheart," he hissed at me. "You're wrong. You're just showing him that he can do whatever the hell he wants to you and you won't do a thing to stop him. You're obviously not as strong as I thought you were." My head started pounding, and suddenly there was a pain in my chest that hadn't been there before.

"You have no idea what you're talking about, Jace!" I said. I clenched my hands so hard that I could feel my nails digging into my palms. The sting of pain did nothing to loosen them. "You don't even know _why _I did what I did! You don't know what happened! You say you saw him hit me?! Well, you didn't hear what he said or what I said! You _weren't there!" _Jace's eyes had gone blank. He was hiding behind the mask I'd seen so many times, the one he hadn't used since we started getting really close. Instead of pissing me off like it used to, it hurt. Oh God, did it hurt.

"I can't believe you," he said in a monotone. "You're letting your fear of him stop you from thinking rationally. You really are a coward." I looked at him as tears pricked my eyes. I had a feeling he wasn't really trying to figure out why I'd done what I did anymore. Now he was just trying to hurt me. And I knew he could, so easily. "Why are you still here, anyway? Did you even try to get home at all? Or are you too afraid that everyone will have forgotten you? That everyone has moved on? I bet they have, Clary. I mean, you're fun to have around for a while, but once something gets too scary, you run. Maybe they thought you ran away because you were too scared to follow your dreams, too afraid you'd fail." I felt like he slapped me. All I wanted to do was curl up in a corner and cry, put my hands over my ears and scream at the top of my lungs so I couldn't hear him anymore. But I couldn't ignore what he was saying. Though I knew what he was trying to do, that he was trying to hurt me to cover up his own emotions and that he probably didn't mean a word of what was coming out of his own mouth, pain still shot through my chest like a lightning bolt.

"And you know what? Do what you want. I never actually cared about you. How could I? There's nothing _special _about you. The only reason I even talk to you is because my mom makes me. And the first day you were here, before you even woke up, Sebastian bet me I couldn't get you to sleep with me. I wouldn't even bother if it weren't for that. But you're too scared to even do _that-_." My hand whipped across his cheek before I could even think to stop myself, leaving my fingertips stinging. He stared at me, blinking like he was waking up after a confusing dream. He opened his mouth like he was going to say something, closed it, and then opened it again, over and over. If pain wasn't ripping me apart from the inside out, I might have laughed at his similarity to a fish.

"Get out," I whispered, cradling my hand to my chest. The pads of my fingers felt like they were on fire.

"Oh, Clary, I-," he said but I cut him off.

"Get out!" I screamed at him. "Get out, get out, get out!" I pushed his chest as hard as I could. Even though he'd proved he was stronger than me, he stumbled back towards the door, seemingly too surprised to fight back. I wondered what surprised him more: what he'd said, or my own ferocious anger. "Go!" I shouted, pushing him again. He took another step back, and I shoved him again and again until he was out of the door. "It's over! Leave me alone!"

He blinked at me as I turned back into the room, but I realized I couldn't keep him out. There was no door, just a thin white cloth covering the doorway that I always tied off to the side to let in cool air. When I realized I couldn't guarantee that I would be alone, I spun on my heel and climbed down the ladder before I sprinted into the forest. I didn't know where I was going, and I was heading away from the beach, but I couldn't stop to figure it out. Jace was already running after me, calling my name and begging me to stop. I could hear him swearing as he stumbled over roots and plants, so I pushed myself harder. When I couldn't hear him anymore, I stopped and looked around.

Finally, after a couple of seconds, I saw a tree that looked like it'd be easy to climb. I threw myself onto the first branch, ignoring the splinters that were being driven into my palms as I climbed from branch to branch until I was as high as I'd dare go. Once I settled on a branch, I tried to get my breath back, but the sobs that were ripping up my chest prevented that.

"Clary!" I heard Jace's voice getting closer, and I shoved my fist into my mouth so he wouldn't hear me. If he found me, I wouldn't be able to get away from him again. He burst into sight and skidded to a stop, looking around. I could see his shoulders heaving as he gasped for breath from running after me. "Clary!" he shouted again. He bent over and put his hands on his knees, but he kept screaming for me. "Clary, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" His eyes roamed back and forth over the trees. "Clary, please!" I choked back my sobs and clung to the trunk of the tree.

I couldn't believe it was over. The one thing that made me happier than anything else on the island was my relationship with Jace. He meant so much to me, more than I was even willing to admit to myself. But I couldn't just forget what he'd said. After that, it would never be the same. The thought of seeing him every day without being able to talk to him or touch him or kiss him was agonizing, but I had no choice.

I had nowhere else to go.

* * *

**Drama . . . where would we be without it?**

**I know this is two days late, and I'm sorry. But this past week has been _crazy. _Three consequtive over-night shifts, constant day shifts, school, homework, practice, and then Thanksgiving? I was surprised I finished this chapter on time, even though I hadn't posted it. Next week will be crazy, too, but not as bad as this week. I'll have the next chapter posted on time. I promise. Even though I have surgery scheduled on Thursday morning . . . Eep, scary. **

**Thank you for reading and reviewing and all that jazz. You're awesome, and amazing, and lovely, and super special. I love you :D**

**Anyway, drop me a review because they're the turkey to my Thanksgiving! :) See you next Wednesday with Jace's point of view. **


	34. Without Her

_**{Jace POV}**_

When Clary didn't come back to the village before dawn, I decided to go looking for her again. I was just stepping away from the fire when she walked through the trees exactly where she'd disappeared into them the night before. Her shoulders were hunched forward and she was hugging her arms to her chest. Her hair was a tangled mess on top of her head, and I could see smears of dirt on her face and grass stains on her clothes. The bruise on her face was worse than ever but I could see that the swelling of her eye had gone done to the point where she could actually open it. But her eyes were puffy for another reason; it was obvious she'd been crying.

Pain and guilt and self-loathing shot through my chest. I couldn't believe all the things I'd said to her last night. But hearing her tell me that Jonathan hurting her wasn't my business, even with the way I felt about her, had me so angry I could barely breathe. But the look on her face after I'd said those things about Sebastian, after she'd slapped me, told me I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. I'd never seen her look so heartbroken and miserable before, and knowing that I was the one who made her look like that made it so much worse.

I started towards her, but stopped when someone called her name. I turned to see Aline running towards her, her expression filled with relief. When she reached Clary, she grabbed her hands and looked into her face. As I watched, Clary said something to Aline, and then her face crumpled in pain and she started crying again. Aline pulled her into a hug for a moment before she led her towards my house, away from me. As Clary climbed the ladder first, Aline's eyes scanned the crowd before they came to rest on me. She yelled something up to Clary, who nodded and wiped her eyes as she disappeared into her room, and walked towards me.

"Jonathan-," Aline said as she reached me. I ran my hand through my hair and cut her off.

"Is she okay?" I asked. She glared at me and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, she certainly is not okay. Did that look okay to you? Would she have disappeared for so long if she was _okay_?" she asked me. I sighed and resisted the urge to go repeatedly pound my head off of something hard. Like a tree. Or a rock. "Yeah, didn't think so. Any more stupid questions?" I didn't say anything, just stared at the ground. "Whatever you said to her, Jonathan . . . it _destroyed_ her." I opened my mouth to say something but Aline shook her head. "No. You can't talk to her. Leave her alone until she's ready to talk to you."

"Can you at least tell her that I'm sorry? I didn't _mean _any of it, Aline. I swear. I was just so mad. I never meant to hurt her. You have to believe me." She sighed and nodded.

"I believe you. And I'll tell her." With that, she walked away, and I watched her until she disappeared into Clary's room. I thought about following her anyway, dropping to my knees in front of Clary and begging her to forgive me, but I figured Aline was right. Clary needed time, and I needed to give it to her. I didn't want to make it any worse by forcing my apology on her. But living without her when she was so close was going to hurt. I could already feel it.

~LOTI~

For two weeks, Clary did everything she possibly could to avoid me. She went with Aline to do chores every morning, leaving before I even woke up, and returning before I did. After chores everyday she disappeared into the forest, coming back just as dinner was being served. She ate in her room with Aline, and I imagined she'd move in with Aline if it weren't for Jonathan. The thought that she was going through so much trouble just to avoid talking to me hurt like nothing else. But I was going to give her space, even though it was the hardest thing I'd ever done. She was constantly on my mind, from the moment I woke up in the morning to the second I fell asleep. I dreamt about her almost every night, sometimes like the one I'd had about her the night she'd had her nightmare and others about her face as I told her she wasn't special. The latter felt more like nightmares.

After the first few days without Clary, hours started blending together until it felt like each day lasted an eternity. I counted seconds until I knew I'd get a glimpse of her coming through the trees or talking to my mom or Aline. She was still beautiful, but her face was always puffy and the bruise stretching across her cheek bone was starting to fade to yellow. She didn't have that light I liked so much in her eyes anymore, and I hated myself for putting it out.

Five days after she broke up with me, I was sitting on a chair by the fire, subtly watching the stretch of trees she usually came out of, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up to see Sebastian standing over me, glaring at me through narrow eyes. "Sebastian?" I said. I couldn't think of what I'd done to make him mad at me, too. "What's up?"

"Two things," he said, sitting down in a chair next to me. "First of all, did you know Kaelie was cheating on me with Jonathan?" I tried to hide my guilt behind my surprise, but I could tell he saw right through it. His mouth flattened into a small line as his eyes filled with betrayal. "Why the hell didn't you tell me? Did you think I wouldn't eventually find out? And do you have any idea how fucking humiliating it is to find out that I've been stupid enough to believe that Kaelie loved me back? I thought I could trust you, man."

"Sebastian, I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to get hurt. I wasn't thinking." He sighed and sat back in his chair.

"You still should have told me, Jace. I would have gotten over it." I nodded and apologized again, but he waved it off. "And the second thing I wanted to talk to you about is Clary. What did you say to her to make her like this? Every time I see her look at you, she starts crying. And when I tried talking to her, she just walked away, like she's pissed at _me_, too." I put my head in my hands and tried to think of the right words to explain what I'd done.

"She broke up with me," I started, turning to look at him. "Because I hurt her. When she decided that she didn't want Jonathan to get in trouble for what he did to her, I tried to find out why. I got so pissed off that she wasn't standing up for herself that I said some really stupid shit and hurt her really bad. Now she won't even look my way." He narrowed his eyes at me again.

"What did you say? And what does it have to do with me?" I looked away from him as I told him what I'd said, first about her family forgetting her and then about him. "What the fuck, Jace!" he exclaimed, his hands clenching into fists. "It wasn't a bet! I was trying to be funny! I didn't mean for you to actually try to sleep with her! And besides, it was before either of us knew her. Why the hell would you say something like that?"

"I was pissed off and hurt, Sebastian. When I said it, all I wanted was for her to be hurt, too. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I wished I could have taken them back. But she slapped me and told me it was over. And she won't let me near her to explain and tell her how sorry I am."

"You're an idiot, Jace. A stupid, fucking idiot. You better fix it. Clary's a great girl, and if you don't make it better, I'll kick your ass. I mean it." With that, he stood up and walked away, showing me how completely serious he was about what he'd just said. I sat back in my chair and looked up at the sky. I already knew I had to fix it, and I was going to do everything in my power to do so. But I wouldn't risk making it worse by talking to her before she was ready.

The feeling of someone's eyes on me had me lowering my gaze back to the forest. Clary was standing right by the trees, staring at me, her hand brought up to her mouth so she could chew on one of her finger nails. Even though we were far away, I could see her emerald green eyes filling with tears. When I stood up to go to her, she shook her head and sprinted to the house without looking back at me. And my heart broke again.

~LOTI~

Eight days later, I was lying on the floor of my mom's room, staring at the ceiling and thinking about Clary again. When I closed my eyes, I could imagine everything about her that I missed; her green eyes shining as I leaned in to kiss her; the sweet taste of her lips as I traced them with my tongue; her laugh as I tickled her; the sound of my name as she huskily whispered it in my ear; the smell of her hair when I buried my face in it; the feeling of her body against mine; the softness of her skin as I traced it with my fingertips; the way her lips pulled into a lopsided smile that took my breath away. I wanted so badly to go into her room and wrap my arms around her and kiss her until we both forgot our names and everything that I'd said. I wanted to always have the taste of her on my tongue and to see her smiling at me like she used to.

I was finally falling asleep when I heard a sound I'd only heard a couple times before: a whimper. As soon as I remembered where I'd last heard it, I was on my feet and sprinting around the side of the house. I burst into Clary's room and kneeled next to her bed so I could take her hand in mine. She whimpered again, her hand tightening as I threaded our fingers together. "No, put me down!" she said. "Don't touch me! Not again!" I brushed the hair out of her face and cupped her cheek in my palm.

"Clary! Wake up!" I said, tracing her lips with my thumb. "Come on, Clary. Look at me." I shook her shoulder gently until her eyelids started fluttering open. I wanted to see those eyes up close so bad that I couldn't help but lean over her. "It's okay. It was just a dream," I said. She blinked at me, her eyes filling with tears, and she didn't resist as I wrapped my arms around her. I sat on the bed and pulled her into my lap, rocking her back and forward gently.

"Jace." Her voice was so low that I wouldn't have heard it if she hadn't practically whispered it in my ear. I could feel the tears dripping off her face and onto my shoulder, and I tightened my hold on her.

"It's okay, Clary. I'm here. It was only a dream," I murmured. I felt her hands on my arms, her fingertips tracing from the crease of my elbow to my wrist, back and forth. I shivered with the pleasure that simple touch brought me. "Are you okay?" I asked, burying my face in her hair.

"I am now," she replied and I tightened my arms around her again. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest it felt like it was about to burst. I couldn't stop myself from lowering my head so I could press my lips against her shoulder. She stiffened, and then her body melted in my arms. I trailed kisses up her neck and gently pressed my lips against the hollow behind her ear. I heard her sigh, and then her body stiffened again. She pulled back and looked at me, and I could see the indecision in her eyes. "No, Jace," she whispered. "I'm not ready for that. Can you just . . . can you just be here with me for a little bit? Please?" I nodded and pulled her close again. She laid her head on my shoulder, and I could feel her even breathing against my neck. For the first time since before I saw Jonathan kissing her, I was happy again. Because she was finally back in my arms, where she belonged.

"Was it the same nightmare as last time?" I asked after a few minutes in a comfortable silence. She nodded against my shoulder and her hair tickled my neck. "Do you want to talk about it?" Her fingertips, which hadn't stopped tracing random patterns on my forearm, stilled. "If not, that's okay. I won't ask again." I felt her sigh and then she started talking.

"In the dream, I'm on a big boat like the one from the cruise. I'm leaning over the railing to look down into the water, searching for something. I don't know what but I know it hurts when I can't find it. It feels like a part of me is missing, you know? And then someone comes up behind me and taps me on my shoulder. When I turn around and see them, I don't recognize who he is. I can't see his face because it's all in shadow even though the deck of the boat is really bright, bright enough to hurt my eyes. But even though I don't know him, I get so scared that I can't even breathe. I try to scream but the sound gets caught in my throat and all I can do is cry as he steps closer and closer until finally I realize who it is." She paused, and I gently rubbed her back with my hands.

"Who is it, Clary?" I asked softly. I rubbed her back gently with my hands.

"Jonathan." Her voice is no louder than a whisper but the name still fills me with anger. He's to blame for Clary and I ever fighting in the first place, and ultimately responsible for her breaking up with me and making my life completely miserable for almost two weeks. When I don't respond, Clary keeps talking. "I'm finally able to scream but before I can, Jonathan puts his hand over my mouth and squeezes so tight I can't move. It hurts so bad and he pulls me closer and whispers something in my ear . . ." She trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"What did he say?" I wondered. She didn't answer for an immeasurable moment, and I was about to ask again when she finally said,

"He loves me."

* * *

**Did anyone forget about her nightmare? Ready to find out what it was about? :)**

**Well, I have my surgery tomorrow. And the bad news is, I don't know what kind of pain meds they're going to give me for it. This means that I don't know how loopy I'll be for how long, which in turn means it might take me a little while to get writing the next chapter. So, if it's not up by next Wednesday, you have my sincerest apologies, but you know why. Sorry in advance if I don't have it up :D **

**Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! I see a _lot _of people were very upset that Clary and Jace broke up. Sorry about that ;) I hope you'll read on to find out if they get back together or not. Or maybe Clary's problems with pushing people away and Jace's temper and big mouth ruined what they had forever. I don't know, so don't ask me ;D **

**Anyway, read and review and all that funky stuff, because reviews are the medications to my pain :D it'd make me super happy to come back around after my surgery and find a bunch of reviews waiting for me! ... not that I'm trying to guilt trip anyone, or anything. You know how it is ;) **

**Goodnight, R&R, and have a wonderful week. **


	35. Giving Up The Fight

_**{Clary POV}**_

Jace's body froze under mine, and I started worrying that he'd pull away. The past two weeks I'd done everything in my power to not have to see or talk to him at all, because I knew that as soon as I did, I'd forget everything he said and be in his arms again. And I wanted that _so bad. _I wanted things to go back to the way they were before, when my day didn't start until I kissed him. I wanted to go back to the time when the last memory I went to sleep with was the feeling of his arms wrapped around me, his lips on mine, his hands in my hair or on my back or tracing my face. I wanted him more than ever before. But I couldn't just forget the awful things he'd said with the distinct purpose of hurting me.

And when I had the nightmare again -the one that I'd only had once before, the one that had I'd been embarrassed to cry about in front of him- I couldn't refuse the comfort. I'd wanted to tell him to get out of my room, that I was fine and didn't need him, that I didn't need anybody. But as soon as his arms wrapped around me I couldn't pull away. Every muscle in my body relaxed into his familiar embrace and I no longer had control. I found myself praying he'd hold me tighter, and every time he did, I wanted him to hold me tighter still. It felt like there was too much space between us and I wanted nothing more than to give in and close the distance.

Then his lips had pressed against my shoulder and everything came rushing back. All the times he'd kissed me and held me and touched me flickered through my head like the scenes of a movie. And I wanted more, so much more. I could feel his mouth tracing the line of my shoulder, up my neck, and to the sensitive spot right below my ear. It felt so good I practically swooned. But I forced myself to pull away. I didn't forgive him yet, and the last thing I wanted was to lead him on and let him believe everything was okay again, because it wasn't. And it wouldn't be, at least not for awhile.

After a few long moments, Jace finally cleared his throat, bringing me out of my thoughts and back to the present. "And then what happened?" he asked hoarsely. I'd known telling him what Jonathan had whispered to me in my dream would upset him, but I couldn't bring myself to lie. I wondered how he'd react if I told him that Jonathan _had_ actually told me he loved me, just before he hit me.

"When I tell him that I don't love him, that I will never love him, he gets angry. I try to run away but he grabs me from behind and lifts me into his arms. I'm screaming and crying and begging him to let me go, but he just laughs and carries me to the edge of the boat. When we reach the railing surrounding the ship's deck, he pulls back and looks at me. And it's still Jonathan there, but his eyes are different. Instead of light brown like Jonathan's, they're dark brown, so dark they look like they're all pupil. And as he stares at me, I remember where I'd seen eyes like that." Jace raised his eyebrow at me as his hands rubbed slow, comforting circles into my back. "The guy on the cruise, the one who said he wouldn't tell my parents where I was because he didn't want to get fired, had eyes like that," I whispered, the words catching in my throat.

Jace pulled me close and tightened his arms around me again, and I held back a sigh. I was happy in his arms. While I was avoiding him, I'd started remembering how much I didn't fit in on the island. But with Jace's arms around me, his hand stroking me hair and his breath in my ear, I finally felt like I belonged again. Because that was where I belonged: wherever he was, as close to him as I could physically be. "Go on," he murmured, and I took a deep breath.

"Well, Jonathan holds onto my arms and I can't get away no matter how hard I struggle. He tells me that he loves me again but I ignore him and keep screaming for him to let me go. He gets angry and lifts me up into his arms, and dangles me over the water. And I'm begging him not to drop me, screaming 'please, not again, not again.' But Jonathan just laughs and lets go. As I fall towards the water, I look up to see my parents and all my friends and you and Celine and Sebastian and Aline all leaning over the railing, watching me. And as soon as I hit the water, I wake up."

"Oh God, Clary, I'm so sorry," Jace said, hugging me tight. I relaxed in his arms as he started talking, telling me that it was only a dream and he wouldn't let Jonathan hurt me ever again, and that I was safe. But I barely heard the words because I was just listening to the tenor of his voice. The sound of it washed over me, comforting me more than I ever imagined. After about five minutes, he fell silent and just held me to his chest. It took me barely any time at all to fall asleep in his arms. And I slept dreamlessly for the rest of the night.

~LOTI~

The next day, I woke up still wrapped in Jace's embrace. His breathing was deep and even, so I knew he was still asleep, and I decided to take advantage of the time with him before I had to tell him things still weren't okay between us. I opened my eyes and stared at him, studying every inch of his face carefully. There were dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't been getting much sleep, and his long eyelashes brushed his cheeks. His mouth was slightly open and I longed to kiss him, to trace the valley between his lips with the tip of my tongue. I leaned closer, about to give in to the urge, when his eyelids fluttered.

I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep as Jace woke up. I could feel his eyes on me but I kept my breathing deep and even, curious to see what he'd do. He didn't move for a couple of minutes, and just as I was about to pretend to wake up, I felt him lean towards me. His warm breath washed across my face as he got closer. My body wanted me to let him kiss me, but I couldn't. Because once his lips touched mine, all bets would be off and I wouldn't be able to stop it. I'd lose control and he'd own me, once again.

I blinked my eyes slowly open and pretended to yawn, and Jace rolled off the bed, landing on the floor with a thump. "Jace?" I asked, making my voice sound sleepy.

"Clary," he replied as he stood up, his voice breathless. His hair was a mess, squished flat on the side he'd been asleep on, and his clothes were rumpled and wrinkly. He was still beautiful to me. "Um, I'm sorry. It's just you had a nightma-." I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"I remember. Please, just go." He stared at me for a second, and I could see some emotion brewing in his eyes, but he spun around and left before I could try to read it. Once he was gone, I put my head in my hands and let a few tears escape. I was still crazy about him. Completely and totally _his_. And I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't stay away from him. I jumped out of bed and ran to the doorway so I could poke my head out. Jace was just about to turn to corner to go to his room when I called his name. He turned and looked at me, and the hope in his eyes made me want to throw myself into his arms. But I didn't think I was quite ready for that just yet. I needed him to explain why he'd hurt me the way he did.

"Yeah?" he asked. I took a deep breath and looked at his shirt so I wouldn't be tempted into anything as I was talking to him. Though staring at his muscled chest wasn't helping my thought process much, either.

"We need to talk." He walked towards me and my eyes flashed up to his face just in time to see him open his mouth to say something. I shook my head quickly, pleadingly. "Please, not right now. Aline's waiting for me." He stopped moving closer and nodded, his eyes full of disappointment.

"When? When can we talk?" he asked, his voice eager. I drummed my fingers on the doorframe and thought about it.

"Um, how about we meet on the rocks after chores?" The question was barely out of my mouth before Jace was nodding his head quickly.

"Yes, that's fine. I'll meet you there." I nodded and turned back into my room, but paused when I heard Jace's voice again. "Bye, Clary," he murmured, and the way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. I hurried out of his sight before I could do something I'd regret.

~LOTI~

I'd been doing chores with Aline for two weeks, and it was a lot easier than it had ever been with Jace. Aline's job was to collect the ingredients for the homemade soap we used for bathing and washing the dishes and cleaning food. I didn't know what the ingredients were called, but it was almost like flower picking. "Aline, I need some advice," I said, stacking flowers in the basket she brought with us. She turned her full attention on me and smiled.

"Of course," she replied. I grinned back shyly. Aline was such a good friend to me. She was always making me laugh, even when I was depressed, and she was a great listener. She never complained when I was constantly whining about Jace, and I appreciated her more than I could ever tell her.

"Okay, well, I slept with Jace last night." I realized too late how that sounded, and quickly backpedaled when I saw Aline's eyes widen. "No, no, not like that. I had a nightmare and he came in my room and comforted me. Nothing happened." She nodded and I continued. "Anyway, he fell asleep in my room. And when he was leaving this morning, I realized that I still like him. _A lot. _And I told him that I wanted to talk to him at the beach after chores today." She smiled again, her gaze softening.

"That's a good idea, Clary. He's crazy about you, too. I'm glad you decided to talk it out." I sighed and started tearing a blade of grass into little pieces.

"But I don't know what I'm going to do, Aline. I don't know if I can forgive him that easily." I'd told Aline word for word everything that Jace had said to me that night, so she knew what had happened. "He really hurt me. I just . . .don't know anything anymore." Aline took my hand and I looked up at her, my eyes swimming.

"Of course you can forgive him, Clary. He told me he didn't mean it and I believe him. People say crazy things when they care about someone. And you guys make each other so happy. So I think you should give him another chance." I smiled and wiped a tear off my cheek. Hearing her say that, agreeing with what my heart was begging me to do, made the decision that much easier. If my best friend didn't think our relationship was irreparable, why should I fight it anymore?

"Thanks, Aline. I don't know what I'd do without you." I held my arms out for a hug, smiling when she stepped into them.

"Now get out of here. Go to the beach. I'll see you later." I pulled back and raised my eyebrows at her. When she smiled and nodded, I hugged her tightly again before I quickly walked back to the village, and then down to the beach. Jace wasn't there yet, so I sat on the rocks and stared out over the water, imagining what was going to happen. What was he going to say when he got here? What was _I _going to say? Would I be able to stop myself from throwing myself at him as soon as I saw him?

I was only alone for ten minutes before I felt someone's eyes on me. I heard footsteps on the rocks behind me, and then Jace's familiar. deep voice. "Mind if I join you?" I shook my head without looking away from the water, trying to gather my thoughts. He sat down next to me and waited for me to look at him before he started talking.

"Clary, you have to understand that I didn't mean _any _of the stuff I said the other day. I don't know why I said what I did. There's no excuse. But I am _so sorry _I hurt you." I looked down at my hands and picked at my cuticles. I already knew I believed him, and while I didn't completely forgive him, I was willing to give him another chance. Willing? Hell, I wanted to give him another chance just so I could talk to him and kiss him and touch him again. I missed him.

"But that's the thing, Jace. You _did _hurt me. _Really _bad," I said, just for the sake of making him sweat. He deserved it after what he'd said.

"I know, Clary. I'm so sorry. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you." He sighed, and I looked up into his amber eyes. I refused to let myself get lost in them this time, no matter how much I wanted to. At least not yet.

"It wasn't the first time," I whispered. Jace stared at me for a second before his eyes filled with understanding and shame, and he looked over the water.

"I wish I could show you how sorry I am. I wish there was some way I could prove it to you." I didn't answer, and he looked back at me. "I'm so sorry," he said again, lifting his hand from his side. He slowly reached towards my face, and I knew he was giving me time to pull away. I didn't. I didn't want to. I stared into his eyes and waited for the touch of his skin on mine, his long, rough fingers pressed against my cheek. His thumb skimmed along my cheekbone and temple, and I resisted the urge to lean my face into his hand. "I'll never hurt you again. I promise," he said.

"I know," I replied and gave in. I pressed my face closer, my eyes sliding closed and my lips pulling into a smile when his palm cupped my cheek. He whispered my name and I could feel him leaning closer, and I had absolutely no desire to pull away. Instead, I lifted my chin and waited, until his lips finally brushed across mine, so gently I could have imagined it. I reached out with both of my hands and wrapped them around the back of his neck so I could pull him down and hold him there, forcing him to kiss me properly. No way was he getting away with a small kiss like that, not after how long I'd waited for another one. His sigh brushed my face as he kissed me again, and I grinned against his mouth.

After a couple of minutes, Jace pulled away, but covered my hands with his so he could hold them to his neck. He pressed his forehead against mine and smiled. "Does this mean you forgive me?" he asked hopefully.

"You're going to have to work at it," I replied, smiling back. "But yes, I forgive you." And I did, I really did. It was inevitable.

* * *

**I know. This is three weeks late. It's been a month since my last update. I am so sorry. As someone who said from the beginning that I was going to stay on schedule and not give excuses, this is unacceptable. But I am sorry, and I do have a good reason. **

**I have two little brothers, both six -they'll be seven on January Fourth-, that I love very much. Since they were twins, they were born prematurely, and one of them still needs breathing treatments occasionally because of it. That same one got pneumonia in early December, and has been in the hospital since. It's been one of the scariest experiences of my entire life. I cannot even explain the grief and absolute misery I have been in since he got admitted. ****But he's recovering. They say he'll be able to come home this week. He's going to be fine. **

**So, this chapter may not be as well written as any of the others. And I'm sorry for that. But please, cut me some slack. Again, I'm not looking for pity reviews or anything like that. I just hope I still have some fans reading this fic despite the long wait, and that you'll forgive me. I promise not to make you wait so long again. I'm back to updating every Wednesday, just like before. **

**Sorry again, and thank you to anyone who has stuck with me. **


	36. Answers

_**{Jace POV}**_

"Yes, I forgive you." Relief blossomed through me and I couldn't stop myself from closing the distance between our lips again. I pulled her onto my lap and kissed her as passionately as I could. It felt like we were trying to make up for the two weeks we'd been apart, and I was still trying to apologize in any way I could for what I'd said. A shudder went through me when Clary gasped my name as I moved my mouth down her neck to her shoulder, focusing on the hollow at her throat and her perfect collarbones. Her fingers tangled in my hair and held my head down as I kissed her bare skin. "God, I missed you," she whispered. I tightened my arms around her and moved my lips to her ear.

"I missed you, too." She turned her head and I kissed her gently once before we were interrupted.

"I see everything is good again," Aline said, stepping onto the rocks behind us. I pulled back from Clary and buried my face in her neck, unwilling to have even an inch of space between us ever again.

"Great timing, Aline. Really great," I muttered against Clary's skin, and her answering giggle brought a smile to my face. It had been way too long since I'd heard it, or seen her smile, or held her just because I could and not because she was upset from a nightmare. And, God, I missed her more than I could ever explain. Living without her was like living without air: completely impossible.

"So, am I right? Everything's okay now, yes?" Aline asked, sitting down beside me and nudging me with her shoulder. I didn't answer, deciding to leave this one to Clary. Because I still wasn't completely sure. I knew she forgave me, for the most part. But I also knew how much I hurt her. I could see it every day in the way she walked and the puffiness of her eyes. As much as I regretted it, it had still happened, and I would understand if it took awhile for Clary to trust me again. But I was willing to work for it as long as it took, and I _would _regain her trust.

"Yeah, Aline. Everything's perfect." I felt Clary's hands run through my hair as she said it, and I tightened my arms around her again, my heart swelling in my chest. Maybe she really did forgive me. She'd said that I would have to work for it –which I was more than willing to do, forever if that was what she wanted- but she told Aline that everything was perfect. I just didn't know if it was true, or if she was saying it for my benefit.

_Please let it be true, _I begged in my head.

"I'm glad," Aline said, her tone completely serious. I lifted my head from Clary's shoulder, my curiosity piqued. There were only two times when Aline's voice ever sounded serious: when she was mad, or when she was _seriously pissed. _If her facial expression was any indication, I'd say she was just mad, but rapidly approaching going violent on one of us. "Now, I have some questions for you, Clary." I tightened my grip on her, prepared to defend her from anything Aline said.

"Yeah, Aline? What is it?" Clary asked, and I could hear the concern in her voice. She was worried. But then again, so was I.

"What in the _hell _were you thinking letting Jonathan off without any punishment?! He freaking hit you!" she yelled, gesturing to Clary's healing eye. She turned to me, her eyes wide and frightened by Aline's outburst. I shrugged at her; she was completely on her own with this one. I was still wondering the same thing.

"Um, why are you just deciding to bring this up now?" she asked, turning back to Aline with a nervous expression. I knew she was stalling, and I could tell Aline knew, too. But she answered her question anyway.

"You were upset and in a fight with Jace. I didn't want you to feel like you were being attacked from both sides, or like you didn't have anyone you could come to. So I decided to wait to talk to you until you and Jace made up." I ducked my head, guilt shooting through me when she used the word _attacked _to describe how I'd talked to Clary. But I couldn't argue because that had pretty much been what I was doing. "Now, I'll ask again. What the fuck were you thinking, Clary?" Her hair tickled my chin as she buried her face in my neck to hide from Aline. I debated pulling away so that she'd be forced to answer the question, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Not after being without her touch for so long.

"I don't want to tell you," Clary whispered, and I shivered at the familiar feeling of her breath washing across my skin.

"Why not, Clary? I need to know," Aline argued. I nodded in agreement.

"Because." Her voice was even quieter than it had been before, so quiet that Aline had to lean in to hear her. "You'll be mad at me." Aline sat back again and rolled her eyes.

"I'm already pretty mad about it, Clare bear. So you might as well just tell me, because I won't leave it alone." I felt the change in Clary's posture immediately. Her whole body tensed, her hands curling into fists where they were resting on her lap. And I knew what it meant: she was on the defensive, and she was going to start trying to piss off Aline more to avoid having to answer the question. She was going to push her away just like she'd done to me. I'd seen her do it enough times that I knew almost exactly what to expect.

"I made my damn decision, Aline. You don't know the situation. Now leave it the hell alone, and stop trying to stick your nose into my goddamn business." Aline stared at her, shock and hurt filling her eyes until I thought she was going to cry. I let go of Clary and grabbed Aline's hand to comfort her.

"She doesn't mean it, Aline," I assured her. She turned to me and furrowed her eyebrows, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

"Shut up, Jace. You have no idea what the hell I mean." I sighed and shook my head, unwillingly moving my hands to Clary's waist so I could lift her off my lap. She made a surprised noise and reached for me to try and pull herself close again, but I held her away. "What are you doing?" she asked, her voice quiet and panicked.

"We need to talk," I replied. She sucked her lower lip in between her teeth and looked away. I tried to catch her eyes again, but she refused to look at me. "Clary, you can't keep doing this," I said softly. Her green eyes snapped to mine and flickered away just as fast. "Me and Aline care about you. And every time you get upset, you get defensive, and some of the stuff you say hurts sometimes." She stared down at her hands as she wrung her fingers together in her lap. I sighed again. "You have to stop pushing us away." When she still didn't look at me, I reached over and lifted her chin with my index finger. "We're not going anywhere," I murmured. Aline made a noise that sounded to me like she was agreeing. Clary's eyes filled with tears as I looked at her, and she smiled sadly at me.

"You suck," she whispered. I smiled and shrugged. She leaned forward and kissed me once –it was over way too quickly, in my opinion- and turned back to Aline. "I'm sorry. He's right. But I didn't want you to get upset with me when I tell you why I chose to let Jonathan off." I noticed that she'd said _when, _not _if, _and took a deep breath. If she thought it was going to piss us off, it probably would. But at least she knew to trust us enough to tell us anyway.

"That's okay, Clary. But I really need to know. I have to see him every day, and if I agree with your reasons, then I won't hit him. But if I don't, I will." I laughed and nudged her with my knee, and she grinned back.

"Don't. Don't hit him. Not for me." I looked a Clary again, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. _Not for her? _Why else would we hit him? I reached for her again, pulling her back onto my lap. She leaned against me and sighed. "Do you want me to start from the beginning?" she asked.

"Please," Aline said, nodding. I put my arms around Clary's tiny frame and held her while she told her story.

For Aline's benefit, Clary started from the _very _beginning. She told her how, at first, she'd liked Jonathan, and thought he was genuine and sweet. I resisted the urge to snort and roll my eyes, considering that those two words were the farthest thing from how he really was that she could have possibly gotten. I watched Aline's reaction as she continued her story. She described how he'd asked her if he could kiss her, and then how he did despite Clary telling him she wasn't ready. Aline's brown eyes filled with anger, but she didn't interrupt. Clary told her about slapping him and the look her gave her the next day, and how scared she was that he was going to hurt her.

When she started telling Aline about how we caught him with Kaelie, I seriously thought Aline was about to get up and find him for the sole purpose of hitting him, or worse. But I reached out and stopped her. As much as I liked the idea of Jonathan getting hit again –preferably by my own fist-, I felt that Clary needed us to remain calm while she finished her story. Aline nodded in understanding and listened as Clary went on.

"Anyway," Clary said, finally getting to the part where I'd left her alone on the beach, which was the biggest mistake I'd ever made in my life. And it was one I wouldn't be making again. "About a minute after Jace left, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I thought it was Jace, so I turned around. Obviously it was Jonathan, and he tried to kiss me, but I jumped back just in time. We started arguing, and he grabbed onto my wrist and wouldn't let go no matter how hard I struggled, squeezing so hard I thought it was breaking. And when I told him I was with Jace, h-he . . . he-." Tears were steadily streaming down her face by this point, and she turned to look at me, her green eyes wide. I could see pain, fear, concern, and something else I could put a name to in her eyes as she stared at me.

"What'd he do, Clare bear?" Aline asked gently. Clary leaned forward and pressed her forehead against my chest, and I tightened my arms around her. Whatever she was about to say next was upsetting her more than anything else she'd told us had, and I was starting to think that maybe I didn't want to know.

"He . . . he threatened Jace. He said that he was 'easily dealt with'." The last part of her sentence came out on a sob, and I instinctually pulled her closer. But when what she'd said registered with me, I couldn't stop myself from laughing, just a little.

"Oh, Clary," I murmured, pulling back so she had to look at me. "Is that what you were worried about? That he'd hurt me?" She nodded, and I leaned in to press my lips against her forehead. "You have nothing to worry about, baby." Her body tensed a little at the endearment, but then relaxed again. I hadn't ever called her baby before, not to her face while she was conscious at least, and I didn't know where it came from this time. But it felt right, so I went with it. "He can't hurt me, Clary. I promise. The only way he can hurt me is by hurting you. Okay?" She nodded against my chest and then pulled back, wiping her eyes with her wrist.

"Well, then he started talking about how he'd get Kaelie to help take care of Jace, that he wouldn't be able to resist the things she can do with her body, things that will make him forget me in minutes." I rolled my eyes, and grinned when I saw Aline do the same. "And when I asked why he needed me when he had Kaelie, he started talking about how she was always talking about Jace when they were together, and that he was getting sick of it or something. And well, I kind of, um," she stuttered, refusing to look at me. I narrowed my eyes, and put my finger under her chin to turn her face towards me.

"What'd you say to him, Clary?" I asked. She swallowed loudly.

"I started talking about you, too," she answered in a whisper. Throughout the majority of the story, she'd been talking to Aline, but I knew that she was saying this part to me. I raised an eyebrow. "Um, I told him you were super hot and a good kisser, among other things, and then I told him that you were just all around better than him." I felt my cheeks heat up with blood, but I couldn't keep the smirk off my face for a second. But once I thought of how he must have reacted to that, my lips fell into a frown and my eyes widened.

"Clary!" I exclaimed. "Why would you say that? Why would you deliberately piss him off, when you knew how badly it could hurt you?" She looked down at her hands and shrugged.

"I thought it would make him let me go. But then he kissed me, really hard." She paused, and then shook her head. "I don't want to tell you the next part," she said, looking up at me again. Her eyes were pleading with me, but like Aline had said, I had to know.

"It's okay, Clary. I promise not to get mad. Just tell me." She pushed herself away from me and moved until she was sitting across from me and Aline, where she pulled her legs to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. I braced myself for what she was going to say next.

"Um, he stopped kissing me, and, um, told me he loved me," she whispered. My jaw practically fell off from dropping so quickly and so far. I stared at Clary for a minute, completely dumbstruck.

He_ told her _he _loved her? _

First, I was pissed off. How could an asshole like him, who didn't even know Clary, say he loved her? That was fucking ridiculous. I knew her so much better than he did, and _I _hadn't even told her I loved her yet.

And then my heart started pounding in my chest, insecurities flying through me. I hadn't told her I loved her yet. But Jonathan did. Is that why she let him off the hook? Because she thought he loved her, and that I didn't? How did that leave her feeling about him?

And, more importantly, how did that leave her feeling about _me?_

* * *

**Oh, Jace. What are we going to do with you? **

**See? I promise I'm back on the regular updating schedule. Not for long, though, seeing as there is only like four chapters left to the story . . . :) **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and stuck with the story over the month I didn't update. And thanks to everyone who wished my brother well, too. He's doing much better and should be back to normal pretty soon :D **

**Continue to read and review, please, because it makes me smile. And it makes me eager to write more :D **

**(P.S. Happy New Year everyone!) **


	37. Out Of The Blue

_**{Clary POV}**_

I couldn't look at Jace or Aline as I waited for them to respond. I'd known, from the moment Jonathan had said it on the beach that Jace would not be happy, which is why I'd never planned on telling them. But I couldn't say no to Jace, not anymore. I'd probably give him just about anything he wanted as soon as he looked at me with those gorgeous amber eyes of his. "Clary?" he said quietly. I still refused to look at him. "Clary?" he said again, a little louder and more forcefully . I took a deep breath before meeting his gaze. His face was set in that mask I hated so much again, and I fought back the urge to snap at him for it. "Is that why you let him off, Clary? Because he said he loves you?" I stared at him for a second, before I let out a sharp laugh.

"No. Not really." And it wasn't even a lie. Jonathan telling me he loved me didn't affect what I chose at all. It had only helped solidify the decision I had already made. Jace and Aline shared a look I couldn't read before they turned back to me in unison.

"Then you have to explain, Clary. Why the hell wouldn't you want him to be punished? He deserves to, after everything he put you through," Aline told me. I smiled sadly at her before I turned to look out over the ocean. For a long time after getting to the island, every time I looked over the water, I'd be searching for a little white dot on the horizon, growing in size as a boat coming to rescue me got closer. But after being with Jace and becoming best friends with Aline, I couldn't wish for rescue anymore. I knew my parents probably already thought I was dead, and I hated that they had to go through that pain. But I liked where I was now. I was happy. Despite that, though, I still didn't completely belong, not like Jace and Aline. Not like Jonathan did.

"I let him off without trouble because, well, it's basically my fault." Both of them opened their mouths to interrupt, probably to argue, but I held up my hand to stop them without even looking back. "No, listen to me. It's my fault. If I wasn't here, if I was still back in New York, none of this would have happened. Jonathan wouldn't think he was in love with me and needed to be with me. And Sebastian and Kaelie would still be together because Kaelie wouldn't have gone to Jonathan for help getting me away from Jace. I've caused so many problems and so much pain to so many people, I just wanted it to stop. I didn't want to make it worse on anybody, not even Jonathan. And if I had to make the decision again, I'd choose the same way." Neither of my friends behind me said anything for a minute, and curiosity got the better of me. I turned around and met their gazes, and instinctually flinched back. Both of them were _pissed, _which was something completely new with Aline, since I'd never seen her so mad before. And with Jace . . . I'd seen that look in his eyes before, and it led to me sprinting through the forest and hiding in a tree crying to get away from him.

"Are you _kidding me, _Clary?!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "That's your excuse?!" I looked down at the rocks and braced myself for him to say something to hurt me again like he had that day, but no hurtful words came. No one spoke again, and I was getting fidgety until a pair of strong, extremely familiar arms wrapped around me and crushed me to the hard chest I'd practically memorized. "You have to stop thinking like that, baby," he whispered to me. I turned in his embrace and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his chest. I inhaled deeply. He smelled so good, and it felt so right being in his arms again.

"I can't," I mumbled back truthfully, and he tensed. I waited for the blowup again but he just tightened his hold on me.

"Try." And with that word, that insignificant syllable, the conversation was over and I knew that all was forgiven, at least with Jace. After sitting motionless in his arms for a moment, I sighed and pulled back, brushing my lips across his cheek before I turned towards Aline. She was staring at us. She still looked angry at me, but there was something else in her eyes, something that looked a lot like . . . _envy? _

"Aline, I know you don't -," I started, but she cut me off.

"I don't agree with you." I nodded and waited for her to continue. "I think you do belong here. But if that's the decision you made and you insist on standing by that decision, there's nothing I can do. So, we'll leave this whole thing in the past since I now know what I wanted to know." I smiled brightly at her and immediately pulled her into a hug, moving my lips to ear.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "And don't tell me nothing." She stiffened for a second before relaxing again and turning her head towards me.

"I just wish I had what you and Jace have, you know?" I nodded sadly and squeezed her tighter, until she giggled. "I need to breathe some time, Clare bear." I pulled away with a sheepish smile, and she grinned back. "Okay, I'll leave you guys alone now." With that, she stood up and bounded back towards the forest without waiting for either of our responses.

As soon as she disappeared into the trees, I turned and launched myself at Jace, knocking him onto his back on the rocks. Before he could speak, I slammed my mouth down on his. I sighed happily when he kissed me back without hesitation, tangling his fingers in my hair. And I finally realized something: _that _was where I belonged, where I was happiest. And that was with Jace, in his arms, with my body as close to his as I could possibly get.

~LOTI~

About a week later, I could not fall asleep no matter what I did. I tried everything, from counting imaginary sheep to thinking of as many sweets as I could to humming a lullaby to myself. Nothing was working. Finally, at what I guessed was about two hours or so before dawn, I gave up and rolled onto my back, crossing my arms under my head as I stared at the ceiling. I could not figure out what my problem was. Why couldn't I sleep? Everything was perfect with Jace again, I wasn't homesick, I wasn't scared of Jonathan so much anymore because he was pretty much being supervised all day, every day. Nothing bad was going through my head, so I didn't understand what it was that was keeping me up. And after a few moments, I sighed and rolled out of bed, choosing to go to the beach and lay under the stars.

I just had to make sure I was back before dawn so Jace didn't get the wrong idea and worry for no reason.

For about half an hour, I laid on the sand on my back, staring up at the stars. Though I did it less and less often, I still occasionally wondered about my parents. Did they think I was dead? I was pretty certain they'd given up looking for me by that point, but I wondered if maybe they had a feeling I was still alive and happy. Like parent's intuition or something. Were they happy, even without me there? By then, the show they were supposed to be in would have already started live. Did they postpone it, or stay on schedule? Or maybe even cancel it? I really hoped they didn't cancel it on my account. I could still remember the gleam in my mother's eyes whenever she spoke about it. She'd been so excited to be working with my father again in another show, and she had immediately fallen in love with the script. And it would suck if she couldn't do it because of me.

When thinking about my parents became too much and I felt my eyes stinging with tears, I tried to think about something else. The first thing that popped into my head was Jace, which immediately brought a smile to my face. There was just something about him that made me insanely happy. I couldn't even describe it. It was more than just his looks –though he was more than just a little gorgeous. He was so sweet, and he never failed to make me laugh. He knew just how to make me feel better whenever I was sad or homesick. And I loved that he could read me so well, to the point that he practically knew what was bothering me before even I did.

God, I liked him so much. So much it hurt sometimes. If I didn't feel as strongly about him as I did, what he'd said wouldn't have hurt me so much. And it was crazy how much I trusted him. Even after everything that had happened between us when I first reached the island, and our most recent fight, I trusted him with my life. And as I spent more and more time with him, I was starting to trust him more and more with my heart. It was weird to think about, since I'd never felt so strongly about anyone before. Despite Jace's and Aline's assurances that I belonged here, I still didn't believe it sometimes. But knowing that I had someone like Jace, someone who would always be there for me when I needed them most, made me feel like I _could _belong.

Suddenly, for the first time, I wasn't afraid to admit it to myself. And I knew I'd admit it to Jace as soon as I got the chance, as soon as I was convinced it was the right moment. Just to prove to myself that I was done denying it to myself, I said it out loud. "I am in -." My words were cut off by an odd sound I didn't think I'd ever heard before. I stood up, prepared to defend myself if the situation demanded it and really hoping I didn't freeze in fear, and turned around to face the forest. I narrowed my eyes and scanned the trees in the little light the moon provided. When the sound continued and I didn't see anything, I turned slowly to face the water. The sound was getting closer and closer, louder and louder, and I let my eyes follow the line of water over the horizon until a speck of white caught my attention. It was getting closer to the island, slowing down as it approached, on the other side of the beach from me. I stood frozen where I was in disbelief.

_It can't be. It _can't_. I'm dreaming, _I thought to myself as I stared at the boat. I couldn't see anyone on deck, but it was slowing down, so I knew there was someone on it. But despite that, I didn't let myself hope. I wouldn't allow myself to be crushed if it wasn't. Just in case it was someone who could hurt me, I quickly got on my stomach behind the rocks about thrity feet from where the boat was about to land on the coast. I really hoped my bright red hair wasn't too noticeable when I peaked over to get a better look. It came to a stop on the sand, and I bit my lip at the loud gritting noise. I refused to take my eyes off of it until I was sure, but I curled up a little more, hoping to blend in with whatever shadows the rocks and trees were making around me.

For a few moments, nothing happened, and nobody appeared. The boat rocked slightly every time the tide washed in. The moon continued to sink slowly in the sky, and a pink hue from the sun could just barely be seen over the horizon, causing a small sliver of ocean to light up. A slight breeze blew over the beach, stirring sand and leaves. It was so silent and I was so focused, the rustling sound was almost loud in my ears. But still I kept my eyes focused on the boat. And no matter how hard I tried to keep it from happening, a small sliver of hope bloomed in my chest. Could it be? Maybe they hadn't given up on me after all.

Finally, after what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes, a small door on the floor of the boat was pushed up, blocking my view of whoever was pushing it. I held my breath as tears stung at my eyes. I would be so disappointed if it wasn't them. I stared at the opening as a head popped into my view, but it was too far away and not light enough for me to see who it was. All I could tell was that it was a man with dark hair that reached passed his ears. I gulped; my father never had long hair. He hated it. Pain shot through my chest as disappointment coursed through me. It wasn't them.

But I kept watching anyway, just in case the man was in trouble and needed help. Celine would help him no matter what, and I would lead him to her if need be. I blinked back tears as the man jumped off the boat, landing on the sand quietly, and looked around. After only a moment, he turned back to the boat and motioned with his hand that someone should join him. I swallowed hard and followed his gaze. Just as my eyes landed on the still-open door, someone else climbed out, and my heart started pounding in my chest. The person was slim yet curvy, which told me right away it was a woman. And even in the low light from the moon, I could see the color of her hair, which was just a few shades darker than my own. It took me a whole two seconds to make this discovery before I jumped to my feet and took off down the beach towards the familiar silhouette of my mother.

"Mom!" I screamed, my voice thick with tears. Both my mom and my dad –who I recognized as I got closer- turned towards me, their faces hopeful. They had only been facing me for about five seconds before I launched myself at my mom, wrapping my arms around her neck. "Mommy," I sobbed as I buried my face in her neck. She smelled just the same as always; lemons, fabric softener, and nail polish. She smelled like _home. _After practically squeezing the life out of her and feeling her squeeze me just as tight in return, I pulled away and looked at my dad, who hadn't moved since they turned. He was staring at me and my mom, one hand over his mouth, his blue eyes shiny with tears.

"Daddy," I cried, jumping at him. He caught me automatically, but held me loosely, like he was afraid I'd break or he'd wake up from a dream. But I wasn't having that. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tightened them until it was a wonder he could breathe at all. But it seemed to break him out of his daze, as his arms snaked around my waist. I felt his face against my hair as he fell to his knees and brought me down with him.

"Clary. Clary, Clary, Clary," he whispered, and I cried harder. I couldn't believe it. After all I'd been through, the months and months of thinking they'd moved on and forgotten about me, they were here, on the island. They found me. Suddenly, my mom fell to her knees beside us and joined in on the hug, pressing small kisses to my temple as my dad moved one of his arms to include her.

"Clary," my mom joined in on the chant. We sat there, wrapped up in each other for about ten minutes before my mom pulled away. She kissed my forehead once before smiling so wide I was surprised her cheeks didn't split. "My beautiful Clary, I can't believe we finally found you," she murmured and I couldn't help but smile back. It felt so good to see them again that I couldn't think about anything else.

"Come on, Clary. Let's go home," my dad added before pulling my mom and I back into his arms. But my muscles locked down, making me unable to move. It was getting harder and harder for me to breathe as I thought about what he'd said. _Let's go home. _I knew I should have been ecstatic to go back home, see my friends, live my 'dreams', and move on with my life. But I could only think of one thing:

_Jace._

* * *

**Did anyone expect that? I hope not, because I was going for an element of surprise in this chapter ;D**

**Anway, I know what some people might think when they read this chapter. You may think it's too fast. How on Earth can it go from Clary hating Jace after Jonathan attacked her, to her parents showing up on the Island? And I understand that. I can see how some people might think that. But if you think about it, there really isn't much else that could have happened. They're back together, Jonathan has kept his distance. If I added any more drama, I think it'd be overkill. And as much as I hate it, it's time to wrap up the story. There's nothing left to say. The only thing left unresolved was her life back in New York and if she was ever going to live it again. **

**I'm sorry if it disappoints anyone. Truthfully, it disappoints me, too. I don't want the story to be over either. But I also don't want to push it past it's limit and make it boring. Sorry, but this is the way I've decided to take it. **

**Well, now that thats out of the way, THANK YOU. The reviews I've been reading have kept a smile on my face for hours at a time. I've practically been smiling since I updated last Wednesday :D I appreciate your reviews so much, I cannot even tell you. You readers are absolutely amazing. Honestly. **

**Keep reading and reviewing. There are only a few more chapters left to go! :D I love you all. **

**R&R and all that jazz. Yanno, since it makes me smile. :)**


	38. Miserable Declaration

_**{Jace POV}**_

The sun shining through my window woke me up, and I stretched my arms above my head. I'd had another fantastic dream about Clary. In this one, I'd found her in the clearing, her bare back to me, wearing nothing but a tiny pair of shorts that barely covered anything. I'd walked up to her, pulled the shorts off of her, and made love to her, again and again. In the clearing, on the beach, in her room, in my room, behind the waterfall. It was one of the best dreams I'd ever had, and I remembered every single little detail of it with total clarity. If only it were reality . . .

It played through my head over and over again as I got dressed, and I was becoming more and more eager to see her. The past few weeks had gone by amazingly fast and very smoothly, without a single argument between Clary and I. As the days passed, the physical attraction between us had grown stronger and stronger, to the point of just seeing her made my body react. I wanted her so bad, every moment of every day, but I was not going to rush her into anything. I'd lost her once, and even though it was only for a few weeks, I wasn't willing to lose her again. It hurt too much. I needed her by my side, always. I was absolutely crazy about her, and I didn't care who knew it anymore.

I quickly ran around the house to her room, anticipating that moment when I first saw her face. It was my favorite part of every morning. But once I skidded to a stop outside her doorway, I realized her room was completely empty. Her bed was made, the guitar was in the corner, and the clothes she'd worn yesterday were piled neatly near the door so someone could grab them to take them to the river to wash them. I turned away and quickly made my way to the ladder so I could look for her. As soon as my feet touched the soft ground, I spun around and scanned the village, searching for her familiar red hair. But it took me even less than a minute to realize she wasn't there. At least, she wasn't anywhere I could see.

The feeling of someone's eyes on my face had me spinning around so fast I almost fell, but I caught myself just in time. Hope bloomed in my chest that it was Clary, but I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't. I focused on the person who was looking at me, too disappointed to put a name to the face, and the expression in their eyes immediately sent a bolt of fear through me. They were filled with sympathy and concern, but the most prominent emotion was _sadness. _Looking closer, I realized it wasn't just sadness. It was downright _devastation. _Looking around the village again, I paid more attention to everyone else this time. And I noticed that they _all _had that same expression in their eyes. A few people were sneaking glances at me, as well, but they all quickly averted their gazed when they caught me staring back. Suddenly, a bolt of fear shot through me. Something had happened. And it wasn't good.

I ran up to the first person I saw and grabbed their arm. When they turned to face me, I saw that it was Simon, and he was looking at me with the same expression as the rest of them. "Simon, where's my mom? Where's Clary? Why does everyone look so upset?" I asked, my panic clear in my voice. Simon sighed heavily and pulled me into a quick hug.

"Dude, everyone is okay. No one is hurt. And your mom and Clary are down at the beach." I fought the urge to sprint down to the beach to see for myself, with my own eyes, that the people I cared about most were okay. But I needed to know what was going on first.

"Then why does everyone look so fucking sad, Simon?" I demanded, attempting to hide how worried I was behind the emotionless mask that had pissed Clary off so much when I used it on her. But lately, she could see right through it, so I hadn't had the need to use it. I wasn't so sure it was working on Simon either.

"I was told not to tell you, Jace. I'm sorry. Clary wants to tell you herself." My heart clenched in my chest as I sprinted away from him without another word, heading towards the beach. Every worst case scenario possible flitted through my head in rapid succession, until I was practically hyperventilating with worry and fear.

I made it to the beach in record time, and stopped so fast my heels dug into the sand underneath my feet. What I was seeing completely confused me, and I didn't understand what the hell was going on. Standing just a few feet away from the rocks was Clary, but she wasn't alone. There were three other people with her: my mom; a red headed woman who looked extremely familiar, though I knew for a fact that she wasn't from the island; and a man with longish, light hair that I hadn't ever seen before in my life. Nothing was making sense to me. _Who are these people? _I wondered, too confused to move from where I was standing.

And though I was still pretty far from the group, I could hear small parts of their conversation. And my chest tightened with each word I heard. " . . . so sad to see you go," my mom said, sniffling.

"I'm sad to be going, too, Celine. But . . . my life . . ." Clary responded.

"I know, Clarissa. We'll miss you," my mom replied, pulling Clary into a hug. My eyes flicked to the red haired woman again as realization dawned on me. The woman looked like an older version of Clary, with the same curly hair and green eyes.

"Her mother?" I whispered to myself, my voice filled with shock. I looked at Clary, and stared. She was looking down at the sand beneath her feet, her cheeks red but her eyes dry. And suddenly, anger spread through my veins like a wildfire, setting everything ablaze and turning my vision red. Clary was _leaving _the island, leaving _me, _and she didn't even look upset about it. "You're leaving?!" I yelled at her, stalking forward. Everyone in the group immediately looked at me, but I had eyes only for Clary. She looked horrified, her green eyes filled with fear. But that's it. No pain, no sadness. She was afraid of me.

When I reached her, I wrapped my fingers gently around her upper arm and pulled her with me back towards the forest. I could hear her parents yelling at me and my mom telling them that it'd be okay, that I'd never hurt her. But I ignored all of them, until I heard Clary's whimper. "Jace." The sound of my name in her sweet voice cracked my angry shell, but I wouldn't let it completely shatter as I pulled her out of the sight of our parents on the beach.

"You're going _back?!_" I exclaimed as quietly as I could, resisting the urge to yell at her. I didn't want anyone else to overhear the conversation.

"Jace, I'm going _home,_" she replied without meeting my eyes. "My friends, my house, my life are all back in New York." And her emotionless mask fell from her face. Her green eyes finally filled with tears and I could see how upset she was. The sadness in her eyes chipped at my anger again, replacing it with pain, until I felt like my body was collapsing in on itself. I could barely draw a breath into my lungs as I stared at Clary.

"Home?" I asked, blinking rapidly. My eyes were getting a little wet, just like hers, but I didn't want to cry in front of her. I was still too angry, and the last thing I wanted from her was pity. Actually, the only thing I wanted at all was her to promise me she was mine, the she wasn't leaving. I wanted her to swear to me she'd stay with me forever. "If New York is your 'home', then what is the island to you, huh?" I asked nastily, gritting my teeth. "Just a nice vacationing spot? Somewhere for you to hang out for awhile before you left and forgot all about us?"

"Jace, no-," she started, reaching out to me. I cut her off and backed away from her outstretched hand. I couldn't let her touch me, or I'd break down completely and make a total fool of myself. I needed to get out of there before I could do or say something we'd both regret.

"Whatever, Clary. Do whatever you want. It's over. I hope you enjoy your life in New York, you know, since it's so impossible for you to enjoy it here." With that, I turned around and ran back to the village and flung myself up the ladder and into my room. I didn't look at anyone as I passed them, unwilling to see the pity in their eyes. I collapsed face down onto my pillow and struggled to get the tears at bay again. It took me about ten minutes of laying alone in the room, but I finally got them under control and sat up.

"Are you ready to talk to me, Jonathan?" I jumped. I hadn't even seen my mom sitting on the bed until she'd spoken. She was looking at me with concern and love in her eyes, and I suddenly felt like a little boy again. I wanted to sit on her lap and have her tell me that it was all a bad dream and I'd forget about it tomorrow. But it wasn't a bad dream. And there was nothing she could do to comfort me. Not if I was losing Clary for good.

"No. Go away," I told her hoarsely. She didn't speak for a second, and I exhaled harshly. I knew what she was doing; she was trying to get me to talk by not saying anything, leaving me in the spotlight. And damn it if it wasn't working. It always fucking worked on me. "Fine, mom. What do you want me to say? That I'm glad she's leaving? That I won't miss her with every single fiber of my being? That I'm happy I'll never get to see her again? That my chest doesn't feel like it's about to split in half? Because all of that would be a _lie,_" I grumbled, my voice cracking. I felt her hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles into my shoulder blades, and I leaned back slightly so it was pressed more firmly against me.

"Jonathan," she murmured, and didn't speak again until I looked at her. We stared at each other for a couple of seconds before she spoke again. "Do you love her?" My muscles tensed, and suddenly I just wanted to run away. I did not want to answer that question, not to her and not to myself. Because since Clary was leaving and I'd never see her smiling face again, the answer might have shattered me.

"That has nothing to do with anything, mom. She's leaving. She's going back to New York," I replied, looking away. My mom put her finger under my chin and tilted my face towards her, forcing me to meet her eyes again .

"Jonathan, do you love her?" she asked again, looking back and forth from one of my eyes to the other. I swallowed hard before answering.

"I don't know, mom. I've never thought about it. And what does it matter? She's still leav-." She cut me off and tightened her grip on my face, until I had no choice but to focus on her and her alone. The pressure on my chin stopped me from thinking about my anger at Clary and my unwillingness to think about my feelings for her anymore. I just stared into my mom's eyes as she glared at me, her lips pressed together into a tight line.

"Jonathan. _Do you love her_?" she said forcibly, over emphasizing so that every single word sounded like its own sentence. My throat felt thick and my eyes were swimming again.

"Yes!" I finally yelled. "Yes, okay? I love her! I love her, and she's leaving. I haven't even told her I love her. I'll never get the chance. Because I'll never see her again!" I jerked my head away from her hand and buried my face against my knees as the tears fell from my eyes in steady streams, soaking into the legs of my shorts. "I fucking _love_ her," I whispered once more, the words muffled to the point where I was positive my mom hadn't heard. If she had, I was sure she would have smacked me in the back of the head for cursing.

"You love her," she said, waiting for me to nod without lifting my head. "Jonathan, haven't I taught you anything?" I raised my head up and looked at her again. Her eyes were filled with tears now, too, and I pulled myself onto the bed next to her and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me back and pressed her face against my shoulder.

"You've taught me everything," I replied. I didn't know where she was going with the question, but I had a feeling I wasn't going to like it.

"If you love something, set it free. If it's meant to be yours, it will come back. If it's meant to be yours," she repeated against my shoulder. "It will be." I pulled away from her embrace and stared at her.

"You're saying that I have to say goodbye to the girl I love . . . because I love her?" I asked exasperatedly. But I didn't _want _to let her go. I wanted to hold her in my arms for every second of forever.

"Yes. She needs to go her own way. She needs to do what she wants to do. And if she wants to come back, she'll find a way back to you, Jonathan. You just have to be patient." I bit my lip and looked down at my lap when I realized my mom was right.

If Clary let her parents leave without her, she would never be happy. She would always wonder what would have happened if she decided to move back to New York and pursue her dreams. She would always miss her family and friends and everything about her whole life, until she willingly left it all behind. She would be left thinking about the 'what ifs' and 'could-have-beens'. And I couldn't ask her to do that, not for me. I loved her too much to ask her to be miserable for my own happiness. I loved her too much to beg her to stay like I wanted to. And I loved her too much to ever ask her to make a choice between me and her family, now that it was her choice again.

"You're right. But, mom, I'm going to miss her so much," I whispered brokenly. My mom put her arms around me again and pulled me closer, and I leaned into her. I really needed the support, considering I felt like I was going to pass out at the thought of never seeing Clary again. Just imagining it _hurt _like almost nothing else ever had before. The only thing that hurt worse was imagining her resenting me for asking her to stay and forget about all the things she'd always wanted.

"I know you will, Jonathan. We all will. The whole village _loves_ that girl. But it'll be okay. I promise." I nodded, and just rested against her for a few moments. We were both lost in thought, staring out into space. I, of course, was thinking of Clary, and of all the things she could do with her talent. At first, the only thing that registered with me was the fact that she'd be doing everything _without me_ for the rest of her life, moving on and doing the things she loves while I was stuck on the island pining after the girl who got away. But when I thought about it a little more, I realized how happy she could be. And that was something I wanted more than my own happiness: _hers._

"And what do I do now?" I asked, turning to look at her. She pressed a kiss to my forehead and smiled sadly at me.

"Now, you go and you find the girl you love, make the best of the time you have left together, and get ready to say goodbye."

* * *

**I'm going to go hide now so you don't kill me . . . :D**

**Anyway, this is a day late. I know. I'm sorry. And this time, I honestly don't have an excuse other than that I was not satisfied enough with this chapter to post it yesterday. So I spent all day tweaking and changing it, until I thought it was at least better than before :) I hope it's good enough. And again, sorry! Really, it was just because I didn't think the way I'd had it would live up to expectations, if anyone had any. **

**I love getting all these reviews and alerts and favorites! Seriously. It's an amazing feeling. You are all awesome :D thanks so much, and I'd appreciate it if you kept it up?!**

**Read and review, because it's coming to the end of the story! I need opinions and stuff! It might affect what happens to Jace and Clary next :D**


	39. Only You

_*Warning - This chapter contains lemons*_

**_{Clary POV}_**

I couldn't move. I could barely _breathe._ My throat was dry and tight, and my chest felt like it was going to explode or crack into a million tiny pieces. Tears stung at my eyes, and I fought them back until I finally just couldn't take it anymore. I dropped to my knees and doubled over until my forehead was pressed against the cool ground as sobs wracked my body. I could feel my hands shaking hard as I held them against my face, basically digging my fingernails into my temples as an attempt to distract myself from the pain in my chest . . . it wasn't working.

He hated me. And it hurt. _God, _did it hurt, more than just about anything else I'd ever experienced.

As I'd curled up in my parents arms for the first time in months when I'd first recognized it was them, I'd realized something, and it wasn't something good. I was going to have to hurt Jace, the first person I'd ever truly loved. I wasn't afraid to admit it to myself anymore. I was absolutely madly, deeply, _painfully _in love with him. And hurting him was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But I was being offered something I just couldn't pass up. I could have my _life_ back. I could go back to the city I loved, back to my family and friends and dreams I'd been forced to leave behind. There really was not much of a choice for me. I knew what I had to do.

But that didn't mean it wasn't the hardest thing I would ever have to do in my life. I knew that it was going to be extremely difficult and painful. Over the months and months I'd spent on the island, I'd grown to absolutely love it. I had become close to a lot of people lately, and I was going to miss them all terribly. They had become my family, the village my home, and I knew I'd never forget anything about my experience on the island. I would forever miss the laughter and chatter and music at the fire at dinner every night, and the smell and sounds of nature I'd grown to not only love, but crave. I didn't think I would be able to sleep amongst the loud city noises anymore, having grown so accustomed to the peace and quiet of nature. And I was definitely going to miss the beach, with the beautiful sand and amazing view of the clear blue ocean.

But I knew mostly I was going to miss the amazing people I'd come to think of as family: Celine, Aline, Jace's group of friends who had been taking care of me after the Jonathan fiasco. The people on the island were some of the most amazing people I had ever had the pleasure and privilege to meet. They hadn't had to take me in or make special vegetarian meals for me or treat me so well. But they did, and so much more. They made me feel comfortable and welcome and loved and . . . like I belonged. And leaving them was going to be so hard.

But I couldn't stay. I had to go. No matter how much it was going to hurt.

I stayed curled up in a ball on the forest floor for about five more minutes before I heard my parents calling for me. With a deep sigh that made my chest hurt again, I stood up, wiping the tears off my face and hoping my parents didn't notice the puffiness of my cheeks or the pain in my eyes. I hadn't told them about Jace, so they had no idea how deeply in love I was. I didn't know when I was going to tell them, if I was at all. There were so many different ways they could take it, and I didn't think any of them were good.

As we made our way back onto the beach again, my father slung his arm over my shoulder and pulled me tightly into his side. Him and my mom had been stroking my hair or holding my hand or wrapping their arms around me since we were reunited. And I understood that, considering they'd thought they lost me for the majority of a year. But by keeping such a close eye on me, they were preventing me from running off to find Jace and beg him not to be mad at me for my decision. I'd hate to leave knowing that he hated me. I knew that it would be easier, that him being angry was better than being in pain and that he'd move on faster if he hated me. But I just couldn't let him. I had to try to explain. I had to make him understand why I had to leave.

But I couldn't tell him I loved him.

Despite how true it was and the strength of that love I had for him, it would make things harder than they needed to be. I could only imagine what he would think if I told him that I loved him but was leaving anyway. Would he feel even sadder? More intense pain? Would he think that that meant that he wasn't good enough for me- that I needed more? It would kill me if he thought that, because it couldn't be further from the truth. If anything, I wasn't good enough for him, and him thinking anything else would be absolutely ridiculous.

"Ready to go back home, kiddo?" my dad asked me, breaking me out of my thoughts of Jace. I blinked rapidly a couple of times, and that was when I realized we were standing right next to the boat they'd arrived in. Once I understood what he was asking me, I quickly ducked under his arm and backed away from him, shaking my head.

"No. No, I'm not ready!" I exclaimed. Panic bubbled up in my chest and I shook my head faster, my hair flying wildly around my head. "I c-can't leave. Not yet. No. I have . . . I have to- to say . . . goodbye! No, I can't go. Please!" I begged. I could feel the anxiety attack brewing up inside of me, and it was impossible to stop. "No, no, no. Please. I'm not ready," I pleaded again. My parents took a step towards me with concern in both of their eyes, raising their hands as if to reach towards me. I dropped my own outstretched hands to keep the distance between us bigger. Their hands had been too close to mine.

"Clary, honey, it's time to go home," my mom said, moving towards me a little faster. I shook my head and glared at her.

"No. I _am not ready._" With that, I spun on my heel and took off towards the village like the hounds of hell were chasing me. I had to find him, to explain, to make him see that it wasn't about him. He had to know that I owed him so much -that I owed him _everything_- because I appreciated him and everything he'd done for me over the duration of the time I spent on the island. I had to tell him that I was going to miss him so much, and that I would never forget him, no matter what. He had to understand.

"Clary!" my parents yelled after me, falling behind. I knew they wouldn't be able to find their way to the village without a guide, and a part of my hoped they'd get lost in the forest so I could have a little more time. I needed more time.

I broke through the trees into the village, my eyes immediately scanning my surroundings to look for that familiar tall boy with curly blonde hair. When I didn't see him, I took off again, towards the house and up the ladder. I wasn't paying any attention to anything but my own thoughts about what I could possibly say to make Jace forgive me, so I didn't notice the body in front of me until I crashed headfirst into it. Pain lanced through my body as I rebounded backwards and landed on the floor right on my tailbone. I rubbed my skull with one hand and my lower back with the other as I tried to get my bearings. "Ow," I muttered to myself, but a familiar chuckle distracted me from the pain.

"You okay there, Clary?" Jace asked from above me. My head snapped up once I realized that he –_Jace_- was the person I ran in to. He was still on his feet, looking down at me with his hand outstretched to help me up. His perfect lips that I knew so well were pulled into a smile, but his eyes were filled with sadness. I put my hand in his without hesitation, and as soon as he pulled me to my feet, I launched myself at him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as tight as I could and buried my face in his neck. My breathing was labored and loud, and I was trying to apologize and explain before he could push me away and tell me he never wanted to see me again.

"Jace, please, _please_, let me explain. It's not that I don't want to stay, because I do. _So much._ This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make and I don't know-," I started, but cut off when he pressed his lips against the side of my head, right above my ear. His strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him just as tightly as I was holding him, and all the breath wooshed out of me in one loud, relieved sigh. "Jace," I whispered again, but he cut me off.

"Shh, Clary. It's okay." I shook my head.

"No, it's not! Jace, I can't let you hate me. Please, let me explain," I begged. He pulled back to look at me, shaking his head.

"Of course we can talk, baby. Just not here, okay? Come with me." I nodded enthusiastically as he grabbed my hand, twining our fingers together. He led me down the ladder and through the village without a word, always keeping some part of his body touching some part of me. I gladly curled into his side when he wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we left the village. I didn't even care where we were headed, as long as we were together, and as long as he gave me a chance to explain.

After a few minutes of walking, Jace finally stopped, tightening his hold on me to stop me, too. I looked up at him, oblivious to our surroundings. Oblivious to everything but him. He met my gaze with a sad smile. "Please, Jace. Please don't hate me," I begged, closing my eyes so I didn't have to see the pain or anger in his. I knew, now that we were out of hearing range of the rest of the village, he was going to tell me that I'd ruined everything, that he couldn't stand the sight of me after everything that had had and would happen.

"Clary, stop. How could I ever hate you?" he asked. He cupped my face in his hand and ran his thumb over my cheek, again and again, until I opened my eyes to meet his gaze. His expression was one of understanding sadness and adoration, and my heart clenched at the sight of it.

"Because, Jace. I'm leaving," I replied. He moved his finger from my cheek and pressed it to my lips, effectively shushing me.

"I understand, Clary," he said sincerely. And I knew then that he didn't hate me. He knew that our separation was inevitable, and he understood the necessity of my returning to New York.

Looking at Jace, I realized something else. He was _it _for me. There would be no one else, ever. I would go back to New York, and I would move on with my life. But I was leaving my heart here with him, because it was his. I was his. He would always have a part of me, just like I knew I'd be taking a part of him with me. And feeling my departure, the deadline of our relationship, creeping up on us, I knew that he was the one I wanted to give myself to. I couldn't tell him I loved him, but I could show him. I needed to show him.

"Make love to me, Jace." I stared into his eyes, willing him to do as I said. I wanted him to be the one to take me for the first time. I needed to feel him everywhere before I left, before I would never feel him anywhere again. He looked back at me, his eyes and mouth gaping open with shock. "Make love to me," I repeated, sliding my hands up into his hair and tightening my fingers into fists to pull him closer.

"Wha-. But Clary, you are-," he stuttered, and I shook my head.

"No, Jace. Don't think about it. Make love to me. Kiss me." I pulled his head down the rest of the way until our lips touched, but I didn't kiss him. We stared at each other, connected by our mouths, inhaling each other.

"Clary, you're leaving." He pressed a small, chaste kiss to my lips when I opened my mouth to stop him again. "No, we can't ignore it. It's true. You're leaving. And you deserve so much, Clary. You don't owe me anything. Don't feel like you have to do this, not because you're leaving." I furrowed my brows at him and shook my head, causing our lips to slide and press together in a way that made my breath catch.

"I'm not trying to ignore it. And I do owe you, a lot actually. But that's not why I want to do this. I want you to be the one, Jace. I want you to be my first." _Because I love you,_ I added in my head, hoping he didn't read it in my eyes. "Make love to me, Jace," I said for the fourth time, just a slight whisper against his lips. "Take me, because right now is all we have left. This moment. And all I want to do in this moment is get as close to you as I possibly can. Let me, Jace. Let me get close to you, let me give you a part of myself that I've never given anyone else. Take me."

He stared at me for a moment longer before his eyes filled with determination and he crashed his mouth to mine. Our kisses were filled with desperation, our lips moving in synchronization almost angrily. But when he moved to pull at the hem of my shirt, his hands were gentle. I moved back for a moment to remove it for him, giving him just a second to look at me before I returned to his arms and kissed him again. His fingers moved back to my body, touching bare skin this time, starting at the waistband of my shorts and moving up slowly, so slowly, until his big hands were cupping my breasts over my bra. I sucked in a breath as the tips of his thumbs brushed over my nipples. They immediately hardened under his touch, and he groaned. "Clary," he whispered as his hands moved again, tracing the strap off my bra around to the clasp in the back and pausing.

"Do it, Jace. Please. I want to feel you," I said breathlessly, and with another low groan, he unhooked it and pulled it off me. His hands, instead of going instantly back to my bare breasts like I expected, slid down to my waist and hooked into my shorts. I nodded quickly when he hesitated again, and he dragged them, along with my panties, down my legs. He was still fully clothed, and I was completely bare before him –before _anyone _- for the first time in my life. And I didn't feel a shred of self-consciousness. He was looking at me like I was precious, like the most beautiful thing in the world. And under his intense gaze, I felt like it.

After standing still for him to stare at me for a few silent moments, I stepped forward and slowly undressed him, letting my fingers brush every new inch of his skin. He was all soft skin over hard muscle, and I'd never seen anything so naturally perfect in my life. When I reached his shorts, I paused and looked up at him. He was gazing back at me with an intense hunger in his eyes that sent a shiver all through my body, where it stopped and pooled between my thighs. I'd never felt turned on before, but I knew that my body was responding to him, wanting him, _needing _him, despite my inexperience.

Without looking away from his eyes, I slid his shorts and boxers down, allowing the side of my hand to skim the length of his manhood. He moaned deep in his throat, and the sound sent another shiver through me. I was so wet I could feel it dripping down my thigh. Once Jace finished kicking off his shorts and we both stood bare before each other, I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, smiling when I felt him do the same. "Take me," I said again. He slowly dropped to his knees, pulling me with him, and pushing me down to lie on my back with him hovering over me. He propped himself up on one elbow and cupped my cheek in his free hand.

"It's going to hurt, baby," he told me and I nodded. I knew that a girl's first time was supposed to hurt, but I was ready. I knew what I wanted. When I told him this, he looked down at my body before meeting my eyes again. "I want to make you feel good first," he whispered, almost to himself, before lowering himself to press fully against me. The weight of him on top of me and the feeling of all his naked skin pressing against mine was more pleasurable than anything else I'd ever felt before.

He covered my mouth with his for a second before moving his lips down, over my chin and neck, across my collarbones and lower still. When he skimmed his mouth against my nipple, my toes curled in pleasure, and I let out a groan when he sucked it in between his lips and brushed it with the flat of his tongue. His free hand played with my other breast, mimicking the actions of his tongue on my nipple, for just a few moments before switching. When I was shuddering and pleading for more beneath him, he continued sliding his mouth lower, gently forcing my legs apart with his hands. Once I realized what he was about to do, I lifted myself onto my elbows. Nerves and uncertainty shot through me.

"Jace, you don't have to do that." He looked up at me with a smirk before lowering his head and taking one long, slow lick up my dripping wet sex. "Oh!" I breathed, my head falling back on my shoulders. When he parted my folds with his fingers and flicked the tip of his tongue against my clit for the first time, I dropped back to the ground with a gasp. Sensations I'd never felt before were shooting through my body, coiling tightly in my belly. He pressed a kiss to my bundle of nerves before sucking it into his mouth. My back arched high off the forest floor, my hands shooting forward to tangle in his hair and hold his mouth against me. "Oh my god, Jace!" I screamed as I was thrust closer and closer to an inevitable finish. My hips instinctively bucked against his face as he sucked and licked and nipped at my sensitive flesh. The heat in my lower body grew into a blaze, and I knew it wouldn't be long before he pushed me over the edge. "Oh, Jace," I moaned. "I'm going to-." He sucked hard on my clit and stuck one long finger inside me, making my sentence cut off with scream as white lights exploded behind my eyes. Pleasure rocketed through my entire body and my back arched high again, my thighs clenching around his head as I rode out my first ever orgasm.

Jace brought me down from my high gently, cleaning my juices with his tongue. I fought to get my breath back, my limbs feeling all tingly from the mind blowing ecstasy he'd just put me through. Once I could move again, I grabbed Jace's arm and pulled him up so he was lying on top of me once more. "Jace, that was . . ." I breathed, unable to come up with any words. He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me softly, letting me taste myself on his tongue. After only a moment, I pulled back and looked into his eyes. I needed to see him.

"Make love to me," I said once more. He searched my expression wordlessly for a long moment before he nodded. With one more gentle kiss to my lips, he reached between us and lined his erection up with my entrance, nudging me gently. I hissed in anticipation, and he moaned in response.

"This is it, Clary. Once we do this . . . well, there's no going back," he whispered to me. I reached up and twined my arms around his neck, pulling him all the way down on top of me so I could feel every inch of him. "You have to be sure, Clary."

I didn't even have to think before I gave him my answer.

* * *

**Can't really be considered a cliffie if you all basically know what she's going to say, right? **

**Anyway, this past week has been one of shittiest of my entire life. I got the flu really badly, to the point where I was bed ridden for three days with a 100+ temperature. Then, my best friend got the flu, to the point of a 103+ temperature, and wound up being rushed to the emergency room. If that wasn't bad enough, my cat, who I've had less than two years and love so very much, got really, severly sick. The vets have done all they can for him and say it could go either way. But there is a chance we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. If anyone has ever lost a pet or even come close, you know how heart breaking it is. **

**Basically, life has been kicking my ass lately, you know? All I've been thinking this past week is, 'what's next?' **

**Anway, I'm not going for a sob story or anything. I'm on time so I'm not making an excuse. I'm just tired of everything. I really, really am.**

**Your reviews play a big role in keeping me going. Thank you so much. Every time I got an alert or favorite notification, or a review, it never failed to put a smile on my face. Even when I felt like I was on my death bed, so thank you. So much. I honestly, truly appreciate it more than I can say. **

**So keep the reviews coming, because I love them. I really do. Thank you. **


	40. Ready Or Not

_*Lemony times ahead*_

**_{Jace POV}_**

"I'm sure, Jace," Clary replied from below me. There was not a single ounce of indecision in her eyes as I stared into them. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, that the girl I loved and wanted more than anything wanted me, too. She wanted me to be her first, even though she was leaving and we may never see each other again. Pain shot through me at the thought, but was replaced by pleasure when she moved her hips closer to me. The head of my cock was enveloped in warmth, and I threw my head back at the feeling. "I'm _sure_, Jace," she said again, softly and reassuringly.

I nodded and bit my lip, praying that I didn't explode the moment I felt her all around me. "Clary," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her. As her perfect lips moved with mine, I inched my hips closer to her, pushing into her wet heat. She squirmed a little and I slid back. "Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded and dug her fingernails into my back, urging me on. I pushed back in again, a little further this time, and all the breath left me in a huff. I wasn't even a quarter of the way in and she already felt so good. She was so tight and wet and _warm _and hot all at the same time. I really wanted to bury myself inside her and never move, but I knew I had to be gentle. I would not hurt her, not if I could help it. "You have to tell me if it hurts, Clary. You have to tell me when to stop," I told her, refusing to let her close her eyes or move until she answered me. "Promise me, Clary."

"I promise, Jace." I stared into her beautiful eyes as I pulled back and inched forward a little more. Her lips pursed, but there was no pain on her face. I stopped anyway and lowered my forehead to hers, just so I didn't blow my load too soon. She reached up and wrapped her fingers in my hair, and I angled my face so I could kiss her. "I promise, Jace. Please," she whispered. With a deep breath, I continued, moving back a little before sliding farther inside of her. I repeated this a few times until I felt her barrier against the tip of my dick.

"Clary, it's going to hurt. I don't want to hurt you. Please don't let me hurt you," I begged through gritted teeth. Her walls were so tight around my cock that it almost felt like they were trying to push me out. She felt so good, though, and I didn't want to stop. But I wanted to hurt her even less. God, if I hurt her . . . I would never be able to live with myself.

"It's okay, Jace. You won't hurt me," she assured me. I met her sure gaze for a few more seconds before I nodded. I leaned down to capture her mouth with mine in a passionate kiss as I thrust my hips forward, breaking through her barrier and sheathing myself completely inside her for the first time. She pulled her mouth away from mine and gasped, her eyes filling with tears. I immediately stopped moving and dropped my head to her shoulder. She felt so fucking good, and all I wanted to do was pull out and slam into her again. She was so tight all around me. I could feel her heat through my entire body and it was the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced. I wasn't a virgin, but for how close I was to exploding so soon after finally being inside her, I may as well have been.

But she was hurting. I could feel it in the pounding of her heart and hear it in the shallow gasps she was making. Her nails were digging almost painfully into my shoulders, and I could feel the tightness of her jaw against my cheek. I pulled back to look at her and my heart broke at the pain in her eyes. "Oh, Clary. I'm so sorry," I said, moving to pull out of her so she didn't have to hurt anymore. But she stopped me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. She tightened them, pulling me even deeper inside her, and I groaned. "You're in pain, Clary. You promised," I said, almost reluctantly.

"I'm okay, Jace. Honestly. It only hurts a little. Please don't stop," she begged. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, completely conflicted. I really did not want to hurt her. She meant everything to me and it hurt me to cause her any pain. But she didn't want me to stop. My body didn't want me to stop. My heart didn't want me to stop. Most of me wanted to give her what she was asking for, to make love to her for as long as she'd let me. But the pain in her eyes and the voice inside my head were telling me that I should stop, no matter what my body wanted. That I should pull out, wrap my arms around her, and tell her how sorry I was for being such a selfish dick. Fuck getting off. It wasn't worth it if she was in pain.

After a few moments of motionless contemplation, I made my decision. I couldn't hurt her anymore, not after all the things I'd done before to her. She deserved so much better. But just as I was about to move my hips back and pull out, she made a breathless little noise in the back of her throat and tightened her legs around me again, swiveling her hips up and into mine. My dick throbbed as it moved inside of her, and I had to clench all my muscles to stop myself from pounding into her like an animal. "Clary, are you okay?" I asked through my teeth gritted in pleasure. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before.

"I need you to move, Jace. Please," she pleaded, reaching up. She twisted her fingers into my hair and yanked, moving her hips against me again. The inhale I heard from her sounded a lot like a gasp of pleasure. "Oh. Oh my," she whispered, and I lifted head to look into her eyes again. Just like that sweet little gasp, they were filled with shocked pleasure, and my heart swelled with love and hope. Maybe I could make her feel good again. Maybe I could make her first time good for her, something to remember after she went back home.

I pulled my hips back, dragging my dick almost all the way out of her before slowly pushing back into her heat again, making sure my pelvic bone brushed her clit when I was fully sheathed within her, just like before. She whimpered, and the sound went straight to my groin and made my cock throb almost painfully. "You like that, baby?" I asked, repeating the action again. I would do anything in the world to hear that tiny, hot sound from her, as many times as I could. Her back lifted off the ground, her chin arcing in the air as she whimpered again. I groaned loudly in response as I wrapped my arm around her back to hold her body against mine. I needed to feel her bare skin against me or I would lose my mind.

"Jace," she whispered in my ear, and I bit my lip as I thrust myself slowly in and out of her, again and again, rubbing against her clit on each pass. I reveled in her pleasured sounds as I made some of my own, and lost myself in making love to her.

But she felt too good, and it had been a long time since I'd felt anything nearly as wonderful as Clary felt. It was only about two minutes later when I could feel the tightening in my lower abs and in my balls. There was nothing I could do to stop my orgasm from crashing through me, so I thrust once more into her, a little harder than I intended, before I pulled out and shot spurt after spurt of cum onto the grass right between Clary's spread legs. My body shuddered and shivered as I came down, groaning her name loudly the entire time, until I collapsed on top of her. I held most of my weight off of her with my arms, though I was so spent that it was an actual effort to hold up my own body weight.

"Clary," I whispered in complete adoration as, after I got my strength back, I rolled off of her. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my body, away from the mess I'd left. She fit against me perfectly, her legs tangled with mine and her hips fitting in the space between mine like she was made to be there. And maybe she was.

"Jace," she replied, just as quietly as I'd spoken. She rested her head on my chest as I ran my hands up and down her back, trailing my fingertips along her spine and smiling when she shivered and sighed happily. "Thank you, Jace." My fingers stilled against her skin and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"For what, Clary?" She lifted her head but didn't meet my eyes, her cheeks a deep shade of pink. With her hair all tangled and wild, her lips swollen and shimmery from my kisses, and sweat making her face and collarbones shiny, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen before in my life. The three words I'd been dying to say to her since I figured them out myself flew to the tip of my tongue, but I bit them back as I waited for her response.

"For everything. You've done so much for me, Jace. And you didn't have to. I'll never forget all you've done for me." She said the last sentence so quietly I had to lean my head closer to hers to hear her, and my heart clenched painfully in my chest.

"No, Clary. Please. Please don't say goodbye yet," I begged, burying my face in her hair. She smelled so good –like wildflowers, sweat, sex, and _Clary_-, and I inhaled deeply, trying to pull her into myself where I could hold onto her forever.

"But Jace," she tried to argue, finally meeting my eyes. I cut her off with a hard kiss and pulled my head back again. I could feel panic and pain welling up inside of me, and I was sure she could see the way my eyes were pleading with her for just a little more time. Just a little more time with her, in denial that I was going to lose her very, _very _soon. I couldn't handle thinking about it yet, or I'd break down, into pieces. And even a moment of that would be a waste of some of the few precious hours I had left with her.

"Please," I whispered. "_Please." _Her eyes jumped from one of mine to the other, back and forth, for a few silent moments. I could plainly see the indecision in her expression. But finally, she nodded.

"Okay, Jace. Okay."

~LOTI~

Clary and I spent the next few hours in our little bubble together, wrapped in each other's arms. We didn't make love again, even though laying naked with her made me hard pretty soon after I'd just blown my load all over the forest floor. But I knew Clary had to be sore, and I didn't want to cause her anymore pain or discomfort. And I just wanted to spend time with her while I could, since I didn't have all that much time left. But I pushed that thought away as fast as it popped into my head.

We talked about everything we could think of, except the things we needed to talk about. Whenever she tried to mention that she was leaving or what she'd do when she got to New York, I'd cut her off, begging and pleading with her to just give me a little more time in ignorance with her. I needed her to act like we were just hanging out, like we always did. I knew there was a deadline looming over our heads. I could feel it creeping up like a death sentence. But I didn't want that to ruin our last few hours together.

Eventually, we both knew we had to head back to the village. I knew my mom had to be worried, and I was sure her parents were probably freaking out. They'd just gotten Clary back, only to have her disappear less than a day later. I was sure my mom would reassure them that Clary was perfectly safe on the island, that I'd never let anyone hurt her, but it was time to get her back. It didn't matter that it was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do. It didn't matter that all I wanted to do was wrap her up inside of myself and run far away, somewhere where we could be together forever. All that mattered was that Clary wanted to go back to New York with her parents. That was what would make her happy, so that was what I'd have to live with.

We walked slowly back to the village together, hand in hand, as the sun started it's slow decent on the horizon. Not a word was said between the two of us, but it was a peaceful and comfortable and familiar silence. I tried to show her in little ways that I loved her, though, like rubbing my thumb over the back of her wrist, or lifting her hand to my mouth to kiss the back gently, or turning to smile at her whenever I could. She always smiled back, and I did my best to ignore the pain and sorrow buried deep in those emerald green eyes I fell in love with.

Just before we stepped through the trees into the village, I stopped walking and pulled Clary into me, wrapping my arms around her and holding her as tight as I could. "Clary," I whispered into her hair, trying to hide the way my eyes watered and my voice cracked. I knew that once her parents found out she was safe after disappearing for a whole day again, they wouldn't let her back out of their sights. I knew that my time alone with her was coming to an end. And I wanted to end it in the best way I could think of.

I pulled back, keeping one arm around her as I used the other to lift her face. I slanted my mouth over hers and kissed her as deeply and as passionately as I could, pulling her body into me hard, like I was trying to melt our bodies into each other. Our tongues danced together in a way that was so familiar, but so different at the same time. We'd kissed like this many times before. But I could feel the pain in this kiss, the hopelessness and sadness and inevitability. The longing for forever, for these feelings we shared to never end. But we both knew forever was impossible.

"Clary!" The familiar voice broke through the Clary induced haze in my brain, and I pulled back with a gasp. We were both panting heavily, and I could feel her warm breath as it washed over my face, tempting me back to her lips. But she turned her head away from me and looked at the person who'd interrupted us, and the moment was broken. "Clary, your parents have been freaking out all day. They think Jace kidnapped you." I unwillingly barked out a laugh, and slowly released her from my arms. Her eyes swung to mine again and filled with tears before she flicked them quickly away.

"Thanks, Aline. I'm coming." Without meeting my gaze again, she put her hands gently on my forearms and stood on her tip toes, brushing her smooth lips against my cheekbone for a long moment. I rested my hands instinctively on her waist to steady her, and sucked in a sharp breath at the contact. God, I just wanted to hold her to me so badly, but she pulled away and turned her back on me, walking quickly through the trees and into the village without looking back or waiting for me. I could hear the relieved shouts of her name and the angry exclamations about her whereabouts for the past few hours from where I stood, frozen to the spot. It didn't even register in my mind that Aline was still standing next to me as I stared after the girl who'd stolen my heart and planned to take it with her hundreds and hundreds of miles away, where I'd never see it or her again.

"Clary," I choked out, my voice breaking as the walls I'd built around my emotions shattered into a thousand tiny little pieces. A sob broke out of my chest and tears streamed unhindered down my face. "Clary, I love you." I ignored the shocked gasp that came from a few feet away from me as I sank to the ground and let the pain wash over me again.

I was losing her. Forever.

. . . But I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

* * *

**Are you guys ready to say goodbye . . ?**

**Does that answer some questions I've gotten about condoms and stuff? No, they don't have them on the island, so they use the ol' 'pull out' rule :)**

**Anyway, thanks everyone for the good wishes and concern over everything that's been going on lately. I really appreciate it 3**

**And thank you for all the reviews in general. And the alerts and favorites and all that wonderful stuff that I get notifications for. Every single one makes my life just a little bit better, my day just a little bit brighter, and my smile just a little bit wider. So thank you, again. You're all absolutely amazing. **

**Keep reviewing and stuff, because like I said above, it's awesome and makes me happy, even when I have to write about sad stuff like goodbyes and broken hearts and all that depressing jazz. :) **

**P.S. Next week is the goodbye. Next week is the last chapter. Next week is when you'll find out what happens between our beloved Jace and Clary. Does she stay? Does he go? Do they say goodbye but find their ways back to each other? Do they say goodbye and never see each other again? I duunnooooooo ;) but like I said, you'll find out next week, so stick with me here. **


	41. Final Goodbye

_*Last chapter, folks. The ending you've all been waiting for! And it's a long one, too! :D*_

_**{Clary POV}**_

"Clary, your parents have been freaking out all day. They think Jace kidnapped you." The sound of someone calling my name had pulled Jace and I apart, and while he was still touching me, I could feel the distance between us like it was a tangible thing. It felt like a never ending chasm cracked open the ground, separating me from the love of my life, and no matter how much we begged and pleaded and wished it otherwise, there was no hope. Jace forced out a humorless laugh, and slowly lowered his arms to his sides, releasing me from the only home I'd ever want. My eyes filled with tears, and I couldn't meet Jace's stare.

"Thanks, Aline. I'm coming," I replied, wondering if my voice sounded as broken to Jace and Aline as it did to me. Unwilling to see the pain in his gaze, I kept my eyes locked on his chest as I rested my hands on his forearms. I could barely feel the contact. It didn't feel the same as touching Jace usually did. My heart hurt too much to race like it always had before, and I could feel the inevitable 'goodbye' in the air, slowly choking me. My breaths came in pants, and even then it still felt like I couldn't get enough oxygen. My legs grew weak and my knees wobbled, so I tightened my grip on his arms and stood on my toes. When my lips touched his cheek, a quiet sob burst from my throat, but I could tell Jace couldn't hear it over his own loud gasp. I felt his arms start to lift like they were going to wrap around me, so I pushed away and almost sprinted back through the trees. I couldn't look back at Jace for fear of forgetting everything but how much I loved him. If I looked at him, I knew my will would crumble and I'd be back in his arms to stay.

But I couldn't do that to my family. I couldn't do that to me. I had to see what I could make of myself. I had to follow what were once my dreams and see if I could make them all come true. God, I loved Jace more than anything. But I couldn't let that cloud my judgment or rule my life. If I did, I was afraid I'd lose myself in the process.

"Clarissa! Clary! Where have you been all day, young lady?! We just get you back after seven months and you disappear on us again? Do you have any idea how worried we were?" I was so out of it that I barely noticed my parents running towards me until they were only feet away. I skidded to a stop and blinked at them a few times.

"Sorry ," I croaked, and then cleared my throat before trying again. "Sorry. I had to say goodbye to a . . . very important friend." They stopped shouting at me and their eyes softened.

"We understand, Clary," my dad said. "And I'm sorry we tried to leave this morning without allowing you time to say goodbye. We hadn't realized how close you've grown to these people." I dropped my head, hiding behind my hair as my tears overflowed. No, they had no idea how close I'd grown to 'these people'. They would never understand how much I loved every single one of them. "We've decided to give you tonight to say goodbye to everyone and we'll leave first thing in the morning, okay?" he continued when I didn't respond. I shrugged. It didn't matter if we left tonight or tomorrow or the next day. The fact of the matter was that we were leaving, and it was going to hurt me and a lot of other people so much. An extra twelve hours wasn't going to change that, despite how much I wished it would.

That's what hurt me the most: the knowledge that in the end, someone was going to get hurt. Even if I chose differently, if I chose to stay on the island with Jace and Celine and Aline and everyone else, my parents would be devastated. They had just gotten me back, and I couldn't ask them to say goodbye to me again so soon after. I didn't want to hurt them like that. But I didn't want to hurt Jace or anyone else, either. It was a situation that I lost either way, so I had to do what was expected of me, what I thought might be best for me.

I knew I could become something great. With my singing and now song writing, I could make it big, just like my parents had always wanted for me. I could make them proud, and that's all I'd ever wanted to do, from the moment my parents told me they wanted me to grow up to be like them. It was a promise I'd made a long time ago, and staying with Jace was just a new dream. I couldn't have them both.

"Clary? Can I talk to you?" I turned away from my parents and met Aline's misty eyes with blank ones of my own. Her expression was conflicted, and she was biting her lip like she was forcing herself to hold back something she desperately wanted to tell me.

"Sure," I replied and followed her slowly through the village and up the ladder, into the room she shared with Jonathan. She turned to face me and let out a small sob.

"Clary, I don't want you to go." I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her that I didn't want to go either but that I _had _to, but she cut me off with a raise of her hand and a shake of her head. "No, please let me say what I have to say. I don't want you to go. You know I don't. You've become the one of the best friends I've ever had, and I . . . I love you. But I've seen you with a guitar, and I've heard you sing, and I know you're so talented that you could do anything. And I respect that. Which is why I'm not going to ask you to stay for me." I closed my eyes and shook my head, reaching one hand up to wipe a lone tear off my cheek that I hadn't been able to hold back.

"I love you, too, Aline. And you're my best friend, too. I'm going to mi-," I said, but she cut me off again.

"No! Clary, listen to me. Let me say my piece. I said I'm not going to ask you to stay for _me_. But I have to ask you to stay for Jace." I took a step back in shock and opened my mouth, but the only sound that came out was a sharp exhale. Aline ignored it and continued speaking, holding her hands clasped together and raised slightly in front of her like she was begging me. "He needs you, Clary. So much. You have no idea how much. And even though you're one of my best friends and I care about you, I've been friends with Jace for a lot longer. He's been there for me for everything, and I need to do this for him. You have to stay. You can't hurt him. He'll be crushed if you leave," she said, stepping closer to me. Every step she took forward, I mirrored backwards. I couldn't hear this now.

"Aline, you don't understand-." I cut off midsentence when she stomped her foot angrily, her expression hardening into a glare.

"No, Clary. You don't understand. You have no idea the depth of Jace's feelings for you. You have no idea what it will do to him if you leave. And if you go through with it, you never will. You'll leave him broken, and the rest of us will have to pick up the pieces. You can't hurt him like that." I was getting angrier and angrier with every word she spoke. Was she kidding me? I didn't know the depth of his feelings for me? He'll be broken? I couldn't hurt him? I didn't understand how she could judge me like that, when she had no idea the depth of _my_ feelings for _him. _Did she not understand that I'd be hurt even worse, even more broken? I loved Jace with everything I was and ever would be. But I had responsibilities.

"Don't you think it'll hurt me, too, Aline? Do you not realize this is the hardest thing I'll ever have to do? I told you, you don't understand! I have to go back _home, _where I _belong_! I can't stay here!" When the pressure of the pain and anger welling up in my chest became too much, I spun around and stalked away, but Aline's next words stopped me before I could even take a single step out of the room.

"Don't leave him like his dad did!" I skidded to a stop and my arms flew up in the air, my fingers tangling in my hair and pulling, hard. I spun on my heel to face her, tears pouring down my cheeks and dripping off my chin.

"That's not fair, Aline! That was different! You know that was different!" She just stared at me, her expression still angry, but her eyes full of pleading and pain and desperation. I couldn't look at her anymore. I closed my eyes and lowered my hands from my hair. "I can't stay, Aline. I just . . . can't," I whispered before I turned and left the room. She didn't try to stop me or call me back, and I attempted to calm myself as I climbed down the ladder. I could let my parents see me like this, or they'd know something was wrong.

And I wasn't going to tell them how much it hurt me that I had to leave with them.

~LOTI~

For the next few hours, I sat at the fire with my parents and the rest of the village. My legs were pulled to my chest, my arms wrapped around my shins and my chin resting on my knees. I was trying to hold myself together until it was time for everyone to go to bed, so I could sneak away to the beach and let myself really cry for the first time since I realized what I'd have to leave behind. I knew I wasn't going to be getting any sleep, probably not for a long time after I left.

It didn't escape my notice that neither Aline nor Jace were at the fire. I kept my face towards the fire, but my eyes were always moving, searching for them. And I couldn't deny the flash of intense pain that shot through me when I realized that they didn't want to spend my last night on the island with me. I knew that it was only because they didn't want to say goodbye, but that didn't make my heart understand that they didn't hate me and weren't trying to avoid me. And I knew, without a doubt, they'd be there on the beach to see me off when it was finally time for me to leave.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, the fire started dying, and people made their ways up to their rooms. Every single one of them stopped to talk to me, telling me they'd miss me and how great they thought I was and how proud they were that I was going to follow my dreams. Not one of them asked me to stay, and with every passing person, my heart hurt a little more, and my tears got just a little harder to hold back. Once everyone was back in their homes, I led my parents up to my room without a word, and I was too lost in my own depression to be shocked that they didn't attempt to start a conversation with me, either.

I laid on the floor while my parents climbed into bed, and stared up at the ceiling. After only a few minutes, I could tell they'd fallen asleep by my father's heavy snoring and my mother's light mumbling. I quietly got to my feet and left, walking slowly through the village and down to the beach. I stared out over the water for a few seconds, waiting for it.

It didn't take long at all for the pain I'd been holding back and trying to ignore to crash down on me. I fell to my knees, gasping for breath, as sob after sob ripped its way out of my body. My vision blurred with tears as they streamed down my face, and I didn't even attempt to wipe them away. I knew they'd just be replaced by new ones soon after.

I cried alone for barely five minutes before a pair of strong, familiar arms wrapped around me and pulled me into a hard body. I didn't even open my eyes as they pulled me closer, seating me across their lap. One of my hands was pulled away from where m arms were curled around me, and two small, warm hands held it between theirs. I squeezed those hands with all the strength I had, while I wrapped my free arm around broad shoulders and buried my face in the neck of the person holding me. And even though I knew I should be embarrassed to be losing it like this in front of two people, who I loved very much, I didn't care.

For the longest time, none of us said a word. The only sounds you could hear were the crashing of the waves, my loud, wracking sobs, and the quiet whimpers of the person holding my hand. Once my eyes ran dry and my throat was raw, I lifted my head and looked at the two people who'd comforted me. Jace and Aline stared back at me, both with complete understanding and deep concern in their eyes.

And I knew they'd never hate me. They understood why I had to return to New York. And they were letting me go.

Jace, Aline and I sat on the beach together all night. We talked about everything we could think of to talk about, this time including New York and all the things I was hoping to do with my life. By the time the sun rose, we were sitting in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other's presence while we still could. And I couldn't have asked for a better way to spend my last night on the island.

We headed back to the village together. Jace had his arm around my waist, holding me tightly to his side, while Aline gripped my other hand in hers. I appreciated the contact more than I could tell them, and I wished we'd never have to let go. But all three of us knew our time was up. I had to go.

The next few hours flew by way too fast. At breakfast, everyone came up to me again, this time presenting me with gifts; either small items I'd be able to take home with me, kind words of encouragement for my life ahead of me, or advice. And I accepted each gift gratefully, knowing I'd remember this day as the rest of my life.

When breakfast ended and everyone had shared something special with me, my parents both took one of my hands. "It's time to go, Clary. We have to go." I nodded and we made our way to the beach where the boat was still docked. I'd already said my goodbyes to everyone, so the only people who accompanied us were Jace, Aline, and Celine. When we reached the sand, I closed my eyes and pulled my parents to a stop.

"I need a minute," I begged them quietly, and they walked away without a word, climbing onto the boat and disappearing below deck. I watched them until they were gone before I turned to the three people I'd miss the most in the world. My eyes went from one face to the next, memorizing every detail; every minute fleck of color in their different eyes, every curve and angle and line of their beautiful faces. They stared back at me sadly, and the pain in their eyes hurt so much to see.

Once I felt I could remember them with perfect clarity for the rest of my life, I turned to Celine first. "Celine. I cannot ever thank you enough for everything you've done for me. You became the second mother I never knew I needed, and you taught me so much." She stepped forward with open arms, and I collapsed into them gratefully. "I'll miss you, Celine," I whispered, wrapping my arms tightly around her waist.

"I'll miss you, too, Clarissa." With that, she squeezed me once more before releasing me and stepping back. I could see the sadness in her features, but her eyes remained dry, and my respect for her swelled. She had so much strength, and I knew I could only dream of having half of the amazing qualities she did.

I turned to Aline next. "Aline, I'm so sorry about last night. I never wanted to fight with you." She waved off my apology, and we moved towards each other in synchronization. I wrapped my arms around her neck and hugged her to me as tight as I could without choking her to death. "I love you, Aline. You're the closest thing to a sister I've ever had." She let out a soft sob but no words, and we just held onto each other for a minute before she, too, stepped back. Her and Celine wrapped their arms around each other and watched as I finally turned to Jace. He was looking at the sand beneath his feet, but I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around his waist anyway. His breath left him in a loud gust, and his arms flew around me to crush me against him.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Clary," he said. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." I bit my lip to keep, forcing myself to stop myself before I told him how madly in love I was with him. It was just hurt him more in the long run, so I kept my mouth shut. After a few minutes of silence, he pressed his mouth to my hair. "Don't forget me," he whispered.

I pulled back and lifted my arms, cradling his beautiful face in my palms. His eyes slid closed and he let out a heavy sigh as he lifted his own hands to cover mine and hold them to his cheeks. "I could never forget you, Jace. Never." With that, I pulled him down to me, and gave him the most tender, passionate kiss I could. It was slow and chaste, but it was enough to make me see stars as my heart swelled with love for him. Without looking away from his eyes, I reached behind my neck to the clasp of my necklace and undid it, pressing it into his palm. I knew I couldn't tell him I loved him, but it was my small way of letting him know he had my heart, that he always would. His eyes filled with an indefinable emotion before he repeated my action, instead dropping his shark tooth necklace over my hand so it rested comfortably in the hollow of my throat. I let out a soft whimper before pulling him back down to my lips.

I pulled away after a moment, pressing my lips once more to his before I dropped my arms and stepped back. "I'll miss you. All of you," I said, forcing a smile. "I'll think of you all the time, but it's time for me to go. Bye." I knew how pathetic it was. I knew I should have said so much more, done so much more, to show them how much the three of them meant to me. But I couldn't for fear of saying 'fuck it' and staying with them on the island for the rest of my life.

"Bye," they repeated in unison, and I turned on my heel and walked to the boat. I climbed mechanically onto the boat and stood by the railing as it started up, pulling away from the beach slowly. I raised my hand and waved towards where I thought the three of them were still standing, right at the line of trees. They grew smaller and smaller in my vision as the boat got farther away, but before they could disappear completely, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"What are you doing, Clary?" my father asked me in a low voice.

"What do you mean?" I replied, my own voice sounding hollow and dead to even my own ears. I didn't have the energy to pretend I was happy to be going home.

"You love that boy. You love those people. And they love you, too. So, I'll say it again . . . _What are you doing?_" I turned my head to look at him, and I could see it in his eyes. He was letting me go. He knew everything, from how much I loved Jace to how much I was going to miss the island. I could tell just from his expression that he understood.

"What about Broadway?" I asked. "What about our dreams?" He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and turned me to look back at the beach. I hadn't even noticed the boat slowing down, but now it was just bobbing in the water, not moving any farther away from the place I really longed to be.

"Dreams change, Clary," he replied tenderly. "Besides, that was our dream for you. Doesn't mean it has to be yours, too." I opened my mouth to disagree, tell him he was wrong and it had become my dream, too, but my mother's voice cut me off before I could.

"Follow your heart, Clary. Not your head." I spun around to look at her, and reflected back at me in her eyes –so like my own- was the exact same understanding that had been in my father's eyes. And I could see that they'd already accepted it. They expected me to turn away from them, from everything they've ever wanted for me. And they were okay with it.

I sobbed loudly and jumped at my mom, wrapping myself around her as tight as I could. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you," I chanted, as I felt her arms go around me as well. My father stepped up behind me and pulled us both into his embrace. "I love you. So much," I told them.

"We love you, too," my mother responded. "We'll miss you, but we just want you to be happy." With that, she pulled away and stepped back, her eyes gleaming wetly in the sunlight. "Now, I think it's about time we turn this boat around." She disappeared below deck and I turned to hug my father.

"I'll come visit. I promise. And I'll bring Jace, and you can come visit here, too. I'll stay in touch, I promise." My dad laughed and held me to his side as the boat turned and started heading back to the island. To Jace.

I bounced on my toes, too excited to stay still. I couldn't believe it. My parents, who'd pushed me from birth towards the dream of being a Broadway star, were letting me go. They knew, even after living without me for seven very long months, that it wasn't what I wanted, that it wasn't what would make me happy. Celine made me happy. Aline made me happy. The island made me happy.

Jace made me happy.

Once the boat stopped on the edge of the beach, I jumped onto the sand and took off towards the opening in the trees that led to the village. I barely noticed the person standing by the rocks, , their head bent down to look at something they had clutched in their fist, but once I did, my heart practically burst in my chest. It was Jace, and he was alone. It was time I make it known to him that I was his, forever, or however long he wanted me.

"Jace!" He looked up just in time for me to throw myself at him. His arms came around me easily and he squeezed the breath right out of my lungs.

"Clary? What are you doing?!" he asked. "You have to go!" But his arms tightened around me, pulling me closer even as his words were meant to encourage me in the other direction. I pulled back and beamed at him.

"Jace," I murmured, leaning in to press a kiss to his perfect lips once before I pulled back. I wanted to keep kissing him, now that I could for as long as I wanted to, but I had to tell him. "Jace, have you ever lost every single person you loved, all at the same time?" I asked him. I could see it in his eyes that his thoughts immediately went to his father. But he closed his mouth again right after he opened it, and I could tell he realized that while he'd lost his dad, he'd still had his mother and all his friends left behind. Finally, he shook his head. "I have." His eyes filled with pain for _me_, and I shook my head, lifting my hands to cradle his face again. I stared deep into his beautiful eyes, and willed him to understand. "I have, Jace. And I'm not willing to do it again."

He stared back at me uncomprehendingly for a second. But then his eyes filled with hope, happiness, and one other emotion that I'd seen in his eyes before but had never been able to put a name to. But now I could, because I knew the same was reflecting out of my own eyes.

"You're . . . staying?" he asked, his voice filled with so much longing and hope that my eyes filled with tears. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm staying. Because I love you." Before I could take another breath, his arms crushed me to his body, his mouth slanting over mine and his tongue meeting mine passionately. Again, my heart swelled in my chest, and I was so full of love and happiness that I felt like I was about to burst.

"Clary," he whispered against my lips, again and again. After a few moments, he pulled his mouth away from mine, but I leaned forward to try to claim it again. I didn't want to stop kissing him. I knew what it felt like to believe I'd never be able to again, and I wanted to erase that memory from my mind forever. But his words did that so much better than even his lips could.

"I love you, too, Clary. So much." My breath caught and I knew right then that I'd spend the rest of my life on this island, with this boy and his friends and family. Because he was my home, my happily ever after.

All my dreams were finally coming true.

* * *

**Like I could ever split them up?! What kind of author do you think I am?! ;D haha**

**I know I said this is the final chapter of the story. And it is. But I'm going to write an epilogue, just because I want to :D it'll be up next Wednesday, hopefully earlier than tonight's update. **

**I love reviews and all that amazing stuff I get notifications for, so keep them coming, yeah?! They make my week better. :) and they encourage me to post an epilogue, haha. So you can thank yourselves for that one! **

**Anyway, goodnight, readers. Thank you for sticking with this story. Only one more update, and it'll all be over, and I can't even begin to thank those of you who have stuck it out with me from the very beginning. You're amazing. Thank you. **

**See you next week, and I'm looking forward to reviews telling me opinions on how I ended the story! **


	42. Epilogue

_**{Jace POV}**_

~_Seventeen months later~_

"I love you, baby," I whispered, fingering the shark tooth resting comfortably in the hollow of my girl's throat. Clary looked up at me through her beautiful copper lashes before cuddling closer into my side. The feeling of her naked body against mine sent all sorts of tingles through me.

"I love you, too," she replied. When I felt her lips press against my collarbone, I shuddered and rolled on top of her, capturing her mouth with mine and lowering my hand to make sure she was ready for another round.

It had taken me and Clary less than thirty six hours after she decided to stay to make love again. But that time, and the many, _many _times we'd been together since, I'd made sure to get her off at least two times before I did, usually once with my mouth or fingers and once with my cock. It felt absolutely amazing when she came on my dick, and we'd been going at it like animals since that first night, anywhere we could get privacy. She'd also gone down on me the second time we made love, despite how I told her it really wasn't necessary. But she'd been adamant, saying she wanted to try it and see if she could make me feel good at it. Well, she was a fucking natural, and apparently liked doing it enough to where she went down on my at least once every other day.

God, I fucking loved her. She was so perfect.

About an hour later, Clary rolled off of me and laid on her back in the sand. It wasn't the first time we'd had sex on the beach, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, despite the discomfort of getting sand in all of our little crevices. "God, Jace, that was amazing," she sighed, her chest heaving with gasping breaths. I smiled smugly and wrapped an arm around her so I could tuck her into my side until it was time we got up to go back to the village for dinner time.

I helped Clary up and worked on rubbing the sand off of her, massaging her muscles with my fingertips as I went. Once her body looked clean enough, I stepped away from her to allow her room to put on her clothes as I pulled on my own. As I was pulling my shirt over my head, I heard a pained gasp followed by a retch and the sound of vomiting. I quickly uncovered my face and my heart clenched when I saw my beautiful girl.

She was on her hands and knees on the sand, her back arching and her body stretching as she threw up, over and over again. I dropped down next to her and held her hair out of her face with one hand, rubbing her back with the other. She let out a small sob and a whimper before throwing up again. "What's wrong, baby?" I asked quietly, not expecting and not receiving an answer. I sat with her as she continued to empty her stomach on the beach, impatient to get her to my mom. But I didn't want her to throw up while I was carrying her and choke, so I waited until she felt better.

"Jace," she groaned, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. I tucked her hair behind her ear and lifted her face so she would meet my gaze. Her normally bright green eyes were slightly cloudy with pain, and her skin was paler than it usually was.

"You okay?" I asked. She nodded and shrugged at the same time, which I took as an affirmative. I stood up and gently lifted her into my arms, holding her snuggly against me. Her head lolled onto my shoulder and I walked as quickly and as smoothly as I could, trying not to jostle her too much so she didn't get sick again. I spoke soothingly into her ear the entire way back to the village, and it worried me immensely when she didn't respond in any way.

Once we reached the village, I carried her to the bottom of the ladder of our house and tried to figure out the best way to get her up there, but her sweet voice cut me off. "Jace, I can make it up the ladder. It's okay." I stared skeptically into her eyes for a moment. The color was coming back into her cheeks and she didn't look like she was in pain or going to be sick again, so I nodded once and let her down. She climbed the ladder slowly, and I stayed on the ground below so I could catch her if she fell. But once she reached the top and crawled onto the deck, I threw myself up behind her, quickly scooping her back into my arms when I reached her and carrying her passed the room we'd shared since the night she decided she was staying, straight into my mom's.

She was sitting at her desk writing something, but looked up at us as soon as I carried Clary into the room. She immediately jumped into action, ordering me to put Clary down on the bed and asking what had happened and how she was feeling. Clary answered all the questions herself, while I stood in the corner and watched, feeling useless. After a few moments of questioning, my mom turned to me with an emotion in her eyes that I couldn't read.

"Jonathan, go get me some water," she demanded. I opened my mouth to protest, to tell her that Clary needed me and I wasn't going anywhere, but she wordlessly pointed her finger out the door and glared at me. I stole a quick glance at Clary as I walked out, but she was looking up at my mom and missed it.

For the next ten minutes, I paced back and forth on the deck outside of our rooms, twisting my hands together. Every worst case scenario possible was flitting through my mind, until I practically had myself convinced Clary was dying of some obscure disease that was untreatable, or some kind of illness that she was going to die from without surgery or something. I was just about to go back in the room and demand to know what was going on when my mom came out and beckoned me in with her hand.

I sprinted into the room, dying to make sure Clary was okay, but skidded to a stop when I saw her. She was sitting on the bed with her shoulders bowed, her arms wrapped around her body and tears streaming down her face. I couldn't see her eyes to know what she was feeling, so I settled with trying to find out the old fashioned way.

"Mom, what the hell is going on? What's wrong with, Clary?" I asked, my voice cracking. She stared back at me for a few moments, still with that unknown emotion in her eyes, before turning her gaze to Clary.

"I'll tell him," Clary whispered. My mom nodded and left the room without another word. After staring after her for what felt like years, I moved over to the bed and sat next to Clary. I pried one of her arms away from her body and held her hand tightly between mine.

"Tell me what, Clary? Please, what's wrong? Tell me you're okay," I begged. My vision was getting cloudy with my own tears, and my heart felt like it was about to break. I couldn't lose Clary. Not after everything we'd been through and everything she'd given up to stay here with me. I couldn't lose her.

"I'm okay," she replied, still refusing to look up at me. But I could hear the sincerity in her tone, and I trusted her. So I believed she was okay. But why had she thrown up, and why was she crying?

"Clary!" I pleaded. "Tell me!" She nodded and finally lifted her head so I could see her eyes, and what I saw shocked me so much I forgot to be worried. Clary's eyes were brilliant, filled with excitement and happiness and a love so deep I could feel it as she looked at me. Her lips were pulled into a blinding smile and her cheeks were rosy with an excited blush.

"Jace, I'm . . ." She cut off and sucked her lower lip in between her teeth before squeezing my hand and squaring her shoulders. "I'm pregnant," she finished.

All the breath left me in a woosh, leaving me gasping for air. The walls were closing in on me all of a sudden as I worked to wrap my mind around the information Clary had just shared with me. She was . . . _ pregnant? _With a baby, _my _baby? We were going to have a baby?

As I continued staring at her uncomprehendingly, it finally registered with me: we were going to have a _baby. _A little piece of Clary, and a little piece of me, mixed together to make a new life. Our love, stronger than anyone could possibly understand, was bringing a new life into this world. We had made something beautiful together, just us.

My heart absolutely exploded with joy as I lifted Clary into my arms and swung her around the room, happy tears running down both of our cheeks as we laughed. "Pregnant?" I asked, just to clarify.

"Yes, Jace," she giggled in response. "We're going to have a baby."

"A baby?" I repeated. I needed to hear her say it again so I was sure this wasn't just a dream. I needed to know that I Clary was mine, that we were together, and that we'd actually created something beautiful with the intense love and devotion we felt for each other.

"A baby," she answered. I set her down on her feet, grabbed her face between my hands and pulled her to me, crashing my mouth down onto hers. We were having a baby. Clary and I were going to be parents. We would be together, building a family, and living happily ever after, just like I'd been dreaming about with her since that first moment I realized I loved her.

My dreams came true the moment Clary told me she was staying on the island with me because she loved me as much as I loved her. But with this news, I realized that not all of them had come true yet. And with this new information, I also realized something else.

It was time to make new dreams with the women I loved beside me forever.

* * *

**I know it's a bit shorter than all the other chapters, but it wasn't meant to be an actual chapter. This was supposed to be sort of a teaser/lead up to the sequel! :D**

**Yes, there will be a sequel. I promise you that. But my schedule has been so crazy lately, and I've been working like hell to get these chapters out on time to you guys, and I don't want to have to rush or be late or anything, so I think I'm going to take a break with the storyline for awhile. I want to write a couple chapters before I start posting so I can be on time once I do start and so you never have to wait for a chapter you'd been expecting. Know what I mean? But I promise there will be a sequel to this story. As soon as I'm ready, I'll start. Just add me to your alerts and you'll know :D **

**I honestly just can't believe it's over! My first story ever, finished. It's a crazy feeling, honestly. And I just want to thank everyone whose been reading this story. I love you, whether you've been with my from the beginning or if you're a new reader. Either way, you're amazing, and the only reason I've been able to keep this story going to the end. It means so much to me to know that you guys liked it enough to read it through to the end. So thank you. **

**THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.**

**You're amazing :D and thank you for the reviews and everything else! I appreciate it more than I can explain. **

**Speaking of reviews, I kind of have a bet going with my friend about the number of reviews this chapter will get. The last chapter got the most out of all the other ones, and I told her this one could probably get at least forty, but she thinks that since it's shorter that it won't. So, can you help me win the bet? Please? Forty reviews? How about this? Since I'm asking for a favor, I have to do something in return. If this chapter gets forty reviews or more by next Tuesday, I'll post the first chapter of the sequel on Wednesday. Please? Is that fair? :D **

**So, to be clear, if this chapter recieves forty or more reviews by next Tuesday, I will post the opening chapter of the sequel on Wednesday. Yes? **

**Happy Valentine's day, everyone. And, again, thank you so much for sticking with me through the duration of this story. It wouldn't be the same without you. **

**XOXO **

**Until next time. :-***

**~LOTI~**


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